Umino Iruka knew that what he was doing was wrong.

There was a major risk to it, considering he was not an eccentric higher tier jonin like Hatake Kakashi, who could simply smile off his transgressions through a masked façade and a lazy, asinine excuse. He knew it in his heart that it was wrong, doubly so given his post as a teacher of young corruptible minds, and he knew that his reputation could take a severe nosedive like a rare Earth Country Eagle swooping down and snatching an unsuspecting lamb suckling at the breasts of its mother.

There was a very real risk involved, which of course included some of the rather more prudish kunoichi, who would henceforth regard him like a maggot that had emerged from the excreta of a worm upon discovering the nature of the act. His place in society would be condemned forever, and he would be unable to do as much as stare into the eyes of clerks when he bought his groceries without hearing hushed whispers and condemning judging looks.

Regardless of all of this, he sat on the stall of the Konoha Academy's male staff bathroom, giggling away as his fingers gently turned aside another page, enjoying the feel of the paper, and ignoring the dribble of blood that emerged from his left nostril.

It was a new Icha Icha novel, and he'd be damned if he didn't read it.

"Kazama-san you sly dog... grabbing Rashina-chan and Nikoto-chan?"

It was a guilty pleasure stretching slowly into the realms of a bubbling obsession with the book. He had begun reading the previous night, promising himself to only go about thirty pages before stopping and then getting some sleep so he could wake up bright and early and have more energy to shout at his usual brand of annoying brats. Of course, 'thirty minutes' later and there was the sound of a rooster crowing as beads of sunlight burst through his window, only drawing his attention because of the manner in which they had landed on a particular... feisty paragraph in the book, and making the Chunin instructor realize his folly.

He had been expecting it to be a horrible start to a day, but imagine his surprise on getting to class and meeting it quiet, completely removing the need for him to actually exert more energy shouting at the top of his voice in order to get the normally rambunctious brats listening to him.

Not to mention the fact that they all seemed eager to learn!

For once, all the students in the class were all at the edge of their seats, furiously scribbling and answering at his questions with the accuracy and speed of a master archer who had been blessed with an arrow-creation kekkai genkai. Everyone seemed eager and even impatient! As though they finally realized that they were not learning as much as they normally could be and wanted to absorb as much as possible in one day!

Hell, even Sasuke answered questions in class!

And Kiba was quiet all through!

Iruka could only attribute this legendary stroke of fortune on his end to the gods of erotica finally granting him blessings for being a loyal and devout follower. Hence, he had decided to repay them by continuing to read their holy scriptures, which was of course delivered by their anointed one, the Toad Sannin of Konoha.

It was lunch break for now however, and he knew he only had a few minutes of reading, and as long as he was able to allow his fingers rub the sharp edged pages and hardback spine, allow his nose take in a further decent whiff of the crispy smell of newly made paper, and allow his eyes to roam over the artistic masterpiece written in words, then he was suitably satisfied.

The day seemed to be getting better by the second, and so far, nothing could ruin it!

He froze, a shudder running down his spine as he stood up from the seat and closed the book. He peered out the stall, towards the windows, and paid close attention to any sound he could hear.

Okay, that was close. For a second he believed he might have tempted fate and just invited some sort of great catastrophe upon himself by uttering those dreaded, often ironic words.

"Calm down Iruka, you've just been reading too many novels lately... I mean, what are the odds that saying 'nothing can ruin this day' would actually cause something ironic that would happen and prove my words wrong? This is real life..."

Still, he put the book in his pocket and opened the staff door, peeking to ensure that there were no hordes of angry kunoichi about to lynch him for reading erotica in the Academy while he was on duty.

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Sighing, he closed it and turned around.

"Chunin Umino Iruka."

Umino Iruka saw death.

Umino Iruka saw death in the form of purple hair, and an unmistakable cat ANBU mask.

He did not respond, instead, he made a large, tiring sigh, before he slowly closed the book with a thick snap, and then he pocketed it. Calmly, he got unto his knees, and then bent his head lowly.

"My only request is that you make it quick and painless."

He kneeled in that notion for several seconds, waiting constantly for the blade that would cleave his neck for his actions, only to blink in surprise when, after numerous seconds, it did not come.

He flicked his head upwards back at the woman, the ANBU operative that was code-named Neko, and yet, despite not being able to see her face, he could tell that she was clearly amused by the entire display.

"Are you finished?"

He blinked, once, twice. Then, realization that the woman was not about to execute him for reading Icha Icha in the privacy of the male bathroom dawned upon him, and he leaped up to his feet, coughing awkwardly.

"Ah - of course - ANBU-san, I - er - I was just... practicing... for a recital... a play - or musical - about the honorable death of a samurai - ha - ha -"

Maybe she really should kill him, if only for how pathetic that excuse had sounded.

"What you do in your free time is of little to no interest to me Umino-san," she said crisply "And you are clearly too timid to attempt corrupting a student, so I have no need for concern."

Iruka winced at the "timid". He honestly didn't know if he should feel relieved, flattered, or greatly insulted.

"I am here on the orders of Hokage-sama. Yamanaka Inoichi believes that someone could have been tampering with the student's records, scores and exams. Most particularly in case of bias against the student, Uzumaki Naruto."

All at once, Iruka's form straightened, and he was instantly all-business.

"That's - well, I know that some teachers may not particularly get along with him, but I don't think anyone would go as far as to -"

"Unfortunately what you think does not matter. What matters is that I have been given a task to accomplish, and you will aid me in accomplishing it."

Iruka took a step back uncertainly. He knew that the ANBU weren't exactly the most friendly of individuals, considering the lives they lived which included witnessing and committing gruesome acts of murder, assassinations, and sometimes, even genocides.

Still, he felt that the woman was just a tad bit rude.

"Hokage-sama requested that I meet you, and stressed the importance of discretion in this task. You are to gather every test script, every record, every paper or document in relation to Uzumaki Naruto and his classmates and you are to hand it over to me without drawing attention to yourself." She said in one quick, brisk and formal breath.

"Are you up to the task?"

Iruka's nose rumpled up. All at once, the reason as to why the woman had decided to ambush him in the male bathroom made much more sense. Still, he found himself confused, wondering why there was need for all the secrecy - it was just a couple of assignments and exam scripts, not documents detailing all the concubinatus possessed by the Daimyo's wife.

"I don't get it, why all the mystery -"

"Because this mission is technically classified."

Iruka scowled.

"Classified?"

"Classified." She repeated again, though with a noticeable strain in her voice. "This is why I do not quite get along with shinobi in administrative positions - years spent in an unchallenging, unchanging environment ultimately dulls your skills."

"Excuse me?"

"What would happen if an ANBU operative were to walk into the Academy and ask for a compiled scripts of students on orders from the Hokage? Amongst whom, are Seven Clan Heirs to the most notable clans in Konoha: the Yamanaka, Nara, Akimichi, Inuzuka, Hyuga, Aburame, and the last Uchiha?"

Iruka blinked.

"A reason for this would be demanded, and if the reason is given as an "investigation", the question will be asked as to what is the purpose of the investigation, which will bring into the light the matter of a suspected bias of a teacher against a student, and therefore suggest the possibility of foul play in the administration of the Konoha Shinobi Academy."

Iruka stared.

"W-what?"

"What would you say if you were accused of elevating the clan heirs and giving them special attention over the rest of your students, allowing them to have better grades and scores?"

He immediately flared.

"T-that's preposterous! I would never do anything like that -"

"I am aware of that," she stated, "However, the civilian populace are not. In their perspective, if one teacher is capable of letting his own personal bias influence him enough to sabotage a student, who is to say, all of them aren't?"

He swallowed dryly.

"I - I hadn't thought about it -"

The ANBU shook her head. "Of course you had not. It is not your job to consider the details and delicacies of the Konohan Socio-Political system. You're just a Chunin."

Never in his entire life, in all his years, had Iruka ever felt his rank feel so inadequate.

"Now, I ask you again, are you up to the task?"

He did not trust himself to be able to speak, and instead, he merely tilted his head up and down.

"Good. After the classes are done for the day, I expect the files to be compiled and ready for collection."

She had vanished in a swirl of leaves that left Iruka standing, in a daze, as he brought up his left hand, and he ran it through his hair.

'Just a Chunin...'

The three words pierced at him with a form of raging heat, and indescribable cold, as though someone had ran him through iceberg that was tipped with magma.

Idly, his gaze flicked over to the Icha Icha book on the ground, and then, he stared into his hand.

The loud echo of the bell broke through the entire Academy, and slowly, mechanically, a machine unhinged, a wound-up toy unleashed, Umino Iruka turned around and walked out of the bathroom.

A brand-new, crisp-clean, hard-cover novel left abandoned to the pristine white floor.