Memory transcription subject: Estala, Ex-Prestige Exterminator.

Date [standardised human time]: January 3rd, 2137

“So what is Earth like?”

Joseph and I lay on our backs, staring up at the clear blue sky above and enjoying such a beautiful day. As I lay nestled in his arm I felt safe, I felt like all the issues in the world didn’t matter right now. Back at home there would be self loathing, hatred, nightmares. But here, right now, they are gone.

“In what way?”

Joseph took a few moments to push a particularly pushy blue flowerbird out of the way as he responded, the avian had been chirping angrily at the audacity of the human who was not currently dispensing food. Based on what Joseph had told me, flowerbirds had actually started to become a problem around the refuge camp. The birds had quickly learned that if you annoyed the “predators” enough, they generally dispensed tasty seeds.

“In any way? It is hot, cold. Marshy, dry? What’s life on Earth like?” I asked.

The nightmares had been getting worse. The self hatred of being a potential predator was nothing compared with the loathing caused by knowing the effect of the choices I had made. Sometimes it was the families of victims I had failed screaming at me, asking why I didn’t save their loved ones. Others I was in Kalsim’s fleet, destroying Earth while Joseph begged for me to stop. All of them left me shaking as I awoke each paw.

“The answer to that is Yes. Based on what I’ve seen, Earth has one of the most varied environments as the Federation tends to homogenise everything. Snow covered vistas, sprawling forests, vast deserts, massive oceans. It’s actually what I was studying, a degree in Ecology [???].”

My translator failed to give meaning to the last word, giving up halfway through an explanation of colonising a new planet to live on. I decided not to ask, as from my experience such questions caused more painful revelations: I had enough of those to deal with as it is.

“This also means the wildlife varies wildly. Each biome has its own specialised species and adaptations to fit into the environment in exciting ways. Species will literally travel thousands miles in order to follow warm weather around the world. Entire forms of life only found and adapted to one single island or section of the world.”

I didn’t get why Joseph seemed to care about my wellbeing. I most definitely didn’t deserve it. I had met him under false pretences, and even now the camera was still recording. I just couldn’t… stop it. Three times I’d attempted to remove the device, being physically unable to do so each time. It was the last desperate connection I had to a world where I wasn’t a monster. A small part of me that wanted so badly to be right, to make everything I did be ok.

Not that it ever would be.

“Human culture and lifestyle are similar. There are over two hundred countries, all of them have their own cultures and way of life. Vast cities that spread up to the sky, small hamlets in the middle of nature. The answer to ‘What is Earth like’ is basically ‘Yes’.”

I had at least found the strength to disable the dead man’s switch. I remembered rushing back as fast I could after falling asleep in the humans calming embrace, only barely triggering the reset in time. I didn’t have to worry about accidentally releasing a video to the world. Now I only had to worry about Joseph finding out about my original intentions.

“What about where you lived, what was that like?” I asked, purposefully pushing my thoughts away, to just enjoy the calm for now. Joseph had suggested meeting here twice as often, every three paws instead of the seven we previously had an unspoken agreement for, an idea I very greatly appreciated. The human had also suggested meeting outside of this clearing, something I wasn’t ready for.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“Well I come from a country called England. It’s an Island, lots of rolling hilly countryside, fields, forests, farmland. Very green. Rather mild as weather on Earth goes, although it does rain a lot. I was studying in London, which is… was. Was a city of old and new, of modern skyscrapers reaching to the sky next to small buildings of wood made half a millennia ago. Family lives far further north than that though, in the countryside. I’ve got pictures if you want to see.”

Joseph took a moment to fish out his holopad, navigating through the menus before showing me pictures of his life before Venlil prime. Of buildings shining with bright lights, of picturesque countryside that looked like they could come from the Gojid cradle. I felt a bitter sadness that a lot of the places I was being shown didn’t exist anymore because of the federation.

Because of people like you.

Eventually the pictures stopped on an image of a large rolling countryside providing the backdrop to four humans. One of them was clearly a younger Joseph. Not that long ago seeing such an image would have initiated a fear response, of worry from seeing so many forward facing eyes. But now… now I just felt numb to the entire thing.

“Is that your family?” I asked, guessing the answer already.

“Yea. That’s Me, Mom, Dad and my older sister Vanessa. Vanessa would love you, always been into birds, parrots especially. There’s a parrot sanctuary nearby that we’d visit every open day, so meeting someone like you would blow her mind.”

I focused on the last figure, who seemed to be covered in strange braces and holding into what looks like some form of crutch. Clearly an injury of some kind from living on the more dangerous Earth.

“Was this Vanessa injured by a wild predator before this picture? A bear perhaps?”

This caused Joseph to giggle slightly before responding.

“No. England is rather safe, it’s not like bear attacks are a regular risk. No Vanny has a long term condition. Myotonic dystrophy. Basically her muscles aren’t strong enough so need some extra help.” Joseph’s tone seemed to darken as he spoke, sadness replacing the excitement of before “It’s why they stayed on Earth. Stronger gravity here, probably not a good mix. I only came because mom convinced me not to give up the opportunity on their behalf.”

I could see the emotions etched into his face: worry, guilt, fear. These sparked my own similar feelings, knowing that in my own small way I had contributed to why the human who was careful with me was in such a state. I didn’t want to ask the next question, but I knew I had to anyway.

“Have you had any news?”

“I should get some soon. With London and Glasgow getting hit, federation forces running around and just the general clusterfuck that is Earth, checking on a shelter that’s out in the countryside hasn’t been a high priority. The things are designed to hold people for years, so anyone who got to a shelter has just been bunkering down while everyone else gets control of the chaos.”

Joseph gave a sigh, before perking back up again in almost a forced motion.

“Anyway, enough about that. What’s Nishtal like?”

Bad memories. Pain. Loneliness. Filled with genocidal assholes who would hurt this human for nothing more than just existing. Still I gathered it wasn’t the answer that Joseph was looking for.

“Warmer than here, a lot warmer. Lower gravity as well which makes flying wonderful, soaring for miles on updrafts. Mostly marsh land apart from near the equator, which is this network of hilly rocky canyons”

Nishtal had become a hot topic on the human FederationColdCases site, after Joseph had uploaded the details of my fathers now presumed murder. It being the only exterminator case from Nishtal had caused a lot of interest in solving the case, although most humans had hit a dead end simply due to the lack of access to information on Nishtal: Communications with Venlil prime had been cut months ago.

“While a few groups live in the marshes and hillsides, most of us live in the giant sky cities that line the sky. Massive chunks of rock suspended through antigravity, atop which giant cities of glass and vines lie.”

I did miss it, at least a little bit. I liked Venlil prime, I liked the Venlil, but there was something about the way the sun hit the horizon just right each morning that created a sight just like no other.

“Sounds awesome!” Joseph's enthusiasm dripped from every word. “I know right now it’s not a possibility, but I’d love to visit, I’d love to just see everything the universe has to offer.”

Did Nishtal even still exist? In between the self-destruction of the federation and the Arxur attacks, was there even a Nishtal to go back to? I decided to ignore that question and just think of a potentially happier future.

“Only if I get to visit earth at some point!”

Joseph gave me a scratch on the neck, still grinning from ear to ear in a weirdly adorable way. It was strange considering a predator slightly adorable, but it was hard not to get sucked into his general enthusiasm for life.

“It’s a deal! Once all this stupidity has died down, you show me Nishtal and I’ll show you Earth!”

Against all odds I didn’t have to lie about my next statement, I said it with all the truth and honesty I could muster.

“I’d like that a lot.”