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Desecrating a Monastery

No one in the party was surprised by the interior of Riven’s apartment. It was all black lace and velvet. Paintings of demons and fairies, most of whom seemed to have placed human women under their thrall, adorned the wall. The furniture looked less like it was meant to be sat on than posed suggestively on. And the huge bookshelves were full of magical tomes and…

“Wow, so you keep your erotica right out in the open?” Andra asked.

“What else would I do? Hide it in my closet like a teenager?” Riven replied.

Hearing this, Kaylen took a close look at the selection of books and picked one up at random, reading its back aloud.

“Captain Melanie Atmos is the most celebrated commander in the entire Star Force. Brave, beautiful, and intelligent, she truly has it all. However on a routine mission, she finds herself captured by the evil alien queen Xandris. Expecting to be tortured for information, she prepares herself for the worst, only to find that Xandris isn’t seeking military secrets, she’s seeking companionship. Can Melanie find a way to escape Xandris’ soft-yet-firm grip? And why does she find herself increasingly curious about the possibility of living as the queen’s pet?

“Hey, can I borrow this?”

“Absolutely,” said Riven. “That’s one of my favorites.”

“Can we focus?” Andra demanded. “Show me the book.”

Kaylen offered the paperback.

“Not that one! The one we came here for!”

Riven shrugged, then selected a large hardcover entitled Basics of Demonology which she handed to Andra. Andra found herself a place on the couch and started flipping through the pages, looking for the entry she needed. Fiona stood behind the couch and tried to read over Andra’s shoulder.

“I don’t know why you need to see it in that book. I already showed you the Magi-net entry,” Riven said.

“Yeah, yeah, you made your magic words appear in your magic book. You could have made those say anything,” Andra replied, not taking her eyes off the book.

“But it’s not like I’m even trying to lie about the fact that they have innate charm magic,” Riven protested. “I was very forthcoming about that.”

“Yeah, but you coming up with a plan to fight a succubus that doesn’t end up with you under her control?” asked Kaylen dryly as she continued to browse Riven’s erotica selection.

“It’s pretty hard to believe,” Fiona agreed.

Andra found the entry she was looking for and read it aloud.

“The succubus takes the form of a human woman of incredible beauty. The only mark of her demonic origins is a pair of demon wings, which can range in size from small and vestigial to large and powerful. While the succubus is most known for her innate charm magic, this power is in fact common to many types of demons. What sets the succubus apart is her ability to take on an intangible form, allowing her to pass through walls to enter the bedrooms of sleeping mortals and drain them of their energy. Despite common myth, the succubus does not have sex with her victims, nor is she a particularly powerful demon unless she amasses a great amount of energy. While vampires are not demons, a common theory of their origin suggests that the first humans to become vampires did so by drinking the blood of a succubus. See also: Incubus.”

“See? Exactly as I described it,” Riven said, nodding conclusively. “Except, I mean, demonic languages don’t really distinguish between succubus and incubus. As far as demons are concerned, they’re the same thing.”

“Alright, fine, we’ll go with your plan,” Andra conceded. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t lying, because this is a huge job. This is only the second demon discovered in Rampart City in recent memory. The fact that it fell to us proves that we’re already making a name for ourselves.”

“That’s kind of weird, though, isn’t it?” Fiona asked, uncertainly. “I mean, this is only our third job. Shouldn’t facing down something like a demon go to one of the more experienced teams?”

Andra waved a hand dismissively. “Obviously whoever assigns the jobs recognizes how good we are.”

“Come to think of it, who does assign jobs?” Kaylen asked. “Is it Marian?”

“No, there’s no way it’s Marian,” said Riven. “She’s just someone the Guild hired to take care of the paperwork. I’m not sure who assigns the jobs. I guess one of the members of the council?”

“It doesn’t matter, because this is our job now and we’re going to crush that demon,” Andra said decisively. “Come on, let’s get to the monastery before the sun goes down.”

----------------------------------------

Lady von Ekko’s Glorious Adventurer Brigade had been hired to eliminate a succubus who was menacing a monastery of the Order of Roolius. The monks of Roolius were forbidden from having sex, and it seemed that being drained of one’s energy by a succubus counted as far as the god Roolius was concerned, since all of the victims had lost their divine powers. This was naturally greatly concerning to the abbot, who had personally visited the Adventurers Guild to hire a team to destroy this demon. Due to the fact that the entire situation was an embarrassment to the Order, the abbot had requested that the job be handled as discreetly as possible, which meant word of a second demon in the city hadn’t yet reached the general public.

Still, Andra found this situation more than a little troubling. Their first encounter with a demon had been a disaster, and they had only survived because of her own talents. Now they were going to be facing another, with a plan that relied heavily on Kaylen. Was this plan really going to work? And why was there another demon around anyway? Was she a spy, too? Was the Demon King planning an invasion? Andra couldn’t seem to shake the thought that she was stepping into something bigger than she understood.

The monastery was found on the outskirts of town, outside of the city walls but still considered part of Rampart City for tax purposes. It was huge and stark and stood alone, the smaller buildings nearby seeming to shy away from it. It must be a dull religion, Andra decided, to have such a dull-looking building. There were no gargoyles or anything.

After some debate about which entrance was correct, the group selected a door and walked in. They were immediately bombarded by the overwhelming scent of incense. It seemed that they had selected right, as they found themselves in a welcome area complete with a sign listing the rules, a donation box, and a nervous-looking middle-aged monk behind a desk.

“Oh, no no. This won’t do at all,” he said as soon as they entered. “Are you supposed to be the adventurers the abbot sent for?”

“That’s us,” Andra announced. “Lady von Ekko’s Glorious Adventurer Brigade.”

The monk shook his head vigorously. “The abbot specifically requested an all-male group. The presence of women in the monastery will distract the other monks from their duties.”

The group shared an uncertain look.

“Oh, well, we’ll stay out of the way,” said Kaylen. “We actually have a plan to catch the demon that’ll only take up one room and a bit of the hallway outside.”

“It’s not just that,” said the monk. “Look, I’m sure you’re all very good at your work, I’m sure you do just fine when it comes to collecting herbs and finding lost cats, but this is a demon we’re talking about. It’s a powerful, dangerous creature. Only men have the strength and temperament to hunt down a monster like that. The abbot said he explained all of this to the woman at the Guild.”

The group shared another look, this one less uncertain.

“I bet that went over well with Marian,” said Riven. “If there’s one thing she hates, it’s misogynists.”

“If they don’t want us, I guess we can leave,” said Andra. “They can request a different team with the Guild.”

“Of course, it’ll take them a few days to process the request and get a new team out here,” said Kaylen. “I’m sure only a couple more monks will be attacked in that time.”

“Although the Guild does have a nondiscrimination policy,” Fiona chimed in. “So the new team might have women on it anyway.”

Andra waved a hand dismissively. “None of that is our problem. We did our due diligence. The ruthless beast defiling this holy place is someone else’s problem now.”

She turned to leave, smirking with satisfaction when the monk inevitably called out “Wait.”

She turned to face him again. “Yes?”

“You say you can take care of it in one night?”

“According to the abbot, the succubus keeps attacking the same five monks in a consistent pattern, right?”

The monk nodded. “Last night was Brother John-with-an-h, so tonight will be Brother Jon-without-an-h.”

“In that case, show us to Brother Jon-without-an-h’s room, please.”

“I would be happy to,” said the monk. “However, before you enter the monastery, you’ll have to change into more appropriate attire.”

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“Huh? What’s wrong with how we’re dressed?” asked Kaylen.

The monk jabbed a boney finger at Andra and Fiona in quick succession. “The two of you are wearing men’s trousers. You’ll have to switch to dresses or skirts.”

“These aren’t men’s,” said Andra. “They’re tailored for me.”

The monk continued, pointing at Kaylen. “You are not only wearing trousers, but you’re dressed in the vestments of the goddess Sanguis, enemy of Roolius.”

“In her defense, Sanguis is the enemy of all male gods,” said Kaylen.

Finally, the monk’s finger fell on Riven. “You are actually dressed appropriately. Though naturally you will have to remove that makeup.”

The party shared a third look.

“My dad always said to respect others’ religions,” said Fiona with uncertainty.

“I don’t respect any religion that doesn’t respect me,” Andra replied.

“So, what?” asked Riven. “We barge in?”

“Barge in!” Kaylen said enthusiastically.

As one, the group started to walk past the desk to the door leading deeper into the monastery. However, the monk scrambled out from behind the desk and blocked their path.

“Absolutely not. You are forbidden from entering the monastery dressed like that.”

“Fiona, darling,” Andra asked sweetly, “would you mind removing this obstacle?”

“No problem, boss,” said Fiona. And she lifted the monk by his collar and set him aside, letting the party continue.

Once they were through the door, the party collectively realized that they hadn’t really thought this through. They were at an intersection of hallways and had no idea which way was Brother Jon-without-an-h’s room. Unwilling to be deterred, Andra selected a random hallway and started marching.

Behind them, the monk followed, still shouting about how they were defiling a holy place.

“Seems to me the succubus is defiling it way more than we are,” Kaylen muttered to a snickering Riven.

Eventually, they found another monk, a younger man, who stared at the group in confusion.

“We’re looking for Brother Jon-without-an-h’s room,” Andra said.

The monk didn’t reply right away, instead glancing between the party and the still-shouting monk from the front desk.

“Oh, fine!” announced the first monk eventually, defeated. “I’ll take you there.”

The monk led the party back the way they came and down another hallway, up two flights of stairs, and eventually to a nondescript door.

“Here it is,” he announced.

“Alright, good. Let Brother Jon-without-an-h know that we’ll be putting him out of his room for the night. I hope his sheets are clean,” said Andra.

“A woman? Laying in a monk’s bed?” the monk sputtered, scandalized for perhaps the fifth time since they’d met him.

Riven groaned. “Just wash the sheets afterwards if it’s such a big deal.”

The monk stared at the group, deciding what to say.

“Off you go,” said Andra, waving him away. “We’ll handle it from here.”

Finally, the monk turned and left and Andra turned her attention on the door. She pushed it open and found that the bedroom was small and tight, with no decorations and barely any room for the bed and a small trunk.

“It’s like a prison cell,” said Kaylen.

Andra shrugged. She did not understand religious people. “Alright, well, hop in, Raven.”

Riven crawled into the bed without bothering to take off her shoes and pulled the covers up to her neck. “How long do you think it’ll be before she appears?”

“Don’t know. Good luck,” Andra said, shutting the door.

The plan was simple enough. Riven would wait in Brother Jon-without-an-h’s place for the succubus to appear. Once they heard her voice, the rest of the party would burst in and Kaylen would use her divine powers to capture or kill the demon before she could escape through the wall. Since Riven would do anything to be hit by a charm spell, having her act as the bait put her in a position where Andra could predict her. If she were anywhere else, there was no guessing what she might do to get the attention of the succubus, but here all she had to do was wait. Or so Andra imagined. However, she had failed to consider that Riven might enchant the door to remain shut no matter how hard it was pushed.

Outside, the party found spots on the floor to sit while they waited for signs of the succubus. “So you aren’t allowed to have sex, huh?” Andra asked Kaylen.

Kaylen scoffed. “Roolians can’t have sex. I’m a Sanguian. Sanguian clergy can have all the sex we want, as long as it’s with women.”

Andra furrowed her brow. “Really? That’s a weird rule.”

“Not really,” said Kaylen. “Sanguis teaches that men are the oppressors of women, and that it’s our duty to live lives as free of men as possible and to work to save other women from the cruelty of the patriarchs. Do you seriously not know about this?”

“I don’t pay much attention to gods,” Andra explained.

“It’s such a cool religion,” Fiona said, starry-eyed.

“I don’t know about that,” Andra said, doubtfully. “It’s still a god telling you what to do.”

“Wait, so do you even have an afterlife planned out?” Kaylen asked.

Andra thought about this for a moment. “My family is old enough that we own property in one of the Deadlands. For most of my life I assumed I’d be spending my afterlife with my ancestors in the True House von Ekko, but I suppose that won’t be happening now. I guess I’ll be venturing into the Great Unknown.”

“I’ve thought about becoming a Sanguian,” said Fiona. “But it feels like I would be asking a lot to be granted entry to a paradise like the Lunar Gardens. Besides, I’m not sure if I’m even mortal. Or if I have a soul.”

“It’s not asking a lot at all,” said Kaylen. “Gods send followers to their paradises all the time. Why would it be asking a lot?”

Andra was more confused about the lack of soul part, but before she could ask any follow-up questions, she heard a sound from inside the bedroom.

A voice shouted “Who are you? Where is Jon?”

Immediately afterward, Riven could be heard saying “Wait, what?” followed by the distinctive crackle of a spell being cast.

As one, the group leapt to their feet. Andra attempted to open the door but found that she couldn’t.

“It’s stuck,” she said. She stepped aside to let Fiona force it open, but Fiona just stood there staring wide-eyed at Andra.

“Open it!” Andra shouted. Fiona tried to push the door open as Andra had, but it remained stuck. Finally, she got the message and rammed into the door with her shoulder. However, it still remained closed.

“Hold on!” Riven called. Then, to the person inside, she said: “Look, everything’s okay. Jon is fine. I’ll explain everything in a second.”

A moment later she called out to the party again: “Okay, you can come in.”

Fiona pushed the door open, revealing that Riven’s visitor was a muscular, shirtless man in extremely tight pants. Huge, batlike wings protruded from his back and his hair was long and curly.

Kaylen, ignoring the plan, shouted “Die, demon!” and began to rush through the door, brandishing her mace. Riven calmly lifted a hand and whispered a magic incantation, sending a wave of magical energy at Kaylen which crashed into her and sent her flying into Fiona, the two collapsing in a heap.

“Please don’t mind her,” Riven told the frightened-looking demon. “We were told you were attacking people, but I’m guessing we were lied to.”

The demon stared wide-eyed at the group in the door and began to slowly step backwards, towards the wall. “I didn’t hurt anyone,” he said. “I’m not here to hurt anyone.”

“What do we do, boss?” Fiona asked, peeling Kaylen off of her and standing. “Attack?”

“No, let’s hear him out,” Andra replied. She fixed the demon with an appraising glare. “If you aren’t attacking these monks, then what are you doing here?”

“Well, the truth is,” the demon said hesitantly, “we’re lovers.”

“Oh, that makes so much more sense!” said Kaylen, who had picked herself up off the floor and was currently trying to fix her mussed hair. “That’s why the supposed victims all lost their powers. I thought that was weird. Roolius is strict, but there’s no way having your energy drained would count as sex. They must have just come up with the story of being attacked as a way to explain why they lost their powers.”

The demon nodded. “I told them to blame me. Since I can move through walls, I figured there was no chance of my being caught.”

“Wait, but why did they claim that they were being attacked by a succubus instead of an incubus?” Fiona asked.

Kaylen shrugged. “Homophobia, I guess. Straight sex is bad, according to Roolius, but gay sex is even worse. It was probably a way of trying to save face.”

“Why would five gay guys become worshippers of a homophobic god?” asked Riven, kicking off the blanket and sitting up. “I mean, Roolians actively proselytize. They’re working to spread that homophobia.”

“Look, try not to judge them too harshly,” said the incubus. “They haven’t had easy lives. They all grew up in the church. Can you imagine growing up thinking you’re a monster?”

Riven raised her hands appeasingly. “Alright, fair enough. Besides, there are more important questions to answer. Like why are there suddenly demons showing up in Rampart City?”

“Well, I can only really speak for myself,” the incubus said. “How much do you all know about the current state of politics over on our continent?”

He looked over the group, who each shook their heads.

“News from your side of the ocean is hard to come by,” Riven explained.

“The whole continent is in chaos,” the incubus explained sadly. “People think the Demon King has gone mad. He’s consolidating all of the demon lords’ armies into a single military force. If anyone objects or refuses, he turns his armies on them. When my lord’s land was invaded, he destroyed all of his contracts, freeing us before the king could claim them. I fled to this continent rather than let the Demon King press-gang me into his service. I figured Rampart City was the farthest place from the Demon King’s grasp, but it’ll reach here soon enough. Everyone says the Demon King is planning to invade.”

The team stared at the demon, collectively stunned into silence. Demons hadn’t fought with mortals since the veil that separated the worlds of the living and the dead had been torn open during the Calamity. In the following centuries, there had been little contact between the mortal-controlled northern continent and the demon-controlled south.

Kaylen was the first to regain her speech. “That’s… bad.”

“Are you kidding?” said Andra. “This is great! We can bring this news straight to the castle! We’ll be heroes! Of course, we’ll have to sort out our lie, first.”

“Lie?” asked Fiona.

“Well, yeah. We can’t exactly explain that we let the demon go because he was nicer than the other demons. How will that make us look? Of course, we can’t say that we failed the mission and the demon got away, either. And if we try to say that we killed the demon and the ‘attacks’ continue, that won’t be any good.”

“Don’t worry about the ‘attacks,’” said the incubus. “I won’t be staying here any longer. If one group of adventurers can find me, then another can. I need to find somewhere else where I can be safe.”

“What about your lovers?” asked Fiona.

The incubus hesitated, staring at nothing in particular while he considered this. He started to speak, but his voice caught. A moment later he tried again. “They’ll have to take care of themselves. I’ve tried to help them see that there’s nothing wrong with being who they are. Hopefully they’ll remember that. But my being around them puts them in danger, too.”

Riven stood and placed a hand on the demon’s shoulder, the demon leaned into her and a moment later they were hugging. “I’m really sorry that we forced you into this situation,” she said.

They stood like that for a few moments while the incubus composed himself, then he broke the hug. “I’d better get going. But before I do, I have a question for you.”

“What is it?” asked Riven.

“When you first surprised me, I instinctively tried to use a charm spell on you, but it didn’t work. Why didn’t it work?”

“Oh,” said Riven, looking uncomfortable. “Look, I’m sure you’re very nice and all, but I’m just not into guys.”