"Seriously, what the hell." I grumble at Guy as we push our way to the front of the crowd gathered around the pit, "I thought you didn't want to see the fights."

"I don't." Guy pants back, the long hours stuck at the railyard not doing his fitness any favors, "Just humor me, alright?"

"Will you at least carry your share of the luggage?" I mutter unhappily as the handles of the suitcases bite into my palms. The luggage trunks aren't particularly heavy, not for me at least, but damn. Carrying all four of them at once is pretty uncomfortable. The press of bodies around Guy and I steadily give way at our urging, and soon we reach the edge of the wooden stands, providing us with a clear view of the crude arena.

With the clinking of chains, a pair of burly handlers drag an utterly massive bear into the pit, another two men station themselves behind the animal, prodding away at it with long metal rods. The dire bear's hind legs are bound with heavy manacles, forcing it to move at an unenthusiastic shuffle. Old wounds dot the bear's pelt, revealing patches of tight corded muscle around its body. A low growl emits from the animal's muzzle, dripping with annoyance and barely suppressed hostility.

And standing directly opposite the bear is a foppish looking man with a bleary expression on his face, his long hair tied in a loose, oily ponytail.

"Oh fuck." I let loose a long groan, "Please don't tell me that's Ramon."

"OK. I won't tell you its Ramon." Guy whispers urgently, "Doesn't change facts though."

I stare completely boggle eyed as our fence staggers around the fighting pit while waving at the crowd, his gaze completely vacant. Ramon's white silk shirt is stained with something or other, the puffy poet sleeves emphasizing his already incredibly clueless look. A short sword hangs from Ramon's belt, slapping merrily away at his thigh.

"Is he drunk?" I sigh, "Ramon's drunk again, isn't he?"

That man spends his money on booze and whores just as fast as he earns it. I have no idea how Ramon manages his business being soused more than half the time.

"Ramon can handle himself in a fight." Guy offers helpfully, "He did receive a traditional noble's education after all."

Huh, that's right. Ramon's father had him educated old school. All nobles were expected to spend some time serving in the kingdom's military. Something about noblese oblige, protecting the little people and so on. Ramon might not have any talent for magic like Guy or myself, but he would have been taught how to duel as part of that fancy education he got. That short sword is probably not just for show. As I am chewing this little factoid over, Ramon spots Guy and myself in the stands and waves at us cheerily.

"See? He's got it under control." Guy says hopefully, "Probably?"

"Did he get in there for a lark?" I curse in exasperation, "If Ramon gets himself mauled I'm going to laugh at him as he bleeds out."

The bear's handlers pull out a small bag and open it, tipping the contents over the bear's head. A small cloud of powder descends from the bag and the bear begins snorting away furiously. At the same time, the duo with the metal rods begin jabbing hard at the bear's ribs, trying to provoke it to anger. The bear snuffles for a few seconds and suddenly rears up on its hind legs with an earsplitting roar. The handlers take this as their signal to scarper out of the pit before the bear's bloodshot eyes can lock onto them.

Leaving only one person to be the target of the bear's wrath.

"Its not that bad." Guy continues his observation, "The bear's manacles have not been unbound. Ramon is already being given at advantage."

"Everybody's here for a show. Not a slaughter." I agree, settling down.

Ramon draws his short sword with a dramatic flourish and the crowd goes into wild cheers. The bear stalks forward, drool running from its mouth while Ramon postures, completely unconcerned for his safety. His entire body is relaxed and the short sword is poorly positioned to guard on short notice. Ramon is either incredibly confident of his chances or his dueling instructor needed to be taken out to the back and shot for incompetence.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

The bear's shuffle begins eating up the distance between itself and Ramon. Then Ramon brings his free arm up and there's a swift, almost imperceptible movement as something snaps out of the puffy sleeve. Before I can register what happened, there's a loud bang with smoke bellowing out of Ramon's hand.

"No way!" Guy exclaims, "Ramon knows magic?"

"Not magic." I grunt, "Look closer. He had a ladies pistol hidden in that sleeve. Pretty neat trick, I have to admit."

Ramon's sleight of hand sends the crowd going wild as the smoke from the gunshot clears, revealing Ramon in a shooter's stance with the small pistol clasped tightly in his hand. A small dent is lodged into the bear's forehead and the animal wobbles ever so slightly on its feet.

"This is for you Amanda!" Ramon yells triumphantly at the top of his voice, "Do you see? Do you see?"

"RAMON!" I shout at the top of my voice, resisting the urge to face palm, "THE BEAR IS A MONSTER! A SINGLE BULLET WON'T KILL IT!"

And right on cue, the bear starts closing in on Ramon again, its feet dragging long furrows in the dirt.

"Shoot the bear again!" Guy urges as the crowd begins getting worked up again.

"The gun's single shot only!" Ramon yells as he throws it to the ground while brandishing the short sword. Taking a deep breath, Ramon's face loses the vacant expression and assumes a look of pure concentration. Good, he's finally taking it seriously. Ramon's feet send him flying forward and the short sword lashes out as fast as a whip before the bear can react. The blade homes in on the beast's throat, slicing a graceful arc through the air.

"That's not going to be enough." Guy mutters in consternation and as he says, Ramon only manages to deliver a shallow cut on the bear. Ramon doesn't have the means to imbue his weapon with magic like I can. Blows that would kill a mundane outright barely do any damage. But to Ramon's credit he recovers quickly and easily dodges a swing from the bear's enormous paws. The foppish man pirouettes around, weaving past another blow as he swings the short sword at the monster.

"Oh dear." I mutter as Ramon's sword strikes home just as the bear drives its shoulder hard at him.

This time Ramon manages to open a nasty wound on the beast, but the momentum of the shoulder charge is too much for him to handle. The short sword is sent flying from Ramon's grip and he goes sprawling across the dirt. The bear slams its paws into the ground, trying to crush Ramon underfoot as he madly rolls about to survive.

"To the death! To the death! To the death!" the crowd begins to chant, sensing that the end of the fight is near.

"Should we do something?" Guy asks helplessly.

"We could laugh at Ramon together?" I suggest, "I've already decided to laugh at him anyway."

There's a loud shriek as the bear's paw slashes across Ramon's back, staining his shirt crimson. Ramon kicks at the bear's snout, giving him enough room to stagger back to his feet. Not that it helps Ramon much. Unless he has another trick up those poet sleeves, Ramon is well and truly screwed.

"Who's Amanda by the way?" I ask Guy who stares at the fight with morbid fascination, "Our friend's latest favorite girl?"

"Ramon's fiancé." Guy explains, "I don't think you've met her before. Nice lady."

"Nice. Right." I reply dubiously. I have grave doubts about her moral character if she put Ramon up to this.

Ramon screams in pain again as he desperately raises his arms to block another slash from the bear. Bloody tracks are carved into the shirt sleeves as Ramon backs up toward the sloping wall of the pit.

"You think he can climb out?" Guy mutters.

"Not with the bear on his back." I respond while Ramon flails about, barely managing another dodge, "Ramon should be able to outrun the bear thanks to those manacles binding its legs. Until he tires, that is."

"Or bleeds out." Guy dourly cuts in.

"Hm, yeah." I muse before taking a deep breath and pointing at Ramon, "HA! HA!"

Guy just raises an eyebrow at my display, a silent question on his lips.

"There. Laughed at Ramon while he bleeds out." I nod satisfied, "Got that out of my system. Could you watch the luggage for me?"

"I could help you know?" Guy says, drawing a pendulum from his clothes.

"Sure. Back me up if you can." I agree with relief, "Just make sure the luggage isn't stolen."

"Bros before hos, am I right?" Guy flashes a gentle smile as he begins letting the pendulum swing from side to side.

"Don't know any hos." I scoff, "Just not keen on going through the trouble of finding someone else to accept our 'luggage'. Wish me luck."

With a single motion I jump from the stands, straight into the pit. As my stomach churns from both the sudden drop and the excitement, my hand moves in rote patterns, invoking tried and tested magic. The Rhino Skin spell bites into my skin, weaving itself between the fibers of my muscles. The bear immediately senses the presence of my magic and spins about to face me, completely forgetting about Ramon. I draw my sword and point it at the bear in challenge as the crowd stills to a hush.

"Time for the main event."