I was lying in bed, and feeling disappointed. Disappointed in myself and in life itself. On top off that I was feeling like an asshole for it. At least I was still alive, had all my limbs and wasn’t reduced to a vegetable unlike so many of my friends and team members. It was six months after the ambush in Afghanistan and I should feel like a lucky man. But in my own mind I wasn’t feeling it.

During the ambush I was standing at the far side of his Humvee when the IED went off. So at least the Humvee took the grunt off the impact of the explosion. Yes, some shrapnel hit my face and therefore I had a metal plate in his skull. That really had hurt, a burning feeling like nothing else I had felt before. On the other hand some off my teammates were not so lucky, they got thorn to pieces by the explosion. On the other side of the Humvee only Jack had survived and he was missing a leg and half his right arm.

After several operations and extensive physical therapy I was walking again. For two weeks now with the help of these damn crutches, but walking still. The Humvee had rolled over my leg and crushed my ankle and shin. The whole thing was just so stupid, surviving an IED and being kicked out of service because an f-ing car decided to crush you.

The injuries I had suffered weren’t the reason why I was down. The real reason was that I thought the marines were my last chance for a decent life. Up until joining my life was a real shitshow. Momma left when I was just a baby and dad was a real SOB who didn’t care one way or the other about him. When he wasn’t in jail for whatever he did last, he was hugging a bottle of Jack.

So after my grandparents had died when I was eight I got a permanent stay at the local orphanage. Witch wasn’t to bad if you didn’t count de constant bulling by the older kids, or that witch ever possession you had would be stolen by the ‘caretaker’. At least it build character I thought then, just a shitty suspicious one, who might believe in the right off the strongest. This, to me, was unacceptable so I had made it myself a lot more difficult than necessary.

‘I have to get out of this funk, this wasn’t me.’ I thought. ’Nothing can get me down, I will prove that I will prevail and make something of myself unlike my death beat dad.’ Ruminating further about the last time I saw him my dad when said: “you’re never gonna be better than….” ‘. No, stop, no more negative thoughts. This is my life, my time, time to build! The first step should be trying to walk normal again. Yeh that’s a good first step.’

So I got up, took one off the crutches and made my way to the cafeteria. Normally the route would be around 500 meters, but today I made a detour. Just to get some extra steps in and exercise my leg a little bit extra. On my way there I got a weird message on my phone.

“You are selected for integration. Do you wish to proceed?”

‘What the hell is this’ I thought. ‘Integration? Integration in what?’ While thinking about this strange message I reached the cafeteria and got myself a cup of coffee. Got to a boot and sat down with one of the abandoned newspapers to keep my mind busy, and maybe look for a job for when I got discharged from the hospital and with that from the marines. Yes, I would get disability but that wouldn’t last me forever. And foremost I had just decided that he would make something of myself and for that I would need to be proactive, not wasting time away somewhere collecting benefits. The rest of the morning I spent there and left just in time for my physical therapy. The weird message forgotten.

While applying extra effort at physical therapy I still had a limp and couldn’t put my full weight on my right leg. At least I got my balance back witch I had lost after they installed the steel plate in the right side of my face. Another month and therapy would be done according to the doctors. And then they would discharge me. After therapy I walked back to my room to get a shower and again got a message.

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“This is the selection program for the integration procedure. You are selected to integrate in the program. Do you wish to proceed?”

‘What! This is even weirder than the first message. Why am I selected, and what is this program’ I mused. While thinking about this I looked a little bit closer to the message, no sender, not even anonymous. Just this message in my inbox and when looking for the first I couldn’t find it. This was getting eerie. ‘Was this the military? Was this some top secret government project? That didn’t feel right. I was still in the service, if they wanted me for something they could just give me an order to appear somewhere. It wasn’t like I was out of reach, I was in a freaking military hospital. So I figured that it wasn’t the military or the government, they wouldn’t need the covert messages, stealthy placed in my phone.

After the shower I went back to the cafeteria to meet up with Jack to get dinner and together. They did this every day for as long as they were in the revalidation center together. Maybe he would know something, they served the same unit, where part of the same ambush and had the same physical therapist. Even the mandatory group therapy and shrink where the same. Who knows Jack was receiving the same wacky messages.

“Please do not confer with others. You are the only one selected. If you share knowledge from the program your selection will be null and void. The program is designed to measure and reward your progress. Do you wish to proceed?”

I was getting sick of the strange messages, at least I got some answers. But how did they realize witch questions I had? ‘Fuck it’ I thought, ‘I want to build and this “program” will reward progress, why the hell not, lets do this!’. Before I could think anything else another message came.

“Integration procedure started. Welcome to the program. Integration will take 12 hours.”

Well, no harm no foul’ I reasoned and walked into the cafeteria and got myself some food. Tonight was pizza night, my favorite. At least this was going to be a meal I would enjoy. Jack was already at a table gobbling down a slice, with a few lying in waiting to be his next victims. I smiled at the sight. My buddy was worse off than me whit his injuries, but kept his great attitude no matter what. He might not be the sharpest pencil in the bunch, but no one was more reliable or unmistakable positive than him. Jack was a real workhorse and by that one off the cornerstones of his old unit when deployed. I wished I could be more like Jack, happy and hard working. Mabey a little simple but content with life, not mulling over every little thing and be the withdrawn loner. Whilst I was musing this, Jack had already put away two more slices and his trey was almost empty.  “Hey Luke, you mute SOB can you get me a couple more” yelled Jack through the canteen while waving his last slice in his hand. I laughed and stuck my thump up. Sure I would get Jack what he asked for and piled two more slices on my trey.

Joining him we talked about the last game and some other meaningless stuff, carefully avoiding the elephant in the room. Nobody wanted to be reminded about the reason why we were here or how long we had to stay. Only in the mandatory counseling sessions it was spoken about, although reluctantly.

After the meal we went to the rec room to kill some more time before bed and the next day of therapy. Playing foosball and watching collage football on the big screen the night slowly moved on. Although knowing better I used this time pondering about the program. ‘What exactly did I sign up for, what was this “integration procedure”, what did the program measure and what were the rewards? Could I use this to be more like Jack, or some of his buddy’s? Be more outgoing, less absorbed by pondering. Sure I knew how to have fun and I wasn’t a slouch, else I wouldn’t have made it in the marines for a day. Still, comparing to Jack I felt just accepted by most of the guys, not one of them. I wasn’t jealous, I looked up to those guys. No time wasted with doubting themselves just working or having fun.’ This time I got a new message, not on my phone but in my subconsciousness…

System notification

Time till full reboot 10 seconds

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

Reboot initialized

The last thought he had was ’Fuck me, here we go’

Everything went black