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Chapter 82: Lost Kitten

Elina POV

“Auntie ELINA!” a horrid cry of angst and despair enters my ears. Immediately, the letter I’d been considering sending goes back in my pocket. Hurriedly, I turn away from the mail post at the bottom of the Sisyphean Cliff and look up the jagged slope. “AUUUNTIEEEE!”

“Natalia?” I call back. Immediately, feeling that something must be terribly wrong for the young Demi-Cat to be yowling like this, I start to jump up the rockface. “What’s wrong?!” I ask, but there’s no response. Damnit, what’s going on? She’s strong enough to climb up on her own. My limbs hurt slightly as I accelerate to the maximum on the white stone. Even healed, the phantom pain in my joints never fades, although it’s been getting a little better lately. I’ll finish the letter later. Natalia’s more important. But what could be wrong? I don’t see her on the cliffs...did she fall? No, her cry definitely came from above me. “Natalia, I’m coming!”

“Auuuuntie-!”

“Oomph!”

When I reach the top of the Cliffs, I’m almost slammed back over by a fuzzy orange blur. Myrr’s little Demi-Cat, who he’s shoved on me to babysit, has tears in her eyes. I’m a bit disturbed to see that. She has a tendency to overreact like most Demi-Cats. However, Natalia has a certain toughness to her that can only have come from her horrid past. She never cries unless it’s related to a certain nephew of my sister’s. This can’t be good...

“Natalia?” I carefully relax my Qi so she doesn’t hurt herself as she runs into my waist. Little arms wrap around me as the poor Demi-Cat bawls her eyes out. “What’s wrong? Is it Myrr? Did something happen?” Suddenly, I’m anxious as well. There’s an awful, awful feeling building in the pit of my stomach. For a long time now, I’ve been suspecting that things were off. My instincts were screaming for me to listen, but I just wanted to keep on living in this dream world, with a nephew and niece that aren’t mine. In my concern, I’m a bit rougher than I should be, “Natalia! WHAT IS WRONG?”

“It’s...he’s...!” Myrr’s sister holds something up in front of me. It’s yellowish, and triangular, a wedge. “L-Look!” she demands. I peer in closely, alarmed. Is...is that...cheese?

“Natalia? I don’t understand-“ my reply is muted as the Demi-Cat girl shakes her head. She’s started to transform in her panic, and I can see her tail bristling with terror under the back of her shirt. “Is something wrong with Myrr?” When she doesn’t respond, I realize that she’s completely overwhelmed. “Natalia? Just breathe...are you hurt? Stay still, okay, Sweetie? Auntie Elina will help-“

“I...he...LEFT!” she screams at me and suddenly it all makes sense. Immediately, I jump to the worst possible conclusion. Unfortunately, it’s also the one that makes the most sense. Natalia grabs my hand with a ginger paw and yanks me towards my hut. “Auntie...? Why...? Why would Myrr leave me?”

“Shhhh...shhh. It’s okay, now. Tell me what happened!” I try to stay strong for Natalia’s sake. However, my own heart is starting to beat fast. It can’t be...I knew he was planning something, but so soon? Following the Demi-Cat’s frantic steps, we’re soon at the door of my hut. Natalia runs inside and pulls something off her bed. It looks like...a letter? OH DAMNIT! MYRR! Instantly, even without reading it, I know what’s happened. Hot prickles of rage run up my spine as I’m reminded of my sister. She left in just the same way. Despite the fact that the boy’s not really related to her, he’s just like Romy in some ways. You idiot! You bloody idiot! Really, Myrr?! A freaking letter? You left without even saying anything? Not even to Natalia? Or...me?

“W-Why?” Natalia seems to be on the verge of collapse next to me. Her bloodshot eyes find mine in the darkness of the hut as the sunsets. “Auntie Elina? It’s not true right? He wouldn’t really leave me?”

“I’m sorry, Natalia.” Sighing, my face becomes stone cold. The truth is, he did. Grabbing the Demi-Cat under her arms, I lift her up before she falls and carry her over to bed. When I try to put her down, she clings to me and I can only bend down and clamber in with her. I never thought to hold a child in this way. Certainly not one that I could even call a niece. It should feel like a blessing from Yuel. But instead, the way he did it, it feels awful, like a curse. She’s not a burden. Natalia is a gift. No matter what, I have to remember that. Even if Myrr is too stupid to realize it yet, I’ll protect her in his place.

“D-D-Do you see what he wrote?” She’s shaking. The poor girl is shaking. I have to steel myself, and resist the urge to put on my mask to hide the wetness in my eyes. How do I explain it to her? How can I explain to a twelve-year-old girl that her only family has left her? Natalia holds up the letter to me. Her knuckles are white, I can see it even through the fur that’s blossomed on her paws. She’s clutching the paper so hard that it’s started to tear. Demi-Cat hands aren’t meant to handle such delicate things. “Auntie Elina...tell me whyyyy?”

“Shh, let me see...” I stroke her hair with one hand, curling my body around her protectively. Her warm tears quickly soak my robes, but I don’t mind as she buries her face into my chest. Carefully, I do my best to remove the letter from Natalia’s tense paws without tearing it. “That’s it...let go. Let Auntie Elina see...OH BY THE RAINGODS DAMNIT MYRR!”

“SEE! HE LEFT ME!” Natalia’s screech is only matched by my roar of frustration as I see what the damn idiot wrote. It barely qualifies as a note, let alone a letter! Seriously? You freaking abandon the poor girl and this is all you leave her to remember you by? Couldn’t you have at least written a little more? I can’t believe this! You’re just like her! Romy, did you cheat on Mark and have an illegitimate child? There’s no way you two are this similar! How did you manage to create a coward as dumb as yourself!

“I...I...” My throat dry, I do my best to control myself. I need to be an adult. For Natalia’s sake. This isn’t the time to think about my own problems. “It’s okay. Look, Myrr’s only doing this because he doesn’t want to see you hurt. Just...it’s going to be okay. I’ll take care of you for now...and when he comes back...”

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“But what if he doesn’t come back?” She lifts her head from my bosom with eyes that can’t be consoled. Not by someone like me. I...don’t know what to say. Romy never came back...what if Myrr really is like her...

“I...he will, okay?” I grimace at the obvious lie. Even as gullible as Demi-Cats are, Natalia doesn’t seem to believe me. I cough, sounding more like I’m trying to convince myself than her, “J-Just believe in him, okay? He cares about us...about you, especially! It may be a while, but he’ll definitely come back!” I hate that I might be lying to her. But sometimes you need someone to lie to you. I’m sorry, Natalia. Myrr...you better not make me a liar! Or I’ll never forgive you!

“P-romise?” she trills. Nodding, I look down at her and press my forehead to hers. Sticky with tears as I pull away, I can see her fuzzy ears drooping in sadness. Suddenly, Natalia hisses, “He left me...for her!”

“Errr...what?” I’m not sure what she means.

“He took her and not me!” she cries. Evil girl? She can’t possibly mean...?

“Natalia, are you talking about Meera?” I ask. Instantly, I feel a surge of strong killing intent. It’s unrefined, without malice, but powerful. Is that...really from Natalia?

“I saw her packing this morning! Before we left!” Natalia’s hiss turns into a low growl. A deep vibration passes through her body into mine as her whole form shakes. “Why...why did he take her, instead of me? Does he want to replace me? Am I not good enough to be his maid?”

“Now hold on, Natalia!” Alarmed, I try to defuse the situation. You idiot! Bringing another girl? Oh, I’m sure you’ll say it was just to protect Natalia, but couldn’t you at least consider how she’d think of it? She’s really going to hate you! And I have half a mind to let it happen! “Just relax, I’m sure there’s a very good reason he-!”

“Tch...I’m not good enough.”

“-And I bet if you just give him a chance to explain...what?” I stop as I realize Natalia has become dead silent. Even the deep growl in her body has cut off. The entire hut is frigidly cold, I forgot to start the fire. With her tears soaking my chest, the night air coming in through the hole in the ceiling is enough to make anyone’s skin erupt into goosebumps. However, I’m not so sure it’s the weather that’s causing all the hairs on my arms to stand up. “Natalia? You’re always enough. Don’t talk like that-“

“Auntie!” she interrupts me, and I fall silent, “he left because I’m not good enough. Didn’t he?”

“No, it’s not like...” I trail off as I see her cat-like eyes narrow into slits. Though the girl acts childish most of the time, right now, I feel like I’m staring at someone way beyond her years. An ironclad resolution passes before her eyes. “He was only trying to protect you, Natalia. Myrr will come back. When he’s ready. You’ll see. You’re family...no, we’re family. I’m his Auntie, which makes me your Auntie and I’ll always be here to take care of you-”

“Peh! Don’t lie to me!” she spits in the middle of my resolution. When she sees how hurt my face becomes, the awful, dead expression softens, but doesn’t go away. I fear that the change may be permanent if Myrr doesn’t return soon. “Mother and Father lied to Natalia. They never came back. I don’t want you to lie to me too, Auntie Elina! He’s gone. And he’ll never come back. Not if I’m weak like this. He’ll just leave again...I’m sorry, Auntie. I...please...Natalia wants to become strong. Like you...I don’t want to be weak!”

Like me? You want to become like me? No one wants to be...

Damnit Myrr. How far did you plan this? You knew I wouldn’t let her follow you. Just like you knew I’d stop you if you said goodbye. A letter for her but not for me? I...you knew I’d know what you’d want me to do without saying it.

But did you ever consider...that I might have appreciated a goodbye?

“It’s okay, Natalia. I promise you...you won’t be like me. One day...you’ll be better. And no one...not even Myrr will be able to ignore you then!”

“You really mean it, Auntie?”

“Of course, I do! Stay right there! I’ll make us some tea. Hey, that cheese looks tasty...why’d he leave you cheese? Let me see it. Hey, let go! I’m going to cut it for us...NATALIA! Why are you biting my hand! Let go-you’re going to hurt your teeth!”

Please...don’t stay out too late, Myrr.

I’ll keep the fire going. But...

Fragile hearts need their loved ones to feel warm again.

#

Letters:

Hi Natalia,

I’m going somewhere you can’t follow. And I’m sorry about that. Please don’t worry, I will be fine! As your older brother, I naturally have to take care of some things for us. It should only be a few years. In case you get lonely, I ordered Janus to play with you so make sure to smack him around for me. Please be good and stay with Auntie Elina, she’ll definitely make sure you grow up into a fine young Demi-Cat!

P.S. When I return, I’ll bring lots of treats! Here’s a taste of what’s to come! Please control yourself and share some with Elina!

Your Unworthy Brother,

Myrrdraeyal Blackrose

Dear Sister,

I’m not sure if I will send this, but I felt like I needed to write something down. I have never responded to any of your letters in the past. Maybe I was jealous. We may need to talk in the future. But...our problems must be put aside for now. I have an urgent query for you that needs attention.

A few years ago, your nephew, Myrr, found his way to the Sect. Now I knew this might worry you so I kept an eye on him. You told me to watch over him, and somehow Yuel felt it fit to entrust him under my care. Please do not worry. He has passed the Trials, unharmed, and become Interim Secthead. Indeed, half the Sect listens to him now. However. ..I am a bit worried about how he managed to convince Jarshan to turn on Elder Heilan. The existing members of the Rainstopper Council are dead, Romy. You might think this is some scheme by myself, or Jarshan, or Perideen. We were all involved, I don’t deny it. But the thing is...I didn’t plan this. I didn’t even know it was happening. One second, the Trials were happening and the next, Myrr turned it into a deathmatch. As far as I can tell, Perideen knew nothing, and try as I might, I can’t imagine Jarshan committing to such a harsh plan on his own.

I can draw only one conclusion. Myrr planned this. All of it. When I wasn’t watching, the child was watching the Elders, studying their weaknesses. He even guessed that my condition had been improved, I’m certain of it. But that’s not what scares me. To be frank, I believe, I desperately want to believe that he cares for his family. His sister, the Demi-Cat, is here. I’ve seen how he looks at her, and I’ve seen the things he’s been willing to do for me. Can you believe I’m his Auntie too now? That’s what he calls me. The thing is...as cute Myrr is, no matter how much good he does, he...he is not normal. Even by the standards of the old ways, I’m worried. His power...I think it may grow to surpass yours one day. But though he hasn’t bloodied his own hands once, I’m scared. Because I know he’s responsible for the Council’s death, no matter what Jarshan says. And when I look into his eyes...I see nothing but love, care...and revenge. No guilt.

He convinced Jarshan to kill the Elders and he hasn’t thought about them since! Even you...back then, you would not be so cold after taking a dozen souls, would you? Romy, please, I need you to listen to me, he is obsessed with Merekeep! I don’t know the full story, but I know enough to guess that this can only end with blood. You must tell me where Myrr came from. Is he your child? No matter what, I don’t care how it happened, tell me who he is!

Where are you, Sister?

Elina Rainstopper