I stepped outside and stood there, looking at a hallway that stretched out like a jagged scar in the earth, its walls uneven and damp, carved from dark stone that seemed to drink in the faint light of the bioluminescent mushrooms. The mushrooms were clustered in irregular patches, their faint blue glow giving just enough illumination to show the path ahead—and the unsettling shadows it cast on the jagged walls.

The air was stale, like that of a room that hasn’t been opened in a while, and a faint metallic odor completed the feeling of being in a place deep underground. “Where in the world is this…” I whispered, my voice echoing down the hallway.

Water dripped somewhere in the distance, the slow, rhythmic plink breaking the oppressive silence. The stone beneath my feet was smooth in some places, as if many other had walked this place before me, but other sections jutted out with cruel, sharp edges, making it easy to trip and fall if you were not paying attention.

As I walked, my steps echoed around me and as I looked back and noticed that I could no longer see the room I had come from, I realized that the hallway was curving to the left. As I absentmindedly moved through the stone, I came to a bigger cave with three distinct openings. One seemed to go deeper into the cave while another seemed to go up. Both even had the faint shape of steps carved into them.

There was only one that looked like it stayed in my same level. I sat on a rock and pulled out my PDA. “Hey, Sam.” I wrote. “What floor are you in?”

Sam took a short while to answer. “Where can I check that?” She asked.

I realized I only knew what floor I was in because I had asked, if she hadn’t maybe there wasn’t a way of knowing. But no, that would be too stupid, no one would design a system like that. I opened the Map App (Called Cartogrid) and realized that, sure enough, above a rough black and white sketch of the path I’d followed until now, you could see the Section, Floor and Biome you were in. “Check the map app.” I said.

After a few seconds, I got my answer. “It says Sector 14, Floor 84, Fungal Fortress Biome.” I smiled.

“Cool, we are in the same floor and section.” I wrote. “It shouldn’t be that difficult to find you then.”

“But…” She started. “But what if these sections are huge?”

I gulped. “We will cross that building when we come to it. For now, I will keep on moving, wait tight.”

I looked around me at the open cavern. Different from the hallway before it, this cave had larger flora. Strange plants that seemed to sway on an invisible breeze as they shone with weak bioluminescence. In the deep silence of the cave, I also realized the cave was a lot more alive than I first thought. The occasional scuttling noise echoed from somewhere far off, the faint shuffle of claws against stone. Every now and then, I swore I heard a distant chittering, a guttural growl, or something that sounded disturbingly like laughter, but nothing of that mattered much right now, I needed to keep on moving.

I decided to walk down one of the steps instead of walking into the hallway that seemed to continue to where I needed to go. Before moving, I needed to check something. I looked at the PDA as I walked and, sure enough, every 15 meters or so, a blip showed in the map app and the mapp updated, showing what I had walked in that time, and as I walked down this downward hallway, I noticed another change “Sector 14, Floor 85, Fungal Fortress Biome”.

The floor had changed. This meant that, surely, if I stayed using hallways that didn’t move upwards or downwards, I would eventually find Sam.

I placed the PDA back in my backpack and grabbed another handful of popcorn to bite on my way back.

I had barely walked into the large opening I had been in before when I heard it: a faint skittering, just on the edge of my hearing, closer than before. I froze, my breath caught in my throat. It sounded… wet, like someone dragging a mop across stone. Slowly, I turned the corner.

That’s when I saw it.

It was human-shaped, in the loosest sense of the word. Two scrawny, misshapen legs held up a torso covered in shiny black carapace, with four segmented arms clinging to a crooked stick. Its head was the worst part—bulging compound eyes and twitching antennae framed a mouth that clicked with rhythmic intensity, like it was eager to bite into something. Or someone.

“Of course,” I muttered under my breath. “Why wouldn’t the first thing I fight be a goddamn Gregor Samsa on steroids?”

It saw me, those eyes locking on like a spotlight, and let out a high-pitched chitter before breaking into a gangly sprint. My stomach lurched as it closed the distance, raising its stick like some kind of medieval knight charging into battle. Except this knight was armed with nothing but splinters.

I didn’t wait to see what it could do. When it swung the stick at my head, I ducked low trying to remember my old boxing classes. I twisted to the side and aimed a punch at its torso in a poor man’s imitation of a straight. My fist connected with a crack.

For a fraction of a second I feared it was my hand that had broken but as the creature staggered back, its thin legs skittering for balance, I realized that it wasn’t me who was hurting, which was encouraging.

It screeched and came at me again, this time throwing a handful of pebbles from a bag on its waist with its free hand. I raised my arm instinctively, feeling a few sharp stings as the rocks bounced off me. “Oh, you little—”

Before it could swing again, I lunged forward, grabbing the stick with one hand and yanking it free from its claws. As ugly and scary as it was, it was surprisingly weak. The roach recoiled, clicking angrily as it reached for its bag, but I wasn’t about to let it throw pebbles at me again. I swung the stick with everything I had, and it hit the creature’s head with a sickening crack. Black ichor sprayed onto the stone floor (and me, to my utter dismay), and the cockroach staggered back, its thin legs skittering as it fought for balance.

It gurgled as it fell backwards, the sound of someone chocking in its own vomit, and reflexively hurled a handful of pebbles it had in its hand, missing me completely.

“You’re disgusting and annoying,” I muttered, stepping back as it fell and twitched violently on the ground, its legs spasming as it tried to stand up. “Please tell me this is over.”

The roach refused to give in and dragged itself upright, its head falling over and dangling from a thin yellowing string. “Ah, yes… roaches.” I said, hitting it again with the stick, this time on its torso, knocking to the ground once more. I raised the stick and plunged it into the place where my fist had cracked its carapace, using both my hands to pierce it through.

I stared at the quivering bug on the ground, ichor pooling beneath its broken body. The air was thick with the sickly-sweet smell of whatever was leaking out of it, and I swallowed hard, trying not to gag. I pulled out the stick, now black with ichor and picked up the beast’s pouch, which had fallen down during its second fall.

The PDA dinged cheerfully, oblivious to the fact that I was standing over something I’d just murdered with a stick. I stepped back and took it out of my backpack. I glanced down at the screen, where a message popped up:

Congratulations! You have defeated a Level 1 Cockroach Foot-Soldier!

+5 Experience.

Item: Stick (Common) added to inventory.

Pouch (Common) added to inventory.

I stared at the message, then at the corpse leaking bug juice onto the stone floor. “Well that’s a way to show your Christmas spirit...” I grumbled, wiping my hands on my pajama pants.

I tied the pouch securely around my waist placing the PDA in it where it would be easier to reach and adjusted my backpack. “First fight, first loot. Not bad for a guy in Christmas pajamas,” I muttered, trying to ignore the knot in my stomach.

The hallway ahead stretched into darkness, the faint glow of mushrooms barely touching the edges of the path. Somewhere in that gloom, Sam was waiting.

Gripping my stick like it was a legendary weapon, I took my first step into the unknown.