Before I was Lydia Arima,

I was born in a poor family, with parents that fought every now and then, and siblings that would bully me every time they felt like it.

But that was normal, they have power, I don't.

Even in school, because I can't speak properly, many would assume I'm arrogant.

It isn't my fault I have this injury, but because I can't speak well, there's nothing I can do about.

I was surprised I even lived to reach high school, there were many times where I'd almost die and my family would do nothing about it.

But who are they to blame, my illness was the one at fault here.

Being unable to walk, using crutches was a natural thing for me.

If that wasn't costly enough, I had to take different kinds of medicine each day.

My family went poor because of me, and my brother was sent to jail for shoving a bread knife down my throat.

If I didn't crawl outside the house, I would have died of bleeding.

"You should've never been born." He said.

And my parents would agree with it.

They made an excuse of not noticing me when asked by the police.

They noticed, but ignored is what they should've said. 

But who am I to complain? I ruined their lives, so it's normal for them to resent me.

That only led to more complications in my body and my condition got worse each day.

My friend was my only mental support at that time. 

She lived on the other side of the road, and would often bring food as she visits.

On my last birthday, she gave me a PSP, with the game she would always talk about.

She was kind, caring, and understanding, to the point where she would even brush off every curse I'd say to her.

I didn't want her to be affected by someone as worthless as me, but as much as I kept distance, she would only come closer.

Then that day came.

My parents were in my sister's school for her graduation when my brother came.

He escaped prison and came to my room while I was arguing with my friend.

Holding a knife in his hand, he tried stabbing me, only to be tackled by my friend.

He was furious, at me who ruined his life, and at his ruined life itself.

They were struggling for the knife, but it was obvious that my brother was physically stronger than my friend.

Then she was stabbed, I was unable to do anything as my brother repeatedly stabbed her as he sat atop her.

It was only when he started to scream in anger that I realized the current spectacle happening in front of me.

I took my friend's PSP and threw it to his face.

Surprised, he tried standing up, only to slip on the pool of my friend's blood.

He landed on his back, and hit his head on the concrete floor.

With all my remaining strength, I close the distance, and, using my crutches, the only thing that allowed me to walk, I crushed his sensitive part as he screamed in pain.

Picking up the knife as he writhed in agony, I stabbed his chest using the momentum as I let myself fall down.

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The reason I was arguing with my friend, why I made so much distance with her, was because I've stopped taking medicines ever since a month ago.

If I was going to die anyway, I should've just spent my final days in fun, was what I thought.

Without using the crutches I use to normally walk, I crawled to my room.

Picking up my friend's birthday gift, which I held most dearly, I finished the game which was near its end as I slowly drift my consciousness away.

In the end, I was powerless, helpless, useless.

Never having anything I have, I swore.

The moment I get another life, I'll be the one with power.

If I have power, no one would ever go against me, everything would go as I wanted.

I can reject everything I hated and live for only, and only myself.

As my consciousness faded, so did the game I finished.

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I am Lydia Arima

I was two when I first used my magic.

My brother's teacher was amazed at me for being the first to use it at my age.

Only to be disappointed by my impatience, causing her to leave the house.

But I improved and became loved by everyone around me.

That is, before I turned nine.

Right before my ninth birthday, my parents were assassinated, leaving only me and my brother behind.

I became selfish, abusive, and most of all, evil.

I hated the world, I hated my parent's killers, but most of all, I hated power.

If we were born as a simple household, living happily and quietly outside the capital, would this have happened?

But most of all, I pity my brother.

I was his only mental support, and I acted as such.

He was forced to inherit father's position without preparation.

Being unable to use magic, his lifelong dream,  he ate and ate to escape from reality.

I've become a shitty person as well, so I can't complain.

But as much as I tried having revenge on the ones responsible for my parent's death, I ended up getting killed by a woman named Stella, who was the prince's, my enemy's lover.

Famous for transferring in as a promising student, she was the one that lead the people who invaded the palace I conquered.

In my final moments, my only thoughts were that of the woman named Stella.

Unlike me, who killed and died for a selfish reason, she lived and fought for the sake of others.

Maybe I should try living as that too.

Were my final thoughts before my consciousness drifted away...

Only to wake up in the body of a baby.

But something was different, I felt two more consciousness in this baby's body, one which was weak, and another which was even stronger than mine.

Just what the hell is happening!?

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(Author Note-plot twiiiiiiiiiist

                           -I can finally eat after finishing this

                           -one more chapt?)