When Blemish finally began to wake up, he didn’t lift his head. The mask over his face helped to control his breathing, and it allowed him to focus. He felt naked and bare without it. As he blinked a few times to rub the sleep from his eyes, he sat up and winced.
“OW!” He cried.
But he stopped himself from saying more. Acknowledging pain was weakness…giving in to pain was sinful…and Blemish was sinful. Always a sin.
“You are a blemish on this world, boy.” The words were etched on his soul. “Your very existence is an affront to God. In His mercy, you are shown clemency and the chance to right your families sins through your deeds. You will serve. You will spy. You will slaughter. In serving the Lord, you will receive salvation from your sins that separate you from His chosen.”
“I am sin…I am a blemish.” Blemish whispered softly as he breathed out the agony he felt in his side. “I have a mission.” He started to get to his feet when he suddenly realized that his body was naked! He jumped back, and felt the wooden table under him. He was laying on a table, and there were bandages on his side and shoulder. He rubbed the dressings and cringed at the pain, but held back his cry. It was seemly to cry. You were struck when you cried…you were spat on when you begged for forgiveness…for mercy.
“Your begging is unsightly. How dare you presume to be forgiven when your sin is marked upon your very blood! God has offered you the chance to earn your salvation and you would dare beg for more!?”
Blemish dried his eyes and tried again to sit up, searching the cabin around him for his armor, and holding up his chipped mask to hide his face.
“You’re awake!”
Blemish spun around to see an elf girl standing not far away, holding a bucket of what seemed to be water. Blemish didn’t answer her, but kept his body covered by a sheet.
“We were starting to worry. You’d been out for a few days.”
“D-days?” Blemish whispered in surprise.
“Here,” she set the bucket down, “for you to drink. I’ll tell Titania you’re up. You can…you can take off your mask if you like. I’ve already seen your face.” Blemish shook his head.
“I want it on.” He answered shortly.
“Okay, I didn’t mean to offend. I’ll be right back…oh! I’m Meriel by the way. I…well um…”
“…What is it?” Blemish asked.
“I wanted to thank you for breaking me and my mom out of Jessai’s jail.” She gave a polite bow and Blemish gazed at her curiously as she hurried off to find Titania. He thought back and vaguely remembered something about that. Yeah, there were two elf women who had told him where Jessai was and, in exchange, he gave them a key. Was he glad to see her? Maybe a little…he hadn’t thought much about it since that night. His mind drifted to the water bucket at his feet and he reached down to get it. Gently, Blemish removed his mask and began to drink the water. His parched tongue moaned with joy as the relief met his throat. He pressed his mouth to the bucket, suckling down water rapidly and with immense thirst. As he drank, he heard footsteps and swiftly put down the bucket, putting on his mask again.
From the front door walked Titania. He remembered her face vaguely and the single black horn on her forehead. Blemish had met ogres before…killed a few too at the demand of the Inquisition. They were fierce, violent, and ruthless warriors. When angry they grew an extra set of horns and entered an adrenaline rush which made them even more terrifying. He’d experienced them…he’d slain them anyway. But he’d never met someone like Titania. She didn’t act like other ogres…she seemed so gentle and friendly. Her smile was confusing to Blemish. It felt…natural to him. It wasn’t forced nor was it malicious and hateful. She seemed…glad to see him. Really glad.
“How’re you feeling?” She asked.
“I’ll be fine.” Blemish answered.
“I know that.” Titania giggled. “But that’s not what I asked. How are you feeling?” How was he feeling? Blemish had never been asked that before. How did he feel?
“I…don’t know…” he replied shortly. Was he happy he was alive? Yes, that is correct. He was alive…but so was Jessai, and that made him angry. Jessai needed to die or the Inquisition would be angry at him…and that made him afraid. But not only that, he was confused! An ogress had saved his life? Why? Happy. Angry. Scared. Confused. Which of these was he? He didn’t know how to rationalize it…so he simply couldn’t answer the question. It was too much to process in one sitting. Titania walked close and knelt down so their faces were only a about two feet apart.
“Would you mind taking off your mask for me?” She asked.
“No…no I can’t.” Blemish answered.
“I’ve seen your face…it’s not a surprise to me.” Titania explained.
“I can’t take it off…I’m supposed to hide my face.” He answered. “The Watcher said so.”
“…The Watcher isn’t here.” Titania sighed.
“…God is always watching.” Blemish answered. Titania smiled gently and walked to the other side of the room. She went to a small chest and opened it, pulling out a book with leather bindings and held it out so Blemish could hold it. Blemish took the book and his eyes widened behind his mask.
“A Bible!?” He gasped. “You have a Bible?!”
“I’ve had once since before the Cataclysm.” Titania answered. “I read it a lot…and I know a lot of stuff in it. I pray to God too.”
“But you’re an ogress! You’re not human.” Blemish argued. “Only humans are God’s chosen.”
“You’re not human either, are you? I’ve seen your ears and your eyes…you’re part elf at least.” Blemish quickly winced and turned away, setting the Bible down.
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“…That’s why I’m a blemish…” He grumbled. Titania frowned and picked up the Bible. She opened it up and flipped through a few pages. As she did, Blemish watched her carefully through his mask. “What’re you doing with it?”
“There’s a verse I want to show you.” She said calmly.
“You can read it!?” Blemish gasped. Titania paused and looked at Blemish in surprise.
“…Of course.”
“No! That’s impossible! You can’t read it! No one can read the Bible except the priests and watchers.” Blemish explained.
“Who told you that?” Titania asked.
“The Watcher told me.” Blemish answered firmly. Titania scowled and turned the book towards Blemish.
“You can’t read this?” She asked. Blemish shook his head.
“I can’t read.” He answered simply. There was no shame in his voice…only honest truth. Titania stared at him a long time and then stood up again.
“What did the Inquisition teach you, Blemish?”
“They taught me about God…about fighting…and about spying. I have a strong memory and remember everything I hear.”
“What did they tell you about God?” Titania asked curiously.
“The Cataclysm that happened was because God was angry at the world. Those who were sinful he turned into other races and creatures. Those who were pure and chosen remained human. I was born a half breed…a blemish. I am part elf and part human. I have a chance at salvation, but only if I spend my life serving God and doing His will.” Titania’s eyes filled with sadness and pity as she placed a hand on Blemish’s knee.
“…Blemish, do you really believe that?” Blemish pointed to the Bible in Titania’s hand.
“They said it’s all in the Bible.” Blemish answered. Titania opened the Bible and stopped on a specific page.
“Romans 3:23 through 24. ‘For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.’” Titania looked up at Blemish again. “Every one of us are sinful, Blemish…we’re all tainted. If the Inquisition really thinks that we all transformed because we sinned and God’s pissed off…then are they really preaching from THIS or from their own bias?”
“What’s bias?” Blemish asked. Titania snorted with laughter and shook her head. “Besides, how do I know you didn’t make that up!?” He challenged further.
“And how do you know THEY didn’t?”
“They’re the priests of God! They’re the Inquisition!”
“An organization built on policing and exterminating those who aren’t like them? They’re the speakers of God?” I asked. Blemish bit his lip behind his mask.
“They…they have to be. They took me in.”
“What happened to your family?”
“…I don’t know.” Blemish answered sadly, blinking and trying to fight this growing urge to cry. You cannot cry. You cannot show pain. But the way Titania spoke…he wanted to cry. He felt…safe to.
“Blemish, I can’t tell you what to think or believe. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, so I won’t pretend to understand it. But, if you don’t mind, I want to tell you what I think.” She dared reach out and touch his shoulder, placing a gentle pressure on him. “Blemish…you’re nothing like what they think you are.”
“…You don’t know me…”
“You’re right.” Titania sighed, squeezing his shoulder gently before standing again to put away the Bible. “I don’t know you much at all. I’d like to though. If you’d like, we can get to know each other…and we could start with you taking off the mask.” Blemish didn’t budge the mask, but his fingers were trembling on it.
“…Why did you save me?” He asked finally, choking on repressed tears. “You’re just an ogress. I would’ve killed you if I was ordered to.” Titania smiled and shrugged.
“Grognor and the others are a little curious why I saved you too. I guess I looked at you and I saw someone worth saving.” She placed the Bible in the chest again and stretched. “I’m gonna go get us some supper for tonight. Grognor had to go back to town to work on Jessai’s commission and Meriel is with her mother picking herbs. You stay here and rest.” Titania grabbed a large bow and a quiver of arrows off the wall rack and made her way to the door. She then stopped with her hand on the door nob. “I won’t lock the door or anything. If you really want to go back to the Inquisition or try to kill Jessai again, you’re free to. I won’t stop you. But highly encourage you to stay and rest…the choice is yours.” Before Blemish could answer, she closed the door.
Blemish sat on the table a long time and finally lowered the mask to stare at it. It was cracked and damaged from the battle with Jessai’s orc guards. It didn’t stay on his face well like this. There were blacksmiths at the Inquisition Outpost that could fix it. He could go back and get more medical treatment and be back on his feet again ready to kill Jessai. He started to move, but then froze, the feeling of Titania’s touch on his shoulder again. It was so warm…encouraging. He liked when she talked to him. She was…kind.
“You are a blemish! A sinner!”
He grit his teeth at those memories…and for some reason they didn’t make him feel ashamed or repentant anymore…only angry. He felt angry at them. Was Titania right? How could she be!? She was an ogre! She was a big stupid ogre!
An ogre…who saved your life.
“God, what do I do?” Blemish whimpered, laying back on the table, begging God to speak to him. Though He didn’t….something kept him on the table. The thought of going to the door faded from his mind almost altogether. He wanted to hear Titania read from the Bible again…and maybe….maybe he’d take off his mask for her next time.