There were bodies of unconscious or worse cobluchins on our way through the dungeon.

We heard the battle before we even got done truly making much progress in storming through the corridors. It was loud enough that even our forced march to the source hadn’t revealed us, so we had the element of surprise on our side when we saw the battle going on.

Eris may be around my age, but she had clearly gotten a lot more training in martial arts since arriving on Hekatondrona. Maybe even before being transported here through time and space.

She dodged and ducked the slashes and smashes of six monsters arrayed in front of her. They carried rough clubs of stone, savagely slashed branches as spears, and in the case of one or two of them, delicate metal hammers.

In between her evasive maneuvers, she stabbed out with the short sword in her right hand and occasionally hammered out with the basketball-sized buckler shield in her left. As she went about her battle ballet, I felt outclassed; jealous even - and without even having to command them her monster partners worked with her movements.

The Hyborvid that she was partnered with fluttered about, sending blasts of wind to unbalance the clumsy attacks of the monsters that Eris and her partners faced; and zapping those who swung at it with cold blue electricity that rocketed in their direction out from the arrows on its feathers. The brown and grey dog that fought beside her meanwhile slammed its hands down, shaking the ground and making the opponent’s footing uneven - or occasionally generated rock growths out of the ground for Eris to hop on or against to increase her own movements.

She was getting slower though, even as we watched - and the initial burst of joy I had about her chances started to sink. The monsters were hitting her, and thanks to her reinforced body and armor, that didn’t end things immediately; but I had to get a move on if we were going to save her and turn this around.

First? I needed to really focus on and analyze our opponents.

I could tell they were related to cobluchins, there was no doubt of that looking at them. With lemur-like faces, and sharp, unevenly spaced teeth. They stood almost upright as if they were chimpanzees to the cobluchin’s monkeys, and they were as big as those larger primates. Each of them had large, pointed ears which reminded me of both an elf’s and a bat’s at the same time; and each one of them had fur of a different color. Some pitch black, some tan, some gray, and some orange. Every one of them wore roughly carved wooden shoes on their feet and had some scraps of what seemed to be stolen clothing on them.

Scattered about the room were more defeated cobluchin - but there were some hanging from the rafters and screeching; as if waiting for a moment of faltering strength to join in with their more evolved relatives.

Using Analysis, I took in the data in front of me; ignoring the skill level-up notification I got for for it. I picked one of them at random.

[[Cobgoblins are the favored models, assistants, and workforce of cobblers and leatherworkers. Capable naturally of creating shoes and some other clothing out of readily available materials, Cobgoblins are commonplace within cities where craftsmen can support their obsessive need to work on, create, or repair shoes and clothing. This cobgoblin is male. All cobgoblins are fae and nature-primarily aligned monsters. This cobgoblin has a secondary artifice alignment. Its tertiary alignment is locked. It is level 6.]]

A quick scan of the others showed that they too, were level six - but when I was done I found something else. The analysis skill-up message had a little something I hadn’t expected in it. My monsters also had stats, and I could now distribute their accumulated stat points which were not naturally assigned.

Eight points got distributed equally into Strength and Constitution when it came to Baloo the Cerbearus, because while he would benefit from dexterity and increased speed his greatest strength was being a wrecking ball in salmon spotted bear form.

Eight points went into Strength and Dexterity for Bagheera the ossicarn, because she was ultimately a monster cat and speed would always be her benefit.

Beelebian? He got his two automatically available free points invested into Constitution and Luck. Capable of making and being shields or not; I didn’t expect a bee to be durable.

With the system concerns out of the way, we charged into the fray and I started whistling a tune I knew all too well; Kung Fu Fighting by by Carl Douglas. While no shout to steal their attention from Eris and her monsters, it wasn’t quiet either and threw the Cobgoblins and their cobluchin cohort into a riot over the noise.

Sword in my left hand and Beelebian clinging to my right forearm, I went to work trying to get some pressure off of Eris. As I missed a swing only to be hammered with a club and lose three HP, I knew Moriah and her cindnutums had also joined the fray - volleys of fire and cursing that would have made a sailor blush made that clear.

With the full weight of the six off of Eris, my monsters and I battled three of the cobgoblins while Moriah kept the Cobluchin from joining in and occasionally peppered support fire onto the cobgoblins. I met hammer and club swings with sword parries, wind blasts from beelebian, or pure rushing strikes from my ossicarn and cerbearus.

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Not that they did much; other than gain us space. But that’s what we needed. I may not have very much experience in this world’s battles, but I was a certified expert in monster battles back home.

“Bagheera, use Rolling Stone on the assembled group. At the same time, Baloo you use Salmon Leap and try to get any who try to hop away. Beelebian? Hang on tight!”

Without any lag between hearing and action, my sabertoothed jaguar kitten and my salmon scale spotted bear cub both moved forward. Baloo the cerbearus let out a roar and a few claps of its hands like a seal, before summoning a pillar of water in the air as if it was brought from another dimension. Then it threw itself sideways onto it and rocketed towards the cobgoblins like a projectile launched from a water slide rail gun.

Bagheera the ossicarn meanwhile clawed at the dirt floor of the dungeon like it was tearing up a well-upholstered couch and suddenly created an avalanche in reverse at the cobgoblins. I had practiced these techniques with them many times, but there was definitely something to be said about leveling up. While I almost hesitated as I realized the power they now possessed, I instead used it to encourage myself to charge.

As one, their techniques were completed. Bagheera’s reverse avalanche sent the cobgoblins stumbling backward in retreat. Volleys of sharpened stones slammed into them, causing damage. One had avoided the fall of its fellows only to have Baloo end his trajectory doing a shoulder tackle at the head of an unfortunate cobgoblin. There was a loud crunch as the cobgoblin flew backward into one of the walls.

Then I leaped as hard as I could, up and over Bagheera and the rocks. As I came down, I swung my sword overhead with both hands; Beelebian summoning wind without instruction to increase our momentum. We were about to win! We were about to win!

My sword swipe never landed on the cobgoblins I aimed at. Instead, I found myself facing off against a larger cobgoblin with more complete body covering - indeed leather armor over much of its body and leather and wooden boots covering its feet - and a giant sewing needle which it had stopped my strike with.

I was thrown back with a meaty chimpanzee-like hand as it let out a primate-like challenge to me and my monsters.

Analysis was called out without a thought and I saw the first truly obvious alpha monster. It was level 9; and in addition to the greater armor and equipment it possessed, it was closer to the size of a gorilla in build than a chimpanzee.

Here I was, physically basically a nine-year-old, and facing off a literal monster gorilla. So be it, I should just laugh at the circumstances and bite the neck of the proverbial vulture. If I was going to get stronger in a world of monsters and magic I would have to find courage I had never tested. Indeed, as Bagheera and Baloo stood by my side I felt some measure of warmth; and strength, coming from them to me.

Before it could slash at me with that rapier pretending to be a needle; I struck first. “Beelebian, breezecall.” were my orders as I slashed in a feint at its shoulder, aiming my right forearm at its further foot from me and as that eroded its balance, stomping right where I expected its big toe to be on the nearer foot. The boot would stop some of the force but I stomped with all my might.

It let out a yelp that turned into a roar, and I thought I had it on the ropes. But then its cobgoblin subordinates stopped cerbearus and ossicarn from closing with it. There would be no focusing fire on it for me and my monsters. Just me and Beelebian.

“Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.”

The bee monster piped in and while I didn’t understand its intent I did understand that this fight wouldn’t stop if I was not showing ferocity. A literal boss monster had just dropped into the fight and I hadn’t even finished my basic martial training.

The alpha cobgoblin and I went into our own deadly dance and I matched it swing for swing. When I slowed or would have been struck down, Beelebian blasted wind to launch us out of place or literally hardened its body to allow me to block a strike. But two damage turned into five damage turned into ten and then fifteen on me. My body hurt, and as much as I wanted to fight like a musclebound action hero I knew I wasn’t one. I was not even a real warrior, I hadn’t picked up the guard class.

As Moriah launched literal fireballs from her hand and hammer swings, as Eris blocked strikes, made her own, and even launched an occasional technique of silvery cutting energy from her sword - I felt I had made the wrong decision. Stranger had benefits; sure, and its experience boosts would be helpful - but only if we survived.

As I mused, I took another tick of damage, losing two more HP from a slash across the chest by that oversized needle. As I huffed, and puffed, I caught a nick in its armor I hadn’t noticed before. I caught a shoe that had become unlaced in our battle; and I saw Eris readying an empty reliquary - one that lacked the ever-present glow of one that was bound to hold a monster.

[[Strange Ways activated.]]

The message was quick but dominated my vision, and as it left I saw squares at that nick, at that shoelace, and at its cut left ear. Each had a number beside it, and I took them instinctively to mean targeting suggestions. The second one even had a beehive symbol glowing on it.

I charged at it to stomp at the loose shoelace, I punched out with my right arm and sent Beelebian rocketing at the loose plate in the alpha cobgoblin’s armor, and I gave a diagonal slash on the already cut ear.

It threw its right shoulder back to dodge Beelebian’s suddenly visible silvery stinger-like horn, it threw itself to dodge my slash that would open its ear up all the more, and it then lost its balance as my foot on its shoelace took it out of its boot.

It stumbled backward and right into the reliquary that Eris had initially thrown to capture one of its cohorts. It was swallowed up and the octahedral die she had thrown began to spin violently. Like a tornado of light and wood, it spun and finally stopped. There was a clink as it landed showing the eighth face of the die.

Eris had captured it and with its defeat, the rest of the cobgoblins and cobluchin present fled. My head throbbed, so I flopped to the ground, finding myself both in pain and laughing.