Maya was like a deer staring into the headlights of an approaching car—although this car was not a car. It was her old friend, the undead zombie warrior she so dreadfully missed.
It groaned in greeting and shambled inside Maya’s clean apartment with its muddy and worn leather boots, closing the door behind it.
With another wild groan, the Draugr straightened its back, towering over Maya and scraping the ceiling with its iron helmet. The undead was huge—not big per se, but very long. Tangles over tangles of dead raven black hair cascaded down from its head and over the shoulders.
His beard was half rotten; Teeth yellow and ridden with carious and other periodontal diseases. Any strong-willed person would hurl out their breakfast.
It trudged closer to Maya, cracking the laminate underneath its boots. Maya could barely move from shock, even when the former Viking warrior lifted its axe.
“AHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Groooooaaaaar!”
Maya screamed, and so did the Draugr hacking with its axe at Maya, who jumped out of the way, panicking. Her mirror shattered and covered the floor in glass shards.
Thankfully, she wore house shoes, or else she would have gotten a shard lodged in her foot as she did as a child—not a pleasant memory; she blames her brother.
“What are you doing at my home!?” Maya exclaimed in outrage at having her apartment getting demolished. The Draugr turned its head at Maya—only its freakish and fouling head.
What she didn’t expect next was hearing it talk.
“Where? Armament. Of. Power?” The voice was deep and strained and almost sounded as if you put wood and glass pearls through the blender—again, Maya had her phases as a child. But the voice was far more sinister than any exploding blender could manage.
Backed into a corner of her corridor, Maya had only two ways to run.
First was the kitchen, which meant diving underneath the axe, which was not something she was looking forward to.
Or second, the bathroom behind her.
The Draugr rumbled—a rotten tooth fell to the ground.
Maya chose the latter.
She locked the glass door behind her and leaned against it for a breather, steadying herself mentally.
“Wait a sec.” The gears in Maya’s brain turned. “I have a glass door, and that thing has a frickin’-”
Maya jumped out of the way right before the axe split her head in half. The door shattered, sparkling her and the bathroom with sharp pieces. She scrubbed her hand and knee on the floor.
“Cursed- argh!” Maya cried out, holding back a tear. “OH, that hurt! I told my parents replacing the hardwood doors with glass doors was a horrible idea. No matter how much natural light it provides!”
Scrambling to her feet, Maya had seconds before the Draugr burst through the door entirely. She hid in the second section of the bathroom and closed the second glass door she had in there—that one was on her this time. She liked the extra light in her bathroom.
“Think, Maya, think. I'm stuck on the second floor with a rotting undead after me! No problem, nooooo. I could jump out of the window and hope I don’t break a leg like last time-”
Maya shrieked at the shattering door. The Draugr was almost through but tried to open the rest with the handle. “Thank goodness its brains are as rotten as its body!”
Opening the window, Maya looked down. She gulped. “There’s no way I could make it without a broken leg. I wish Val was here!”
Maya paced around, biting her nail to think of an idea, and remembered the old unwashed sheets she put away in the cabin next to her.
Raiding it, she tried to make an impromptu rope. She almost dropped it from the Draugr’s laboured rumbling before she could tie it properly.
Maya held on to dear life as she carefully roped herself down before the Draugr barrelled through the second door. (Side note: Maya knows how to tie ropes thanks to her brother when they snuck out of home. Do what you want with that information.)
However, she could only do so much as the Draugr snatched the ropes of bedsheets and tried to pull Maya back inside.
She had only two viable options left again. A) face the Draugr and die, or B) jump and maaaaaaybe not die.
Neither option was great, but Maya was almost down anyway, and she reaaaaally didn’t want to face the Draugr’s noxious breath. “Not like I’ll break my leg like last time as a child.”
Maya let go of the rope and jumped.
—✹—
Hooray! Maya did not break her leg! *blows party horn*
Instead, she merely sprained it and fell with a loud thud against the grassy and unmaintained ground, expelling the air out of her chest. “Oww, oh, that didn’t hurt at all…” she groaned, rolling onto her back, complaining.
She looked up to see the Draugr disappointingly examining the rope with sadly no human attached to it. “Better luck next time, Rotty!” Maya laughed. She stopped when the Draugr headed back inside her apartment, probably to resume the chase.
“OH shoot!” Gathering herself, Maya ran to the nearby lake. She knew there was barely anyone at home this time of day—mostly housewives or househusbands. Maya couldn’t pull them into this madness—or explain why she wore nothing but her nightgown.
It would make for an awkward confrontation.
Maya reached the streets with the forest where she and Val had found the shield close by—and where they were attacked by Draugr. Possibly not the best place to be, but Maya was out of options.
She looked left and right. There was no one nearby. She brushed back her hair and the sweat developing on her forehead. “That’s the most amount of running I did since I bought that gym membership in January—I’m spent.”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Resting her hands on her knees, Maya heard a rustling somewhere behind her, accompanied by an undead groan. “Oh, come on, I need a break,” she sobbed and resumed running into the forest.
Hiding behind a tree, Maya pulled her phone out of the gown, which she kept hidden inside her chest—not to be recommended due to chafing.
Her first thought was to call Val, but she had no phone. She opted for the next best thing, Austin.
“Come on, come on, pick up!”
Ring. Ring.
“Pick up your DAMN phone!”
“Ghostbusters, watcha want?”
“This is not the time for jokes, Austin!”
He laughed snarkily on the other end. “There’s always time for a joke, lol. What do you need? You hate making phone calls.”
Maya grumbled, “I know, but this is serious. Listen, I need your help. I’m alone in my nightgown and need-”
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Maya looked confused at her phone. Austin had ended the call. She immediately phoned him again.
“What the heck!?” she shouted. “Why?”
“Listen, Maya, I know you want to try out a relationship since you never went on a date-”
“Ouch, that hurt.”
“But I ain’t providing this kind of service-”
“Stop spouting nonsense! I’m in serious need of help—AAAH!”
“Maya? Maya!?” Austin was now panicking. “Hey, what’s going on? I’m sorry for the joke. Talk to me.”
Maya couldn’t pick up the phone. She had dropped it when the Draugr felled the tree she was hiding behind with its axe.
Wide-eyed, she looked at the Draugr and heard Austin’s amplified voice—she must have accidentally hit her phone on loud before she dropped it.
“Austin! I’m getting attacked by a Draugr. I’m running away in the nearby forest. Val is nowhere to be found. Please help!”
Crunch.
The Draugr’s boot crushed her phone. Maya laughed uneasily, hoping the message went through at least.
“There’s no way you’ll let me go, no?”
The Draugr roared.
“I take it as a no.”
Maya ran again. She wasn’t particularly quick on her feet, considering she wasn’t very fit to begin with. She also had a sprained leg and only one house shoe on—the other she lost somewhere on her run.
Though the Draugr was blissfully slower, trudging after her through the difficult terrain.
Panting and feet aching, Maya occasionally jumped or dodged the Draugr’s assault as it uprooted everything in its path. Soon it would have deforested the entire forest by noon.
Or not, since the next turn she took ended up in an ambush with two more, but regular-sized, Draugr. They seized her, grabbing her by her arms like last time.
“Can we please not do this?” Maya begged, trying to wiggle her way out both physically and otherwise. “I have a paper to edit and stuff to read. Can we reschedule? I’m a bit pressed lately.”
The Draugr returned her pleading with a bored groan, unimpressed by her schedule.
Maya rolled her eyes and noticed a shadow vault between the shades, forming slits for eyes underneath the shadow of the large Draugr that had chased her.
“Where is it, woman?” A voice instilled the question inside Maya’s head, singeing her brain with cold needles that compelled her to answer. “The shield is gone, but where are–”
“Listen, I don’t know what you’re looking for exactly,” said Maya, stunning the shadow who didn’t expect to be interrupted. “We were minding our own business at home. WHICH YOU ATTACKED! Come on, do you know what a hassle that will be to explain to the authorities?”
The shadow remained silent and blinked several times—trying to regain its composure. It narrowed her eyes for intimidation.
“Where-”
Ding. Bing. BONG.
Made the Draugr heads, knocked out cold by Val’s shield thrown like a frisbee.
Both of the Draugr holding Maya fell over, partly disintegrating, while the tall one staggered. Val dove right under its feet, caught her shield, kicked a zombie away and snatched Maya away—all the while looking like the heroine Maya imagined her to be.
“Are. You. Alright?” wheezed Val, sounding winded and drenched in sweat. Maya could hear Val’s heartbeat against her back. “Saw. The.” Val gasped loudly. “Damage. Ran. To find. You-”
“Woah, watch out.” They stopped. Maya extracted herself from Val’s hold and caught her. The Valkyrie was on her knees, wheezing and coughing audibly. “This is not good, not good.”
“Chest. Constricted. Hard to. Breath.”
“I know. Everything will be fine. Let’s get out of here.” Draping Val’s arm over Maya’s shoulder and the other over Val’s hip, the two ran.
—✧—
How far did Maya make it with one shoe on her and an asthmatic Valkyrie at her side while chased by the undead? You guessed it.
NOT. FAR.
Sure, the Draugr were slow and clumsy, but not like the girls were any faster. They were one arm-length away from being caught and getting slower. Val was in no condition to fight, nor was Maya since she was a mortal.
“I don’t need to be special to fight,” thought Maya. She glimpsed at the shield hanging from Val’s arm. The idea that came to her head was both bold and stupid. A perfect combination for a reckless endeavour. “Val, I’ll need you to make us put some distance between them. Can you do that?”
Maya felt horrible for asking. Val was short on breath and struggled to not stumble over her feet, yet Maya wanted her to do more.
Val looked at her, her blond hair falling over her pale brown and sweat-drenched face. “Hold. Tight,” she said. Pulling Maya closer to her, she jumped.
The jump wasn’t very far, or high, but they landed in the bushes. Val turned herself around mid-air and took the brunt of the landing, protecting Maya.
Val lay there, looking grey with her clothes sticking to her, making her feel weak and yucky.
“Maya,” she coughed for air. “What’s. Your. Plan–”
Maya unstrapped the shield from Val’s arm. Val caught her wrist. “What. Are. You. Doing?”
“Helping you.” Maya smiled and yanked it free. “Sorry, I’ll be back.”
Maya ran with the shield in hand.
Clasping it against her chest, Maya tried to syphon some of its strength to her. Sadly, it didn’t quite work like that, but merely holding it gave her some, knowing it belonged to Val.
“I need to do this quick and get back to her. How hard can it be to fight off some Draugr, anyway? Haha.”
The answer won’t surprise you, but Maya needed some more convincing.
She slammed shield-first against one, sending it flying into the nearby lake, and fell too—skittered across the ground with the shield. The tall Draugr stopped her ride with its foot, staring down at her.
“Hey there,” Maya meekly leaned against the shield. “Can we talk, please?” she asked the Draugr, batting with her eyes. It snatched her up by the neck like a kitten. “Oww, oww, oww, watch out for the hair!”
“Gruuuurgh,” groaned the Draugr, releasing a toxic green breath. Maya gagged in disgust. “Death. Useless, woman.”
Maya’s eyes widened with shock when the Draugr brought its axe closer to her neck. She squirmed in its hold, and kicked against its chest, but couldn’t pry herself free.
In her mind, Maya was already dead. She had hoped to take out at least one of the Draugr but watched how the one she knocked away was coming out of the water—a plastic bag hanging from its shoulder.
Having killed one a week ago, Maya was confident that she could deal with them easily. “Oh my hubris,” Maya muttered. “I didn’t want it to end like this.”
Her only sliver of hope was that at least Val could make it out and recover on her own, without Maya running straight to her death.
“Timber!”
She heard someone yell. Roots snapped from the ground. Maya landed with her butt against the ground, hissing and cursing as two Draugr got pinned down by a large oak tree.
The remaining small Draugr was less lucky to be taken out. Val came up from behind and put it into a deadlock, lifting it up and choking the living dead out of him.
The veins on Val’s muscular arms bulged. The Draugr didn’t necessarily need to breathe, but Val’s strength was more than enough to decapitate it for good, sending the head flying into the sky with a plop before Val collapsed to her knees, panting.
Maya immediately gathered herself to run up to her. “Val, talk to me. Are you alright?” Maya put her ear against Val’s chest, trying to hear her breathing.
A pained wheezing was all that she could make out. Val took her hand in Maya’s. “Home. Safe. For us.”
Maya nodded, biting her lip. Failing to suppress a tear. “Of course, let’s get home.”