Every day Kochou questioned what was he doing with his life and how he got there.

Every day Kochou laughs in the face of gravity as he leisurely walked vertically up trees and casually walked on top of water. Every day he smiles smugly at the pitiful muggles as he gave physics the middle finger by using his family's infamous Jutsu to make himself taller and gain an extra 50 kg of mass to reach the top shelves as he cooked. The laws of conservation of mass and energy and weeps in defeat as the Akimichi regains his chakra after a quick nap and a couple of burgers.

Still, even he finds himself struggling to overcome the sheer impossible obstacle that was learning Kanji. Seriously, what the actual hell? Why is bending the laws of reality so much easier than learning Japanese?!

It took him a week to learn Shadow Clones, two days to learn tree walking, five for water, three weeks to throw shurikens and kunai with something resembling skill, two months for basic taijutsu, three for doing it on any surface, 17 days for the partial expansion Jutsu, 5 months to get it to an acceptable level to fight without losing his balance, and another month to learn the Rasengan.

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That's 382 days, Shadow Clone spam with Chakra replenishing soldier pills ftw. Barely over one year, while he's been working on learning the language for well over 5 years now. It was ridiculous and he hated it. The only thing he could conceivably hate more would be if his physical development was the same as a toddler back on Earth. Years of doing nothing but drool, shit his pants, and waiting to get fed all day would've caused him to die from sheer boredom or embarrassment long before Madara would have a chance to drop a meteor on his head. 

Thankfully, Chakra was one hell of a drug since anything short of straight-up crippling himself could be healed promptly and it could passively enhance the body too far beyond human capabilities even without intentionally doing so. Explains how Gai and Lee don't end up killing themselves.

Kryptonians and Saiyans aside, he was pretty sure he was the strongest toddle in the universe.

It was just too bad he had to spend a year at the academy to become an actual shinobi... This was going to be a long year.