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Chapter 116: Snap

“How long?” Slowly, I take the deepest breath I can. And let it go. It comes out like a whimper. “How long have you been watching?” It’s a stupid question. Just one of the many swirling through my head. I barely know which to choose. Why…? Why didn’t you say anything? Who? Who told you I was here? How? How did you get Elina to agree to this?

“...I hate you.” Natalia crouches on all fours. She flicks her tail angrily, side to side.

*Swish*

“I really hate you!”

*Swish*

“Why won’t you love me?”

*Swish*

“C-Calm down! Let’s just talk, Natalia!”

*Swish*

“No…stupid, Master. Weak, worthless, Master. Why won’t you recognize me? You didn’t do any of this for me. No…no…but I did all of this for you! Why won’t you see that? Why won’t you praise me? He said you would. If I saved you from her. Why? Why why why why why? No…it’s okay. Now that she’s gone…you can’t replace me! I’m all you’ve got! Master’s one and only! I am the ONLY one you need!” My first maid keeps talking to herself. All while looking at me. But it’s like she doesn’t even see me. Not even a little bit.

“Natalia, who told you these things?” I feel a hot rush of anger coming to my head. It’s all screwed up, nothing makes sense. But one thing is clear. The one who put these twisted thoughts in my sister’s head. The one who ordered her to silence Kisa. “It was the Stranger wasn’t it?”

“Why won’t you admit it? Why isn’t it going like he said? Is it because Master is too stupid to see it? I need to talk to him…this isn’t working!” She ignores my question. When I reach out to her with shaking fingers, she slaps me away. The tremendous force of her paw almost rips my hand off-

*Pah*

“Useless…useless!” Natalia takes one look at me and hisses. She leaps up on all fours and runs sideways straight up the alleyway wall. “That’s all you are, Master!”

Wait! Where are you going?!

“Don’t go!”

However, she’s already gone. I see an orange flash dancing across the rooftops at top speed. My bruised hand falls to the ground. For a few breaths, I sit tight. Trying to understand what just happened. All the things that went wrong. My sins. That Natalia is working with the Stranger. She’s being brainwashed or something. There’s no way…my Natalia would do this…right? Right? However, though I try to deny it, I already know the truth.

My sister killed Kisa.

And nothing can change that.

Someone’s screaming. Rage, frustration, despair, it all comes out.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

My throat burns. I feel something snap inside of me. But I can’t understand what it is. My literal physical heart? No…that’s still beating. Hurting but ticking. The pain feels lower than that. Perhaps a lung or a rib? No…not that either. Maybe something less important? Some muscle or vein? The lining of my stomach? Hehehe…to be honest, I can probably guess what it is. I’m just too afraid to say it. What is broken is worth so much less than any real part of me. And yet…the consequence of losing it is so much more dangerous. It slips away with a snap, and I barely miss it. Such an inconsequential thing-

My sanity.

“Natalia…oh silly, Natalia…I prepared this all for you…you know that? You killed the very sister I wanted you to have. But that’s okay.” I chuckle dangerously, still tracking the direction Natalia’s going. Numbly, I rise to my feet. The pain in my head, it’s like someone’s sticking a hot coal behind my eyes. But I have places to be. I know where you’re going. That’s the way to the undercanals. I’ll find him there won’t I? Architect of my misfortune, he’ll be there right…?

The Stranger.

*Tap*

Up, the alleyway walls. I jump to the rooftops as well. The whole time, I can’t help it. I’m crying and laughing at the futility of it all. My plans. My schemes. My stupid setups. This whole thing. Months and years, I’ve been deluding myself into thinking that it was for her. But in the end, I failed to take into account Natalia’s feelings. This…this result. It falls squarely on the older sibling. On me. But…there’s someone else to blame as well. He needs to be punished. Strolling along the sky pathways, I find myself under a bright red, bloody moon. Jarshan once told me that it meant death was coming tonight. I think I agree with him.

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“Stranger…Mr. Stranger…I’m coming for you. And I’m ready to get my hands d-i-r-t-y…!”

*Tap*

I loved her…

She gave everything to be with us…

I trained her to run the shop…

Taught her to count…

She was my student…

My best employee…

And my…my…maid…

And you…you took that from ME!

You…you…you…

Natalia…

What?

Why am I…?

So hung up on this?

No…no time…

Natalia needs me…

Yea…

She needs me…

And she’s…

Family.

I can’t…I owe Natalia…

Switching paths, I pursue Natalia. A sick twisted logic presents itself to me. One which feels awfully familiar. It’s…not quite right. In fact, it might be wholly wrong. But then…why does it make so much sense? In the end, what was Kisa except someone I was using from the beginning? It’s not like I loved her or anything. She’s not family…definitely not. I mean I only knew her for what? Two years? Hahaha…yea…just two measly little years. A simple, common Demi like her…does it really matter if you wanted to kill her, Natalia? She was replacing you after all. It’s only natural you were mad. I might’ve done the same thing, in another life. Yes, I think it’s quite alright. I promised you could be my maid. If Kisa isn’t part of the family you wanted to take care of…then what does it matter? Her life was mine. And you have the right to play with ALL my things. After all…you are my…dear…cute…little…sister. I can’t be mad at you-

Even if you’re a bit spoiled.

Ahhh, perhaps I overreacted.

[Is that what you really think?]

How regrettable, after we finally got together again.

[You’re hurting yourself.]

This isn’t what I had in mind.

[It’s okay to cry.]

Let me see…how should we go on?

[Don’t keep going until you break.]

Mmm…I don’t know…

[He denied it for so long.]

Really, perhaps it’d be best to do what everyone else does.

[I didn’t know how to help him.]

And turn a blind eye.

[I looked away.]

Children make mistakes after all.

[I won’t make the same mistake with you.]

It just goes to show…

[Please…please…learn to forgive.]

You really need to know who you’re dealing with.

[Starting with yourself!]

“Yes…for you, Natalia…I’ll just…look away. But the one to blame for this…now that person, I can’t forgive.”

“Boss?!” Someone in a cat-mask appears, running alongside me.

Huh?

Who are you?

Oh…right.

I did have other toys.

“Meera?” I nod at her, while still dashing across the rooftops. Tiles scatter beneath my careless feet, crashing off into the streets, but I don’t care. It’s kind of fun. “Are you coming with me? I’m going to kill the Stranger. Won’t that be fun?”

*Flicker*

She regards my tear-stained face critically. After a moment, she snatches my sleeve-

*Clasp*

“Boss…what’s wrong with you?” She asks. I tug at her, trying to get away, but she’s holding me tightly this time. We come to a stop on the rooftop of some cathedral. Meera quietly removes her own mask with one hand. Her worried face comes into the moonlight. She squeezes my forearm. “Are you…are you crying? No…” She freezes and her grip falters. I try to break free but she’s too quick. “Boss! Where’s Kisa?”

*Badump*

Ah right.

You don’t know.

“Kisa’s dead, Meera.” I smile as I say it. It’s supposed to be a reassuring look. Just the kind an employee needs when receiving bad news. However, I think it came out wrong. Meera flinches and recoils from me. But doesn’t let go of my arm. “Echo killed her. But you know…it’s not really Echo’s fault. She didn’t know what she was doing. You know she only follows his orders right? That’s who we need to get revenge on.”

“Dead…Kisa’s dead?” she whispers. “You couldn’t save her…?”

Hey.

What’s with that tone?

I did my best.

Are you criticizing my performance?