Chapter 20: Ten for Ten

I stared at my Numbered as she suggested adding a new number. She paused and waited for my response, giving no hint of how I should react. The way she phrased it and the look on her face seemed more genuine than most smiles she'd given me so far. As if she honestly expected me to be happy with her.

Not only did she think I would be happy, but it seemed she was happy as well. Was it because she would be getting another Numbered to share the load? Or was it that she thought it was honestly good for the candidate she was suggesting. Or was it just good for me? Did she have my best interest at heart?

I stared at her for a handful of seconds before I realized I needed to do something. Otherwise, it was going to be very awkward. So, I kept my face neutral, as a delayed smile might be more suspicious, and said, "Tell me about her."

"Well, like all of us," Four started, "she is incredibly broken. But she has something she wants, something to motivate her, and something you can give her."

I nodded impassively. Four continued to try to sell the girl. "Of course. She's also beautiful. And has skills that we could use. I think she could fit right in and make a good Ten. Her name is something she chose herself, so she doesn't have the same attachment to it as most of us did."

At this point, nothing really could surprise me, but I wanted to interject, "One doesn't even know what her name used to be."

Four nodded. "That's true, but One is special in many ways. She was with you first when you were a lot harsher. I think she gave up a lot more than anyone really knows, more than most of us did. It's hard to say as she refuses to talk to any of us about the time before Two."

"Harsher than I am now, or than when I recruited you?" I asked, honestly curious about her perspective. It seemed as if she was telling me that there might be an opening for me to inquire about it. As if, for the moment, the normal protocol had been set aside in the wake of victory. There hadn't been enough alone time with One to really get all the information out of her yet.

"Both? I'd say you've mellowed a bit since I joined and became Four, but only recently have I been seeing how much. I've been too focused on my students, I think, to do my job properly," Four explained.

I waved my hand dismissively. "Teaching is your job."

Four shook her head emphatically. "No. Teaching is my passion. It's what I do when I'm not on duty. This," she gestured to all of us, "This. This is the job. I am Four."

She was decisive about this. Her tone, especially when she said, "I am Four," when she repeated it to emphasize it, seemed like it gave her purpose, gave her an identity. It wasn't the same way as One was One and needed my validation. But Four didn't seem to regret being Four at all, even if she was scared of me for a while. She seemed less so now.

I thought about this a bit more as we lapsed into silence. Eventually, I broke the pause, "I have mellowed a lot, and recently, a few things may have changed," I admitted.

Four nodded. "One said something along those lines, but she wouldn't give me any more details."

I nodded. I pursed my lips. "Yes. She wouldn't, would she?"

But I didn't elaborate too much more, and four didn't press me, so I steered the conversation back towards the uncomfortable thing I was trying to avoid. "But do I need a Ten? Is nine, not enough numbered?"

Four looked at me, confused. "You don't want to grow our family?"

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Family. That was the first time I'd ever heard any of my numbers refer to that. Perhaps that was more of a common thing. I've always called them by their number; One had never told me that I called them family. I raised my eyebrow at Four. She actually blushed. "Sorry. I mean, the Numbered."

"Family. Is that how you think of it?"

She nodded shyly. "Yeah. I know I'm probably not supposed to say it, but it seems like the Numbered are my sisters. We squabble; we have our ins and outs, but like family, we didn't choose each other. But we're here, and we live with each other, and we support each other in everything. So, a family."

"Most people think that not choosing your family is one of its great downsides," I said.

Four shrugged. "I wouldn't know, but it seems great to me. It taught me how to live with so many different people. I wouldn't have chosen many of these, like Five, but I love her just the same."

"Is this a common opinion amongst you?" I asked before I could stop myself. I honestly had no idea.

Four shook her head. "No. Maybe?" she said. "I think some of us feel this way, and some of us are a little more competitive for your attention."

"Like One?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulder. "One is One. She always gets what she wants."

"Okay. Well," I said, "I'm not sure about a tenth. If I need a Ten, maybe, but, well, I suppose the least I can do is talk with her."

Ford nodded and smiled. "Excellent. I'll set up interviews."

Interviews. The way she said that made it sound like there's more than One. But I couldn't think of a way to tell her no. Maybe I could see if I could fix this girl's issues without ever making her Ten. It seemed like something I had said I would stop doing, and I'd fully intended to keep that promise. But I needed to know what the issue was first. I let it drop, figuring it was something I could take care of later. And I just added it to the ever-growing list of things I needed to talk to One about. I really hoped I could get more of the numbers in on my secret because it'd be so much more convenient.

Both One and Nine were still sleeping, and Four and I seemed to have settled down after one of the longest conversations I've ever had with anyone besides One. I felt like I actually knew four. I liked Four. Four was badass, and I really wanted to spend more time with her. Both to get to know her better and hopefully find a way that I could let her in on my secret. She would be just as helpful as One in many ways, in my opinion, sometimes more so, as One was rather enigmatic.

Four leaned up against the carriage away from me and rested her head on the padded wall while closing her eyes. I couldn't tell if she had gone to sleep, but I wasn't about to disturb her more. I did. I closed my eyes as well, but I couldn't sleep yet. The adrenaline from the last couple of days and the excitement still kept me going a little bit, even as I felt it ebbing.

Reaching out with my senses, I felt the filaments of shadow all throughout the carriage and pulled on them, tugged them around, and just practiced my magical control. It's something I was supposed to be good at and something I would become good at again. Honestly, I enjoyed it. It was soothing, a little tiring, but satisfying. I could do little more than move them around like strands, but I felt so much more potential.

I felt like I could feel the connections and get a sensation back from them, but it was just the barest hint. I could send energy through them, but it didn't seem to do anything. Perhaps it needed to be done in certain patterns to create certain effects, but I didn't have time to experiment with them.

I reached out and brushed the tip of One's nose with the shadow, not particularly trying to wake her but just curious how it reacted with people. Surprisingly, I felt something hidden deep inside her. An answering call of magic, but nothing to do with shadows. I felt a personal connection and a flicker of color around her before it faded. I repeated it several times but was unable to bridge that connection again and feel the nature of her power.

Huh. I went over to try with Nine as well, but when I brushed her face with the tendril of shadow, she jerked awake and looked around frantically. She met my eyes and cocked her head in a question, and I nodded my head slightly in apology. She just rolled her eyes in a very uncharacteristic gesture of casualness and leaned back again. I was glad Nine was willing to relax around me from that first terrifying encounter we had. I was never quite sure what to make of her, but now I think I'd call her a friend.

Ending my experimentation, I closed my eyes again and slouched a little bit in my seat. Attempting to empty my mind of everything and stop replaying the king's death in my head that had been on a loop for the past several hours. It was a struggle, but slowly, the world faded away, and I drifted into a dream that I had been anticipating for some time now.