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No Respawn
ARC 1: Chapter 14: Cold War

ARC 1: Chapter 14: Cold War

Chapter 14: Cold War

 Miguel

After I stored the Sacred Relic to my inventory, I lay down on my bed for a few more minutes. My head hurts like hell and my eyes were a bit heavy and in need of more sleep. I gave myself to the temptation and fell asleep.

A few minutes later, before I even got into a deeper state of sleep, I was woken up by Melissa and gave me a plate of fried rice and sausages for breakfast. I told her that I wasn’t hungry but she insisted that I should eat and she won’t leave until I do. Annoyed, I quickly finished off my breakfast and went back to sleep. I was glad that she didn’t bug me after that.

I was jolted awake after a few minutes by the annoying noise coming from the first floor and the other room. It’s probably the others doing some stupid things. I changed my sleeping position to my side and covered my ears with a pillow. The noise were finally muffled by the pillow and I tried to go back to sleep.

My sleep was once again interrupted when I heard a loud wail of a woman. I immediately sat up in my bed and realized that there’s something wrong happening downstairs.

As soon as I tried to stand up, I felt a throbbing pain in my head. I fell down to the ground as I held my head. I tried to open my eyes but my vision was moving left and right and I felt nauseous. It was like the worst hangover I ever had.

I opened my Character Screen to see my Status.

Name:Miguel ArevaloRace:HumanLevel:16HP:526/526MP:197/197SP:120/120EXP:71.57%STR:19WIS:48AGI:12INT:60VIT:42LUK:13DEX:12CHA:21Satiety:FineStatusExtreme Mental Strain: -80% MP and -50% Mana ControlUndistributed Attribute Points:0Title(s):Masochist: +10% Pain Tolerance and HPPerk(s):Leadership: +10 Charisma and increased follower loyaltyTactician: Tactics and Strategies have higher chance of successMana Affinity: Increase in Mana Control and +10% MP

Extreme Mental Strain? Is that why my head hurts like hell? I tried to cast [Cure Disease] on myself to get rid of Extreme Mental Strain debuff but as soon as my mana flowed from my body, I felt a stabbing pain in my head and I felt more nauseous. I needed more rest but I wanted to keep moving.

I came to conclusion that we’re under attack when I heard sounds of fighting downstairs. I used my staff to support myself while walking. Like an old man with a walking stick, I walked slowly through the hallway to find the others. It was taking me forever just to walk for a few meters.

I opened the door to the other room and found a woman standing in front of the door and she was about to stab me with a spear. I fell down to the ground and fortunately, the spearhead stopped inches before it reaches my chest.

“Oh shit! Sorry, I thought you’re a monster.” The woman said.

I was groggy from the fall and tried my best to focus. “What’s happening? Where are the others?”

“They’re fighting the monsters downstairs… Eric told me and two others to stay here and protect the children…” The woman pointed at the room.

The two other members of the group were also standing in front of the door holding bows in their hand. I pressed my staff to the ground and lifted myself up.

“Close the door… Keep them safe…” I told them.

“Where are you going? You’re not in shape to fight…”

“I’m fine…” I answered. “Close the door…”

I walked through the hallway one step at a time. Each step was like a chore and I was constantly wobbling and bumping on the walls. It took me a while before I reach the stairs. I heard another shout coming from outside the building. It sounded like Claire.

I finally reached downstairs and saw a bloody mess on the first floor. Bodies of dog-like humanoid creatures were lying on the floor. There were also three human corpses alongside with them. I recognized one of the corpses. It was the Tracker and she’s full of stab wounds throughout her body.I felt a chill in my spine and vomited at the gruesome sight of the dead party members.

“Miguel? What the hell are you doing here?” Claire asked.

“I… uhmmm…”

Before I could join, I realized that the fight was already over. The others went back inside the building and like Claire, their bodies were stained by blood either by their own or their enemies. Some of them came back limping due to their wounds. Eric, Melissa and Dianne were alright but they too have suffered slight injuries from the fight.

The atmosphere was grim and the morale of the party was at its worse. Some of them were crying at the sight of their friends’ corpse. Indian Boy cried as he embraced Tracker’s lifeless body. I assumed that they were lovers. His cries echoed throughout the room. I couldn’t help but sympathize with him.

I didn’t know Tracker’s real name. I knew but I couldn’t remember. We didn’t speak to each other and our only interaction with each other was the interview. She’s an average looking girl, cheerful and very talkative in regards with her hobby. Although I didn’t know much about her, I felt quite sad that the girl I once knew was already gone. Even worse, I couldn’t remember her name or the others who died with her.

I fell down on my knees but Claire prevented me from falling completely.

“You need to rest.” She said. “We can handle this…”

“I can help…” I pushed her away as I tried to get up by myself.

“No, you can’t… Don’t be stubborn. Come on…” Claire took my left arm and helped me to stand up.

 I knew that with my condition, I’ll just be a burden to them and the only help that I could give to them was to do nothing and rest. I just couldn’t think straight when I saw Tracker’s corpse. Before we even made a step, a man grabbed me by my shoulders.

“We need your help…” Robert said as he pointed to the ones who were wounded.

“No... Miguel needs to rest right now.” Claire said to him.

“Let me help, Claire.”

“You’ve done enough. You need to rest.”

“Let me do this… Please.” I insisted.

Claire gritted her teeth as she helped me walk towards the injured. There were others who suffered scratches and slight injuries but knowing my current condition, they just covered up their wounds with cloths to prevent the bleeding and wait for their HP to recover.

There were two of them who have critical injuries. One has a stab wound in the chest while the other has his guts peaking from the wound of his belly.

I cast [Heal] on them. Since I couldn’t concentrate very well, I just cast it without focusing. My head was thumping like hell as I closed their wound. Their maximum HPs were low enough for me to heal them. I panted as my mana was once again drained. I didn’t gain +5 MP from it but the Mental Strain was taking a toll on my body.

“Alright, that’s enough…” Claire said as she helped me stand.

My knees were like jelly and I fell to the ground. Claire let out a sigh and rolled her eyes.

Even though I was heavy, Claire lifted me over her arms like a princess. She could’ve given me a piggyback ride like I did to her yesterday but no, she had to do a princess carry instead. If only I had the strength, I wouldn’t have let that happen. Alas, I was too weak to stand on my own and I couldn’t even move my fingers.

The others were staring at us as Claire carried me upstairs. My pride as a man took a huge blow. I know what most of you were thinking. It was okay since this must be the part where the main character of the story would get laid with the distressed damsel after saving her from a seemingly incurable disease.

We had party members who died from the attack that day so none of us were in the mood for sex. Obviously, it didn’t happen. After we reached the room, she put me down on my bed.

Claire told me to rest and not to leave the room even if we’re under attack. She also told me not to worry about anything and assured me that they can handle it on their own. She left the room without saying another word and closed the door.

All I can do now was to rest and to recover as fast as I can. She’s right though. No one really needed me except for my healing abilities. My magic was as useless as a blunt blade. From what I saw, they can handle it on their own.

Now that I was mentally strained, my one and last purpose was robbed from me. Being an absentee leader isn’t necessarily a bad thing but when the morale of the group is low and they’re grieving for the death of their friends, being absent is the last thing I want as a leader.

I closed my eyes and activated [Meditate] while I lay down on my bed. Surprisingly, it worked and activating the skill didn’t hurt my head. It actually gave me a relief from the pain. I wonder if the skill would still work if I’m sleeping.

After a few minutes, I felt that my consciousness was slowly slipping away. I heard a Ding sound as the skill deactivated when I fell asleep.

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Claire

“How is he?” Eric asked.

“He’s okay, I guess.” I replied. “He just needs some rest.”

“Thank god...” Eric looked down and breathed out heavily.

Dianne and Melissa were silently staring at Jacob as he cried at his dead girlfriend. Rhian was one of our teammates. Along with Jacob, we fought in the frontlines against the monsters. She was kind and cheerful as far as I know. She even gave me pads yesterday when she learned that I ran out.

Rhian liked photography and hiking. She told us stories about her trips in different parts of the country and how the endangered animals were being threatened with the continuous deforestation. I didn’t really care about how these animals were endangered. I only care about animals if they taste good. I wonder if the gnolls are delicious. I mean, I’ve eaten dog meat once and it tasted like beef. It’s really delicious.

Anyway, Rhian’s death was truly unfortunate. It was Samuel and Jacob’s watch when the attack happened. The gnolls came in groups when they stormed the building. We heard the commotion so we immediately went downstairs. The gnolls were pretty smart and much faster than the goblins. They surrounded the building and their archers used the vendor stalls as their cover.

Samuel was the first one to die when a gnoll archer hit him with an arrow in the head. When the gnolls broke in, we stood our ground and tried our best to push them back. Paul died when a gnoll’s spear got him in the neck while Rhian was repeatedly stabbed by a gnoll with a dagger.

When Jacob saw how his girlfriend died, his rage was almost unstoppable as he fought recklessly against the gnolls. We did our best to back him up and made our charge towards the gnolls. With my new skill [Wail of Agony], the gnolls whined in pain as they covered their ears. I finished them off with [Lacerating Strike] and let them bleed to death. It took us a while before we killed every last one.

As Jacob wept at Rhian’s corpse, I couldn’t help but feel happy that it wasn’t me. I felt bad about it but I couldn’t deny the fact that I was glad to be alive. The fact that I nearly died last night still gives me a chill. If it wasn’t for Miguel, I would’ve died already.

I went upstairs to check up on Miguel to see if he’s alright. I opened the door and sighed in relief as I heard his loud snores. When we were in the hardware store, I was tempted to smother him with a pillow because I couldn’t sleep well with his snoring. If someone was to hear him snoring, they would be convinced that it was a pig that had nasal problems and was probably being choked to death.

But right now, I was actually glad that to hear him snore. It’s a sign that he’s still alive and well. After he cured me of the disease, he fell unconscious with his eyes opened. All of us were freaked out and thought he was a goner. His eyes looked lifeless and empty as if he was a corpse. Even after we felt his pulse and his breathing, we all thought he was in some kind of coma that he wouldn’t be able to wake up.

As I watched Miguel in his deep sleep, I couldn’t help but smile as I reminisced on how I met him.

I first met him when we were first year college. I was late because I overslept and the alarm’s sound wasn’t enough to wake me up. My brother used to say that professors in college never cared if a student arrived late in their class so I took his advice and entered the classroom without saying a slightest greeting to the professor.

Obviously, I was wrong. Perhaps my brother was right about other professors but Professor Inigo was an exemption. She did care about punctuality and she’s mad about me being late. My classmates were staring at me and giggling while the professor humiliated me in front of the class. They were all laughing at me except for one man. The man who was sitting in the back didn’t even smile and he looked annoyed.

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

After I was scolded, Professor Inigo told me to take a seat. There were unoccupied seats in the front but I was disgusted by how the other boys looked at me as if I was a piece of juicy steak. Though it was normal for me to be stared at, I just couldn’t get used to it. The seat next to the silent man on the back was available so I took it.

As I took the seat next to the man, he looked surprised as if it was the first time he noticed my presence. I didn’t know what his problem was but he rolled his eyes in annoyance as he learned that I was going to take the seat next to him. Most boys would smile at me and be glad to be seated next to me but not him. No… if he had a choice to sit far away from me, he would do it.

As the class went on, the boys kept stealing glances at me. I looked at the man sitting next to me but it seemed that he’s too focused at the professor’s lecture. During the whole class, not even once, I caught him glancing at me. It’s like he’s pretending that the seat next to him was unoccupied. Of course, it pissed me off.

Normally, I’d be thankful to him for not being a bother but from his looks, he wasn’t even acknowledging that I existed. I angrily left the classroom and took a last look at him. He sighed deeply in relief as if thankful that I was gone for good. I didn’t know his problems with me but I was curious and mad at the same time.

The next day, I saw him in the back again but I didn’t sit next to him. I observed him from the distance and it seemed that everyone in the classroom didn’t want to be near him too. I asked one of my classmates about the man on the back. They said that the man was grumpy and annoyed at everyone who tried to sit next to him.

Days have passed and I finally get to know his name as the professor called him during one of the recitations. He was smart and he’s always getting the highest grade among us on quizzes and on exam. Miguel had an arrogant smirk on his face when the professor declared the result of the exam.

God, how I wished to wipe out that annoying smirk. At first, I thought he was cheating. Perhaps he had connections with the professors. I decided to fight dirty. I wasn’t proud of it but if that’s the way Miguel did it, I’d be glad to do anything just to crush his pride.

I tried to suck up with the professors but he still got the highest grade. One of the professors even offered me higher grades in exchange for sex. He didn’t say it directly but he was subtle with the offer. I wouldn’t get that low though. I could only imagine that arrogant bastard laughing at me. I may be a bitch but I wasn’t a slut.

I’ve graduated as a valedictorian in highschool and that man can easily crush all my hard work. My pride just couldn’t let that happen so I studied harder than ever. I spent more time in the library and I also noticed that Miguel was doing the same. I observed him as I took note of his study materials and his habits. He always spent his time in the library in his free time and leaves early at 4 p.m.. I used this as an opportunity to put extra effort for my studies in order to surpass him.

However, no matter how hard I study and tried, I couldn’t beat him. I knew that Miguel was aware that I was trying hard to best him but that arrogant look in his face was the greatest insult to my pride.

At last, there was one subject that I got higher grade than him. I confronted him about it and I couldn’t forget what he said: “Wait? So you’re actually proud that you got a higher grade than me in P.E.?” Miguel smirked at me and looked down on me. He’s got a point though. Both of us were accountancy students and P.E. was just a minor subject in our course.

I walked out in shame and frustration. I couldn’t accept the humiliation and defeat and I never gave up. That was the time I started to hate him.

I knew that grades aren’t the measure of intelligence and doesn’t really matter in real life. It could land me a decent first job for sure but grades are the measure of hard work and effort. Whether you cheated or did it the hard way, as long as there’s effort in your part, you can hold your head up high and be proud of yourself.

Those who say otherwise were those who were too optimistic and delusional that their lives cannot be measured by any standard. They didn’t realize that we’re living in a world where people try to measure every aspect of their lives and grades are one of the best examples.

As a last resort, I approached Miguel and asked him for help. I braced myself for another insult and humiliation from him but he helped me without a single trace of pity or contempt. I grinned to myself as I’ve found Miguel’s single flaw.

I took the opportunity and asked Miguel for more help in my studies. I hung out with him in the library every day and tried my best to be as nice as possible to him. I even asked him for his number and he was happy to give it and he seemed to be enthusiastic to help me. He must’ve thought that he could get into my pants by his actions. All men are the same and Miguel wasn’t an exception.

He even introduced me to his friends, Eric and Dianne. I couldn’t believe how such an arrogant prick could manage to have friends. Eric was a typical jock. Handsome, gentle but a huge idiot while Dianne was a shy girl and have a low self-esteem. I put on my game face and became nice to them.

I admit that I was a terrible person but Dianne became my best friend. Although she’s naive like Eric, she’s sweet and genuinely kind. She told me a lot about Miguel’s personality and his habits which I used to further my goal. I was too obsessed at the idea of surpassing him.

From her story, Miguel didn’t seem to be the guy she claimed to be. She told me that Miguel was a kind of person that would do everything to help his friends. I didn’t believe it obviously. There’s no way that he’s that kind of person.

I also talked to Eric about Miguel. He said that Miguel has a tendency of being grumpy and say very critical things to other people but still he cared deeply for his friends. It made me to think that perhaps Miguel brainwashed his friends' minds.

One time, I asked Miguel about why he hung out with people like Eric and Dianne. I told him my first impression of him that he was more of a loner type of a person than a social animal with cool and popular friends. He said: “Hanging out with an idiot makes me feel smarter.” This asshole didn’t even have the decency to hide his ugly self from others.

A week before the mid-term exams, I asked Miguel to study with me in the library as usual. The sucker agreed and smiled. I asked him for all of his review materials and he agreed to share them with me. As we studied, we talked about all possible topics that may appear on the exam. He also asked me some questions about the subject we’re studying. Apparently, there were some things that he didn’t know. Of course, I answered all of his questions.

Not all of them were correct though. I planted some wrong answers with correct ones just to make sure he’ll get some of the questions wrong. A dirty move but the douche seemed to believe everything I said. That time I was trying my best to suppress my laughter as he looked confused with my answers. I could already feel his pride being crushed beneath my feet.

On the day of the exams, I was shocked that most of the questions and problems were discussed in Miguel’s review materials. I was overjoyed that my grueling study session with Miguel was worth it. Also, some of the questions were the ones that Miguel asked me about. I was pretty sure that he’ll get those questions wrong.

When the results came, I was nervous and excited at the same time. It was a departmental exam for basic accounting subject so the results were posted in the bulletin board for everyone to see. I looked at the results and Miguel ended up in the first place and I was the second.

I should’ve felt prouder since I was only in ninth place in the last exam but being second place and just one small step from the top was the worst feeling in the world. Not to mention it was my greatest enemy on the top.

I turned my head and saw Miguel staring at the bulletin board with the same arrogant smirking face. My other classmates saw the results and congratulated me. Miguel approached me to offer a hand shake to congratulate me. I was so angry that I grabbed Miguel’s arm and dragged him to a corner where we can have a ‘chat’ in private. He didn’t try to resist and kept his smirk as the others teased us.

Before I could speak, Miguel told me that he already knew that I was intentionally giving him wrong info when we studied and he just went along with it and acted as if he believed it. I wanted to punch him in the face and beat him to a pulp but that would make me lose my scholarship. I asked him why he didn’t say anything and most important of all, why did he help me.

Miguel narrowed his eyes and smirked. He brought his face closer and whispered: “No matter how hard you try and no matter how many professors’ dicks you suck, I will always be one step ahead of you.”

What he said made me hate him more. I realized that I was the idiot he’s talking about when he said that he liked to hang out with one to make him feel smarter. He was different from all of them. It was like the heavens sent him just to spite me. I was wrong to underestimate him. He saw through all of my deception and I failed to see his.

Since that day, we’ve been passively aggressive with each other. We’ve been throwing insults to each other like there’s no tomorrow. I still hung out with Miguel and his friends and it was fine with him. At first, Eric and Dianne were shocked on how we fought and tried to reconcile our irreconcilable difference but in time, they learned to ignore our aggressiveness to each other and act as if it was normal.

I didn’t exactly know how we stayed that way and how it didn’t become a full blown and violent war. As far as I know, I enjoyed it.

All my life, I’ve been trying to wear an image of a perfect girl who excelled at everything; a perfect girl who’s kind, cheerful, pretty, smart and in every man’s dream. I felt free from the burden of this heavy mask and Miguel was my catharsis. I never wished him to be dead. In fact, he’s gone then I will be back what I was once. I respected him but I still hated him.

When the apocalypse happened, I started to see Miguel differently. It seemed that Dianne was right but I refused to believe it. I knew him personally. He’s smart and very manipulative. I was sure that he’ll throw us into a den of wolves just to save himself or so I thought.

Again, I was proven wrong with each day passing by. He saved everyone and showed that he really cared about his friends. I was beginning to believe it but when he started to boss everyone around back in the PolSci building, I thought that all of it was part of his ploy to gain our confidence.

I realized that I was just envious of him about how he could do pretty much everything and I couldn't do anything. What I said was unfair and I never gave him the benefit of a doubt so I apologized to him. I didn't know why I was blushing but the atmosphere between us was too awkward.

Last night when I was bitten by a zombie, I thought I was really going to die. He alone stayed by my side and did everything to save me. All of my doubts about his sincerity were erased. My enemy gave me comfort and took care of me. He promised me not to let me die.

Whatever he did last night, not only he poured mana but he also poured some of his memories inside me; his moments of triumph and defeat, joys and sorrows, love and hatred and all the emotions he felt. I was screaming in pain when all of the information was jacked into my head. I felt like my brain was going to explode at any moment and my soul was getting torn to pieces.

I didn’t sleep last night. Not because I thought Miguel was in coma but because of what I’ve seen. I could still remember everything I saw from his eyes. It was like seeing a world without a touch of color; like watching an old film.

Miguel believed that he was an awful person and uncaring. However, all of his thoughts and actions betrayed him. Sure, he’s not perfect. I knew that he once planned to leave us when he finds a better party but that’s because he has trust issues.

I also knew that he loves me. He was just confused about it and didn’t want to get hurt.

I’ve always believed that Miguel was like me: A terrible person hiding beneath a mask of kindness but he was the opposite. He’s a caring person hiding beneath an ugly mask to protect himself from the harsh reality.

When I saw some of his painful memories, I wanted to give him some relief but he was denser than a rock and chose to have his “Sacred Relic” to jerk himself off instead of me. It was very tempting to punch him but luckily, I found my restraint and I remembered that I have my period today.

I figured that what I was going to do was wrong. I wasn’t even sure if I feel the same way about him. Miguel deserved a better person and I knew that I wasn’t the one he truly deserves.

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Author's note: Another boring chapter. Please bear with me. Don't worry though, there will be a lot of action next chapter and of course, some progress...