I woke the next day. Having been exhausted enough to sleep through supper, much to the concern of my parents. They kept trying to feed me far too much breakfast, but this was even more than usual. “Not hungry,” I kept signing over and over when they tried to feed me; I really wasn’t that hungry, surprisingly, despite not having eaten a full meal in several days. I did feel a bit weaker than usual, though. Eventually, it culminated in a very angry mother and a compromise of being made to at least sip on a bowl of broth until I was done. I struggled to keep it down though, images flashing through my mind of someone… someone I had done horrible things to. What was his name? Oh god what was his name!?I muttered expletives in my mind over and over again. Trying to control my emotions and keep an existential crisis at bay. My chest hurt, my breath caught in my chest and the world started blurring around me. Why couldn't I remember his name? It felt like an incredibly important part of my mind was simply gone, Forgotten or discarded by my subconscious self. My vision started tunneling, and as soon as I finished the broth it all rose out of my stomach and back into the bowl. Sobbing while my body dry heaved every bit of the liquid out of itself, and then continued even after everything else was evacuated.

It felt like I was sinking. The world twisting around me as my breath caught in my airway. Blocked by the seemingly endless stream of bile and contracting muscles. The world went dark for a few moments and I felt a dull pain in my head. I could feel a bustle and panic around me but it felt like I was no longer in the room. The clattering of a chair falling backwards. A rush of movement towards me. My mother shouting something towards me even though I wasn’t there anymore.

I saw a pair of yellow eyes on the other side of the room between the legs of the table and chairs. When had I fallen to the floor? My body convulsed and continued trying to empty itself, but I was an outside observer somewhere next to the yellow eyes. They belonged to a long, mostly formless creature. It looked feline but the shape wasn’t constant. Constantly shifting, it had somewhere between three and eight legs but only one tail. Or was that a head? Everything was too confusing but it seemed to be trying to comfort me. Wrapping its shadow-like form around my consciousness and allowing me to slip back into the sweet oblivion of the void.

When I woke, I wasn’t in my house anymore. The bed wasn’t my own. What happened? I felt my breath catch again as I remembered the events prior. Tears rose but I forced them back down. Is that what a panic attack was like? That was horrible. What had I even forgotten that made me panic that bad? I perused my memories. Trying to find the events of last night. Compartmentalizing my mind into folders to look through. After searching, and failing to find last night, I felt panic rising in me again but forced it back down. Crumpling it to a little ball that I crushed as I clenched my small fists.

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Taking a deep breath, I looked around. Or tried to, anyways; my head wouldn’t move. Suppressing yet more panic; I tried to logically think of why I wouldn’t be able to move. All of the options I thought of were awful and didn’t improve my mindset. Maybe I damaged my spine when I landed on the ground? Maybe the attack gave me some form of locked in syndrome??

“Okay stop, it’s not that bad” I told myself silently. And suddenly I was able to move my head. “See? It’s just a mental block” as I looked to the base of the bed. My eyes locked on a horrific looking figure with far too many twisted limbs, sunken eyes everywhere and way too much skin that sagged nearly to the floor. “Oh I have sleep paralysis now. Good. Awesome” I let my head sink back down so I can look at the ceiling instead.

I kept testing my limbs and muscles until finally I could move again. Moving my hand, I noticed my disheveled mother asleep on a chair next to the bed; Her head laying on the bed and both hands on top of one of mine. The creature was still at the end of the bed, much to my dismay. It didn’t prevent my mother from waking up as I tried to ignore it. She saw me sitting up and awake and tears formed in her eyes. They were already puffy and red from what must have been an intense sobbing session while I was out for however long I was.

I felt awful. Truly terrible. How could I be such a terrible child to do this to my mother. I let myself cry a little as I pulled her hand forward to try and comfort her.

She pulled me closer slowly and just whispered gently into my hair while softly crying in relief while slowly stroking my hair and comforting me. I had a feeling I was comforting her more though. The creature was shuffling around at the end of the bed. Then suddenly, the doctor emerged from it! Or walked through it. Either way I was too startled to tell and hiccupped in surprise. Mother pulled back and looked at me with concern again.

They talked to each-other quietly. Taking another look around I noticed I was surrounded by simple blue curtains; a hospital of some kind? Suddenly I was taken by an intense curiosity. This was my first time outside of the house! My panic was rapidly forgotten as a desire to see the world filled me; I also wanted to get away from the creature. “Explore!” I said excitedly. It was the first word I had decided to memorize fluently because I wanted to get out of the house.

Both the doctor and my mother looked at me. A not insignificant amount of concern showing on their face. Mother just shook her head and laid me back down. “Later” she said. Suddenly her hand started glowing softly and I started getting drowsy. Damn you, mother! I love you but I don’t want to sleep again! She stood up and walked out of the curtain while talking with the doctor in a hushed tone as I once again succumbed to sleep.