Memory transcription subject: Estala, Ex-Prestige Exterminator.
Date [standardised human time]: January 4th, 2137
I was awoken by the sound of screaming. A pure predatory noise, one that startled me awake and sent me clattering off my sleeping perch and onto the floor. My feathers bristled outwards as I confusedly looked around, heart pounding as I tried to work out what had happened. I waited a few moments, feeling my breathing starting to slow back down as silence returned to my apartment, nothing but the sound of the storm that was raging outside.
I started to believe I’d just imagined it, when the sound echoed through my apartment once again, causing me to jump and desperately look around for the source, my mind imagining hidden predators in the darkness of the room.
Wait, was that from the computer?
The third time it sounded out confirmed my suspicions as I got up off the floor and turned the screen on, the room lighting up as the display now showed the same thing it had been recording for the past… how long had it been now? The clearing where I met with Joseph.
It should be showing nothing but trees and grass as the storm outside continued on. Normally Venlil prime had nice weather, but the tidally locked nature of the planet meant that whenever the conditions allowed for the dark and light sides atmospheres to mix, the storms it created were legendary. Nothing should be out there in the pouring rain and wind, yet…
Is that Joseph?
Yes it was, the human was soaked through and screaming into the storm, but a scream that was nothing like I’d heard before. I thought I knew what a predatory sound was, but this… this was out of control, of pure anger, of emotion, of rage and grief. Even more strangely with each scream Joseph would strike a tree with his fist. I half expected the predator to punch a hole through the bark, as if anything on this planet could stand against the force of a human. But stand it did, the punches seeming to have no effect.
I was out the window without even thinking twice, flapping hard against the freezing rain and winds that threatened to throw me around. This wasn’t normal, this wasn’t the Joseph I knew. Something was wrong, and storm or no storm I wasn’t going to let the human face it alone. Whatever disease or infliction was causing this behaviour, Joseph had shown too much care, too much empathy for me to just ignore it.
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Memory transcription subject: Estala, Ex-Prestige Exterminator.
Date [standardised human time]: January 4th, 2137
I was exhausted. I was soaked to the bone and at this point I don’t think I could have flown another wing beat as I almost crashed into the clearing with a spray of water. What normally would have been almost a claw of travelling had been done in half that as I’d pushed myself as hard as I could fly. Angry clouds blocked the entire sky, shrouding the forest in the closest thing to “night” that Venlil prime could have
Joseph was still here and seemingly didn’t react to my entrance, either because of the storm or whatever strange thing was going on. The human was knelt down, staring aimlessly up at the tree he had been striking previously. Joseph was thankfully no longer attacking the foliage, but the evidence of his actions had been left behind: the bright red blood of a human was smeared across the trunk and splattered across the grass. In his actions Joseph had clearly done some damage to himself.
“Joseph, what’s going on? Are you ok?”
That got the human’s attention, his body almost seeming to jolt awake at the sound of my voice. It took him a moment to respond, his voice wavering and tired as it interrupted the sound of the rain, as if the only reason he hadn’t broken down into screaming again was because Joseph lacked the energy to do so.
“I’m sorry Estala, I really don’t want to talk with you today. I can’t handle talking with you today, I-”
Joseph stopped halfway through his sentence, head tilting to the side momentarily before slowly the human got up, and turned to look at me. I had thought that many things the human had done before was predatory, but now I knew that I was wrong, because this look, this look right here was predatory.
It was a crazed look of distrust, of anger, of grief, all given through eyes still red from crying and filled with tears. I felt myself squirm and as the terror of being under such a gaze ran through every sodden feather on my body.
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“Why are you here Estala?”
The voice had turned colder, accusatory as he stared down at me as I shivered
half from the rain and half from this sudden change from Joseph.
“I heard you screaming, what’s wrong? What’s happened? How can I-”
“Sorry. I apologise. I misspoke.” Joseph interrupted me, each sentence ending harshly and anger starting to creep in with each word. “What I meant to say is. How. The fuck. Are you here? Because the Krakotl must have some serious hearing for you to have heard me from town.”
Oh no, that was a good question, one that I didn’t have a good answer for. I stuttered and stumbled as my exhausted brain tried to work out some good reason for my presence here that didn’t involve the recording device. I couldn’t tell Joseph the truth now, not when something else was clearly wrong, not when the human was in this state.
Joseph however seemed to notice my silence.
“I thought so. Why the fuck have you been following me?” The human spread his arms out wide, taking a few steps towards me. “You here to finish the job, do your duty as an exterminator and kill a vicious predator? I’m right here! It’s a bit wet but it turns out that when you’re a ‘civilised prey’ that means you put all your focus into learning how to burn things alive, so I’m sure your technology can handle such a noble task! Or maybe you’re thinking bigger, you want to use me to get access to refugee shelter? So you can creep in and burn everyone alive, because it turns out you’re really fucking good at that! Why are you here!?”
His words were filled with venom, being spat out with pure anger as those eyes bore hate deep into my skull. That human red blood mixing with the rain and dripping from the ends of his fingertips as he held them out by his side, almost begging me to make whatever move he believed I was going to make. This wasn’t the Joseph I knew, something had changed in the mere paw since I’d seen him last. Something terrible had happened.
“I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here because I’m worried. What’s happened, what’s wrong?”
“You are what’s wrong! You and your entire fascist species and this stupid fascist galaxy!” Joseph was practically baring his teeth as he spoke, fury punctuating each word as he screamed at me, only my exhaustion of sprinting through this storm stopping me from fleeing from his words.
“No, you’re worse than that! Even the Nazi’s at the end knew when to fucking quit! You’d have thought that having your extermination fleet destroyed would be a sign that maybe it’s over. But not the Federation, no! Turns out that anyone who managed to get onto Earth spent their time burning and murdering anyone they could find.”
I was still confused, what did any of this have to do with anything? Unless…
Oh Inatala…
Joseph’s sudden change, his pain, anger, why he was out here in the first place. Of course Kalsim’s fleet wouldn’t have given up on their genocidal campaign, they would have attempted to continue their extermination at all costs, even on the planet’s surface. Had they come across a shelter, such as the one Joseph’s family had been riding out the invasion in…
I knew what had happened, I knew that the remnants of Kalsim’s fleet had found Joseph’s family, the ones he had so excitedly shown me a mere paw ago. And then they had done their terrible terrible job.
“I am so sorry Joseph, I really am.”
The human rushed forward, startling me as I fell over, teeth bared as he shoved an outstretched finger into my beak. From here I could see the damage to his hand from striking the tree, the signs of bruising and at least one broken knuckle clearly visible.
“No! You don’t get to say that! You don’t get to pretend that you give a shit about me or my family, not when you’ve been lying to me for whatever fucked up reason you have! I thought you were my friend Estala, but I guess I’m just too much of a ‘predator’ for that?”
I look up at the anger in Joseph’s tear filled eyes, feeling the guilt and shame that must be showing from mine.I should have told him the truth paws ago. I should have never even started this stupid attempt at revealing humanity's “true plan”. Yet here I was, a blatant reminder of the Federation that had done so much damage to this innocent human.
“I’m sorry, I… I just thought that… By the time I realised I was wrong I thought that… if you found out why I was here you’d hate me. I’ll tell you everything, I never planned on hurting anyone.”
The human’s face softened a little bit as I spoke, as I hoped my sincerity came through in my voice and face. I hoped I hadn’t left this too late, to not permanently lose Joseph’s trust. The anger had drained from his face, replaced with a despondent sad tiredness.
“Just leave Estala. Just leave and don’t come back.”
It felt like I’d been punched in the chest. I could see his pain, I knew his pain, and knowing I was responsible for at least some of it… I should just leave, the human would be better off without me anyway.
What would Joseph do?
If I was in this situation, would Joseph leave me?
I stood up as tall as I could go, and looked the predator in the eye.
“You once told me that good and evil is all about choice. I’m choosing not to leave you. You’re hurt, so if you need to shout at me, scream at me, hurt me, kill me, I don’t care. You’re my friend and I’m not leaving you.”
I watched Joseph’s face soften as he stared at me, as I held my breath hoping that I said the right thing as I held my ground. Then the human lunged at me, for a moment fear consumed me as I thought Joseph was finally taking the action I’d been trying to show the world from the beginning, before he simply buried his face in what remained of my chest feathers, and began to weep.
Joseph was over twice my size and could have snapped me in half if he wanted to. But in this moment he simply held on tight as he continued to sob, as if he was a fledgling clinging to his mother during a storm. The rain and wind continued to buffet us both as I could do nothing but just stand there as the human gripped onto me, as if he’d float away without my anchor.
“Why?” Joseph choked out the words between sobs, continuing to wrap his arms around me as tight as he could. “We just wanted to explore the universe. We just wanted to find friends. We just wanted to be friends. Why?!”
That was a question that I didn’t have a good answer for.