We all have some kind of secret. Maybe we hide behind a mask. That mask becomes our whole world. It’s we’ll ever know. Deep in your mind, you don’t even think of any change. Because that view of the world will only be seen through that mask.

Others will view you in a certain way. Whatever role you force yourself into was how others perceive you. Wearing such a mask can be exhaustive. The others would just talk to your mask. As if they couldn’t see the real you. Wouldn’t the fear of removing that mask overcome the need to be the real you?

But what if what we really desire requires us to break out of that mask? Sometimes we can’t just get out of it. All we know was our lifestyle. The possibility of something different didn’t cross our minds. So all you can do is keep that mask up.

“So it’s been a while, David,” Phoebe said with a smile.

“Yeah, it has.”

I remembered the calming silence of the church. It felt nostalgic. It had been a month since I last been here. The church was empty with only a handful of people praying near the front benches. The lights were dimmed, making the altar hard to see.

Phoebe sat beside me on the last bench near the entrance. She wore her nun outfit as usual. Covering everything except her face.

I then explain to Phoebe how my classes started. She just nodded in silence.

“I see, it must be tough then.”

“Not really, it’s just the beginning of the semester after all.”

I remembered to ask the question. I looked at Phoebe in the eye with curiosity. She was a bit surprised by the question but then went into deep thought.

“What makes us human?” Phoebe echoed my question. “I’m going to say faith.”

“Faith?” I asked.

“Yeah. Without God, we wouldn’t be here in the first place. So we place our faith in him. And among others too.”

“Hm…”

“Are you dissatisfied with my answer?”

“No, it was what I expected.”

Faith among others. That was lacking in many others. It was what starts conflict between people. You can’t always believe in your people. Sometimes they can turn on you. You can’t trust everyone. But then you lose your faith in others.

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“Do you have something else in mind?” Phoebe asked.

“I think faith is fragile.”

“Why do you say that?”

I didn’t want to say I didn’t believe in a god. Even though I have an idea that there might be one. So I direct the conversation to the latter part of her statement.

“Because it’s easy to betray. Too much faith in someone can backfire. The more you believe in someone, the more it’ll just hurt.”

“I see.”

Phoebe looked down. I hope I wasn’t a downer. Or maybe something was on her mind.

“Is something the matter?” I asked.

“Oh.” Phoebe covered her mouth. “I was just thinking of someone.”

“Who?”

“Just someone I know.”

I didn’t know if my eyes deceived me, but there was a slight smile on her face.

“Hm?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Phoebe chuckled.

She was acting a little weird. It’s only been a month and yet she had a strange behavior.

I moved on to another topic.

“What’s it like being a nun?”

“Oh, I love it. I get to meet wonderful people like you. Prayer is a big part of my life. I always help others with that. Being a nun doesn’t mean I’m not a normal person. I watch television and read novels just like any other person. There are other things I love to do. I get to go out to fundraisers and seminars-”

Phoebe rambled on. I just sat there and listened carefully. She seemed to love the way her life is right now. Her enthusiasm seemed to rise since the last time we met. I wondered what happened.

After a long talk with Phoebe, I went on my way back home. It was a nice talk in a quiet church to reset my stress from going to school. I needed this reset. Especially if they bother me when I go home.

“David!”

A devilish voice speaks out as I arrive at my apartment floor. There was no way she was excited to see me again. Unless she wanted something in return.

“How’s it going?” I pretended to care.

“I’m doing great.”

“What do you want then?” I went straight to the point.

“You’re no fun.” Lucy dropped her facade. “I just wanted you to feel important for once.”

“Yeah sure. What is it?”

“You want to go get ice cream?”

“My treat I assume.”

“Yeah!”

“Did Raphie refuse to buy you ice cream?”

“Uh…”

Her expression gave it away.

“Let’s go.” I turned around and started walking down the stairs. Lucy literally jumped down the stairs in excitement.

“Don’t do that!” I screamed.

Lucy just acted like a kiss ass. Usually, she acted like a spoiled brat. Sometimes we wear a mask to get what we want. Sometimes our desires lure us to break that mask. Whatever it is, wearing a mask was sometimes all we had.