“No. No. No. Dear Fates, was I drunk when I bought this?”

Fiona was trying her best to keep her cool, while Bonnie was busy trying to slow her down in her walk-in closet. A stack of dresses, armor, cute shirts and matching leggings were also stacked up in an increasingly large pile, and Fiona was fuming. “Why did I do this? Why did I commit to a date? I’m about to land a giant dose of humiliation on that pasty-faced dweeb in the palace! I have nothing to wear!”

Bonnie remained unconvinced, her hat now sitting hung up on a stand and her ears were flattened. “Girl, you take on monsters, a douchebag king, a possibly traumatic transmigration event to get to Cepaluna, and I have never seen you panic. You are panicking, which is, quite honestly, something I didn’t expect to see.”

“I’m not panicking!” She said it a little too loudly, and a little too high strung. Bonnie wore a wry smirk on her muzzle.

“Well I found your one weakness, Fi. Blind dates!” She rubbed her clawed hands together, even as she peered at the various outfits lining the shelf. “Now, let me tell you, I’ve done a blind date exactly once. It wasn’t that bad!”

“Wait, you have? Who?” Fiona asked while she looked at a salmon colored dress with a low back, and a shawl to accommodate it. She frowned at it and threw it into the reject pile, and let out a sigh. “Too much red. My hair is so red! I can’t wear red with red!”

“You have the reddest hair I’ve ever seen,” Bonnie chuckled. “You said you were very plain looking before.”

“I kept the green eyes and the facial features. I still look like a dead ringer for my mom, mostly,” she explained, and looked warily at a dress with a front opening that plunged further down than she was brave enough to wear. “I was also as flat as a washboard, and I tended to uh…slip out of dresses.”

Bonnie glanced down and sighed contentedly, then looked back at her with a warm smile. “Girl, you’re fine! You’re a mean, lean, fighting machine! Besides, I prefer when people appreciate me more for my luxurious red fur and athletics, rather than any other assets!”

“You mean, like your hat?” Fiona said with a smirk.

“Sure, Fiona. The hat is the biggest asset,” Bonnie laughed, and put a finger up in the air as if an idea struck her. “You should wear one!”

“Yeah, nah. This hair has a mind of its own, Bonnie.” She pushed a few wavy strands out of her face and eyed another dress-bright green, and more modest. “Ooh. I like this one! Green to match the eyes!”

“And with that shawl, and these shoes…” Bonnie trailed off, her tail wagging back and forth as she browsed through the accessories, before coming back with a set. Fiona let out a sound of disgust.

“No, I hate those shoes. I feel like I’m standing on stilts, and I’m no longer short, thanks.”

“Sheesh, what other upgrades did you get on your trip to Cepalune?” Bonnie asked.

“I mean I became an elf. What’s not to love?” Fiona shrugged. “But what’s weird is that I’m still mostly myself. So I didn’t have an existential crisis. What if I woke up as a lizard?”

“Don’t let Jarl hear that,” Bonnie cautioned, “or the lovely wife of his who treats you like an adopted daughter!”

“Alright, fine, a slime girl, then!” Fiona huffed, then frowned, and glanced at Wingding. An idea came to mind.

A very strange idea. “What if I became an elf, because Feo’thari was an elven goddess?”

“Uh…what?” Bonne scratched an ear as she rummaged for another set of shoes. “Fiona, you have to focus on your date.”

“Okay, okay, fine. I can multitask, Bonnie.”

“Not with the way you’re freaking out about not having anything to wear. I might have to go talk to Greg about putting you into a panic mode over a question no man should ever ask a lady,” Bonnie fumed. She browsed through the shoes while Fiona went through the pile of discarded clothes.

After a second glance through, she twisted her lip into a smile. “Hey, what about this cute green shirt and this jacket?”

“Hmm. Let me look.” Bonnie’s blue eyes gleamed with delight as she grabbed another pair of shoes, with a shorter heel, and something that Fiona could stand to have more of in her closet.

If only she wasn’t watching her spending, so that Barry didn’t find out her days of being a spendthrift were slowly fading. She looked at the shoes Bonnie wagged back and forth gently. “Sold, to the lovely vixen with better fashion taste than me!”

“So, did Darla hint at who it is?” Fiona shook her head, while she got the shirt, jacket, and skirt on, plus some leggings since the temperature was getting downright chilly in the evenings.

“Not a peep from our darling darkling. I hope it’s not someone I know.”

Bonnie scoffed at that. “Fi, you’ve made the biggest splash this side of Cepalune with some of your heroics! And then you opened a store to great fanfare, along with myself and Greg! I’m pretty sure people are going to know you.”

“Yes! From ye old newsprints, but not the real me!” she added with a tap on her chest for emphasis. It felt weird to get anxious about something like this. Billy had been a mutual acquaintance she’d met at the guild, and then one dragon snacking session later, she was single again. He’d run off with the dragon who’d tried to kill him!

He must have been lying about it to save face, and the thought left her ears twitching at this simmering anger. “I just want people to see me as Fiona, the weird shopkeeper who’s fun to be around! Or Fiona, the taxman’s nemesis! Or just Fiona, the girl who likes to bake cupcakes.”

“You bake?”

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

“You know it! Not as good as Darla, but I bake!” she said proudly, after affixing the jacket, and buttoning it up to look stylish. One trip to the vanity and brushing her hair back, and a little bit of lipgloss, and she grinned. “Now I know how to cook!”

“Oh my gods, Fiona,” Bonnie groaned, while also trying to not giggle, “If Earth isn’t a smoldering heap of wreckage, I’ll take a dozen more of you! This action may or may not result in Barry having a seizure.”

“You should come with Greg!” Fiona suggested, and Bonnie froze.

“W-what, like a double date?”

“Well, yeah!”

“Uh…”Bonnie pondered it for a second, putting a finger to her lips. “Tell ya what, get this guy to survive round one, and then we’ll do that.”

****** ******

You have got to be kidding me. It’s like you know my favorite places before I do, Fiona thought with a beaming smile as she spied the place where Darla told her to meet–a place just like Jarl’s, but with a more European feel, with a warm color palette, and the smell of freshly cooked fish and fried tubers.

Fish and chips. She didn’t realize how much she missed that tantalizing scent as she walked in the door and approached the hostess at the counter, a wolven with short grey fur, a few adorable piercings in both ears, and golden eyes. She gave her a smile and nodded politely. “Welcome to the Grill on the Lake. Do you have a reservation?”

“Uh, I’m supposed to meet someone. It’s a blind date, my friend Darla arranged it,” she asked as she twisted her purse around her wrist gently.

It was a date. She’d been on dates. Why was she feeling so anxious about this? Was it because she wasn’t with her normal crew of friends and business partners? She still couldn’t quite get a read on the why. Jitters were normal.

The hostess thumbed through a paper list and tapped it gently. “Ah, Miss Swiftheart, right? Table fifteen, over on the right. I guess the other person hasn’t shown up yet. I didn’t get a name, just a table number for reservation.”

“Alright, no worries! I’m a little early, so, it’s all good!” The hostess led the anxious elf to her table, where a small basket of seasoned breadsticks was already there, with a helping of butter.

Fifteen minutes later, the basket was gone, and Fiona wasn’t in any less of a snacky mood, while she looked at her arcane relay. This guy was now fashionably late. Another five minutes, and he was going to be late, late.

She hoped this guy didn’t figure out the hero of Fiefdala was her date. Then again, it wouldn’t be hard to deduct, if he knew Darla and who she worked with on a routine basis. It was somewhat ironic that now she wanted a modicum of obscurity when everything else in her life was the exact opposite.

Make up mind. Wingding had chimed in with her message, and Fiona rolled her eyes.

“Yep, it’s official. My teenage mark is calling me out for mixed feelings,” she muttered. She glanced at the fancy booth that was uncomfortably empty, and she was surprised no one had picked her out, yet.

At least Darla had described the guy. She told her he was a semi-regular at the shop, but didn’t know his last name, and that he had black hair, green eyes, and a slender face. She wasn’t disappointed when he strolled up a minute later, and was adorkably overdressed, with a jacket and a tie. Not as fashionable as her ties, but close enough that she couldn’t help but feel flattered.

“Greetings–” he trailed off, and his eyes went wide, hand frozen mid-motion. “Uh…I think I’m at the wrong restaurant.”

“What gave you that indication?” she asked coyly while twirling her hair around a finger.

“The notion that the hero of Fiefdala was my dinner date, might have been a clue” He quickly snapped out of his trance and finished extending his hand, an anxious smile crossing his face. “I’m Theo Rovarin. I work with one of the banks down over at Hall Street.”

“Not my bank, right?” She still hadn’t forgiven them for nearly locking her account out, and likely under orders from Barry, or one of his patsies.

“No, I work with one of the banks that runs exchanges throughout the Unified Kingdoms and several other large territories. We’re quite big, North Cepalune Financial Strategies. We deal in–ah, listen to me talk about work, we’re on a date,” he sighed, and ran his fingers through his wavy hair

“Been a while, huh?” she teased and motioned for him to sit down. “So, how’d you meet Darla?”

“Well I’m a sucker for coffee, and Darla’s has the best around. She’s got a new girl covering her primary shop, and I think she just opened up in your emporium. I think I only dropped by a time or two. Anyway, I go a few times a week, head to work, sometimes indulge, and grab one in the afternoon, after work. After we got chatted for a while, she mentioned someone was looking for a date,” he added proudly, having relaxed and his words weren’t gushing out.

“Darla’s coffee is to die for. What’s your favorite drink there?” she asked, testing him.

“Uh…mocha blonde. I know, it’s an old-school one, but I’ve loved it since I was a teen and did my training in the merchant’s guild. You?”

“The Frozen Emperor is a favorite of mine. It’s a little indulgent, but she makes it absolute perfection!”

“Hah, I know that one. I tried it once, but even for it it’s a bit sweet. So, I kinda have a feel for what you do…” he trailed off. “I mean, I think I do. I just read the newspaper, and you were in it for a spell.”

“Bah, tabloid shenanigans! The real me is less heroic, more insecure, and a little more manic!” she leaned in; he was kinda cute. Nerdy, but cute. “Does Darla talk about all her friends?”

“She loves to talk shop! I think she’s a secret matchmaker for many people,” he added while looking rather shy all of a sudden. “What made you go from a heroic adventurer, to a merchant?”

“Oh that one’s…a little complicated,” she sighed. “I had some stuff to take care of, and a large inventory of treasure to get rid of. I mean I ran a store before this, adventuring was a bend in the road!”

A cosmic level bend in the road, mind you, she thought silently. “So, what do you do? Count coins all day and laugh?”

“Nah, that’s several floors above me,” he laughed softly. “I make a decent living. I’m good with numbers. Not as good as your Gregory, maybe, but I am good at also finding opportunities. And fraud.”

“Wait. What do you mean fraud?”

He pulled out a gold coin from his pocket, pinching it with both fingers and looking at it intensely. “So, my mark as an accountant lets me figure out the worth of things. It’s good when you have different currencies and need to run exchange rates, and we have arcane relays to speed up the process. But my mark keeps telling me this thing here, doesn’t have as much value as it should have.” He then showed it to her. “It’s work…but, I like solving puzzles like this. It looks like gold, has all the consistency of gold, and even has that little protection against tampering like cutting the coins to see what’s inside. All baked into a ten gold CSG coin. So either my mark is wrong, or someone made a really good fake.”

“Well, this is a little oddity!” She looked at the gold and saw nothing to indicate anything was out of the ordinary. “This isn’t gonna be one of those hand buzzer things that ruin dates and leave future girlfriends in a murderous mood, is it?”

“Well, no. My hobbies involve hiking up in the mountains up north on weekends. I have a dragon friend who tells me I waste all that time climbing when I should hitch a ride! I tell her, that’s not the point!”

“I know a dragon like that,” she said calmly. Doug really was all business, and despite their initial meeting, he wasn't a terrible person. “They’re all so serious, to a fault!”

“Eh, Maritza is the coolest Aurelian dragon I know! She only dates other dragons but is more than willing to morph to a human form and do laps around me on the cliff face. Built-in climbing hooks,” he added with a huff, Fiona giggled at that.

“Hang on, let me see that coin. I want to see if I can do what the dragons do, they can spot a fake anywhere.”

“Not Martiza! She told me it was real! Who’d have thought it? Maybe you can tell me something, Darla mentioned you got this thing for gold.”

“Yeah, I can–”

The coin felt cold and heavy in her hand. Her sense of curiosity instantly spiked. She hefted the coin up and down, and then, flicked it with her finger.

It did not meteor upwards like it normally would and only rose a few feet before she caught it in her hand. She stared at it as her powers failed to activate on it.

“Theo? This might be the best fake I’ve ever seen.”