Part Six 2/2_My Perfectly Normal Trip To IKEA

(Continuing from Part Six 1/2)

——————

Nick stopped walking. I couldn’t stop as I bumped into his back. I could hear a small ambience, like a constant electronic stream.

The escalator.

It was still a good distance away, but I could hear it, the thunderstorm back at the hole only slightly overpowering it. The opening of the outcropping must have been a two or three minute stumble away.

“Just wait for a minute,” He whispered.

What fucking ever man. Say jump.

I felt a small object bump against the back of my leg. I lost the ability to be startled about fifteen minutes ago. I reached behind me to feel Kanata’s head land in my palm. I reached down to her mouth to find that Excalibur had been returned to me. I slid the pole out of her grip. I counted my blessings that I had the strength to grip it in my palm. There were too many pairs of wet footsteps moving around the immediate area. Abel had said they watch that escalator like the president. Stupid motherfuckers. If customers are in The Warehouse, you should be escorting them out, not grabbing to keep them in an employees-only area for all eternity. Who pays these assholes?

I leaned into Nick’s ear. My voice shook like it had an effect pedal.

“Flashlight?”

“You realize that once it goes on you’re starting a war, right?”

Kind of. A weird part of me wanted to do it right now just to end the nervous trauma.

“How long are we supposed to wait? Are they gonna disperse?” I asked.

“No, they never would. That’s not what we’re waiting for…….. I’m just scared.”

For fuck’s sake. I have no room to talk, but at this point? I held the pole upright and gripped it at the end with both hands. If I pretend it’s a katana, I feel a little stronger. My katana from Kanata.

“What can I do to help you?” I said.

“Make an elevator?”

Think you could buy one at IKEA? Maybe I can find a schematic for it.

“I can’t promise you that I’m not gonna pass out in the next three minutes if I keep standing still.”

“Well then fff-fucking bob in place, I don’t know. Stop talking.”

This is fucking ridiculous.

“Nick, we have to go.”

“I know, I know…………. can you even use that thing if you’re gonna pass out? You can barely even stand.”

I thought about not answering.

“I’ll figure it out.”

Nick was clearly not realizing my nearly out of the question chance of making it up that escalator. The moment I have to actually “use that thing”, is a moment I will not be spending much mortal time in. Telling him what was actually happening inside of me would probably give him a reason to drop Lizzie and run again like a little bitch. I’ll choose not to explain myself, and leave him more hopeful of the situation.

He sighed carefully.

“……Alright…….. I’ll go by your call……..” He said.

Hear that, asshole? It’s in your hands now. You wanna call it ridiculous? Take the fucking helm.

“Do you know where the clearing begins?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright… let’s walk to it. Once you reach it, I’ll throw on the flashlight so you can see, and they’ll be drawn to me. Bolt for the escalator with Lizzie. Kanata and I will figure it out.”

“What kind of stupid fucking plan is that?”

“Shut up. It’s the plan where not all of us die at once if things go wrong.”

“You’re an idiot. You’re just trying to make a plan that leaves it back in my control, not yours.”

“You wanna make a better one, or are you gonna walk?”

——————

“Fuckin…. Okay-shit shit shit-okay….”

“I need you here, Nick-“

“-yeah, I-..…….. yeah, let’s do it.”

——————

I heard the soft rolling of Nick’s feet moving away from me. I followed, putting all the strength in my body towards my ankles keeping a solid state of matter. The real struggle was about to start. It was quite likely that I would be too out of it to notice that Nick had started running, and get killed out of what I’d think is nowhere.

Final stretch…….. well, not really. Just don’t get distracted.

Maybe more valorous folks would disagree, but I’m personally finding it very hard to get psyched up when I’m considering myself the walking dead. I’m currently attempting to do a mental run through of some of my worst moments. I’m hoping to build up a similar rage to the one that broke my bedside table. Though, that was somewhat of an isolated incident. Believe that or don’t, I don’t fucking care. I never really grasped the concept of using anger as a motivator. It just leads to fighting blind instead of smart. As if I wasn’t blind enough right now.

Anyway, on a somewhat parallel note, I’m happy to say that this awful experience has made me grow very tired of my own cryptic attitude. Stupid of a practice as I think it is, if I’m going to die, I shouldn’t leave anything unsaid. If this is going to be my final pre-addendum offering to the story, I should let some baggage off. You deserve it, right? You’ve sat through enough monotony to get here.

Then you can readily decide your opinion on…. it….. for yourself. Uhh… yeah! I think that works the best.

——————

Well……. I don't really know how to start.

She was my girlfriend in high school. I think it started in junior year. No, maybe it was sophomore. It doesn’t really matter I guess. We met in physics class. Maybe it was junior year then. All I remember is that no matter how old I was, I was out of my fucking depth. I’d feel more confident explaining my math on the construction of this IKEA than I would the factor of gravity in force. She was quiet. I was too, at least, I tried to act that way by the time I got to high school. Toby told me once that two quiet people should never seek each other out.

Well, we didn’t exactly seek each other out. It was more like-

“-Flashlight FLASHLIGHT GODDAMMIT DO IT NOW!”

Whoops, guess I was right. Didn’t I say no more daydreaming?

——————

I almost threw the flashlight as my shaky hand quickly ripped it from my pocket and flicked it on. The horrible image that met me was like a punch in the bladder, begging me to piss my pants. I illuminated the surface of about fifteen powdered faces around the escalator clearance. It felt like I had lifted up a body to uncover all the maggots beneath it.

Peek-a-boo!

Nick (with baggage of Lizzie) was on the escalator, moving upwards extremely slowly. There was a staff member directly behind him on the steps that had turned to me along with every other face. The stairs pulled him away from me just enough for him to slightly lose interest in the light and turn back to Nick.

Fuck, guess it’s showtime.

“COME ON COME ON! I’M RIGHT HERE, WHY AM I GETTING LEFT OUT OF THE CIRCLEJERK?!”

Moths to a flame.

As the first volley of staff bolted towards me, Kanata strategically ran a slalom in front of their legs, tripping them like dominoes over each other. She began howling and barking louder than I thought was possible. It was probably just attracting more to the area, but she knew as well as I did that it was distracting them from the real situation. Kanata wasn’t alone though. I was the first one to scream, and the one with the beacon in my hand.

Two of them ran directly at me. One from the left, one from the right. The pole was barely as long as their arms, and they were much taller than me. I wouldn’t be able to reach their head very easily. I panicked, of course realizing in action that I had not thought about the physical logistics of fighting these things in any serious way. Typical, acting before thinking. I’d let myself off easy there, but if I can’t distract and stall these things long enough for Lizzie to get out, it was all for nothing. Dying instantly is not heroic.

Alright, what’s the best way to fight an eldritch IKEA employee?

Well, step one, don’t. Step two, do my best to pretend my body isn’t real, and I’m not in it.

The only immediate “smart” plan was the one that the not-so-shockingly more intelligent animal had come up with. I ran to the right because it was the first directional word that just happened to appear in my stream of consciousness. I barely escaped the reach of the staff member in that direction. I have to think as many seconds ahead as I can. Their arms are long. Have to give a wide berth. I whipped around to see the opposite Staff tripping over the back of his coworker, trampling them both to the ground. I think they’re obnoxiously greedy. So much so that once they see a target to hunt, they disregard each other completely in their pursuit.

Fuckin’ wage slaves.

A “SIR” yelling bastard lunged out of the cover of a post-Indiana-nuked-fridge, the gray of his skin only glowing as he was basically right on top of me. Too bad for him, I was now different from that bar-crawl-like stupor I was in a couple minutes ago. I was now the last bit of wired I could possibly be. I ducked and just barely felt the breeze of its arm rush through my hair. Though I was proud of my quick dodge, I was disheartened by the stumble it sent me into. I barely avoided falling face-first into the floor, somehow managing to stay aloft.

No surprise at this point, but something was alarmingly wrong. Every time I made a serious statement of forceful movement, my body was basically screaming for me to stop. It was warning me that something very bad was about to happen. My body had never spoken to me like that before. Never had it made me feel so aware of myself as only the helpless brain I was, floating around in my susceptible mech of flesh and bone. Hard to pretend my body isn’t real when that’s happening. My broken rib was becoming harder and harder to notice in isolation, as its level of attrition was quickly becoming commonplace around every part of my body.

I didn’t have much time. I was like a sparkler distracting young children. My fuse was short and only getting shorter. I looked towards the escalator, as my light barely illuminated the image of Nick and Lizzie about halfway up. An anger grew in me, as I had looked just in time to see Nick trip, trying to shakily run up the stairs. Through the glass wall, I saw him drop Lizzie’s body into the serrated steps. Since I was already making myself the center of attention, I felt comfortable voicing my dissatisfaction with that.

“ARE YOU FUCKING DISABLED?! GET HER THE FUCK UP GODDAMMIT!”

We all may very well be disabled, but it just felt good to scream at him. I paid for that wrath just a couple seconds after. I focused my attention back onto my own path, just as Kanata ran in front of me from the left.

Shit.

I looked in the direction she came, just in time to see the Staff member closest to catching her on top of me. It barreled into me as I spiraled forward. I felt the flashlight fall out of my hand. It spun on the ground, its illumination of the clearing oscillating like a loading animation. I hit the ground hardest on my right shoulder. It was still currently my good arm, but the fall thankfully wasn’t as taxing as the other had been to my left. I still felt the stable grip of the pole in my right fist. I heard and felt the ruckus of staff tripping over each other on the ground. I assumed the linebacker that had trucked me was on the ground the same as I was. The flashlight ended its spin cycle, facing to where Kanata had run as I looked up to see her pivoting back towards me.

“RUFF RUFF RUFF!”

She jumped over my body as I rolled out of the light. Being on the ground was bad. As Kanata tried to distract the mass, I began using the pole to try and escape the quicksand of the floor’s relaxing inertia. Luckily, in my new heroic state, I was still in the grips of a quickly fleeting adrenaline. It wasn’t gone just yet. Albeit more shakily than a rope-bridge with Parkinson’s, and almost entirely relying on my extraneous limb, I reached my feet again.

I looked around to Kanata, still barking wildly. I noticed a small twang beginning to develop in her boisterous snaps. I couldn’t imagine her vocal chords reaching a point of exhaustion, but I feared that’s what might happen soon. She was still moving like an unstoppable pinball though. (RA) She’d make starting room-only Verruckt look like child’s play (RA). Perhaps Kanata was so fantastic at herding the things because they didn’t understand the movements of animals like they did humans. Maybe they thought Kanata was a human, and simply couldn’t comprehend how she was moving so goddamn fast down on her hands and knees.

I looked back towards the escalator. Nick was back on his feet, having reclaimed Lizzie in his arms. He was about 75% of the way to the top. Seeing them reach the upstairs was fine, but If I wanted to help the entire way, I recognized the fact that I would have to find my way up the escalator. That didn’t seem extremely possible without calling the fucking Ghostbusters. I began running back towards the flashlight on the far side of the clearing.

While I ran, I fought to rip my focus off of Kanata’s impressive control of the crowd.

How far would she go to help me? Was Kanata really even helping me? Was she my guardian angel, or was she only protecting me in order to expedite the escape of Lizzie? I would certainly feel better about it if Lizzie was the one Kanata was protecting. Even so, I couldn’t shake the thought process crafting itself in my mind.

Kanata had saved my life before, but…

——————

In a cautionary hypothetical, you’re driving on a dangerously winding road. If you’re in a car with multiple human passengers, you being the human driver, and an animal jumps in front of the car, what do you do?

Of course, nobody wants to strike an animal with their car. It’s a horrible murderous feeling to hit another living thing with your vehicle, domesticated or not.

However, in that situation, what is the morally sound decision? Hit the animal, or swerve off the road and kill three humans?

——————

As I reached the flashlight and scooped it into my left hand, I forced down the self-hatred bubbling in my stomach. I looked towards the base of the escalator, and memorized its direction and distance. I heard a couple pairs of footsteps behind me, but nothing compared to the giant crowd behind Kanata as she ran towards me.

I thought of Lizzie’s face that I had only seen wrinkled in fear and worry for the short time I’d known it. I used the idea of what it might look like to see that face smile.

I’m so sorry.

As Kanata ran in front of me, surely not expecting any danger from my immediate direction, I planted my foot into her side and turned off the flashlight.

——————

I heard a horrible whimper arise from Kanata. In the sudden darkness, I immediately felt nauseatingly chickenshit. I pivoted and tried my best to quietly roll over to the escalator, hearing the flurry of Staff members tripping over each other behind me. I struggled not to turn back around.

My certainty had slipped away from me in the same second I committed the act.

Why did I do that why did I do that why did I do that?! Was it even necessary? Hypothetical situation?! That’s not the same! The death of the animal isn’t paramount for the humans’ survival in that stupid textbook scenario, it’s just an unfortunate accident. I did that by choice. If there was any glaring necessity for sacrifice in this situation, it was supposed to be from…

From me… but instead I…

I wanted to go back and throw myself into the fucking crowd. If Lizzie was awake to see what I just did….

“RUFF RUFF!”

Kanata’s bark was muffled. Under a pile of bodies so thin, there couldn’t have been any less than thirty in order to muffle her.

I…. I could still save her…. If I turned around and screamed, maybe they would be distracted and confused, maybe-………

No, no…. Lizzie is the priority.

I shoved the flashlight back in my pocket, and felt the rubber railing of the escalator run against my left palm. I felt the electric hum in my hand. I had rightfully expected not to feel it in my legs. I began stepping upwards, the wriggling mess spewing a cacophony behind, a horrible hint of whining from its center. I could already feel that sound beginning to haunt me.

At least I might not have to live haunted for long.

I began stepping up the escalator. I felt so drunk off of pain and self-doubt, that I was now actively fighting off the urge to laugh aloud. The darkness multiplied that intoxication. I assumed the flashlight didn’t matter. If they could truly see in the dark like I was sure that they could, the only person the darkness was handicapping would be me. Despite that, I kept it off.

I couldn’t bring myself to possibly look back at what I just did. The darkness protected me from my decision.

I reached Nick just as my shoe caught a stair with a scratch.

“SIR!”

I could hear a tripping body ricochet up the stairs.

“What the hell was that noise?” Nick hissed.

I knew he wasn’t referring to the reaper on its way up to us.

“Just fucking run,” I replied absently.

That would be the last time I whispered that night. I almost face-planted into the ground as it leveled out. I braced myself on Nick’s back. We were up. All of us. All of us humans.

——————

I remembered I didn’t have time for remorse as the bulldozer grew closer to our backs. I quickly looked around until my eye caught the familiar beacon in the far distance of night.

“That way!” I shouted at Nick.

Railing wall to stairs to railing wall to railing wall to stairs to railing wall as Nick turned and began running. I tried to start following him, but stopped as I considered something. The thing was close, but we weren’t in its true domain anymore. Up here, we had a chance. I darted backwards in the opposite direction of Nick. I heard his furious footsteps barreling towards the light of Return and Exchange. I had to distract the Staff from hearing that sound. I flicked the flashlight back on and spun around just in time to see the thing practically fly out of the staircase and raze the bookshelf across the aisle. As it scrambled to its feet, I shone the light around me momentarily. The glow met a lighthouse clock in a living room display.

3:19 AM.

I ran and grabbed it, then looked back towards the staff member.

“HEY!”

Its head shot around towards me as I raised my arm, and dashed the clock across the ground, shattering it completely in a raucous blast. Thing was fucking ugly anyway.

“SIR!”

“WHAT?! BREAK IT YOU BUY IT?!”

It bolted towards me as I lunged into the room and vaulted through the empty window opening in the far wall.

“I’M SORRY TO TELL YOU, BUT I’VE BEEN UNEMPLOYED FOR QUITE A WHILE NOW, SO I PROBABLY WON’T BE ABLE TO DO THAT!”

Joking was weird after what I had just done.

Weird isn’t a good word, difficult is better.

I considered taking up mindless screaming in oppose to going down with a smile.

It bolted into the room in front of me. I had happily sighed to see that it didn't immediately throw its entire body threw the opening after me, but the way it began quickly clawing its way over the gap wasn’t fun to watch either.

“Come on, c’mere…”

It sprawled out on the floor in front of me as I fought the urge to kick it in the head. It began to rise as I threw myself around the bend of the bedroom, hopping back into the hall. I had gotten there just in time to see the sprawling mass that had formed in front of me from five more Staff members catapulting themselves up the escalator.

“Shi-“

“-FUCK!”

I heard a cry out from Nick in the distance unseen. I audibly ticked at the annoyance of him going against my effort of distraction, however unintentional it was. I hoped against hope that it was just from him being startled, and nothing had physically stopped him. I saw the wriggling mass look towards his direction on their jumbled way to their feet. I serpentined around the other side of the escalator walls, smashing the pole against them. I had hoped they were glass, but happily settled for the giant tribal drum effect that the translucent plastic had offered as attention shifted back to me. This weapon was more for auditory combat than physical altercations. I went through one more backroad of bedrooms before shifting back to the trail, a familiar stampede now behind me.

“NICK! STOP SCREAMING UNTIL YOU’RE CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE WALL THAT THEY CAN HEAR YOU!”

It was strange that I was the one giving instructions. I’m not sure how many days Nick had in his diary log, but I’m sure it was more than me. And yet, probably much less long winded...

“ALSO, DON’T RESPOND TO WHAT I JUST SAID AT ALL! I’M SURE YOU KNEW THAT BUT…. I’M JUST HOPING THAT’S THE REASON YOU DIDN’T!”

Alright, back to joking.

“ALRIGHT KIDS, LET’S GO!”

I reacquainted myself with the dark forest of furniture. In reality, it was probably just as dark as it had been down there, but with Return and Exchange in the background, it felt so much easier to traverse. I was almost considering turning off the flashlight. I couldn’t believe it didn’t hurt to run. The more I thought about it, I was….. I was feeling a little better. Almost good.

I would’ve focused on that obvious warning sign but…

I was trying to listen for the sound of Nick’s normal footsteps over the mess behind me when I heard something that somehow scared me more than the caravan at my back.

“RUFF RUFF!”

——————

I didn’t stop running, but I had the overwhelming desire to.

Wha…. What the fuck?

If this is what being haunted sounds like, I might as well immolate myself right now, because…… that was… indistinguishable. It was almost like she was…

“RUFF!”

Kanata began running beside me.

——————

As I shined the glow directly on her, she stopped panting, mouth closed, and stared up at me as we both ran. We held eye contact for an incredibly long time, her pupils glowing from the light. She didn’t snarl, didn’t growl, didn’t bare her teeth. She just stared at me as the universe around us disappeared. In that silence, I could hear the unspoken contingency. If she wanted to, Kanata was very much capable of tripping me, and leaving me ripe for the flailing mass following behind us. I was very much incapable of avoiding it in the state I was in.

She didn’t do anything. We just stared at each other for a stretching eternity, until eventually, Kanata resumed panting, and faced forward again like nothing had happened.

“RUFF RUFF!”

——————

It wasn’t so easy for me to peel my gaze away from her. It instead had to be demanded away by the sound of a dresser being obliterated right in front of me. I turned just barely in time to curve my path around its remains and the influx of two Staff that had concurrently toppled through it. As I directed my beacon back towards the path I was running, I began seeing this happen to my left and right, before a path was opened for a score of employees to begin barreling directly towards me. This must have been the runoff that Nick had attracted with his screaming, the same group which Kanata and I had now won over the attention of. I took a risk and jumped over one of the wriggling messes to the left of me. I deviated from the main trail and wove myself into the random maze of walkways surrounding the displays, before the vigesimal entourage had been able to reach my position. Kanata didn’t follow me, but I assumed she could handle herself just fine.

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

I kept the flashlight on until I found a reasonable amount of runway to quickly flip it off and get my bearing of necessary direction. I almost fell as I realized Return and Exchange was an unbelievable distance closer than it had been two seconds ago. No, closer than it had been what I thought was two seconds ago. It didn’t hurt to run because I was creeping quite close to living braindead. I was moving because my body had developed a blue-plus-ultra-instinct-autopilot for walking and running these past couple weeks. I was actively drifting in and out of consciousness while my muscles continued on their own. I was sure I had just jumped away from the path two seconds ago, but letting my brain try to process that, it made more sense that I had done it a couple minutes ago.

I’m running out of time.

I flicked the light back on, now knowing that I was almost completely helpless to judge distance and time, and would definitely collide with something, or someone in the dark. Looking through the display windows was now almost a guarantee that I would see a smoky figure darting parallel to me. They must have been spilling up on my left and right rather than all of them single file behind me. Maybe they were greedy, but that didn’t necessarily mean that everyone one of them would think the exact same way. I flew through the back alleys, constantly expecting to turn a corner and see an elongated hug waiting for me. I needed to get back to the main road, but I was sure that making the attempt to go hard right was a streamlined method to being contested. I knew there were too many rats in this maze for me to make it out without any extra holes. I needed a distraction.

Okay, brainstorm. I can throw something. A clock, a book, a stapler, a cup maybe? Something that would shatter would definitely be nice. Something heavy enough to shatter something else in the process would be even better. Cool, so I’m throwing something. Then what do I do? Weather it? Hide? I would definitely have to hide. Let them think they lost track of me somehow, and I’m actually way over there or there or there all of a sudden. Throw them off the trail, wait a little while, then dart out. Is that possible? Would they fall for it? I definitely can’t run immediately after throwing it, I would have to wait for everyone to pass. If I hit one still running towards it on my way out, I’m fucked. The thing is, they’re looking at me right now. I feel like even when I’m not in their immediate visions, they’re still all basically staring me down. Once they want you, they always see you. Meaning, is it even possible to hide? I could throw something, but they would probably grab me out from behind whatever hiding place I chose before it even reached its destination. How do I get them to go for it without having it be so close to me that they choose me over it?

How do I….

——————

It was a Hail Mary, and probably would cause way more trouble for me than I was currently processing, but I felt like it was worth it.

“Goddammit.”

I looked towards the displays ahead of me. I saw a bedroom set that opened to the right, the queen bed shooting parallel to the path I was about to enter. If there was any chance, it was about to pass. No time to second guess. Either die, or take the chance to probably die but maybe not idk I wouldn’t hold your breath but you do you youngblood.

I liked the second option.

I slid the pole up my shirt, felt out a good arc, and tossed the flashlight forward and to the left, still on. I watched it as it rose and stayed in the air for what felt like a year. Enough time for me to do my regular checklist of regretting the last twenty-five decisions I’ve made every time I make a new one. This was the longest it’d ever taken, but eventually, it came down. Its light scintillated jagged shadows through the arena of displays, before my surroundings and I became plunged in an almost perfect darkness. The small in-between came just in time for me to drop to my stomach and practically throw my body underneath the bolted down bed frame, the pole jabbing roughly into my right cheek as I gripped it hard enough to stop the clattering.

The crash followed after. It was perfect.

Loud, drawn out, and annoyingly incessant. The domino effect made it clear that the flashlight had toppled over some towering display of photos and trinkets.

Bang bang bang bang bang.

——————

A moment lingered where I was still completely ready to be ripped out from under the bed, but I never was. The cyclone stormed through the alleys to pass my position. I could feel their stomping against my cheek to the ground. I felt the rippling shockwaves of them slamming each other against my apartment walls. I looked up. The tiniest little bit of light reaching this far was enough to show me a strange sliver of gray ankles cascading through the hallway adjacent to me. I felt like I was having a stroke watching it. It didn’t feel right, do you know what I mean? Something about that sight made my head do a horrified pirouette, more than my mistake of resting already was. Yeah, I had sadly forgotten about that part.

No, this was different. It gave me that tingle you get in the back of your head when your eyes refuse to comprehend what’s in front of you. It’s like your brain is nervous. Not you, it’s not your emotions. It’s like you can feel that the actual object area of your brain in your skull is trembling. Like your brain is terrified of something in front of it. Something it knows it has no palpable ability to understand. Another second that lasted forever kept that tingle going way too long for comfort. It’s ironic, but I felt like such a child hiding under that bed, just so susceptible. But once I turned 65, the barely visible writhing gray sliver dissipated. I listened carefully. They were all there. Perfectly, yet sporadically, huddled around that exact distance at which the flashlight fell. They slapped each other around like electrons as I cowered. I can’t keep doing this. I need to move. Especially if I even dream of catching up with Nick before he reaches the door. What’s some shit Bruce Willis might say right now?

I’m not in the bed, I’m the monster hiding under it. So no time for dreaming, only doing.

Think Christopher Nolan would buy that line off me? Ugh, yeah, I wouldn’t either.

I rolled out from under the bed. I had already made some noise doing that, but the pile up was still creating so much more on its own that mine was practically enveloped. I made my way to my feet as I returned the pole to my hand. I could barely see a little forgiving shrapnel of light, but still hugged the far wall of the bedroom set as I readied myself to round the corner.

3… 2…

I felt a blast of wind rush past my face so powerful that it actively ruffled my shirt and hair. It was akin to standing in front of an exposed particle accelerator (because I totally know what that’s like). One of them had blasted right by me at mach-five, distracted by its own kind. No, probably not. Probably only distracted by the objects they were knocking over. Something told me they recognized the sound of their own bodies enough to not waste their time on the hunt for each other. It was so fast that I hadn’t even heard it coming. I was just about to breeze through like it was nothing. Fuck it, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

I stormed in the direction it came, blindly. I held my numb left hand in front of me, pole clutched to my chest with the right. I couldn’t feel the sensation on my skin, but I felt the impact when my palm hit a wall. I felt around the edge until I found the next alley. Okay, run. Hit a wall. Feel around the edge. Find the alley. Okay, run. I could hear Nick beginning to scream to the wall from somewhere that wasn’t nearly as far away as I thought it’d be. How fast had I been traveling through those woods? I have no idea what my body is doing. I couldn’t even tell how loud I was being in comparison to him, but I still heard them all in the-

——————

I don’t even know how to describe the sound that one of them just made, and I don’t want to. It’ll make me throw up if I think about it. I thought they only said “SIR”. Why the fuck would they make another noise? Why? Jesus Christ why?! What was it, anger? Enraged that they had been outsmarted by the piece of cheese in the maze? Do they have emotions like that? What would give them a reason to make a noise like that? Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my fucking God stop thinking about it stop stop stop.

I reached the main hallway as it was still happening. I stumbled my way forward to face back towards Return. I couldn’t see my path, just that I was on it. If there was something on the ground for me to trip on, it was getting the better of me, no doubt about it. A vignette had started crawling into my vision. I was in no way in tune with myself enough to confirm it, but I recognized that I was more floundering than running. I was moving so fast, it was almost ridiculous how rapid the furniture was streaming past me.

I could also see the silhouette far in front of me. I guess he heard me, because I saw him turn his head back.

“THEY’RE NOT ANSWERING!” He screamed.

I looked up towards the wall. I didn’t see any figures peering over.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SOUND?!” He added.

….. is that…. rhetorical? Why is he…. whatever…

“LISTEN, WE’RE TOO CLOSE TO WORRY ABOUT DRAWING THEM, IT’S TOO LATE TO GO QUIET AGAIN! JUST KEEP SCREAMING”

While Nick screamed another distress call, I heard a sound of emergence to my right as Kanata darted quickly past me like a torpedo. I hastened my sprint whatever last little bit I could, the lactic acid in my muscles boiling to fumes.

Surely unrelated to that boost though, the gap between Nick and I suddenly was getting close enough that we didn’t have to scream to each other. Kanata ran next to Nick, barely just in front of me now.

“Are you slowing down?” I asked.

“I need to talk to you.”

Need to talk? Here? Now?! Is that a fucking joke?!

“Nick, what? No, not right now-we don’t have plate-room for talking.”

He was going to respond with something else, but paused for a second as if he suddenly was considering something.

“Where is the flashlight?!”

“I threw it.”

“Huh?”

“I threw the flashlight.”

He reeled his head around, as his bewildered eye contact basically said that he wanted to try the Kanata maneuver on me.

“You through the flashlight? That must be what you said, right?”

“I threw the flashlight. I wasn’t truncating. I threw it. Out of my hand. So, I guess I was through with the flashlight, yes.”

——————

“WHY?!”

“I needed to. It was part of my plan.”

“What kind of dumbass plan would support you doing that?!”

“I don’t think it’s important right now. Just focus on running.”

“No, this…”

Excuse me?

“No? What are you talki-“

“-listen.”

——————

“I can’t do it,” He said.

“Yes you can, you’re already doing it. It’s right there, look.”

“No, I…… I’m gonna drop Lizzie.”

“WHAT?!”

“I keep feeling the intrusive thought to just toss her away. It keeps sounding more sensible.”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!-IGNORE IT, DUDE!”

“I can’t. What if…. What if she wakes up?”

“WHAT IF?! SHE’S GONNA WAKE UP! THEY’LL HELP HER, THEY HAVE TO! IT’S PROBABLY EXHAUSTION OR SOMETHING I DON’T FUCKING KNOW BUT SHE’S GONNA FUCKING WAKE UP!-“

“-Okay but…. when she does, what if she-“

I looked at her body in his arms. Her head was flopping helplessly as his elbow supported her neck instead of her skull.

“-Goda-, GIVE HER TO ME!”

I don’t know how I ended up being the “reasonable” voice of this outing. Being the most reasonable person in a group of random people does not mean that you’re reasonable, but I was getting tired of thinking.

“KANATA!” I yelled.

Kanata slowed back to my side. I tried to ignore the awkward tension I currently had with a dog, and held the pole outwards in her direction. She jumped mid-spring to grab it in her teeth.

“Thanks.”

I moved as close to Nick as I could. It was awkward while running. Could I even hold her? As I began taking her weight from him, I immediately remembered that I most definitely could not. I didn’t fall forward like Nick on the escalator, but Lizzie’s weight was like a fast-acting potion of top heaviness, as my already shattered equilibrium became essentially roadkill. I would’ve fallen in about ten seconds, but it quickly became clear that I would not need to run for that long.

“Alright, we have to-“

I turned to see Nick and Kanata had stopped running.

——————

I cradled Elizabeth’s head like a baby.

How had I not noticed? Yeah, time was moving fast, but I was having a fucking conversation with another human being. That should have steadied it. Nick was distracted, but I shouldn’t have had to rely on him to notice. I stopped right in front of the wall that was actually a door. A door which was very much not open. We were out of time. I turned around.

“Shit.”

Kanata hesitated awkwardly, placed the pole on the ground, then sprinted away. She fled into the forest of furniture in a different direction as I watched her disappear in distress. Chasing after her was pointless. Even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to catch her. Nick was shaking.

“What do we-…. W-… why aren’t they opening?” He croaked.

Why weren’t they opening? What the hell was going on? When I was here, Elijah had cut it close, but they had still opened it for me…

Me.

Goddammit Goddammit Goddammit. How could I not have thought about that? It’s because of me. I was outlawed, they said just as much. If my face was seen by one of the people who surveyed the gate, there was no way it would be opened. It’s my fault for being here. Nick and Lizzie won’t be let in because…………………..… but did they even see me? Nick was the one who was screaming. Did they even know I was here? Maybe from my screams to Nick, but neither of our screams had been louder than that noise those things had-……….

You think you have the right to tell me to calm down?! I thought we had a rule of quantity! How many are out there Elijah?! A HUNDRED?!

——————

I looked past Nick to the far distance of the hallway. Where the light just barely stopped reaching, there was a flood. I looked back to him.

“There’s too many. They won’t open for us because it’s not worth it.”

His face seemed to empty of even a single drop of blood.

“They….. just won’t?”

I didn’t know what to say to him. I don’t think I had ever broken that kind of news to someone before, a totally desolate absence of any form of hope for them.

For us.

For Elizabeth.

——————

That can’t happen. Meters was a good measurement for how far away they were, I wouldn’t have time for a very long speech. I looked up towards the wall and screamed.

“SHE’S HERE! LIZZIE’S OUT HERE, ALIVE! JUST TAKE HER! JUST THE TINIEST LITTLE SLIT IN THE DOOR TO PUSH HER IN!”

——————

“JESUS CHRIST IT’S A CHILD! WHO CARES HOW MANY THERE ARE?! SLEEP IN YOUR BED KNOWING WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TO HER!“

Yards.

It felt so stupid. I felt like I was being as useful yelling at a wall as I had been screaming to a non-existent security camera when I had first arrived. Nothing I said meant anything. Not really. If my words were powerless to destroy the horrors behind me, they were just as powerless to reason with the people that had lived under the guise of that horror for years. I remembered Elijah’s words as I had accused him of killing me.

Shut up dude, you don’t think I know that?

They all know. That’s not the decider. The caliber of how horrible it seems on paper is not what determines whether or not they can sleep at night. When you’ve seen so much that it’s hard to keep track, as long as you’re physically capable, you’ll find a way to sleep. If your body still works, you’ll find a way to move past it. Like an autopilot. Like walking without having to tell your legs to move.

“I DON’T WANT-…..”

My voice was too hoarse and dry to scream. Another second that lasted for months.

Feet.

I don’t want her to die with me.

——————

The sensation of a ginormous scraping riveted the bottom half of my body. The first thing I’d felt in my legs in about an hour.

Just as I turned around to see the pale palm just inches away from my face, a hand gripped my shoulder and pulled me backwards, their giant body then forcefully plowing into the center of the Staff’s torso. My eyes darted over to Nick, who had his back against the wall as it began to crawl outwards.

The two person tag-team threw themselves between him and his closest attacker. As each of them cut off one of its arms, it plowed into the wall floppily. Nick screamed, barely avoiding contact with its body. The girl spun on the ball of her foot and planted her fire-axe swiftly into the back of its head before it slid down to the floor. Nick stumbled onto his hands and knees, crawling behind them.

I looked back forward, seeing the giant man gracefully decapitate two of them at once. He looked back at me.

“Hand her to Amelia!”

“Who?!”

“THE WOMAN INSIDE! GO!”

He turned back around and almost threw himself towards the crowd that was quickly forming around. There was only more and more flooding out as far back as I could see.

I spun around and looked towards the opening of the massive door. I was about to run as Nick barreled past me, almost taking out my legs. He scrambled around the side more like a spider than a human as I heard a woman shriek from behind it. I followed him as I saw a short woman looking around with exasperation all over her face.

“Hey!” I startled her.

She looked towards me, then towards Lizzie in my arms, as her eyes almost comically inflated.

“Oh heavens…. Elizabeth…”

They began to water as her lips quivered.

“Give her here, quickly.”

I did as much, trying to drop Lizzie in her arms and not on the floor. I inhaled sharply as her weight disappeared from me. She said nothing more to me as she stroked Lizzie’s hair, turned, and ran like hell away from the door.

——————

I stood there, motionless for a moment. It was over. Elizabeth was safe. I did it. My mind instantly began to relax. I couldn’t really believe it. The image of the woman sprinting away with her almost didn’t seem real: The crowd from the alley inside forming and pushing her back like a wave, with all of their tired expressions stammering as they witnessed the body of Elizabeth. I tried to discern their faces, as I began stepping inside. I hadn’t even realized I was doing it until I took the first step. The door was open. I could walk in. I didn’t have to die. I could be okay.

As soon as my left foot made the second step, a hand shoved against my collarbone and forced me back outside. I looked up to meet eyes with Sean as I stumbled backwards in slow motion. The look in his eyes was pure venom. I fell backwards onto the ground as he ran past me, yelling towards the other three.

“GET BACK IN HERE! THIS ISN’T WORTH IT FOR A FUCKING SECOND! WE’RE JUST GONNA END UP OVERRUN!”

I began trying to pull myself up, as I saw another two figures coming out of the doorway: Elijah’s “buddy”, and Elijah.

“WE HAVE TO THIN IT! NO CHANCE WE HOLD THIS OFF AT THE BOTTLENECK!” I heard the giant man scream back to Sean.

“I DON’T SEE ANY END TO THIS, ROMAN! THIS IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG!” The woman of the dynamic duo cried out.

Elijah’s buddy ran to the far end, as Elijah ran up to me. We made eye contact, but he said nothing, and darted right past me. I flipped myself over on the ground to get on my hands and knees. With Lizzie safe, my motivation was gone. Moving had so quickly become something indescribably unimaginable. I craned my neck upwards. A morphing blizzard was swarming around the six of them.

They weren’t too tame of a storm themselves, but they were almost flooding in the triple-digits.

“YOU KNOW WHAT COMES FIRST!” The man of the tag team spoke up. “SO IF WE WANT TO SEE TOMORROW MORNING, WE BETTER GO NOW! IT’S ONLY GONNA GET MORE AND MORE UNMANAGEABLE FROM HERE! WHAT ARE WE DOING?!”

“THE GIRL IS IN, LET’S JUST-“ Elijah’s girl began to say, but stopped.

They continued silently for a moment, as if all of them knew exactly what she had said, despite her never actually saying it. I looked around to each one as they fought a horde of nightmares to distract them from having a conversation that I didn’t really understand like they did.

“NO, SHE’S RIGHT, WE HAVE TO PUSH BACK!” Elijah eventually said in response to what felt like nothing.

Elijah.

He didn’t turn around, but I felt like the back of his head was looking towards me. I know that sounds so fucking stupid, but it had felt like he almost said that to me more than the group.

“EASIER SAID THAN DONE, HOW DO WE KEEP THEM OFF OF US?!” The Iron Giant said (What was his name? Roman? Dumb. Let’s just call him (RA) Guts (RA) for now, Huh? It’d be fun).

“I MEAN, IF YOU THINK WE NEED A DISTRACTION, WE’VE GOT SOME PERFECT BAIT RIGHT OVER THERE!” Who do you think said that shit?

I was going to say something in response to him, but I couldn’t think of anything that was justified to argue. Maybe I was too dazed to be clever, but it felt more like I didn’t deserve to have any kind of ground in an argument. I couldn’t really hold a resentment to any of them right now, even Sean. They had helped me save Elizabeth. No matter what, I was in their debt for that. To the point where I felt….. I should try my best to repay that debt while I still can. That was the last step, right? I made it this far, but I had to finish it out. I had to protect the place that would protect her. I looked to my side. The pole was still on the ground next to me.

My body was shutting down. Adrenaline was doing nothing but making me anxious now. It felt as hard to reach my feet with the pole as it had been to scale the shaft down there. Still, I stood.

“Okay,” I said aloud on my feet. “Tell me the best way to do it.”

“HUH?! DO WHAT?” Guts said.

“How to be bait…”

Nobody said anything in response.

“I-…… I GUESS-“ Guts started to say.

“No,” Elijah spoke as I looked towards him. “We need him first.”

He barely turned his head to speak to me.

“You can stand, you can move, you can fight. Fight for as long as you can.”

I stood helpless for a moment. I had realized when I stood, that I could’ve just turned around and thrown myself into the open door, but I didn’t want to at all.

“I don’t know how to kill them!” I said.

“Well then you probably won’t be fighting for very long. Just do anything you can.”

A pile was building up around them, as the new ones began climbing up and over their fallen. It was like the beaches of Normandy. Hm, that may be problematic.

I looked for a small opening, and jumped over the pile past Elijah, and began smacking the pole loudly against the ground.

——————

It was weird, I didn’t feel like I was sending myself to my death. Maybe I just wasn’t really thinking about it. I think I was too tired for that. Too tired to be scared. I just did what I thought was natural, as if there was no consequences. The only natural thing was to just…

“I CAN HELP WHOEVER’S NEXT IN LINE!”

A volley of five immediately changed course and sprinted towards me.

“HEY!” Elijah called to me. “YOU’RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO-“

Just as one was about to reach me, Kanata emerged and dove from the cover of the furniture, just in time to trip the Staff member closest to me. The largest time dilation yet occurred as Kanata and I made eye contact again. The body was falling forward slowly towards my feet as I looked down to its head, the back of which was now facing upwards to me.

I remembered feeling one of them fall directly onto me in the warehouse. Their skin was rough, but as I had seen from Abel, just as malleable as a human’s. No, more malleable.

Alright, Kanata. I’ll try.

Its face planted hard into the ground, and in what felt like the same spaghettified millisecond from which the smack emitted up to my ears, I raised the pole upwards. I grasped its very edge in both hands, and swiftly plunged the opposite edge into the back of the thing’s skull. I quickly realized that there was no possible way there could be a skull in that head, as the pole shot straight through and bashed forcefully against the ground, sending a vitriolic burning sensation through both of my arms. I’m not sure what happened inside of the mass of its head in response to what I had just done, but I can tell you what didn’t happen: It didn’t stand back up.

It didn’t move a fucking muscle. There was no muscle. There was no bone. Only gray.

I, “killed” it? Was it actually dead, or as close to actually dead as one of these things can be? If it wasn’t immediately dragging me down with it, it was close enough. I wasn’t about to check its fucking pulse.

“Can you do that again?” I asked her, knowing the answer.

She did it again.

I did it again, slightly softer to not destroy my arms any more. I’m not sure how it happened, but we just kept doing it until the five were dead. More had started popping out around me, attracted by the sound of the pole hitting the floor through the heads of their coworkers.

“WAIT, THIS IS PERFECT!” I heard Guts scream.

I briefly looked over to see that my small hand in compartmentalism had graced the ability for the six to gain each the tiniest amount of ground from their positions.

“IF WE KEEP GOING LIKE THIS, WE’LL HAVE A WINDOW!” He yelled.

“SHOULDN’T WE STOP YELLING?!” I, of course, yelled to them.

He gave me a quick quizzical look.

“IT DOESN’T… WORK LIKE THAT! JUST GO OFF!”

Go off? I looked at Kanata.

“Can we go off?”

“RUFF!”

“Fucking cool.”

Kanata tripped another runner as it stumbled down into my fold, and I swiftly brought the pole through its head.

“AND I THINK THAT ONE WAS ONLY ONE WEEK AWAY FROM RETIREMENT!”

Haha! (Earned)

I saw Guts roll his eyes.

“ALRIGHT, LET’S MOVE! WE’LL ALL CALL IT WHEN WE HAVE ENOUGH DISTANCE! RIGHT TO LEFT!” He commanded.

My surroundings became just like the passion of a war zone as I fell into a blur of chaos. Kanata was like an electron as she orbited around me. The Staff began to surface from behind me as much as they did from the main road. Kanata had to start tripping some of them twice because she was tripping them faster than I could kill them, giving them time to scramble upwards. I was doing my best to hopscotch around, hoping the ones below me already had a hole in their head. I literally didn’t have the time to look and backtrack if they didn’t.

“I THINK I’M GOOD!” I heard Elijah’s buddy yell from the far right.

My arms were numb. I could begin to feel the impact of the ground in my shoulders, as I was losing the ability to not smash the pole into the floor. The lingering exhaustion was finally visualized. I could see a ticking sixty second stopwatch in my mind’s eye, as I felt the TV static slowly spreading from one body part to the next.

“SAME HERE!” I heard the duet’s feminine scream.

I heard a startled whimper that shot me in my haunted stomach. I lurched around to Kanata as she met eyes with me.

“RUFF RUFF!”

“What is it?!” I said before seeing what it was.

I saw that her focus was more on avoiding the arms of the ones on the ground than tripping the ones that were still on their feet. The bodies were beginning to do a lot of the tripping themselves, but that was only making Kanata’s job exponentially harder with the more time that passed. I saw a drop of blood fly from one of her legs as she hopped. Had she… been cut on something?

I was trying really hard here, but I was struggling to move at all. The contesting of the floor space around me was the smallerissue when compared to that.

“I’M OUT FAR, SHOULD BE GOOD!” The male counterpart of the duo yelled.

When turning around, I felt a particularly heavy swing in my vision. I was plastered. Hearing that whimper again had done something to me. A line of anger shot through the newest stratum of motor-skill decay.

“Kanata! Go!”

She continued jumping gracefully without looking at her path as she met eyes with me again.

“Now! Inside-just go!”

She growled loudly in response before chewing me out.

“RUFF!”

She pivoted hard to trip one that wasn’t even the closest, as to extend a formal “Hell no” to that demand.

Don’t you want to leave me? After what I did? You did it, you helped me save Elizabeth. It’s over, why are you still here?

“I’M FUCKING GOOD-CAN WE GO?!” Sean yelled.

I reached my halfway mark to collapse as I stumbled. That was the warning shot to the blackout that I felt creeping further down the edges of my vision.

“UHHHHH…… FUCK IT, I’M GOOD!” Said guts. “ELIJAH?!”

“NO, NOT YET! I’M GOOD, BUT GIVE IT TEN SECONDS, AND THEN WE GO!”

“WHY?!-“ Sean questioned.

“-JUST FUCKING HOLD IT, SEAN!” Elijah shot back.

The fighting continued for the beginning of that ten second timer, as mine had reached the twenty second mark. I was too incredibly distracted to notice that everybody was strangely silent for a while as I continued to struggle without noticing.

“Cody!”

Huh? Did one of them say my name? My head is too cloudy to even-

“CODY!”

———————

I shot back to see Elijah looking at me. He was crying.

Why…

I looked quickly towards the entrance to see how far away it had become, before a head fell face first onto my leg and I reeled back.

Why are you speaking to me like I’m still here?

“I… uh………… yeah!”

I finished off the monster in front of me.

“I’m good!” I said as Elijah’s timer hit zero.

“ALRIGHT! RIGHT TO LEFT! MARGO, NOW!” Guts yelled.

I saw Elijah’s S.O. dashing backwards from her position, as the second girl shot behind with her other half following. The first girl shot around the corner of the wall as she went immediately to one of the holds on the inside.

I think it’s finally over. No more fighting. I can almost let go. But first…

I turned around to see Kanata already looking back at me helplessly, as if asking me what to do. I had already told her before when she didn’t want to listen.

“Go. Protect her.”

We both hesitated for the final century long moment of uncertainty as she stared at me sadly.

“Please…”

——————

Kanata gave. I heard a final small yipping leave her as she barreled past me, brushing the side of my leg in the process.

Good dog. Thank you.

I paused to watch her jump to safety inside the opening of the gate.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!” Sean yelled as she clipped in front of him before he followed her inside.

I smiled. I really smiled.

My pie chart was on its last little sliver. I was just waiting for the stopwatch to sound. The familiar colossus of scraping had begun as the door began to close. I turned away. I couldn’t bare seeing it lock me out as the ending. Not only because of how much of a stab in the chest kind of note it would be to go out on, but because I was scared I would run to it. Flail my body around and beg to be let in with them. As I was absolutely sure I’d be pushed out again, that would be a much more embarrassing note to go out on.

I do take comfort in the idea that it didn’t actually matter. Death is death, who cares where or who you are in the moment of it? Personally, I don’t think someone who’s been a courageous warrior all of their life is suddenly not that just because they crumple at the gate of something as humanly unfathomable as death. Not to say I’m calling myself a courageous warrior, but you get it. It’s only an emotional response. It doesn’t make you a coward. In fact, I think it’s a perfect two-way street. As someone who’s been a coward their whole life, I don’t believe I was brave just because I died with a brave face. I just didn’t want to die the same way that I lived.

I only planted myself here to feel better about the way I was going out. I had made enough of a mental spectacle about it to reach this point… but I think… I think I really am okay with this. What else can a human do in the claws of death besides be okay with it?

It’s whatever helps you sleep at night, right?

I think I’m ready to fall asleep.

I closed my eyes.

——————

A hand appeared on the back of my collar. A warm, human hand. I spun my head around to see Elijah balling my shirt in his fist, dragging me forcefully as I struggled to turn my body around and stay standing.

“‘Sleep in your bed knowing what’s gonna happen to her’? That’s a pretty fucked up thing to say, man.”

We stumbled over bodies haphazardly towards the door as Guts waited at the quickly shortening gap.

“What are you-“ I began to say.

“-Just shut up,” Elijah said.

“Bad idea, Elijah-“ Guts began to scold.

“-Tell me about it, close this damn door!” He replied

I tried my best to not collapse into Elijah again, but once I planted my first step with my time depleted, I experienced a shattering pain which I have no ability to replicate with words. I suddenly felt like I had never walked a day in my life as I swung downwards towards the floor.

“This fucking guy,” I heard Guts say as his hand appeared on my arm, and the two forcefully dragged me into the last tiny sliver of the opening.

The door had momentarily gripped my ankle in its teeth, like one last little finger tugging at my fast untwining string. I agreed, this was a bad idea. As I saw what looked like trillions of gray faces to my disintegrating mind, my hand lost its grip, and the pole caught the final piece of space in the doorway, just barely clattering inside. The two ripped my body inwards.

The scraping stopped, the door-bar slammed, and the muffled riot began. The two let me go as I felt backwards to the floor, staring up at the spinning figure of the black sky.

No one had been left outside. No one was screaming in despair. Everyone was safe.

——————

I had a small moment of peace where nothing was following me.

——————

That peace ended with a swelling of my own anger.

Ignoring the dilapidated state I was in, being alive at all didn’t feel right after I had expected to be closed thirty seconds ago. I felt like I needed to feel something that hadn’t come. I felt like something had been stolen from me. I felt like I didn’t want to keep experiencing myself. I didn’t want to keep experiencing this place. I didn’t want anything else to happen.

Everything kept happening.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Someone screamed.

I heard the fight begin as I had thought it was directed towards me. I could barely see the image of Kanata standing over me as it grew.

“I SAID WHAT WAS HAPPENING, I MADE MY DECISION CLEAR AS FUCKING DAY!” Someone responded.

I tried to sit up, but could only prop up on my elbows. I looked around to see that it looked the same in here as it had outside. Everything was a frenzy. I saw the woman holding Elizabeth still being hounded by the ever-growing herd of shrieking people crowding the yard. Some were looking at Elizabeth with expressions that Edvard Munch could have painted, and some were looking at me with guillotines in their eyes. However, most of them were looking at the main distraction that my eyes soon drifted over to.

Sean had Elijah pressed up against the wall, elbow to his throat.

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOUR WORD IS LAW WHENEVER IT’S FUCKING CONVENIENT!” Sean screamed in his face. “YOU CAN’T KEEP DECIDING EVERYTHING WE DO WHEN YOU SPONTANEOUSLY WANT TO BECOME A PUSSY!”

Elijah punched him in the stomach as Sean stumbled backwards.

“FUCK YOU!” Elijah spat back. “STOP ACTING SO FUCKING CAPABLE! GROW THE HELL UP!”

Sean looked up and darted at him, slamming Elijah hard against the wall again, and then throwing him to the floor. He climbed on top of him and immediately began punching him.

“HEY!” Elijah’s buddy yelled as she ran towards them.

Guts stepped in front of her and ripped Sean from Elijah.

“YOU THINK THIS IDIOT IS GONNA CHANGE ANYTHING?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!” Sean screamed at Elijah as Guts lifted him.

He threw him away, as the boy of the tag-team ran up and held him down.

“Calm down, dude!” The boy begged Sean.

“CAROLETTE!” Sean screamed at the darker girl. “IF YOU WANNA HAVE LUNCH WITH TIM AGAIN TOMORROW, YOU BETTER GET HIM THE FUCK OFF OF ME RIGHT NOW!”

I was trying to say something, even if only to Kanata, but… something was starting. I rolled over to get on my hands and knees as I felt my stomach turning. There was nothing in it to be making me feel this way, yet I felt like something was begging to shoot up.

“STOP IT, SEAN!” Guts screamed. “YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON SOMEONE AGAIN AND YOU AND ME ARE GONNA HAVE A PROBLEM!”

“AND THEN WE’LL HAVE A PROBLEM?! WE GOTTA PROBLEM RIGHT NOW BEEFCAKE! YOU HELPED HIM BRING THAT MOTHER FUCKER IN HERE! ARE YOU GONNA STAND BY THAT DECISION?!”

“LISTEN TO-…. I don’t owe you this conversation,” Roman faltered, struggling to respond with as much certainty as he wanted to.

A knife was working its way up through me. I clutched at my stomach, beginning to wake-up to the new found horror that was building inside of my body.

“Don’t talk to him, you little bitch,” Elijah said, standing up slowly from the ground. “Talk to me.”

His face was already beginning to swell.

“Tim, if he wants to fucking do something, get off and let him fucking do it,” He added.

“I… I’m not gonna do that, Elijah,” The boy (Tim?) said to him calmly. “Just leave this alone. We did what we wanted to do, we can talk about this later when we’re all more level headed. Anything else that we say tonight is only gonna make things-“

Fuck this.

“-put me back out there…” I croaked.

The six looked towards me. I shouldn’t have spoken up. It wasn’t empty, I meant what I said, but I only said it because I needed to talk. I needed to make noise. Moan, groan, whine, anything. I only made it intelligible to keep from losing myself in the haze of insanity that was clawing around inside of my organs.

“Put me back-“

Elijah spun and walked towards me. He grabbed me by the neck and forced my face up to his. He stared at me angrily for a moment.

“What the hell are you-“ I began to ask.

The rage on his face intensified suddenly, as he reeled back and punched the absolute shit out of me.

That’s…. not what I was expecting him to say.

I crumpled down to my stomach, as the floor crushed something up like glass that had been spinning around in there. I rolled onto my side as I looked up at him.

“RUFF!” Kanata snapped and growled at him.

“No, stop…. don’t touch him,” I pleaded to her as she backed away defensively to my side.

Too much was going on. The crowd just kept getting louder and louder, inside and outside. The catastrophe roaming through my innards was screaming and screaming and screaming. Elijah stared at me on the floor, then slowly began walking away. Why did he pull me in? Why am I alive? Why isn’t it over?

“Dammit…. come back here…” I growled at him.

He ignored me and kept walking towards Sean.

“Elijah! Goddammit… why are you-“

“-SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” He screamed at me.

BANG

——————

Everybody fell silent besides the Staff outside, as a gunshot rang through the air.

“GET OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY!” A harshly familiar voice shouted from the crowd.

I saw the crowd begin to distort from the inside as the body pushed through. The second it revealed even an inch of itself, I shot my eyes down to the ground. She walked until she was in the middle of the circle of chaos. I didn’t want to look at her. I didn’t want to see that face.

Those eyes.

She stayed silent for a long time as she paced around with the gun in her hand.

——————

“How, Elijah?” She spoke. “How did you manage to create what I’m looking at right now?”

I was going to look at Elijah, but Kanata’s nose appeared in my face. I met eyes with her to see that she was sidestepping nervously in front of me, ramping up more and more. She was watching my face, getting progressively more anxious with what she saw.

“………… it sounds like you’re forgetting that we created this,” Elijah said to The Girl.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Sean said. “Did you take something from the vault recently, because you’re acting like a psychopath.”

I heard a whimper rising in Kanata’s throat.

Elijah turned and began walking towards Sean before Guts stepped in front of him.

“Stop, dude,” He said to Elijah.

“Get off of me, Roman,” Elijah said calmly.

“Not if I think you’re gonna do something crazy. I’ll take care of him, how about you go to-“

Elijah pushed him away.

“-I said get the FUCK OFF OF ME!”

“ELIJAH!” The Girl yelled. “This isn’t convincing me! Now you can either walk away, or help me carry him up to the deck, because I’ll tell you right now, he’s not staying. If his presence is making you act like this, the sooner he’s fucking gone, the better.”

It didn’t take a genius to know who she was talking about.

“Goddammit why aren’t you even trying?!” Elijah said. “Can’t you be a little patient?-“

“-I don’t wanna play a fucking game of chess, Elijah. We don’t need this-”

“-Need?! Why are you talking like there’s a right answer to everything, we need something. Maybe you think you know what it is, but I’m just trying to have some fucking humanity-“

“-if you try to guilt trip me one more goddamn time over this-“

There was a madness swirling around in the air as the two of them yelled back and forth. I had thought I had known the topic of the conversation, but their words were making less and less sense to me. The sound of them became blurry as my disorientation suddenly skyrocketed. I just couldn’t pass out. I was trying so hard to do it, but the thing in my stomach was forcing my brain lucid. I couldn’t hear the two talking anymore, but for some reason, I was sure I had heard someone interject into their conversation. The voice was so distorted and warped. It must have been my crippled perception that was making it that way, but… something was wrong with that voice. It didn’t feel like it was in the same place as me. It didn’t feel like it was in the same-

——————

Ow.

——————

The pain catapulted through my throat. I became centered to the world again, as I heaved and vomited up a puddle of blood. I could hear the argument stop around me. I coughed violently as the viscous drops spilled from my lips. My throat caught fire as a second column of cinders shot through. The puddle muddied with a darker liquid that overflowed from me. Breathing became a fiery searing in my windpipe as it felt like the entirety of my insides was suddenly made of open wounds. I rolled onto my back with exhaustion.

“RUFF RUFF RUFF!” Kanata was bounding frantically at my side.

Another wave surfaced as my mouth became filled with the same burning ichor.

“Shit shit shit,” I heard Elijah say as he ran towards me. “He’s gonna fucking choke.”

I felt his arms around me as he forced me back up to my hands and knees and smacked my back. I coughed harder than I had ever coughed in my life. It was such a deep and painful cough that I was scared I would crack another rib. I created a moaning noise that I wasn’t in control of. I struggled for dragging minutes as everybody just sat and watched me. I heaved emptily again and again, feeling like I still had an ocean of poison thrashing around in my belly. I breathed heavily as the stabbing nausea continued to lacerate.

“…… that’s…… that’s what you saved?” Sean spoke up. “That’s what this is all for? Look at him! He’s practically dead already! What good is he doing us?!”

What good am I…. what?

“Where’s Sandra?” Elijah asked. “Let’s get him to the-“

“-for what?” She said. “We’re not wasting anything on him, Elijah. This is ridiculous.”

“Would you look at him please?! He’s suffering!”

I made the mistake. I looked up at her. She wasn’t looking at Elijah. I met eyes with her like a deer in the headlights. I felt the same way looking into her eyes as I had in Abel’s grasp.

Breathless. Helpless.

She spoke like the razor blades in my stomach.

“I would rather throw him off the observation deck right now than spend even a second of our time saving his life.”

——————

I was done. I didn’t know why I was a side in this argument, but I didn’t want to be. I wanted her to get her way. I couldn’t handle being here any longer. I would throw myself off if I could manage it. I wanted it to stop.

“This…… this is a mistake,” Elijah mumbled.

Shut up. Just shut the fuck up.

I tried to speak, but I could only make that same sound I had made before. My voice had died off.

“Is there something wrong with your memory?” She prodded at him. “Do you think I’m just doing this for my ego? Why are you being so safe after everything that’s happened? If somehow you’ve brought yourself to actually believe that it’s over, I fucking applaud you, but I can’t. Even if I someday can, I won’t-“

“-aren’t you tired of that? I’m tired of thinking I’m constantly at war every day that I wake up-there’s nothing wrong with my memory I just don’t want to think about it every single fucking second that I’m alive-it’s hard enough as it is-“

“-Are you telling me something I don’t already know?! Is there anything else here you don’t like?! I don’t have a choice of whether or not I want to think about it every second of every day. I have a goddamn obligation, and I hate to give you the wake up call, but so do you. And that isn’t going to stop because you’re tired, it isn’t going to stop because it’s been such a long time, and it certainly isn’t going to stop because of this sniveling little blonde haired piece of fucking-

“-IF YOU EVER LET THAT GODDAMN GUN GO OFF IN HERE AGAIN, LET ALONE AT 3:30 IN THE MORNING…”

Another voice pushed its way through the crowd.

“Shit,” Guts said.

Hearing someone as big as him sound apprehensive didn’t bode well. The crowd dispersed as a familiar face pushed through.

——————

Robert.

“And Jesus Christ, how many gathering crowds does it take to screw in a goddamn light bulb? Do any of you know how to react to something quietly? Every single……”

He paused as he took in half of the scene they were reacting to. His face went sour. I’m not sure if it was because of The Girlhaving her gun out, or the ruckus of the monsters at the door, or the dog that was suddenly standing in the courtyard, or Elijah’s swollen face, or all of the blood in front of the two of us, or how much like hell I looked, or the fact that I was here at all, or a culmination of all of those things, but it was all enough that he didn’t even think to look elsewhere…

“What in the God forsaken shit-“ he began.

“-Robert,” She began. “Why don’t you go back to bed, and I’ll talk to you about this incident in the morning.”

“Back to bed? You think I’ll just drift back into slumber after hearing the rapture of Hell outside my window? It’s been a while since I’ve heard the bustling-city at night but you really know how to do a good impression. No, I’m wide awake, thank you for that. I’m free to talk right now.”

She stared at him silently.

“…… are you?!” He demanded after she had gone thirty seconds without breaking. “You don’t seem to have a whole lot to say…”

She didn’t speak. Instead, I saw her gaze drift softly to the frail body. Robert shoved up a confused eyebrow, seeming to back off in confusion, before hesitantly following her line of sight.

——————

I never liked my father, and I believe that goes both ways. I could say that he is a cold, unfeeling and stubborn man, but I don’t think that’s particularly true. I just don’t think that he liked to show emotion around his children. Positive or negative. I only saw him cry one single time in my life. I had always wished to see that kind of reflexive release from him, because I felt like I couldn’t believe that he was half the reason for my being with such a stonewall existence. Someone who helped create life couldn’t be as lifeless as him. I needed that to be validated. I had dreamed of it, fantasized about it for so many years.

I saw it for the first time when I was thirteen.

It had changed my mind. I remember wishing to not know that he was a real person. I wished I had died before learning that.

——————

Robert’s voice began to make a quivering sound that felt so incredibly uncomfortable to hear. His body shook. It felt like even The Staff began to quiet down as his whimpering filled the entire infinity. Cold, tense, lonely. He moved as if he had boulders shackled to his legs, struggling to inch himself towards the woman holding Elizabeth.

She saw his approach, and initially began to back away nervously.

“Gg-g…… give….” He mumbled.

She stopped moving, but wore a face of fear.

“Robert…” The Girl began as she walked up to him. “Everything’s okay.”

She put her hand on his shoulder calmly.

He shot his head back around to her with the most horrifically angered expression I have ever seen on another living human’s face, and suddenly backhanded her directly on the cheek. The awful clap of skin put an end to the horrific whimper that had been hanging in the air.

Guts tried running up to the two of them, before The Girl put her hand out to stop him. He reluctantly hung back, looking desperate to do or say something. She looked over and shook her head at him, before looking back at Robert. She breathed deep, and calmly took a few steps back, letting Robert see her standing down.

“You….. you were wrong…..” He said coldly.

He spun back around and walked up to the woman menacingly. She screeched as he forcefully ripped Lizzie out of her arms and crumpled down to the floor with her. He put his forehead on hers. He sat there motionless for what felt like five minutes as everyone sat there silently. It looked like he was trying to decipher if it was real or not. Once he did, he stood up with Lizzie in his arms and turned back around to The Girl.

“YOU WERE FUCKING WRONG!”

——————

“I know,” She responded calmly with a blank face. “And I’m glad I was……… I’m sorry, Robert.”

Robert wanted to scream again, but after a couple seconds, broke down into sopping tears, sinking back down to the ground. He wailed with her body in his arms, ravaged by his recognition of his own emotions. They were back together again. The impossible.

I accidentally groaned as another wave threatened itself in my stomach. Robert looked up at me as I went into another violent coughing fit, struggling to not let my trachea rip itself out through my mouth. I slowly met eyes with him as it somewhat passed.

“Did…… did you do this?” He asked me.

I was preparing an aggressive answer, as my impression marked that question as the blame for her condition. She was unconscious, thinning, and covered in blood. I didn’t want to argue with him. If attacking this man at his most fragile meant my ticket to peace, I was going to do it as rudely and arrogantly as I could.

“Heiiii….ck ck”

I tried to speak, and quickly remembered that wasn’t possible anymore. My attempt at words almost immediately became a vicious hacking. I was verbally restrained. I couldn’t make a monster of myself like I so flawlessly had my first time here. Though, I think I had done enough back then that my reputation would do most of the work here, right?

“Yes…” Elijah said.

I looked to him in angry confusion. What the fuck was he doing?

“He brought her back………. Cody saved Elizabeth…”

I wanted to punch him. I wanted to throw up blood in his face. I wanted to-

“Oh God…….. thank you…” Came Robert’s tripping voice.

I looked back to him, as the tears streamed down his face. The same face that had glared at me with such unbridled hatred before.

“Thank you so much……”

He put his forehead back to hers and continued to cry.

——————

I…

I don’t know what that “thank you” just did to me… it’s something I haven’t really felt before… what is that? Why am I so confused by it?

I looked back to Elijah. He was wearing a smile so slaphappy it would scare Pennywise, looking at The Girl. It was… a devious smile.

Devious isn’t a good word, malignant is better.

I looked over to her as she was walking angrily towards me. The last thing I heard was her thunderous cursing of “God fucking dammit”, before the toe of her boot smashed directly into my forehead. After what felt like it had been a century to the skip of a leap-year, I was finally given over to blackness.

Beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful blackness.

Don’t wake me up again.

(Part seven coming soon!)

Part Six 2/2

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