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Natasha the Halve
54 - Jinxing it again.

54 - Jinxing it again.

Alyssa and Lapia sat down with us and introduced themselves to the Goliath.

“How about a fight tomorrow?” Thelea turned to Yolin.

The Oni shook her head, “We have a busy day tomorrow. Maybe on Firstday?”

“You do realize I'm going to beat the shit out of both of you, right?” I leaned back, hoping to dissuade them with those words. While I welcome conflict, I lean more towards fights to the death rather than unnecessary violence. With the two being lower level than me, the stakes were nonexistent.

“Even better,” the Goliath nodded with a smile. "So, Firstday it is."

So a masochist, too? I stared at the woman for a second then turned to Lapia, “How was your day? Did you find any good pastries?”

“Pretty good, actually. We did,” she nodded with a beautiful smile. “There's a small cafe a couple blocks south from where we're staying. They had biscuits and cake. They were delicious.”

I served myself some alcohol from the bottle Pokora brought and took a sip. There was no sweetness and the taste was pronounced, leaving none of that burning sensation. It went down smoothly but lacked the creamy texture of high quality vodka. It was better than any previous by far but it still had ways to go in my opinion.

Alyssa let out a soft huff, “It was pretty mediocre, if I'm honest. The cake was a bit soggy and the biscuits had too much sugar.”

I nodded in understanding. It's important to have a passion and stick to it.

Pokora stood up again and gave Lapia a nod, “What are you having? I'm going to the counter.”

“Plum wine, please,” the Wizard gave her a wink.

“How about you, Alyssa?” the Archer turned to the Cleric.

“Wine, please and thank you,” the Luzo offered a warm smile.

“I'm feeling like potato spirit tonight,” the Oni nodded.

Pokora left and we continued chatting.

As the hours passed and alcohol was consumed, I grew increasingly confused as to why the Goliath was still sitting with us. It wasn't any of my business and I wouldn't ask her to leave, but nobody said anything about it and that caught my attention.

Yolin told us about the fights she had in the arena and Thelea added her version of the story with her rise in ranks through the tournament. Both clicked like old friends which was nice to see.

Bonte held back from blacking out with alcohol which was surprising to me.

I just compared it with me not drinking too much on the first dates in case the other person is dangerous. Women chase in this world, after all.

We laughed, shared some stories and jokes throughout the night, and all in all had a good time.

By the time midnight came, we were preparing to leave the tavern.

I wanted to get up early and get the matter with the King done at last, so I convinced the rest we had to go back. That took some time, unfortunately.

We payed for our drinks and food and left.

Much to my surprise, however, Thelea stuck with us. More specifically with Bonte.

The two were walking together at the back of the group and talking in quiet voices.

I didn't give it much thought. While I assumed I was going to take the financial responsibility of paying for the apartment for however long we would stay, I wasn't going to limit anyone if they wanted to bring a date back for the night if that ended up being the case.

I would be a hard one to convince if my girlfriends tried to talk me into adding a temporary partner, however. I was going for the long term with them as we had discussed. Still, talking about the possibility harms nobody, and while I was open to discuss it, they never mentioned anything of the sort.

The relationship was solid as far as I knew, and we were all happy with it.

We made it back to our place and I was notified by the staff that someone had fed Sonya.

The group went ahead to the room and I walked to the counter where the concierge sat.

“Excuse me,” I rested my hands on the table. “Did Alastor leave any message?”

The concierge, a female Urkila Tigea, looked up at me from a newspaper and gave me a nod. Then went to the lockers behind her and retrieved a sealed letter.

“Here,” she turned to me and offered me the envelope. “Gentleman Alastor left this message in regards to tomorrow's appointment. He didn't elaborate any further, I'm afraid.”

Gentleman? Not Sir or Lord? I nodded, “Thank you very much.”

She gave me a polite smile and took the newspaper she had previously let go, “You're welcome, Your Excellency.”

I cringed inside and left for the stairs. After opening the door I found Pokora sitting in the living room staring at Bonte's door with concern on her face. I shook my head and walked inside, then sat next to her.

“Where's the rest?” I leaned back on the sofa and let out a long sigh. My mind was a little blurry with the alcohol. Not enough to be drunk, but comfortably tipsy.

“They went to bed already,” she whispered for some reason. “I tell you, Natasha... Bonte's going to die. That's the textbook example of death by snu snu. She's almost a meter taller!”

I chuckled and let out a sigh, “I have no idea what snu snu is, Pokora.”

She was silent for a few seconds, then shook her head, “That's incredibly disappointing, girl. Snu snu is perhaps one of the funniest memes ever,” she was still whispering.

“Maybe,” I shrugged. “That's what everyone says about every single meme.”

“Not at all,” she let out a quiet chuckle. “We zoomers brought back the good ones.”

I groaned and covered my face, “You're not a zoomer anymore, Pokora.”

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

She slowly turned to me with a complicated face, “How can you say that? It's hard to just abandon an entire life's worth of experiences.”

Well, that came out of nowhere, I sighed.

“Back in Lakeview you said you were an Elf through and through,” I began, placing a hand on her shoulder. “But you usually default to Earth's jokes and references. I'm not judging you, and I think it's good to look for people from that place... but don't make it your goal in life. It could take longer than you initially thought.”

She let out a long sigh, “What about you? How did you... detach yourself?”

“When I first woke up, I did not panic,” I gave her a gentle smile, “This world is beautiful and I found myself drawn to it. I walked for a while and found a cart. Lapia was being held captive by bandits. There were ten of them. Without realizing it... I killed eleven humans that day.”

She nodded, “I see.”

“Plus,” I raised my hand from her shoulder and pointed at my temple, “We Halves go through a trial. My mind works a bit different than before. When I think of Earth I feel apathy at best. Other than a tool to understand this world due to familiarity, it holds nothing of actual value to me.”

She sighed.

“Also,” I gave her a spooky look. “We're Galeians. Earthlings are aliens to us.”

Her eyes widened, “You fucking cunt! Don't just ruin it for me. Agh!” she covered her eyes and leaned back on the sofa, “Now I can't not think about it like that.”

I giggled, “Well, just for today, let's talk about Earth for a bit.”

She glared at me through her fingers then put her hands down, “I don't want to talk about the planet itself, though. I'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.”

“Sure, shoot.”

“You did the avatar for Lulumy if memory serves me right,” she began. “I wanted to ask why you 'disowned' her.”

“She became a moral whore,” I replied instantly, remembering the events. “Monetizing parasocial relationships is morally corrupt. I didn't want to be associated to that kind of person, so I publicly cut ties with her.”

Pokora scowled, “It wasn't that bad. Besides, how else would v-tubers make money?”

“Why is that for me to solve?” I countered with a shrug, “She was nothing more than a client.”

She raised her eyebrows and scoffed, “Didn't you watch v-tubers, too?”

I nodded, “Only those who stuck to their entertainer persona. I kept in touch with some friends from my school days, so I could only see the cons of paying for someone's friendship. If an entertainer goes through a rough spot in their lives they should seek professional advice instead of likes, upvotes, or moral support from people who don't really give a shit about them.”

“Ssssss,” she sucked air through her teeth. “That's cold. Fans do care.”

“True. Until the new trend comes around,” I shrugged then stood up. “Anyway, you should get some sleep now. We have an interesting day tomorrow... meeting Royalty and all that.”

“Yeaah... about that,” she looked up at me. “I'm not going. Is that okay?”

I sighed, “Pokora... I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to. It's okay, don't worry.”

She nodded and sighed.

I turned to my room and went in, then closed the door behind me.

Lapia was reading a book on the bed and Alyssa was giving Yolin a massage on a low table with a towel under the Oni.

I smiled and got naked, then went under the blankets.

“Sooo...” Lapia gave me a seductive look.

“I'm not in the mood,” I muttered, pressing my face on the soft pillow. “Can't get in the mood today, more accurately. I'm still conscious of floating in the sky.”

The Elf hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, “Let's have a nice rest, then.”

I nodded and wrapped my arms around her, then brought her closer to me, “Thank you.”

“What for?” she chuckled.

“Respecting my boundaries?” I closed my eyes and relaxed.

“What?” she sounded genuinely confused. “If I don't respect your boundaries then what is our relationship about?”

“True,” I nodded.

Alyssa and Yolin joined us and we tangled in a group hug.

***

The next morning, I woke up and began my morning routine. The dream about Hell was pretty average in its contents. I knelt on the ground in front of the bed and put my hands together.

“Thank you for blessing me with your love,” I quietly presented my honest prayers to the three Goddesses, then went to the bathroom.

I need a name for my religion, I thought while taking a dump. I'm obviously the Pope, or a rank similar to that. Maybe I could be the prophet and spread the word. I could subjugate the entire planet and convert the people. I shook my head, The world is not ready for such perfection.

I took a shower and got ready. Sitting on the edge of the bed I retrieved the envelope Alastor left with the concierge.

'Your Excellency Natasha Novak,

His Highness Prince Rinald awaits you at any time you wish to arrive at the Royal Palace. His Majesty the King has cleared his schedule for the day so an audience with Your Excellency could take place. I shall guide Your Excellency if that is welcomed.

I thank Your Excellency for showing us this mercy.

Your Humble Servant,

Alastor Lafin, Head of House Lafin, Royal Archivist and Minister of Higher Relations,

Lumin Kingdom.'

I stared at the piece of paper for a few seconds.

Would have been nice if you told me you're the fucking Minister! I shouted in my mind.

I woke the rest up and we had breakfast together.

Bonte and Thelea were still locked in his bedroom.

After we finished eating the most important meal of the day, I got ready to leave.

I stood at the door and called for my companions, “Alright, let's go.”

Lapia walked to me and smiled, “I'll be the only one joining you.”

Yolin came to me and gave me a juicy kiss, then separated and gave me an apologetic smile, “I don't like Royalty, Natty.”

Natty? It was the first time the Oni called me with a nickname. I felt a tingle at the back of my head. It felt oddly good.

“It's fine,” I nodded and gave her a soft kiss.

Alyssa was still sitting down at the table. She looked at me and tried smiling, “Natasha, some things require balance in the world. Sleep is very important for a healthy lifestyle. I'm just a hundred years old. I've barely lived three percent of my expected lifespan. I haven't had a proper nap in what feels like a century.”

I giggled at her excuses and walked to her, hugging her from behind, “It's fine, Alyssa. Have a good nap. Love you!” I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Love you too!” she gave me a huge smile then yawned.

“Have fun,” Pokora gave me a nod from the sofa we sat at last night.

Bromisnar waved me off and smiled, “If you hear anything interesting, please do tell me.”

I nodded and left the apartment with Lapia.

“Did I wake you up too early?” I checked my pocket-watch while we went down the stairs. It was barely 7 in the morning.

“A little, yes,” the Elf chuckled. “Makes sense considering you're meeting the ruler of an entire nation.”

I gulped. I had been trying to rationalize it in different ways so far... but it hadn't really settled in me that I was on my way to meet a literal King.

“Let's hope it goes smoothly,” I bit my tongue as soon as those words came out of my mouth.

Fucking jinxed it!