Deacon tried to pull himself the rest of the way through the door but was stuck on something. He popped his head back in the room to see one of the clockwork legs from the racks was half in and out of his bag. Pulling the rest of himself back into the room he grabbed the leg and shoved it into his bag. Turning toward the wall next to the door he noticed a crack or red light from the door.

Door number five swung open as Deacon pushed against it. Whatever locked the doors in place must have been released when the red lights started blinking. He waved everyone else into the room as the rows of clockwork soldiers continued to wake.

“There are at least twenty-five rows of those things, ten across. Our bladed weapons won’t do much,” Amanda remarked as she braced the door.

“We know we just have to get the hat. Let’s focus on that,” Typhus commented.

“They haven’t moved yet,” Hani said as he peered through the window in the door.

“That is strange. They also all have hats on. So which one is the monster?” Tantus asked as he tried to share space with Hani trying to see.

“We’ve only looked in two of the rooms. Maybe there is something in one of the others that might help,” added Amanda.

“Okay, I have an idea. It’s not great, even by my standards. We could try order ninety-six,” said Deacon as he looked over at Tantus from his seated position on one of the work benches.

“No, no. that’s not fair to Alfred. He’s been entirely focused on creating safe spaces and training rooms. Besides I’m not sure sand golems could… you said they were clockwork?” Tantus asked as his mind did a backflip and he spun toward Deacon.

“Yup, I found these plans pinned to the walls,” Deacon said as the flap of his bag opened up and pages flew out. Then he pointed to the racks of spare parts behind everyone.

“Who is Alfred? And why are we talking about him now?” Hani asked.

Everyone’s eyes snapped over to look at Hani. He was the odd man out. Hired by Mr. Clean, guild master of the Mountain’s Shadow thieves guild back at Iron Mountain Plateau, he wasn’t privy to this particular secret. His orders were to protect Deacon and secure his exit from the capital. Essentially his job was done but he couldn’t go back to his old assignment now. Deacon wasn’t certain he’d earned the right to know about Alfred, but he was left with very little choice in this situation. Hani had proven invaluable the fighting since then and everyone else seemed to like him. On the other hand his specialization was all about deceit and infiltration.

“Just tell him,” Typhus said to Deacon getting a round of nods from everyone else.

“What is it? Some kind of guardian spirit?” Hani asked slightly tilting his head making the bells in his hat jingle jangle.

“Fine. But he can tell you himself,” Deacon said as Alfred’s dungeon nucleus floated up from the bag.

“Greetings Hani Al-Hamdani, I’m Alfred. Sapient dungeon spirit bound to Master Deacon,” Alfred said in his usual monotone pattern.

“A what? Master crafted and evolved. That’s some treasure you’ve got there boss,” Hain commented moving closer to the floating cylinder.

“How did you know it’s crafting level and status?” Deacon asked floating Alfred slowly away from the avarice in Hani’s eyes.

“Oh, I have a visual appraisal skill. Most people have to touch an object to receive its details. I can get the same slate message from looking at things. Standard Shadow Guild appraisal package. I share that information freely based on the trust you are currently showing me now,” Hani said schooling his expression and returning to the aloof mask he often wears.

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“I assume we are in a bit of a bind. Should I whitelist the jester?” Alfred asked as the dark and green patches of his outer shell shifted slightly.

“For now I think that would be wise—” Deacon began before being interrupted by Typhus.

“They are now moving. Climbing over the railings in our direction. They definitely know we are here,” Typhus said before grabbing one of the work benches and trying to block the door.

“Oh, this seems like an order ninety-six scenario,” commented Alfred getting a nod from Deacon.

Alfred’s cylinder sped to the ground, and he began to spread out around the room. This being the first time Hani had seen this transformation he jumped when the dimensional membrane reached his feet. In a matter of seconds the whole twenty foot by thirty foot room was coated in Alfred’s covering. Then the dimension solidified in place, and they were all standing in Deacon’s sitting room. Deacon gestured toward the conference room just as Alfred materialized from the wall. Hani took a moment to drink in the vision of stoicism that was Alfred. Slicked back hair, white button down shirt, tight black slacks with black shoes. He was even sporting a new handlebar mustache.

“Nice to meet you in person,” Hani said as Alfred walked him into the conference room.

At the sand table, Deacon pulled up the current dungeon layout. He knew they didn’t have much time, so he needed to place the entrance, that normally lead into his mansion, at the beginning of the maze. It was the only premade obstacle and anything else they would try to produce would take more time.

“How sturdy would you say the foliage of the hedge maze is, Alfred?” Deacon asked.

“That depends. What will be entering me?” Alfred questioned back.

“Clockwork automatons. Here,” Deacon spread the instruction out on the wall opposite him. Alfred materialized a long piece of glass and pressed it against the pages holding them in place, so Deacon no longer had to focus on it.

“I see. Designed by ancient Gnomish engineers. Fine work. I’d like to have one to add to my catalog. The maze won’t contain them for long should they decide to just smash through. We’ll need to distract them while they are still in it. I suggest sending in baseline goblins from the soul menagerie. They are cheap of enough for me to construct using the existing Shard of Divinity you supplied me. We will need a guardian at the exit though,” Alfred explained.

“I picked up some spare parts for you bud. Can you make a really big sand golem?” Deacon asked.

“I don’t think you’ll need one. Seems we have a volunteer,” commented Typhus pointing to the center of the table.

The sand map on the table highlighted the end of the hedge maze. There was small sand version of Sun Wu spinning a stand staff around his body before planting it in the ground in front of the exit.

“Speaking of sand. I had an idea when I was looking at the plans earlier. Can you switch the goblins to the sand golems but mix in thirty percent of the white phosphorous we got from that first Wode?” Tantus interjected.

“Master Tantus, that is a very good idea. Although I think thirty percent is probably too high. I will adjust the mix to eighteen percent. That should grant a hot enough burn without becoming a hazard to everyone else,” Alfred replied inclining his head to Tantus.

“I don’t understand. What’s happening?” Hani asked.

“They plan to malign the inner workings of the clockwork men then the friction will ignite a powder substance that should melt them from the inside,” Amanda explained watching as the first of the automatons stumbled into the hedge maze.

The first of the clockwork men breached the door and found themselves starring at a vast expanse of green shrubbery. The entity guiding the spring loaded facsimile was confused. There should have been terrified humanoids in here. It pressed forward followed by scores of its kin. At the first turn it noticed a small green creature with a stick in one hand while the other was furiously looking for gold up its own nose with the other. The battle was swift as the little goblin was turned to paste by the first blow of the walking statue. Then several more solid looking humanoids composed entirely of sand filled the corridors of the maze. One after the other colliding with the first fifty of the clockwork soldiers. They were blasted apart by strong metal arms crashing into sandy malleable bodies.

Then the first automaton to enter the maze shuddered and began to smoke. The gears and cogs within the chassis became congested with sand. Some of that sand began to heat up as the friction between the components rose. In a great flash of light and heat the innards of the robot began to melt and ooze out of the chassis. The green glow in it’s eyes winked out as it slump to the ground. Subsequently melting along with the rest of its parts into slag on the dungeon floor.

Back in the conference room, they all watched what was happening on the large wall sized monitor what was happening. They were all shocked when the first of the clockwork soldiers went up in a bright flash.

“Holy crap! That stuff burns real hot. I can see why Captain Pete didn’t want this getting out. Imagine what it could do to a city,” Deacon mused.

“You were right Alfred, thirty percent was too much,” Tantus commented getting surprised looks from Amanda and Typhus.