Daryl held Cindy tight as she continued to lose herself to grief. Confusion filled his mind as he struggled to remember all the lessons he took on how to help others through their grief. It was plain that Cindy was hurting, that she was blaming herself for what was happening.

Part of him believed it though, they wouldn’t be in this world if Cindy had just stayed in the house. Don’t blame her. His mind raced as he stroked her back with his thumb and let her take fistfuls of his shirt and stuff her wailing face inside it. She is just a child.

“Shhhhh….” Daryl kept trying to calm her as he leaned back and cradled her like she was a small baby again. Inconsolable. She was lost in a sea of pain and depression that he could do nothing to help with but be there. And it ate him up inside. “Shhhhh,” He hushed as he rocked her gently.

Years of carrying her as a baby, rocking, shushing, bouncing, all of it filled his mind with memories that brought aches to his heart as he put all those skills to use trying to soothe his daughter. None of it seemed to help. She saw people die today. Saw those monsters destroy parts of this town.

Daryl knew that he too was feeling it. But he couldn’t touch those feelings right now. Cindy needed him. Needed him to be a rock in the storm of her own emotions. She was confused, young, and obviously someone manipulated her. Or multiple people. This Gaia, this strange person she summoned, who fooled Cindy into thinking it was her mother.

Heart aching Daryl stood up and started to walk around the room, muscles doing what they had done last time she was this wracked with crying. Daryl never felt so powerless as in these moments. When all he could be was a solid wall, a bastion of warmth. None of the things he did seemed to help as he watched Cindy lose herself. She started to gag and soon vomited all over his arm with how powerful her grief was.

All Daryl did was move her away from the creeping wetness that spread down his arm, ignoring it as he did everything he could, which felt like nothing. “Shhhhh,” Daryl hid the desperation in his voice, walled his emotions away so that he could be there as soon as she was ready. “It’s going to be ok. I’m here Badger.”

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Eternity passed, Cindy grew weaker with every sob and soon enough she grew silent and collapsed into unconsciousness. Daryl grew worried when she stilled, then felt her start to breath and still sob in her sleep. He was exhausted, and he barely did anything but pace and soothe. Kneeling he set her on the bed and tucked blankets around her. Then he looked at the vomit that vaporized and turned into motes and floated away.

Daryl put his hands over his face and took deep breaths, steeling his mind and heart. How deeply he wanted to grieve. It wasn’t time though, the last time he took a moment to do so, in the privacy of a bathroom Cindy had run away. All the bubbling emotions roiled inside his gut and slowly but surely he packed each of those things away in boxes, tucked them into a mental closet, and closed the door.

Rubbing his face he felt no stubble, no hair growth and simply missed the act of shaving. Of grooming and cleaning away everything. This world didn’t need things like that. It was so alien, so wrong in so many ways.

Dayl pulled out a roasted meat and ate it to occupy his time and mind. He let everything fall away into an emptiness of mind. Just immersed himself in the act of the eating this world made happen. Impossible bites of food at impossible speeds as he pulled every last morsel of meat off the bone without any issues. There was no gristle in the meat, nothing to catch his teeth on in. It felt wrong.

This world was just that. Wrong. It was doing these things to his daughter. He would damn this place to whatever fate waited for it in order to bring his daughter home. Where they could be normal, grieve like normal people. Instead of being swept away in these adventures and saving this world from an unknown threat.

Something though ate at the back of his mind. Something he wasn’t fighting. Could it be possible Marilyn is back? Could we really be together again? No. She was gone and there was no changing that. Whoever was confusing his daughter was an imposter. Daryl looked down at Cindy and her shuddering form. There would be no telling when she would wake up. It could be hours, could be minutes as her mind pulled itself back together.

Daryl knelt there and crossed his arms. Then rested his chin in their crook as he looked down at the young little girl. She was in the middle of the cycle. How could he get her to the end? To get her to accept that Marilyn was gone? This world was helping her be in denial of the truth. “I need to get you home Badger, I don’t think this place is good for you, good for us.” He said as he looked down at her slowly stilling form as the sobs faded.

Pinching the sheet and blankets he wiped at the tears and snot off her face. He was so tired, but she would need him when she woke up. But, it would be so hard to bring himself to keep talking to her about Marilyn, about this imposter.

Thoughts of all the people that died at the wall, the wrongness he felt in the monsters that attacked. How many people would he damn if he brought Cindy home and they weren’t here to stop what was happening?