It was barely five in the morning, but Hiruzen Sarutobi was already seated in his trusty armchair.
The early hours had become his time for quiet contemplation before the village awoke.
Yesterday, his surrogate grandson had officially joined the ANBU—on paper at least.
The real initiation, including medical and psychological evaluations before his trial run, was yet to commence.
It marked a day since the Sandaime's nights had dwindled to no more than five restless hours.
The realization of this new chapter in Naruto's life brought both pride and concern to Hiruzen.
As he sat behind the venerable mahogany desk crafted by the Shodaime's mokuton, Hiruzen distractedly prepared his pipe, his gaze lost on the surface of the desk.
Each wear mark on the wood told a story. He ran his fingers over a large gash, recalling it had been carved by his sensei, the Nidaime, during a rare moment of anger—an anger that had terrified Kumo and indirectly contributed to starting the Second Shinobi War.
A war Tobirama Senju did not survive.
The desk was now cluttered with various papers.
Not an overwhelming amount—after all, he had secretaries and a functioning administration—but enough to occupy more space than the aged Hokage preferred.
Still, it wasn't the paperwork that unsettled him this morning.
Hiruzen knew it was an honest waste of time to review the mostly excellent work of people he trusted, but what truly weighed on his mind was not the administrative duties. He knew Naruto had visited his family's estate just yesterday, and this stirred a mix of emotions within him.
Hiruzen sighed, allowing himself a brief moment to feel the full weight of his regrets before he firmly controlled his emotions. He wanted everything to be alright, for Naruto. Yet, he knew all too well that these things took time and that the young ninja needed to navigate his feelings at his own pace.
It did not sit well with Hiruzen to simply let these events unfold without his guidance, yet he also recognized the importance of allowing Naruto the space to grow. As the Hokage puffed on his pipe, filling the room with the scent of his tobacco, his thoughts lingered on the fine balance between protecting Naruto and letting him seek his own path especially now with the hidden dangers that lurked in these walls.
Hiruzen had averted his gaze with his three students in the past.
One had become an old teenager with confidence issues, another a gambling, bitter drunk, and the last had betrayed the village and turned missing-nin.
He still refused to look, lacking the courage to face them.
It all amounted to courage.
Courage to acknowledge acts that pointed to a truth no man would be keen to admit. Despite all his strength and qualities, despite all his success, Hiruzen Sarutobi had failed, arguably where it had been most important.
The old man felt like a puppet hung by too many strings, entangled within them. He had never had the courage to face Jiraiya and admit that yes, Orochimaru had been his favorite.
Regret lingered that he couldn't be there for Jiraiya, couldn't be the sensei he should have been.
He had never been able to face Tsunade and admit that yes, her medic program would have been possible, but he did not really believe in it.
He had been too trusting of Konoha's traditional superiority to consider warfare-changing endeavors.
He had never been able to face Orochimaru and tell him it was not his fault Nawaki had died, and Tsunade was devastated.
Would it be a repeat of that with Naruto? Was it not already happening?
He had weaved lies after lies, refusing to reveal the truth, first to protect the boy, then for fear of being hated.
At least this time, he was forced to finally act.
To finally speak.
Many questions remained, but many were answered enough for the boy to understand, even though he had all the reason to be angry, to be hateful, to be weak like so many people.
Weak enough that when they get hurt, they attack others.
But the boy was stronger, much stronger. He was willing to understand, to listen. There was still anger in the boy's eyes, but it was now contained within understanding.
Would Naruto have turned out differently if I chose not to speak, if I let my fears hold me down?
Hiruzen rubbed his tired eyes.
What had the Nidaime seen in him that fateful night?
Had Hiruzen's own boast of being able to ward off the Kumo shinobi been just that? Where was the bravery he had felt coursing through his veins then, ready to face certain death so that his precious teammates could escape with their lives?
His sensei had called it the Will of Fire, but had it truly been that?
Was the philosophy that had guided Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha a glorified rewording of the needs of the few against the needs of the many?
Why would the kanji for "Will" be so similar to the kanji for "Shinobi" if it were that simple?
The Professor knew full well it was not so.
Why was Hiruzen having an existential crisis this late in his life?
It was a moot point now.
He had been committed to his various mistakes and could not solve the mess he had created.
"Naruto-kun," provided a helpful part of his mind.
The sacrifice of each individual person was expected, but the village was a whole and it gave back what had been lost or at least endured with you.
Why had he allowed it to be different for Naruto? Had his Will of Fire truly been extinguished?
"That'd be fair. I'm old. I'm ash. I should be the soil from which the young tree draws his strength," thought the Sandaime before he grimaced.
If things were like that, why had he allowed Naruto to live this life?
When had he grown complacent to allow the hate to fester and grow?
Naruto had always been welcomed by the Sarutobi clan; Hiruzen had made sure of that, but couldn't he have done more?
He had facilitated the good of the many.
He had reduced the Will of Fire to a travesty of what it truly was.
He had accused the villagers of losing their own fire the other day but had done nothing to rekindle the flames.
He had accepted the distrust, the fear, the anger to grow.
The simple thought of such treatment happening to any of his sons, daughters, or grandchildren was chilling, and yet, by staying put, he had permitted it to happen to Naruto.
Yes, he had made laws that stopped the dialogue, but that hadn't changed much. Couldn't he have hidden Naruto from the public for years so that Naruto didn't experience it?
He could have ensured that Naruto had a family, a civilian family that didn't know of Naruto's existence.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
There were enough medical ninjas that could graft a new face—a new identity for Naruto.
He could have...
So many solutions that would have given Naruto a life of peace and love came to his mind.
Minato wanted Naruto to be a hero, but Hiruzen knew that Minato would have been much happier if Naruto had grown up in these hypothetical scenarios in his mind.
So why didn't he do it?
Was it to honor Minato's wishes?
Was it...
A memory Hiruzen had thought buried jumped to the forefront of his mind.
The glazed, mad, fiery red eyes; the bloodlust of the Kyuubi that had him, The Professor, rooted in place; the powerful swing of a tail, obliterating all that stood under it; the rain of corrosive, ichor-like chakra; the shake of the earth; the brimstones and ashes.
The towering form of the Kyuubi, devastating, all-powerful, unstoppable, looming over Konoha like a man would over an insignificant anthill.
Hiruzen felt a wave of shame and horror surge within him, compelling him to let the unlit pipe fall from his fingers to the ground. He buried his face in his hands, refusing to look deeper, afraid to peer into the somber gunk that layered the bottom of his soul.
He feared what reasons he might discover there—resentment fueled by grief, or perhaps something even more callous.
Forcing himself from these tormenting thoughts, bile rose in his throat.
Once again, he lacked the courage to face someone, and this time, it was himself.
His weary eyes lifted to one of the four portraits lining the right wall of his office—a color photo of a young man with blond, spiky locks and azure blue eyes, a light smile on his sharp face, the Hokage Hat resting on his head.
"Below courage, there is nothing, huh, Minato?" the Sandaime whispered to himself, his face contorting in a grimace of anguish.
"Well, it seems like you were wrong for once. There are regrets just below."
Hiruzen's gaze fell lamely back to the desk. The windmill outside his window was starting to move again; his time was drawing near.
Would he depart for the pure lands without ever fixing anything?
Would he become a ghost chained to this earth by his remorses?
Would he be the first of his line to be denied the honors of joining Son Goku's retinue?
The words of Dragon echoed in his head: "You are a coward."
Anger replaced shame at the thought. He was. In the books, he would be remembered as The Professor, but to those who knew him, he would just be that—the Coward.
The man who could not bear to fail as he was so accustomed to success.
The man who couldn't even protect his grandson because of what?
His fist crashed down on the desk, and he growled behind clenched teeth, his closed eyes shedding bitter, burning tears.
It was time to make things right.
It was time for the Coward to disappear so that only the Professor remained.
A knock at the door broke his reverie. "Hokage-sama, the Genin Team Assignment Meeting is in 15 minutes, and you asked me to remind you about the changes you made," Miki said.
Hiruzen smiled faintly, remembering the innovative ideas Iruka had suggested in his notes—so impressive that he was eager to implement them, unlike his failure with Tsunade's medical innovations.
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[ Hokage Tower ]
Asuma couldn't believe he was actually doing this.
He was about to train a team of Genins, all because of a lie he'd told to impress Kurenai.
Asuma had planned either to fail the Genins outright or just not show up. But now, with Kurenai not talking to him because they'd pretended to be a couple in front of Gai—a scheme that irked him since it had been her idea,and now she was mad at him—he had to play this charade out.
Asuma sighed deeply as he walked into the tower.
The procedure for getting a Genin team was straightforward: fill out some paperwork, head to the announcement hall, and pick from the recommended team list made by the Hokage or ask for a custom team.
There was even a giant list displaying the grades of the graduated academy students alongside their names and placements in the academy.
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The announcement hall was a large, echoey room with tall ceilings and banners displaying various virtues hanging from the walls.
At the far end was the monumental list of Genins and a small podium with stacks of team cards.
Asuma gave his paperwork to the attendant and then headed towards the list, his steps echoing slightly on the polished stone floor.
As he approached, Asuma raised an eyebrow in surprise at the sight before him. There, engrossed in the list, was Kakashi Hatake.
Kakashi's distinctive silver hair spiked upwards, and his forehead protector stylishly covered his left eye.
His outfit consisted of a dark blue uniform paired with a green flak jacket, pockets brimming with ninja tools.
Known as the Copy Ninja, Kakashi was one of the strongest in Konoha.
What was truly shocking was Kakashi's expression of disbelief as he scanned the list.
It wasn't the usual boredom that characterized his tall frame; instead, he looked genuinely perplexed, his eye darting through the names as if searching for something—no, someone—he couldn't find.
"Kakashi, ready to fail another team?" Asuma joked as he approached, knowing well Kakashi's infamous record of taking on Genins every year only to fail them for not meeting his high standards.
Kakashi switched up so fast and so smoothly that Asuma blinked, and Kakashi was back to ignoring the list, now engrossed in his small orange book.
Asuma snorted in amusement as he moved to check the Genin list himself.
Then he noticed it—someone was missing. Naruto.
"Are you going to ask the Hokage why Naruto isn't on the list?" Asuma asked, a hint of concern threading through his voice.
"Did you say something?" Kakashi replied, his tone casual, his attention still partly on his book.
Asuma sweatdropped, realizing that Kakashi was clearly affected by something but wasn't showing much.
"So, what team are you going to fail this time?" Asuma pressed, watching as Kakashi picked up a random team card and coolly walked away without another word.
"Looks like you weren't just talking big," a feminine voice teased.
Asuma turned to see Kurenai approaching, her tone light but carrying a hint of irony. He offered a wry smile and shrugged.
"Hey, what can I say? I like kids," Asuma responded, then immediately winced at how his words sounded out loud.
"Right," Kurenai drew out the word, her eyebrow arching as she scanned through the Genin team cards.
A frown creased her pretty face, making Asuma curious despite himself.
"Something wrong?"
Kurenai ignored his question and briskly walked away, muttering, "Guess, I am going to have to go with the custom team option."
Her abrupt departure left Asuma standing there confused.
He glanced down at the table strewn with team cards. With a resigned sigh, he picked up a random card. He wasn't particularly invested since he planned to fail the team anyway.
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The atmosphere in the announcement hall was thick with tension as Hiruzen Sarutobi entered.
Every Jonin present snapped to attention, sensing the shift in the room's usual protocol.
"Attention to all respected Jonins in this room," Miki, the secretary, announced. "Hokage-sama has decided to change the structure of this meeting from a quick 20-minute briefing to an hour-long discussion. Jonins who have selected their Genin teams, please step up and reveal your teams and the reason you want to lead this team alongside everyone else who opposes this."
Confusion murmured through the room, an undercurrent of surprise at the departure from the usual process.
Typically, Jonins would simply state their intent to lead a team, the Hokage would make a note, and if any customizations were needed, they would be decided on the spot by the Hokage.
"I believe everyone here understands the importance of their role in Konoha's future," Hiruzen added, his voice calm yet firm as his gaze swept across the room's top brass. His eyes paused on Asuma, and a flicker of regret passed through him. Their relationship had been strained, their conversations few and far in between; it was no wonder that Asuma might act independently without prior discussion.
"Good luck," Hiruzen silently wished his son, though he kept his thoughts to himself.
He continued aloud, "Before we begin this, I would like to announce that this time, the Genin team cards have been altered, with multiple Genin teams having the same Genin. This is to encourage you all to think about this."
His gaze landed briefly on Kakashi, who merely looked up from his novel for a moment before returning to his reading.
"A Jonin leading a team of Genins is an investment, but a Genin represents Konoha's future," Hiruzen declared, his voice imbuing the statement with weight and solemnity. "So, I encourage you all to fight for the future of Konoha."
As Hiruzen finished speaking, the room filled with a renewed sense of purpose. Most of the Jonins, except for Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai, started checking their Genin team cards more thoroughly, likely reassessing their choices and strategies.
"Let's begin this," Hiruzen said, nodding towards Kurenai to step forward and start the proceedings.
Hiruzen watched attentively as Kurenai expressed her desire to lead a custom team consisting of Hinata Hyuga, Shino Aburame, and Kiba Inuzuka.
"I believe these three can make a formidable tracker team," she stated confidently.
Hiruzen nodded, his eyes scanning the room for any objections. It was a significant proposal, especially since all three were children of clan heads, making them highly sought after on many Genin team cards. Surprisingly, no one opposed Kurenai's suggestion except Hiruzen himself.
"Kurenai, you are a genjutsu specialist. Wouldn't it be better for you to take on students that you can help in the field of genjutsu, like Sakura Haruno? She is a top academic student with such perfect control over her chakra that she was able to complete the tree walking exercise on her first try."
Whispers echoed through the hall, many Jonins puzzled over why an academy student was performing tree walking.
Kurenai hesitated, wanting to speak her mind but aware of the valid point Hiruzen had raised.
Her true motive for choosing this team was Hinata.
A year ago, she had connected with the shy girl when Hiashi hired her to train Hinata's Byakugan using genjutsu as a stimulant. Kurenai saw potential in Hinata and wanted to foster an environment where she could thrive, away from the stifling atmosphere of the Hyuga clan.
Feeling a reassuring hand on her shoulder, Kurenai turned to see Asuma encouraging her to speak up. Grateful, she adjusted her proposal.
"Hokage-sama, I believe I can replace Kiba Inuzuka with Sakura Haruno while keeping Hinata Hyuga and Shino Aburame to create a team capable of casting and detecting genjutsu."
"Hokage-sama, both of your custom teams included Hinata and Shino," Hiruzen noted, his eyes narrowing slightly.
"Can you tell me why?"
Kurenai explained her intentions regarding Hinata, and Hiruzen listened intently.
After a moment, he spoke, "While your act can be summed up as a noble gesture, your custom team is rejected. However, worry not, I am sure many of your colleagues have the capabilities to create an environment that can help Hinata grow. For now, you can go back and select a Genin team that truly benefits from learning the art of Genjutsu."
Kurenai felt the sting of rejection but nodded, stepping back to allow another Jonin to step forward.
"Don't worry, it'll be alright," Asuma reassured her, trying to lighten the mood.
Curious, Kurenai asked, "What Genin are you going to teach?"
Asuma glanced at the random card he had picked earlier, his eyes widening in surprise. "Hinata Hyuga—Kiba Inuzuka—Sasuke Uchiha," Asuma read aloud, then muttered under his breath, "Shit," realizing the challenge he now faced in passing these three, since Kurenai won't forgive him considering she took such a huge risk just for Hinata.
Meanwhile, Kakashi, who had been observing quietly from the sidelines, looked at his own Genin team card:
Ino Yamanaka, Choji Akimichi, Shikamaru Nara.
"Hn," he commented nonchalantly before returning to his book, seemingly unfazed by the selection as he continued reading where he had left off.