Despite me crushing on my best friend this in no way is a LOVE STORY.
that would be wishful thinking and a fantasy.
nope definitely not
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Define the word Crush. No Not literally. The Crush when you have feelings for someone so strongly and profound. From experience I've always thought of them as a fleeting attraction then when you know them its fleeting. So in this situation I can help but wonder if this is Love?
No No Just a strong crush right? though my dissolve is falling of denial.
She said "we're to young to know what love is" it echo's in my mind.
I Love her
Although I don't know how else to describe how I feel for her. What if I realized it sooner? Would I still be consumed by this gnawing fear of losing her? As I face so deeply now. Uncontrollable to stop well its very unlikely Id admit that even to my friends who know now how I feel. Maybe this is the right time to realize such but it sure doesn't feel like it. Looking back there were so many chances I could've taken and dared to try. But who am I kidding I did not even confess with crush of just attraction. Even as I look back I cant help but wonder as what if she liked me at one point. But that seems to all unlikely.
So I listened and paid more attention to her. Even there was so much time I didn't think to. would we be together now in another universe? its hard not to think its all in my head all in my mind!
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
I hope some day I have the courage to ask her. But that's rather wishful thinking.
The day I realized I had feelings for was her birthday.
"Funnily" enough she had a boyfriend.
Ironic right?
I was fumed with jealously. Now that's a bit exaggerated but I did feel jealous of course.
Denial set in that day I just didn't want to lose the attention of my best friend.
that was the first day we all saw the boyfriend for the first time since we have heard about him.
at first I though I was envious of there relationship
(future me: YOU LIKE HER DUMMY)
I felt a little too interested in her boyfriend I don't know why.
I pushed those thoughts away. Lily that's angels boyfriend. I'm just curious that's all. but I knew that was a lie. even as my chests tightens. although joy filled me that aside since we haven't seen each other in weeks been so long since a hang out.
It doesn't help she goes to a different school. as it soon came time for the party we picked restaurant to meet up at first. it was fun a teenager having a sense of responsibility. we were all already 16, time flies.
I was nervous to see the guy when we only had words and angels thoughts. which granted might be influence for how she feels. he sounds like a good guy.
"BUT HES NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER" a voice says within my mind.
To snap out of it I pinch my arm. be calm be fine.
your meeting your bestie you can relax so I do.
but then I see him clinging to her like a lost puppy.
my eyes looking at the locking hands. my mood sours instantly.