I neglected myself again. I really screwed up this time. I must be really stupid to just die like this. Damn, I’m really stupid.
Starvation. What a stupid way to die. Especially since I could have just fed myself. It is fine to be lazy but sometimes you have to know your limits. Oh I don’t feel like doing anything today. Oh I will just do it some other time. Well, I am trying to care. Laziness is just an easy excuse. A pathetic excuse.
So what now? Will I be transported to a parallel world? Maybe I’ll be given some strong weapon or an ability with some unbelievable strength. Or maybe it might be reincarnation? I hope I’ll be born with some useful talent or something. Then I’ll grow up smart and strong then I’ll live a fulfilling life. Then again, my laziness would probably hold me back. Maybe I’ve been reading too many stories online…
“Oh hello there.” A voice called out to me. I try to talk back, but I could not respond. There’s no physical body for me to use a voice with but I try to force myself to speak.
‘Am I dead?’ One thought reaches out. Can you hear me?
“That is why you are here. Just a soul drifting towards the afterlife.”
I don’t believe it… I was wondering if reincarnation was real.
Wow. That was a pathetic thought.
“What is that you are feeling? Regret? Do you wish to live once more?”
And go back to my crappy life? If you even call that living. I don’t have any intentions of choosing that life over anything else. But compared to what? If there was a choice between many worlds, maybe none of them would be the right one. I never got the chance to see what was on the ‘other side’. Although I do enjoy my calm and relaxing days. Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all…
“Then, were you satisfied with your life?”
Not really… Although it’s not like I didn’t enjoy my peaceful days. Even though I could’ve done more. There’s nothing to regret if there’s nothing done at all.
Do I regret doing nothing? Maybe.
“Good enough then. Come with me, it is time to go.”
Hey hey hey. Wait a second. I’ve been accepted already? Aren’t we going a little too fast here? I also don’t know much about you. Now that I’m dead, I think I deserve to ask a few questions myself.
“What else is there to know? Whatever, just follow me.”
I wonder where we are going. Is there really an afterlife?
“Of course. Are you worried? Would you prefer to go to Heaven?”
You asked earlier as if I was satisfied with my life. I may not be a saint neither did I do too bad in life. But to ask me if I want to go to Heaven? Aren’t you supposed to judge me? It’s not what I want, is it? If it was my opinion, why not? But what I know is that I don’t deserve to go to Heaven. So you know what?
“I refuse”
To my surprise, a sound came through. Those words echoed in this abyss I’ve been drifting in.
I lived my life with no care for the world. You ask if I want to go to Heaven. But is it really what everyone wants? It’s like everyone fear Hell so badly that it just scares everyone to go running to you. But why should I be the judge? I should have got to know you better.
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“Wow. I only asked you a simple question, you did not have to be a jerk about it.”
Huh, What was that? For a moment, that divine sounding voice became clearer. An irritated voice started speaking instead.
“Wait a minute! If you’re not God then..”
“Ugh, I’m tired of listening to you. It’s time to take you back.”
This void world started to fade. This cold empty feeling lingered. My body keeps shivering. The pain in my stomach continues to sting. It became stronger than before now that I’m conscious.
I opened my eyes. My body was sitting upright on the floor across the room from where I passed out. In front of me was my computer chair that fell over. And behind me is my bed with a person on top of it. It looks like I was dragged across the room. Was that a dream?
“It took you long enough to wake up.”
That person was talking in the same manner from the voice earlier. It was more feminine and more human sounding. Maybe it was the same person.
“What are you doing here?” I tried to speak, but my voice was really low. I have to move as little as possible because of my stomach.
“Oh, you’re still recovering, go get me some ice cream.”
“What?” I responded.
“Ice cream. I’d like vanilla, please.”
I don’t have ice cream, I barely have anything in my fridge. Ugh… why would a stranger demand ice cream from me?
“Oh, ice cream helps with the pain.” The stranger looked down at me from my bed.
“Wait a minute, you can read my mind?”
“No stupid, you have that stupid look on your face.”
…
She’s not wrong, I am stupid enough to starve myself. If starving to death was possible. Is it?
I stood up to get a better look at the girl. She was fairly small. She had an oversized white shirt. She’s lying down on my bed with a book over her face.
“So that wasn’t a dream…”
“Yup.”
“I really died…”
“Yup.”
“Anyways thanks for helping out, I guess.”
I sit down on the ground again while the girl got up and walks towards the bookshelf to get a new book.
My brain couldn’t keep up. It still felt like a dream. I sat there for a whole hour. The only thing on my mind was the sound of pages turning and a cool breeze that was blowing in through the window. Damn it… I’m really stupid.
I don’t even know her name…
I’m not what you call sociable. It’s easy for me to forget to properly greet someone.
“Who are you?” I said softly.
The stranger turned around from the bookshelf and gave a confused look. After a second she had a smirk on her face and with pride, she said, “Oh, I’m Lucy.”
“Uh, hello. I’m David.”
Well, that’s a start. Lucy was just some girl who wandered into my room. Saved me from dying from the other side and is currently going through my stuff.
“Excuse me for sounding rude, but what are you?”
“A fallen angel.”
“Lucy, a fallen angel. Got it.”
A pause.
“A what?”
“Huh?”
She tilts her head reflecting my confused look. I don’t really see anything obvious here. Am I missing something?
“Uh… I really don’t understand what you are trying to imply…”
“You don’t? I’m pretty well known.”
“Er… I really don’t know.”
“I’m Lucifer, or what you people commonly know me as satan or the devil.
Jeez, I thought it was obvious.”
…
Wow, I have the devil in my room. This doesn’t make me feel excited or scared. Then again, I don’t think this girl matches anyone’s expectation of a devil. Was I supposed to have some sort of reaction from myself?
“You don’t look surprised for someone who met the devil.” Lucy said curiously.
“And you don’t look like a devil or an angel.”
“Pop culture expectations, deal with it.”
“And you do look pretty young for someone who’s lived for a pretty long time.”
“Yeah, Humans age way too fast.” She said with a smile. Was she smiling with pride? Or maybe she enjoys making fun of us.
“How old are you exactly?”
“Ha, foolish little human, your kind can never understand the concept of time that is known as eternity.”
“So how long ago?”
She looked right at me and arrogantly said, “My point exactly.”
There’s no use to asking these pointless questions…
I finished interrogating the little devil. All I got were short uninteresting answers. It’s like none of the questions let alone my existence really mattered in this situation.
Lucy continued to scan through the books to find what to read next. I pick up my chair and sat in front of my computer. For the next five hours, I continue to browse on my computer while Lucy went through my bookshelf. There was this unspoken agreement that she would stay for while. Well, it’s not like I have a choice.
I should go fix the lack of food in this apartment. And there’s also another mouth to feed. Do fallen angels need food?