My gun flew from my hands when he pulled me outside. I was able to squirm out of his grasp and with glass-ridden palms I clacked the man’s teeth together with a strike into his lower jaw. The biker stumbled back with a vile yellow smile. Blood poured from the corners of his mouth and soaked into his beard.

He charged at me with his bowie knife that caught only a few strands of my hair. But I felt his next swing. With the empty sawed-off in his other hand, he smacked the cold metal of the barrel into the side of my head.

My vision blurred. My legs swayed. We clung to each other in sickening frustration while we danced on the white-powdered porch. He overpowered me in every way but I dug my nails deep into his wrists and wouldn’t let go. He snarled, sneered, and bit at me like the wolf he was.

In my desperate attempt of control while he was shoving me around, I stomped on his knee and made him buckle. In his off-balanced state, I threw him to the side. What I didn’t expect was for him to bring down the wood fence surrounding my porch with him.

Rapid panting came from me. And wheezing, from him. I didn’t know if he had a broken spinal cord or was catching his breath. But I didn’t wait. I staggered down the steps and picked up the shotgun protruding from the snow. I wanted his knife but it was lost. I saw his eyes turn frantic and his hollow gasps of frosted air when I loomed over him.

With closed eyes and both of my hands over the gun, I clubbed it into his skull. My screams and cries into this depraved world blocked the sounds of his bones fracturing. I stopped when the stock of the sawed-off splintered in two.

I then threw myself off the man and wept into the snow. The cold felt comforting on my swollen face and sliced hands. All I wanted to do was lay there for eternity. I never wanted this. I didn’t want to choose my own life or be forced to end another. My gaze avoided the biker when I turned back. His legs were still and his breath silent. That was all I needed to know.

Past Ralph’s scattered groceries, I walked back into my broken home. My head pulsated. I headed for the bathroom in search of bandages and a mirror. In the reflection, I saw a purple bruise crawl across the side of my face. The white of my eye turned bloody in the corner but I hoped it was just a burst blood vessel.

While I looked over myself, thin streams of blood fell from my hands into the porcelain sink. The injury wasn’t as bad as I thought but removing the few shards of glass from my palms with shaky hands and tweezers was agonizing.

“Fuck!” I said with gritted teeth. “I better not have glass under my skin for the rest of my life.” I pulled out as much as I could and soaked it with water. I wrapped my hands with gauze and took a bag of peas from the freezer for my head. My body wanted to rest but I resisted with all my might to go into my room and fall asleep in case I had a concussion. Instead, I stood near my front door and listened.

No revving motorcycles. No gunshots. Only the soft sounds of northerly winds blowing through naked branches and sweeping against the asphalt road. It was hard not to pass out on the couch right then.

I decided to make myself busy by collecting Ralph’s shopping cart and items. I did my best to avoid looking at the biker’s corpse but once I made eye contact, it was all I saw in my mind when I looked away. I gingerly stepped to him with my head turned over my shoulder and rolled him onto his chest. His knife jutted out from his back.

I closed my eyes. “Motherfucker,” I whispered. I continued to collect Ralph’s fallen groceries until I heard a shout from down the road. I fearfully knelt down by the body of the biker but rose when I saw my childhood friend jogging on the sidewalk.

Even from here I could tell he was exhausted and out of breath. He panted and spat out icicles when he came over. “Are y-you—”

“I’ll live, Ralph. I just…” I had no words left to tell as my tears froze to my cheeks and Ralph wrapped around me. He led me to the living room and sat with me before gathering the rest of his groceries.

“How’d you make it out?” I asked. It was so hard to speak it felt like chains were wrapped around my throat

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Ralph smirked, “Easy to lose them in the streets. They weren’t from Fallfield. I doubt they’ll return anytime soon but they won’t be too happy if they see their buddies laying on the street.”

“What do we do with them?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll deal with it. You get some rest.”

“But what if I have a concussion?” I asked. “I could slip into a coma!”

Ralph scoffed, “That’s a myth, Sage. I’d tell you to look it up but the internet is still down. Trust me when I say that you can rest. I’ll clean up and check up on you in a bit.”

While in my bed and wrapped in blankets as the cool breeze flooded my house, my head spun. Memories of the past were drowned by those of this afternoon. My comforts. My house. My brother. My face. Stripped away. Destroyed. Stolen. Battered.

Time sped by while I came in and out of slumber. Visions of my brother came to be and scenes of a place unfamiliar to me crept in my mind. I could feel grains of sand sift through my fingers and the gusting wind of a distant storm in my hair. I wanted to sleep more to escape my current reality but my body wouldn’t let me.

In my struggles, Ralph came by my bedside and asked if I was okay. I awoke in a jolt and a heavy breath. The windows cast dark hues of the coming night.

“We shouldn’t stay here,” Ralph said.

“Why not?” I groggily muttered.

“You need somewhere with a lock and a front door at least!”

“I’ll fix it later.”

Ralph stared at me with half-shut eyes. “You have an entire empty neighborhood to yourself. You can sleep anywhere! Let’s just do it for the time being until we repair your door or think of something better.” He practically dragged me out of my bed and pushed me outside before I could refuse.

I stumbled as the snow fell in the night but he led me to a house a few doors down. I didn’t even know who my neighbors were and now I was sleeping in their bed.

“Just think of it like a hotel or a vacation rental!” Ralph exclaimed. He had fun nitpicking their decor and combing through their drawers but my body and head were too tired to deny rest. I laid my head on soft pillows and crawled under silk sheets of the master bedroom while Ralph went into another. I was fortunate that he was beside me. I dared not imagine what my life would’ve been like without him in the first days of the apocalypse—while the water still ran and the power stayed on, while gas was plentiful and stores still stocked.

* * *

I pondered my dreams of a false world while in the stranger’s shower. The water felt hotter, the soaps felt cleaner, and the towels felt fancier. I dried myself off with the velvet rags and considered digging through their closet, but as I stared at the portrait of an elderly couple on the wall, I decided against it. I put on my torn blue jeans, my old high school shirt that was now stretched at the neck, and my snow-covered jacket.

Ralph was already up and I could see him giddy with excitement.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Never better!” he shouted. I had hoped for news of the world turning to normal or my brother was found but alas he pointed to the garage and dangled keys in my face. I rolled my eyes as he persisted that I follow him to see what was inside. I wasn’t surprised to see a large SUV in such a high-class home, but I was impressed to see it in such nice condition. It shone a glossy hue like it was brand new.

Ralph started the engine while I combed the rest of the garage. There were few tools and fewer things to tinker on. I noticed the custom license plate read WAND3R before Ralph bellowed with joy.

“Full. Fucking. Tank! Where do you wanna go, Sage? Yellowstone? Rushmore? Grand Can—”

“Home, Ralph.”

He somberly looked at the wheel and shut off the engine and left with a sour “Sure.”

I sighed and walked behind him as we exited the house. “I can’t just leave my home, Ralph,”

“What is there left to hold on to?” he yelled. “The world is actively collapsing around us! We had to steal! We had to kill people! You don’t even have a functioning front-fucking-door!”

“I still have Don!”

He threw his arms down and gripped his beanie in frustration, “How do you know? Has he texted you yet? Sent any letters through our defunct postal service? Knocked on your fucking door? From my point of view, everything we gave a shit about is gone!”

Tears crept in my eyes and my face turned flush. “I have to find him!”

“And where will you look?” Ralph shouted.

I clenched my fist and pressed my foot deeper into the snow, “I’ll go to the movie theaters and check if he’s there!”

“And if he’s not there?”

“I’ll search the town!”

“And if he’s not there!?”

“I’ll explore the whole fucking planet!”

Ralph stood silent with a smirk, “Good. Then pack your bags, your fish, and let’s search for Don.”