“You have to eat,” Haily said, her usually comforting voice grating on my ears. “Chief Yanla ordered me to force-feed you if I must, but I’d rather not let it come to that.”

All of yesterday, people softly padded into my room and tried to get me to talk, have me take just one bite of my meals, or shut my eyes for a little while.

Janette seemed to think I was having a bad reaction due to my mother’s beheading. Annalise tried to reassure me that Aisling knew the risks of the arena. Morris said it was just a lot of bad luck that prevented them from saving her. Jeremy tried to convince me I could eat and brood at the same time. And according to Janette, the duke was back in meetings otherwise he would have come to see me.

“The chef made you a pretty light breakfast. It’s just some porridge and—

The glass art frame sitting next to the doorway shattered and fell to the ground, making Haily flinch and drop the bowl of porridge to add to the broken fragments clattering across the floor. I added my heart to the list of shattered things as I saw Haily’s startled and hurt expression at what I’d just done.

My mind was still catching up to what exactly that was, and I looked over at the empty spot where the potted plant had been. In a sleep-deprived and anger-induced stupor, I’d rolled over and thrown the pot into the frame.

“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice coming out hoarse.

Haily stood for a while to survey the mess, running her hand through her hair and shaking off a splatter of porridge that had landed on her shoe. “I’ll go get a broom, don’t go near the glass.”

She walked away, and for the first time in the last two days, the memory of the arena wasn’t what consumed me. I rolled off the bed, dizzyness making me stand still for a while before

opening the balcony doors and throwing the dirt and porridge outside into the bushes.

I crawled back across the bed to the lavatory and got a towel to kneel on, collecting the jagged glass and ceramic shards in my nightgown.

“Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of white?” Haily said, leaning against the broom with a sigh. “Tip them into here.”

I carefully moved the pouch of fragments into the dustpan she held out, noticed the cuts they’d made on my hand, and picked a tiny glass piece out of my thumb to dump it with the rest.

“Should I get Morris?” she asked.

I shook my head, going with the first idea that came to mind to fix this. “Could I please get a satchel?”

“Yes, ma’am, one satchel,” Haily said, then mumbled something only a little quieter. “If it’ll get you to stop being such a mopey…”

I deserved their criticism, especially from her. Janette thought she understood my overreaction to the other night’s events, but the others were starting to lose their sympathy for my sulking. Telling them I was responsible for the death seemed out of the question, and I worriedly analysed every time someone had seen me with an animal and if they thought I could communicate with them.

It was plausible, thought they’d then also need to know I could tell what spell Aisling had been about to use.

The sink ran red, and I deposited another few fragments into it as I tried to wash the blood off. I changed with the few fingers devoid of cuts into the first pair of pants and sweater I found.

“Here,” Haily said, holding out a leather satchel with a shoulder strap.

I started shoveling the rest of my silver and bronze into it, my coat and a change of clothes. I didn’t bother collecting my little positions with Haily watching over me and was sure I’d return at some point.

“Want to tell me where you’re going, ma’am?”

“Away for a while,” I said curtly and felt guilty immediately. “An inn just down the street.”

“Ah, ha. Well, sit down and let me deal with the cuts first,” she said, stepping in my way when I tried to go past. “Sit.”

I was sure I’d grown a bit, and the girl only came up to my chin now. I still stepped back and fell onto the bed. Haily brought out a piece of cotton wool and a familiar potion in a vial. I splayed out my hands and prepared myself for the stinging sensation that would follow, but I still almost started stomping my foot the first time the soaked wool made contact.

“Yeah, yeah,” Haily muttered. “Almost done, ma’am.”

“I’m really sorry for throwing the plant at you.”

She finished dabbing the last cut. “Older sisters are used to having things thrown at them, though they’re usually more plush.”

“I didn’t know you had siblings,” I said.

“Just the one, little sister. You, though, seem like an only child.”

“Which means what?”

She looked up at me through her long eyelashes from where she was leaning over my hand. “Nothing at all, ma’am. All done.”

I slung the satchel over my shoulder. “Thank you.”

“I’ll at least have to tell Yanla where you’re going,” she said, to which I shrugged and made my way out of the palace, hoping not to run into anyone I’d have to explain myself to. I’d wanted to leave and said I was going to the inn on the spur of the moment, so with the lack of a better idea, that was now the plan.

Anywhere was fine as long as I didn’t have someone barging in every hour. They all meant well, but it was all too much for me and worse because I knew I didn’t deserve their concern.

“Valeria!” Sam called as I walked past the bastion. I’d forgotten all about the morning training until I noticed all the mages congregating behind the buildings. Hoping they all wouldn’t notice me while they practised had been wishful thinking.

I let out a warry sigh and tried to smile before turning to face him as he ran up to me. Behind the sweat-drenched Sam was Instructor Daniels, with his arms crossed, looking over from the group gathered around a woman pulling water orbs about.

He turned to follow my gaze. “He’s not too happy with you at the moment.”

“I heard.”

“Were you at the gambling house with the duke?” Sam asked. “Saw what happened in the papers this morning—gruesome stuff. You get used to seeing it happen to other beasts, but you never think it’ll happen to trained fighters like that, just awful. Father reckons it might even affect the election of the owners.”

In my life of reading and the few years I’d been able to talk with people other than my mother, I’d learnt I was terrible at talking and even worse at comforting people. I never knew what to say or do. Still, I at least liked to think my silence was better than this.

Maybe it wasn’t their fault. I felt like this was all about me because I’d caused it. To them, it was a freak accident to look away from and excuse, discuss the implications and causes of, not treat one of the hundred spectators that had witnessed it with special care and consideration.

It was right for me to leave for a while.

“Yeah, awful.”

“Instructor Daniels wants to talk with you a moment,” he said. “Might get more agitated if we keep him waiting.”

I didn’t object and sullenly followed behind Sam to the waiting jaws of instructor Daniels.

“Sir,” I said after Sam left me to rejoin the group of trainees, all trying to form their own water orbs. Instructor Daniels ignored me in favour of watching the practice. Instructor Hays, here to teach mana technique, was pulling together water orbs from the air around her with a spell and spinning them in different directions around her.

She kept her hands behind her back the whole time as four orbs ended up orbiting her.

“You all know what water is and how it exists in the air around us,” she said to the struggling students. “Having a clear idea of what exactly you're trying to accomplish during and after casting makes it more mana efficient, more so for a continuous spell like this. See, instead of trying to control all the water, I’m only affecting the outer edges and letting the surface tension do the rest.”

I turned to Instructor Daniels to ask what surface tension was, except his frown and furrowed brows reminded me he was not in the best mood to ask. “You skipped my training, Twig. Thrice now.”

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

“Sir, I told Commander Faraya about it…we didn’t think I would benefit from this.” Something I was reconsidering already after only a minute of watching.

“You don’t go over my head. You come to me to discuss that, and I’ll decide. Does it look like I’m too occupied to teach archery instead?”

“No, sir.”

“Ah,” Instructor Hays said, still controlling the water. “Is this the one that makes the dirt step stools?”

I ignored the snickering going on behind her. “Yes?”

“Why didn’t you feel there would be any benefit to attending my sessions?” she asked.

The anger that I’d pushed away after snapping at Haily started creeping back into my chest. “I didn’t think there would be anything for me to learn since—”

“You don’t think I have anything valuable to teach you?” she said with a scowl. “Must have been quite a sum the tax payers spent on tutors. Why don’t you show us what you can do then?”

“My mana isn’t substantial enough to—” I tried to say the line Jeremy had taught me if anyone asked me to show them a spell, but she cut me off again.

“The freecasting I’ve heard about you showing off takes more mana than a basic spell,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I heard you still use physical gestures for it, too. Maybe you do need instruction?”

My sorrow at what transpired had been slowly turning to anger over the hours I spent tossing and turning in bed with nothing else to think about. Anger at the duke for getting us there. At the cat-sìth for not making her murderous aims clear. The mercenaries for fighting animals in the first place. The barons for putting it all together. At Aisling for making mud.

Anger at myself.

Unlike Haily, Hays felt like a better target to take it out on. So, I grabbed the water around her, breaking the thin string of mana that connected the spell. All the spheres completed their arch to end at a single point above her head. She barely got to look confused before it was forcefully dumped over her.

I waited a moment to feel some sense of elation, but just like with getting back at Clair, it didn’t make me feel any better. I stalked off before she could do more than gasp and sputter.

I put on a smile for the outer gate knights and apologised for not being able to get them lunch when they asked. The city was alive as usual, which was something I hadn’t expected for some reason.

I’d imagined hushed whispers about the reprehensible display at the arena, calls for the cat-sìth to be executed, or the gambling house to be burnt down.

Looking around at all the normalcy made me feel naive at the expectation the city would be affected because of one mercenary’s death.

The inn I had gone to before was no exception and was busy with similarly dressed people as before rushing in and out, bar Brenda and her missing coin. Even the healer boy was set up at the same table, and I thought about getting him to rid me of the itchy scratches still healing on my hands, if not for the difficulties even Morris faced in dealing with me.

One table had a man sitting in contradiction to the hustle and bustle going on around him. His feet were up, and his tea was sitting without any steam wafting off. He turned through the pages of a newspaper, fully reading each before moving on. The top page had a blurry image of mages rushing around the mercenaries with big, bold text above it.

Fiasco at a ducal night out. Elven mercenary dies after encounter with claws.

Baron Tiscar and Olivihier issue condolences to the family and pledge stricter guidelines around future person-involved fights, which will be cancelled for the season. Replaced by beast fights for the time being.

I stopped myself from getting into how my actions caused more beast fights, twisting the knife in my gut. Turning away, I dug into the satchel for the roe needed for a week's stay, which was most of what I had left, and went up to the counter. “Hello.”

“One moment,” the barkeep said, handing off full steaming plates I watched disappear into the crowded room.

“I’m looking to find a place to stay for the week?”

“At occupancy until people clear out this morning,” she said. “Leave one of those silvers, and I’ll save a room for you later. Name?”

I slid over the coin. “Val.”

She scribbled the name down on a ledger and turned back around for more plates. I was stuck for a moment until I had to move out of someone's way, leaving the inn when it happened again, twirling around in the street now that my one and only plan after running away was delayed.

A few options crossed my mind: looking to see if the building Jay hid out in was still being used or checking on the gambling house.

Neither was appealing in the slightest.

I kept a hand over the satchel as I waded through the streets, careful not to get it taken by Alister or any similarly unsavoury individuals. For a moment, I wanted to go back and lay in my hammock, read a book and let the day pass. However, the idea of being disturbed while doing so, or worse, walking back past while the training was still going on, kept me on my current path to the only other place of greenery I knew was nearby.

It took a few wrong turns to get back to the park outside Yis’ house since the last time I’d come it was dark and I’d been running away without a care about remembering where I turned.

The pak was as large as a length of street, including the buildings. Blankets were set out, and people were lounging on them with food bought at the nearby stands.

Children tried, with minimal effort, not to run across them during their games. However, sometimes, not being tagged was a bigger risk, and I watched one boy narrowly dodge a pie on his way through.

I found a tree to sit up against next to a rounded clearing with a football game going on, the places to score denoted by by wood polls and a woven net rather than fence posts.

There was less running around by the players, seemingly dressed specifically for the activity with snug shoes and a ball that looked like a leatherworker spent years making it.

I got a few looks from those who were idle and waiting for the ball, one girl staring for longer than the others. “We need another if you want to join.”

She was looking and waving in my direction, and no one else was around except me. My first instinct was to deny the invitation, but it didn’t seem like the worst distraction. I got up and placed the satchel strap on the other side of my neck to better secure it.

The girl seemed familiar as she held out a hand in for me to shake. “You fine with playing in the back?”

I nodded since it was the only place I’d ever played in, and she motioned for one of the boys in the back to move more to the centre to open up a space for me. “What name should I shout when I want you to pass me the ball?”

“Val, and you?”

She smiled brightly and tilted her head to the side. “Laily…didn’t we dance together?”

“And ran away together for a while,” I said, understanding why she was familiar. Her different hairstyle and baggy clothing had made it take too long to realise.

“Yeah, did you end up making it out okay?”

“Laily! We’re down two as long as you keep chatting,” the player beside us shouted while keeping his eyes on the ball.

“Maybe after,” Laily said and pointed me towards my place to the side of the goals.

I kept my eyes on the ball as it bounced around and enjoyed the morning breeze. It came rolling over to me a few times, and I tried my best not to fumble around too much before kicking it off towards Laily ahead of me.

No one barged into me or tripped me up. However, I did let pass a goal that the opposing player had tapped between my legs to score. I felt guilty for a moment, but unlike back in the town, this game seemed more relaxed, with the score not even being kept.

Out loud, at least. I was sure someone was still keeping track.

It ended when Laily and most of the participants needed to change for their classes, and a younger group of kids wanted to use the field to play their own game.

Laily invited me to come back tomorrow, and I told her I’d try since it was a more appealing invite than training with Instructor Daniels and finding out what mess my second outburst of the day had got me.

I lay back in the grass, feeling a bit stuffy from running around in a sweater and wondering if Jacob and Greyson would be playing the same game later.

…

My eyes were only closed for a moment before a familiar sensation on my cheek woke me up. I shielded my eyes from the overhead sun and turned to Sweeka, who decided they could climb onto me now that I was awake.

“Arg,” I groaned. “You’re heavier than you look.”

A tail swished into my face for longer than necessary as she twirled around on my sweater, settling down, tucking all her limbs underneath her, and leaning her chin on my chest.

I checked my satchel was still around and placed an arm behind my head to get more comfortable.

…

The shoe that prodded me awake next was less than welcome, but I at least knew who it was from Sweeka before I cracked open an eyelid to face my attacker.

“You look like crap,” Yis said. “Did you stay up all night trying to catch a street cat?”

I lifted my hand from where it rested on Sweeka and looked at the cuts surrounded by the dried ointment Haily had put on. “Picking up glass.”

“I don’t even know which is worse… You run away from home again?”

“Yes,” I mumbled, propping myself up on my elbows without disturbing the sleepy animal still on my stomach.

Sweeka yawned, which made me start to do so as well.

I checked my shoulder to see if Yis’ shiny shoes left behind polish where he’d nudged me, but my stiff neck stopped me. To go with the shoes was a faded knight’s uniform, with the sword that hung above the mantle at his waist.

“Well, my couch is closed for the night, so you’re going to have to find another poor sap to take you in. And can you stop trying to steal my companion away?”

“I have a plan already; maybe she’s mad at you.” I didn’t add that it was for not letting her sleep on the bed last night.

Yis scoffed. “She’s just grumpy I won't let her on all the furniture. When you get up and find your nice yellow sweater turned green and black, you’ll know why.”

I took the guilty feeling coming from Sweeka as confirmation of that. “Going somewhere?”

“I’ve been invited to the opera by a few friends,” Yis said and dug his shoe in my side again. “Wipe that confused look off your face. I have plenty of friends and you should be worrying about yourself.”

“I spent time with…some people earlier,” I said in defence of my confused expression. “Can I come with?”

“It’s three hours long.”

“Okay,” I said, not finding an issue with that. They had to be long otherwise there was no way an entire murder mystery book could take place during one.

“You’ll be surrounded by a bunch of retired people…You won’t like the music…The story will be confusing…Fine, you can come, but you’re looking after Sweeka.”