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Neon Genesis: Ascension of the Cyber Boss
13: The Sensation of Harming Others Is Different

13: The Sensation of Harming Others Is Different

The parasitic hydran’s once powerful and robust tentacles suddenly tensed and then went limp. Its large translucent body, resembling a melting jellyfish, sprawled over Swordwood's corpse.

It was indeed dissolving, transforming from a grotesque amalgamation of octopus and jellyfish into a pool of viscous, gelatinous liquid.

Once separated from its host, the hydran could only survive for a short while. Powerful yet fragile, with a lower level of intelligence, Swordwood had been its chosen next host. When its parasitism failed, the hydran lost its life too.

Jiang Ming's voice came through the team channel in broken fragments; he had survived the fall but was trapped inside the police car.

Through the scope, Cyrus watched as Captain Shu Xuyao and Liu Kangyun dashed toward the crash site, attempting to rescue Jiang Ming from the vehicle. The bulletproof glass was cracked, the door askew. Shu Xuyao kicked the door open, and with Liu Kangyun’s help, they dragged Jiang Ming out.

Thankfully, the rain had doused the flames.

"Nicely done, Cyrus!" Lan Lan patted her shoulder, loudly praising her. "Let's pack up and meet with the captain. The police car's busted, but backup is on the way. We..."

He suddenly fell silent.

Because he saw Cyrus’s hand, which held the gun, was trembling subtly. She had remained rigid ever since firing that shot.

"Are you alright, Cyrus?" Lan Lan asked with concern, helping her to her feet.

"I... I'm fine." Cyrus gripped the K80, using it as a crutch to support her body, her legs numb from kneeling and aiming for so long.

This time, the experience of killing was different from when she had killed the two muggers.

Last time, she had acted unconsciously—before she even realized it, the two men were dead, and she was shrouded in a sense of unreality from start to finish. This time was different. This time she had deliberately pulled the trigger, watching as the fatal bullet struck Swordwood's head.

Lan Lan understood. "Don't feel burdened, rookie. Swordwood brutally killed his own wife and children before his capture. He deserved to die, but our laws..." He patted Cyrus’s shoulder, seemingly trying to impart courage and strength. "His death was more than justified; you've done a service for the people. Besides, the hydran had latched onto him; he couldn't have survived anyway."

That was the most crucial point, one that Cyrus couldn't ignore.

This Swordwood was not the same "Swordwood."

The criminal Swordwood had been replaced by the player Swordwood; an innocent soul was living in a criminal's shell. Swordwood was not an NPC of the second world; he was the same kind as Cyrus.

Lan Lan's words brought no comfort to Cyrus.

Silently carrying the K80, she descended the signal tower's staircase. "Let's meet up with the captain."

The mission was over. Swordwood was dead, and the unexpected crisis with the hydran was resolved. Once the backup security officers arrived, they could return to the Enforcement Building.

Cyrus removed her helmet, letting the dense rain drench her thoroughly. She stared at the overcast sky and exhaled heavily.

She was beginning to hate the rain. It was her third day in Blackwater City, and it had rained continuously for three days.

"What was that creature?" Cyrus asked Lan Lan.

"Dealing with them is the Emergency Response Team's job. As a trainee security officer, you shouldn't know too much," Lan Lan replied. "When you become an official member, you'll learn more about exotic species. It won't be long now; your actions have merited recognition, and the captain will support your application for full membership. Our primary duty in the Enforcement Department is to maintain city order. Encounters with exotic species are rare since they are seldom seen."

"You said they shouldn't appear in the city, that they belong by the coast..."

"Yes, hydrans can't survive without water. I'm guessing the increased rain and seawater backflow gave them the chance to come ashore," Lan Lan speculated, furrowing his brow.

Cyrus decided to ask bluntly, "I've never heard of these 'exotic species' before. How do they come into existence?"

"I don't know," Lan Lan shook his head. "You were not supposed to encounter exotic species like this. You're a rookie; you shouldn't have to face these things. They're visually shocking... really disgusting, right?"

"They are rather revolting," Cyrus admitted, feeling queasy as she recalled the scene of the flailing tentacles.

"Typically, Adam tracks their whereabouts in time, and that's when the Emergency Response Team comes into play. They're tasked with the cleanup," Lan Lan explained. "Sometimes the team might not be called into action for a month, and other times they're out several times a week..."

"Do members of the Emergency Response Team always face such dangers on their missions?" Cyrus inquired.

"Not every time," Lan Lan clarified. "The team's composition isn't fixed. Members are pulled from other teams to form temporary squads as needed. For instance, I've been..."

"That's enough, Lan Lan," Captain Shu Xuyao interrupted over the team channel. "Wait until Cyrus is an official member before you fulfill your senior duties and explain things to her, alright?"

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"Sure thing! Sorry, I got carried away. Pretend you didn't hear that, rookie. Some information needs to be kept confidential."

"I understand," Cyrus replied.

Perhaps this was her gaining Lan Lan's trust? Side-by-side combat did indeed fast-track friendships.

"Our ride is here," Captain Shu Xuyao announced. "Call the police car over here; Jiang Ming needs medical attention."

"Instructions relayed, Captain Shu," Adam confirmed.

Jiang Ming was badly injured, with a broken arm and burns on his thigh. He was sweating profusely with pain as they helped him into the car and onto a stretcher.

"Get treated, then change out of your gear," Captain Shu Xuyao instructed. "Head to the rest area and take a shower; don't catch a cold from the rain."

Cyrus followed Lan Lan's ceaseless chatter to the armory to doff her gear and change back into regular clothes, then followed him to the rest area.

Before entering the rest area, Lan Lan stopped in his tracks, causing Cyrus to nearly bump into his back.

Lan Lan pointed at the door sign with a laugh: "This is the men's rest area; the women's is next door. What's on your mind, rookie? You seem distracted."

"Oh, I wasn't paying attention," Cyrus said, quickly ducking into the adjacent room.

The rest area had showers and was fully equipped. After taking a shower and drying her hair, Cyrus slumped onto the sofa.

"Trainee Security Officer Cyrus, Captain Shu is waiting for you outside," Adam informed her.

Cyrus rose from the sofa like a wraith and went to open the door.

"What is it, Captain?" she asked.

"Follow me," Captain Shu replied, leading the way.

They walked together until they reached a door marked "Psychological Therapy Office."

"Dr. Yang is on duty today; you can have a talk with him," Captain Shu said gently.

Cyrus hesitated: "I'm fine, Captain. I'm just a bit tired; I'll be okay after some rest."

"The body can recover through rest, but the mind needs a therapist," Captain Shu insisted. "You've been through a lot these past days. You're not in the right state of mind and need psychological counseling. Go on in; Dr. Yang is an excellent therapist."

Cyrus paused at the door before entering.

"Welcome," said the man inside the office in a soft voice. "You must be Cyrus? I've been friends with your captain for a long time."

His voice was deep and soothing, reminiscent of a gentle cello.

Cyrus saw his name badge: "Dr. Yang Xingyun."

"Hello, Dr. Yang," she greeted.

"Sit down, no need to be formal. The therapy office is a place to relax," Dr. Yang invited.

The therapy office was indeed relaxing, decorated differently from the other rooms. The floor was wooden, the walls were covered in warm-toned wallpaper, two walls were turned into bookshelves filled with various paper books, and even the lighting was a warm, gentle yellow, unlike the cold blue lights in the hallways.

"Would you like tea or the carbonated drinks that young people prefer? I have a wide variety here, or I can have something brought over," Dr. Yang offered with a smile.

Behind him, an open tea cabinet displayed over a dozen different teas, ranging from colorful flower blends to green and black teas.

"Tea, any kind will do," Cyrus replied.

Dr. Yang pressed the button to boil water. "Then I'll make you a cup of goji berry and red date tea. It's what I drink every day."

Cyrus was puzzled. Was the young doctor already into health preservation?

Dr. Yang skillfully prepared the tea, adding a piece of brown sugar to the ceramic cup. He pushed the cup towards her. "Do you like the decor of my office?"

"I do. It's different from other places," Cyrus said, taking a sip of the tea.

"I can't stand the color of metal; it's too cold and makes me feel oppressed if I see it for too long," Dr. Yang said. "With more and more people suffering from mental illnesses these days—not just due to the pressures of survival but also because of the environment—they are always surrounded by metal and machinery, which are associated with efficiency, rationality, and precision. Unable to relax, that's why I changed the style of the therapy office to something warmer and more 'emotional.'"

"Let's see what's on the reading page, shall we?"

"This place is very nice," Cyrus commented. "Aren't we supposed to start counseling right away?"

"This is counseling. We're here to chat, talk about everyday matters, and relieve stress," Dr. Yang said. "The work at the Enforcement Department is tough, isn't it?"

"It's alright. I'm new, and the captain and the others take good care of me," Cyrus stated dryly.

"You can confide in me about your troubles," Dr. Yang said. "Cyrus, those who join the Field Operations Team aren't passive people. When you identify a problem, you need to take the initiative to solve it, not become passive."

Cyrus was taken aback.

"I do have a worry," she admitted, sipping her tea and setting the cup down. "I used to think I was proactive. I worked hard to study, to get into college, to earn money... but lately, I've become passive."

"Passivity often stems from not having a clear goal to strive for," Dr. Yang explained. "Have you figured out what your goal is?"

"To be rich?" Cyrus said uncertainly.

Dr. Yang chuckled. "You see, even you're not sure about your goal. A goal should fill you with motivation just by thinking about it. When you talk about your goal, your tone should be decisive and firm, not hesitant."

Cyrus frowned.

"It's difficult to establish a goal, I know. I went through a long period of confusion in college before I knew what I wanted," Dr. Yang said. "Take your time to think about it."

"Alright," Cyrus nodded.

"Let's focus on resolving the immediate issues," Dr. Yang suggested. "I heard from your captain that you're struggling with the act of killing."

Cyrus hummed softly in acknowledgment.

"Can you tell me how you feel?" Dr. Yang asked.

"Hurting an exotic species and hurting your own kind feels different. Do you understand this sensation, Dr. Yang?" Cyrus asked.

"Exotic species are different, so you fired without hesitation. But when facing humans, you find it difficult to shoot with the same rationality, right?" Dr. Yang inquired.

Cyrus didn't nod or shake her head in response to his question.

In Cyrus's view, she and Swordwood were the same kind, as was Chill. To her, everyone in the second world, except for the players, was an 'other.'

"I killed one of my own, and even though I know I did nothing wrong, I'm still troubled by it," Cyrus said.

"Human empathy dictates that you would feel this way. As a security officer, you're destined to deal with these emotions and struggle with them," Dr. Yang explained. "Now, let's make a hypothetical situation, Cyrus."

"If there had been no exotic species during the mission, no threat from the hydran, how would you have dealt with Swordwood?"

Without hesitation, Cyrus answered, "If he had picked up a weapon, I would have shot his hand, and if he continued to resist, I would have aimed for his other hand, then his legs, until he lost the ability to resist. Then the captain could have captured him."

"So you never considered the option of killing him outright. You only wanted to incapacitate him, correct?" Dr. Yang said.

Cyrus nodded.

"You're a compassionate person, Cyrus," Dr. Yang stated.

If Swordwood had resisted, Adam would have deemed him a threat, and Cyrus's teammates would have terminated him. Only by completely incapacitating Swordwood could his life be spared. If he couldn't resist or flee, his struggle would be meaningless.

Limbs could be replaced with mechanical ones, which might even function better than the originals.

But once a life is gone, it's truly gone.

"Now, making this hypothetical is meaningless; he's dead," Cyrus said.

"You will face many such situations in the future, you..."

Before Dr. Yang could finish, Cyrus interjected, "I'm trying to control my empathy. I will indeed encounter this often in the future, and I'm already working on overcoming it."

"You're also strong, Cyrus," Dr. Yang said softly.