‘Black, everything is black. What have I done?’ I thought to myself. ‘I was hoping for some reward program, like with my coffee… earn some stars and spent them on whatever.’ On the verge of panicking I reckoned I had to stop with this train off thoughts. ‘Nope, not again, I am not taking this path. I had to get myself under control, no panicking, look at the facts as you know them…’
Considering the circumstances I came to the following conclusions: The reboot started after about 4 hours, the program “said” integration would take 12 hours and now it was completely black. I was probably still in the reboot sequence. ‘Yes, that’s it, definitely it’ I thought to myself to calm my nerves.
Relaxing a little bit after these facts I tried to look at my surroundings, however black they were. Except knowing is was in a big black nothingness I got noting from any other senses. No, sound no smell, not even a feeling for temperature warm or cold. After that is tried looking at more internal senses. Could I feel myself, my body… this was also in vain. There was this uneasy feeling again, the onset of a panic attack. I fancied myself better now. ‘Nope, not again… no more panic attacks for me… calm your ass down.’ And in that way I was coming together a little bit.
Being a tad bit more collected my brain went at it again. How long would I have to stay in this black abys. No way to know how much time has passed, no indication how long it will take apart from the 12 our time limit. But how long was that?
More thoughts came to me. ’That last message wasn’t on my phone but in my head, maybe I can do something whit that. Just maybe I can get a bit more information. How to go about it, just thinking about the system extra hard, visualizing a menu or desktop or something like that. Who knows, might just try it.’
In previous years I had done a lot of reading, as a somewhat withdrawn person this was the best way to spent most of my time. Sure I was part of a squad, and as squat leader I interacted with all my guys. Out in the field we were a well-oiled machine appreciating each other. Talking shit and whatever we needed to kill time and calm the nerves. But really, I was somewhat more dependent on myself. As a sergeant and NCO my team valued me and needed me to make the calls were it be some internal squat business or when the shit hit rotary air mover.
Other than that back on base, during down time, there was some more separation between the enlisted and me as NCO. They didn’t shun me, far from it. But I felt it, I saw it. Whenever they were kicking the bucket without me they were just a bit more relaxed. So I kept a to myself, reading. Giving them the space they needed to fully relax and recover before we had to go out again. Dodging IED’s and such. Well look how that turned out.
Not that I was complaining, I loved reading, I loved solitude, I loved the responsibility of the job and thrust my squat put in me. But most of al I loved that I didn’t have to return to that shitshow. Yeah getting hurt was fucked up, but I was still alive and after tis reboot I could go back to my life, get a job and from there build myself up again. Maybe in my downtime I could get some reading done.
Getting back to the situation at hand, although the blackness was feeling macabre it did remind me about my favorite genre “high phantasy and LitRPG”, and this was feeling just like that. If that was so I was really FUCKED, I rather liked earth and to be Isek… . NO, stop! I am not rambling or spiraling… Nope not again… Never again, it will lead to dark places which I don’t want to visit again. That was a place off the past. Of my teenage years, I’m an adult now, a rational adult.
System notification
Integration successful, new life initializing
10
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1
Good luck Luke
‘What? What’s going on here. What am I supposed to do now?’ I thought still in the black.
Pressure was surrounding me, then the pressure let up. I felt like crying, like screaming, really confused. Then I felt it something hit my ass, painfully. It was cold but the darkness had passed. I couldn’t see very well, everything was a bit hazy. Then I cried, I cried loudly, like a baby. Nothing I could do to stop it, it was like a reflex, something from deep within. It felt liberating, as a grown man crying was not something you’d suppose to do, but right now it felt like the right thing.
Then I heard voices, muddled voices. They where definitely not in English even if they were I knew I couldn’t understand them. Something was wrong very wrong… before I could react and panic I felt a pressure again, not like last time. This was feeling like I was enveloped in comfortable fabric, while something or someone was hugging me. This felt good, and then I nodded off.
Hunger, I was hungry. No, ravenous, starved. And I was crying again. Then I felt two hands lifting me, big hands like those of a giant. This was even more terrifying than the blackness, so I cried my hart out, giving piercing whales. This had no rime or reason, a grown ass man crying like a baby… Then it hit me ‘BABY, am I a fucking BABY. No this couldn’t be right, jet the notification had said new life’. Damn this was confusing, I could hardly think strait. Then I started trying to get the system back, visualizing a menu, then a desktop, anything. Getting tired again I screamed in my mind “MENU! PROGRAM! STATUS!” and there it was.
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Status
Username (Hidden)
Luke
Basic
Status
Baby
Exp
-
Name
-
Alias
-
Species
Lepjag
Seks
Male
LVL
0
Age
1 day
HP
5
MP
0 of 0
Attibutes
All attributes are capt
Str
0
Dex
0
Agi
0
End
0
Int
5
Wis
0
‘Fuuuuck!’ This was exactly what he was afraid of. ‘Shit am I a baby? Was that why I was crying like one? My mind might be that of a grown up, but my body is that of an infant. Instinctually my body did what it was supposed to do! Cry when it was hungry.’ While contemplating this, my body kept making that gruesome wailing sound until it was shut down by a nipple which was shoved in his mouth. I knew what I was supposed to do. Suck it and eat. It wasn’t the first time sucked on a nipple, only this time there was no exhilarating feeling, no sighs or gasps from the other side. ‘Thank god’ I thought, ‘that would make this even more awkward’. Instead of that I heard pleasant humming, somewhat like a familiar children’s song. While getting my meal in this unexpected way, I was drifting away again, nothing I could do about it.
When I opened my eyes I tried to look around. Everything blurry, I couldn’t focus on anything. I tried to wave my hands in front of my face, maybe I could see them better. Yes them I could see, not completely clear, but a lot better than the rest of my surroundings. However moving my hands was a task on its own, keeping them steady was out of the question. ‘Okay right baby’s had to develop everything’. Reasoning along this path I set to task. ‘If I was a baby then I was going to be the best baby possible. I had intended to build myself up just before those strange messages started and this was just a hurdle. Might be a big hurdle, but not one I couldn’t overcome!’ Trying to move my hands as coordinated as possible, trying to build strength and coordination sleep overtook me again.
I was smelling something terrible, atrocious. Something smelled like crap, then I felt something cold in my nether region. ‘Shit, not something is smelling like crap. I am smelling like crap! Motherfucker I shat myself, I’m to old for this. Nope, I’m a baby. This is appropriate, this is supposed to happen.’ And then I was crying again. Moments later I was lifted out of my bed by those big hands and softly rocked to a gentle humming. Still crying someone took my clothes of and it was cold again. Moments later the big hands cleaned me and put me in a bath, this was to much. Bye, bye…
Contemplating on my situation I thought ‘This is going to be a long grind, better get ready for the long haul. Don’t expect to much to soon and try to take it one day at a time. Thank god I have no one depending on me back home, no real anchors to earth except maybe the marines… but they were done with me. I was no longer useful. I was a liability for them now considering I was dismissed on medical grounds. Nope, not again… leave the negative thoughts. This was an opportunity, this was a chance for a new live. For happiness, at least this time I knew someone was caring for me now. Every time I cried those hands came and made it better. Yes, this was going to be better.’ And for no other reason than feeling those hands again, I was crying.
So it went for a few days, crying for whatever reason. Me trying to move my hands and feet grabbing what was in reach. Then I got a notification:
System notification
[ You got (2/10) experience!]
+ 1 Str, + 1 End
‘Yes! This was what I needed! How I got better, I was going to be the best baby ever. And for whatever came next I was going to give it my all to be the best I could be!’ This was my solemn pledge to myself, which I made to myself in the hospital. So I went to the grind again. The next day I got another message.
System notification
[ You got (3/10) experience!]
+ 1 Dex
This was really motivating, this way I could do it. Actual feedback on my progress, something tactile. I was feeling so good. Then the hands came again, like every time for the last few days. Except this time the hands were even bigger. There was even humming, just a more baritone sound than the tenor from before. Reflexing on this I came to the conclusion that the smaller hands, with de tenor humming must be the mother and de bigger hands, with the deeper sounding hums should be the father. ‘No my mother and my father, at least in this live’.
Trying to see what my father looked like I moved my head and saw. Not what I was expecting to see but definitely I saw a figure. Only this somewhat humanoid face had more fur than skin, and the fur was a rich orange and littered with black spots! Just like a leopard, no not like but exactly the same as a leopard. My mind went haywire! ‘System! high phantasy! LitRPG! Isekai! Fuck me, my father is some leopard-human hybrid, a fucking beastman! Then I would be a beastman to. O, man. This is going to be so fucking cool.
System notification
[ You got (4/10) experience!]
+ 1 Wis
Looking at the notification, forgetting my new father. I thought to myself ‘Wow, this is really great. This way I am going to make progress like nothing else. Lets get to grinding as soon as possible’. But sleep was calling me, so I gave in and the world went black once more.