Back at the shelter, Hank Fowler got to work on dinner.

He sparked a fire, grabbed a couple of fish, skewered them on sticks, and set them over the flames.

It wasn't long before the savory aroma of grilled fish filled the air.

Hank licked his lips, trying to be patient. It felt like an eternity.

Five minutes later, the fish were golden brown, and the smell was driving him nuts. He didn't waste any more time, tearing into them with gusto. Grease was practically dripping down his chin.

In no time, both fish were reduced to bones.

Hank wiped his mouth, already wishing he had more.

Then, he chugged a bottle of water.

Feeling stuffed, he was about to head into his The Hut when Luna Lovelace's voice called out, "Hank! I've got your thatch!"

Hank looked up to see Luna Lovelace approaching, hauling two huge bundles of thatch.

She dropped them near the The wooden fence with a thud. "That's about thirty pounds of thatch. We still owe you seventy, so I'll be back this afternoon."

"Sounds good." Hank grinned. "You keep at it. I'm gonna go take a nap."

"Wait a sec."

Luna stopped him.

"What's up?" Hank asked, raising an eyebrow.

Luna cut straight to the chase. "We want to trade some treasure chests for more water."

"You found more chests?" Hank asked, surprised. "Didn't you just get three yesterday? And now two more? Are you guys cheating or something?"

"Yep, two more today!" Luna said with a smile.

Hank was puzzled. "Opening chests is a gamble, sure, but you can get some good stuff. Why trade them to me?"

"Water's a resource too, right?" Luna said, shrugging. "And it's something we need right now. It's a fair trade."

"Fair enough," Hank nodded. "How much water are we talking?"

"Ten bottles!" she said without hesitation.

Hank thought for a moment. "Deal. Go get the chests." His little spring produced ten bottles of water a day, and he only drank about five. He had planned to trade the surplus anyway. Ten bottles of water for two chests was a pretty good deal.

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"Be right back," Luna chirped, skipping off.

Hank went into The Hut, grabbed ten bottles of water, and returned to wait.

A few minutes later, Luna came running back, clutching two black iron chests. "Here you go, Hank!"

Hank took the chests, giving them a once-over, and said, "The water's on the ground. Help yourself."

Luna gathered the water bottles, smiling. "I'll be going then."

"Hey, if you find more chests, you can always trade with me," Hank called after her. "I've got food too, not just water."

"Alright, I'll talk to Zara Vance about it," she replied, hurrying away.

Hank carried the two chests into his shelter and set them down. He stared at them for a moment, then decided to strike up a conversation. "Hey there, little chests. How are you?"

"We're fine!" the two chests replied in unison.

"Huh?" Hank blinked.

The other chests he'd found before had been total jerks, giving him the cold shoulder.

What was with these two?

So polite. It was freaking him out a little.

After a moment of awkwardness, Hank asked, "So, what goodies do you have inside?"

The first chest said, "I've got a pack of smokes."

The second chest said, "I've got a bag of chips."

Hank's face fell.

Ten bottles of water for this? What a rip-off.

But, what could he do? He opened the chests.

A pack of generic cigarettes and a bag of plain potato chips. Great.

Hank sighed and stashed the disappointing loot in his Spatial Bag.

Next, he grabbed the thatch Luna had brought and carried it to The Hut. "Hey, Thatchy, open wide."

A crack appeared on the wall of The Hut, like a gaping maw.

Hank tossed the two bundles of thatch inside.

"What are we making this time, Hank?" Thatchy asked.

"Nothing for now. We're saving up for an upgrade," Hank replied. He had a bed now, so he was good on furniture for the moment.

"Thank you, Hank!" Thatchy said happily.

"No problem, buddy. We're a team," Hank said with a smile. He opened the door, went inside, and lay down on his thatch bed, ready for a nap.

But a few minutes in, his stomach started to grumble. A different kind of grumble.

It hit him. He'd been on this island for two days, and he hadn't taken a single dump.

He was eating, but nothing was coming out. That couldn't be good.

Hank got up, opened the door, and headed straight for the outhouse.

"Hank, what are you doing? Are you going to take a crap?" The Corn asked.

"Yeah," Hank admitted, then asked, "Why do you care?"

"Did you forget what I told you?" The Corn said, sounding excited. "I eat crap to level up! Hurry up and feed me!"

Hank chuckled, walking over to The Corn. "Where do you want it? Should I just aim for your face?"

If he had to aim for The Corn's face, he would have to bend over and take a dump, which would be challenging.

He'd never tried that before.

He wasn't sure he could pull it off.

"Just dig a hole next to me with The entrenching tool, do your business in the hole, and then cover it back up with dirt," The Corn explained.

"That's easy enough," Hank muttered. He grabbed The entrenching tool, dug a hole, and then said, "Close your eyes while I go. No peeking."

"Don't worry, I'm not into that," The Corn replied. "I just like eating poop!"

Hank felt a little better. He started to undo his belt, but then he remembered something.

He didn't have any toilet paper!

What was he going to do after he was done?

Crap. He pulled his pants back up.

"Hank, what's wrong?" The Corn asked, sounding impatient.

"Hold on a sec," Hank said. He opened the trading hall interface.

He searched, but nobody was selling toilet paper.

Then, he opened the regional chat group and sent a message: "Hey guys, anyone got toilet paper? I can trade water or food."

Wally Cox: Hank, what do you need toilet paper for?

Hank Fowler: To wipe my ass, obviously.

Wally Cox: At a time like this, when it's hard to even find food, you're using toilet paper? That's pretty extravagant!

Hank Fowler: What am I supposed to use then?

Eddie Drumpf: Rocks, thatch, or leaves work just fine.

Hank Fowler: ...