Chapter LXXV – Hope Dies Last

The deafening silence in Sophie’s room that followed Yeona’s story caused her to break a cold sweat. She hoped that her reaction would be a bit more expressive, regardless if it was anger. However, Sophie tried her best to hold back, but by doing so she made Yeona feel even worse. Not only did she lie to her, but she also openly admitted to knowing beforehand that Arthur would attempt suicide, and by telling her it shattered all hope Sophie had of it being an accident.

“I’m truly sorry. . .” Yeona mustered the courage to speak up, breaking the silence.

“I want to be alone,” Sophie whispered.

“Soph. . .” Yeona took a step closer but Sophie’s cold gaze stopped her in her tracks.

“Yeona, I need to think. Please, just leave.”

While she didn’t raise her tone, it still felt penetrating as Yeona could feel the emotions buried behind her monotonous voice. Letting out a sigh, Yeona knew there was nothing left for her to do other than respect Sophie’s decision as no amount of begging would’ve changed the outcome.

Closing the door behind her, she leaned against the wall barely able to stand as her knees trembled. Frustration and anxiety took hold of her as she knew she lost a friend. She didn’t know what to think while staring at the stairs that led to the living room. The last thing she wanted was to rejoin after such a scene.

Yeona hesitated for as long as she could but sadly ended up overhearing Sophie crying in the room. Each time she heard sobbing she felt pain in her chest, reminded of how she cried after Arthur the day he first spoke of suicide. Unable to do anything about it, Yeona took her first step toward the stairs.

She was aware that her chances of getting back with Arthur were nonexistent at that point, but deep down she still didn’t wish to give up. If it’s the current Arthur, she knew he’d never be with someone who could make his younger sister cry like that. Regardless, she made her way down.

“Huh?” Yeona looked around in confusion as everyone kept acting as if things were fine. While she could feel the awkwardness, her focus was on finding Arthur and Irene who were missing. “Where’s Arthur?”

Everyone kept quiet, hesitant to answer her question. Even though she was exhausted from her talk with Sophie, she quickly concluded that Arthur and Irene had left the house. She guessed that they went to the beach and thus took a step closer to the door but was cut off by Tjay who now occupied it.

“Get out of the way. . .” she mumbled after approaching him.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go after them right now. . .” Tjay said nonthreateningly.

“Yeona, let’s talk. . .” Ari slowly approached while looking down to her feet.

“Move. . .” Yeona gritted her teeth, not willing to let him stop her.

She completely ignored Ari who wanted to help, leaving Tjay hesitant to let her go until Max approached him.

“Let her. . .” Max mumbled, resting his hand on Tjay’s shoulder and glancing toward Iseul.

It was as if Max was looking for Iseul’s affirmation that he wasn’t making a mistake by telling Tjay to step aside. Iseul gave him a nod after which Max tapped Tjay on the shoulder, getting him to move away from the door. It allowed Yeona to rush out of the house in a flash while the awkwardness in the house became unbearable.

Finding herself on the beach, Yeona looked for any footprints in the sand that might lead her to the two, but it turned out to be unnecessary as she saw them coming into view. From a distance, she could tell that they were walking side by side. Impulsively, Yeona started approaching closer with disregard for how it looked. However, the closer she got the clearer it became that Irene and Arthur were holding hands which shattered Yeona’s spirit.

Once they were within talking distance, Yeona looked to the ground in defeat. They didn’t have to tell her. She knew just by looking that the decision had been made. Yeona noticed Irene trying her best not to show her happiness out of respect.

“Y-” Arthur wanted to say something, but Irene cut him off by tugging on his arm gently.

“You two have a lot to talk about. . .” Irene said, letting go of Arthur’s hand. “I’ll head inside.”

Yeona didn’t dare look up at Irene, afraid of showing just how vulnerable she felt. Once she was gone, it was only the two of them left at the beach.

“You knew. . .” Yeona whimpered, forming a fist and looking Arthur dead in the eye. “You knew everything that happened between us, but you never even gave me a chance.”

Arthur let out a sigh.

“Yeona, I-”

“It’s not fair! I loved you. . .” she looked down to the ground, tears running down her cheeks. “Are you punishing me because I failed to save you?”

Arthur was shocked to hear her say that. He knew the feeling of loss, so he could imagine what she went through.

“Yeona I would never blame you for what happened,” he approached.

“Liar!” she yelled out, throwing a tantrum by raising her fists and swinging down to her sides.

“Yeona, I keep trying to tell you this, but I’m not the same person you once knew,” he let out another sigh, unsure of what the right thing to say was. “However, be it me or the former, we’d never blame you for what had happened. I can guarantee that much. . .”

Arthur knew that telling his secret to her might’ve made the situation easier, but still preferred keeping it hidden if possible.

“This is ridiculous and cruel. . .” she looked up at Arthur. “To finally be able to see you again after you tried to take your own life, only to be stuck watching you get further away from me. . . What sort of a universal joke is that?”

Arthur recognized the look in her eyes, one that cursed fate.

“I’m truly sorry for what happened between us before the accident. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain I’ve inflicted upon you.”

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“But then why aren’t you even giving me a chance. . .”

“Because my heart belongs to another. . .”

“Why. . .” she collapsed into his arms, pained by the truth. “Why is it that the words I’ve been dying to hear for so long weren’t aimed at me? It’s unfair. . .”

She finally burst into tears, unable to get a hold of herself. They stood there for a few minutes as Arthur wrapped his hands around her, attempting to soothe her at least a little. She managed to break away from the hug while keeping herself close. Her eyes filled to the brim with tears helplessly looked into his. That’s when she knew.

“He’s truly gone. . .” Yeona stood frozen.

She kept looking into Arthur’s eyes and for the first time, they truly felt different in every way. She wanted to at least kiss him goodbye, but the man she loved wasn’t there.

“He is. . .” he whispered.

Tears once more flowed like an uncontrollable stream down her cheeks, but Yeona kept quiet, allowing for it all to sink in.

“I know. . .” she said with a brittle voice. “When I look into your eyes, it feels as if an entirely different soul is looking at me,” her explanation was surprising to hear. “I could feel it before too, but I guess I just couldn’t accept it. . . You don’t even look like him anymore.”

“I’m sorry. . .”

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault,” she said, breaking away entirely from him. She took the moment to take a few steps toward the sea before sitting down on the sand. “I lost everything, huh?” she finally let out a frustrated chuckle.

Arthur approached, sitting down next to her. Yeona was clearly experiencing grief, but at the same time didn’t have the strength to keep on pushing. Forced to accept reality, she just kept looking to the horizon.

“Why do you say that?” he looked forward as the moonlight reflected off the water’s surface.

“I lost the man I loved, and now I lost my new friends as well. Don’t even get me started on how guilty I feel about doing all that to Sophie,” she sighed.

“You’re wrong,” Arthur interrupted her. “While you lost the old me, you still haven’t lost any of your friends.”

“Sophie will never talk to me again,” she said confidently.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” he smiled knowing how forgiving Sophie can be. “Give her time and she’ll come around.”

“I hope you’re right. . .”

“Just trust me. . .”

Yeona let out another sigh. “Good luck.”

“Hmm?”

“What? Did you really think you’d get away with lying to her?”

“Shit, you’re right. . . I’ve been caught up in all this that I completely forgot she was gonna kill me once I get back. Maybe it’s time I learn to live off of the land around me. I could fish, maybe there’s some food in the woods. . .” He got Yeona to laugh for the first time which consequentially made him smile. “There you go, smiling once again.”

“Idiot. . .” she mumbled before shedding tears again, but this time with a feeble smile.

“It’s fine to cry you know. However, you should make sure to smile just as much.”

“I still can’t believe how different you are,” she finally looked at him. “I’m sorry. . .”

“Why are you apologizing to me?”

“I kept yelling how unfair it was, but truthfully, it was me who was being unfair. You too have the right to choose, regardless of what happened in the past.”

“Thank you. . .” he said, unable to express how truly thankful he was to hear those words from her.

Before his reincarnation, his wishes were never respected and his choices were assumed to be predetermined.

“I also owe Irene an apology. . .” she looked back to the sea, not explaining why. “I wish you two luck, but promise me you’ll treat her well.”

“Thank you for your blessing, but you make it sound as if we’ll never see each other again,” he said worriedly, unable to shake a feeling that she might do something reckless.

“Don’t worry. . . You’ll see me again one day if Sophie ever forgives me. Besides, I have my feelings to sort out and I guess Irene also needs to be okay with me seeing you.”

“I keep telling you that you’re overthinking things. Sophie will come around and Irene never held anything against you in the first place. You should talk to her if you want, I’m sure she’ll want to sit down if you let her.”

“Once we’re back if it’s not too much trouble, could you give me a few minutes to talk to her in your room?”

“Of course,” he smiled. “Besides, I still have to face Sophie. . .”

“Thank you. . .” she looked down. “It feels weird.”

“What does?”

“Talking to you like this. It reminds me of how we sat at the construction site and talked for hours. However, it feels different now. I can’t put my finger on it.”

“You know. . . Just because he’s no longer with you doesn’t mean that it never had meaning. At the end of the day, it’s all we have after all is said and done, the memories that we made. . .” Arthur kept referring to his old self as if he was a separate entity and Yeona didn’t seem to mind. In fact, it seemed as if she appreciated the idea of disconnecting the current Arthur from the old. “That’s just life. Now we could sit here all day and cry about how cruel the world is or we could learn from it and move on.”

“Easier said than done. . .”

“True, but that’s just another part of living, isn’t it?”

“I miss him. . .” Yeona said for the first time. “He might’ve been far from perfect, but he was someone who was deeply misunderstood.”

“You’re young, beautiful, and most of all brave. . . Any man on the planet should be happy to have you Yeona. One day you’ll find someone who’ll walk by your side and you’ll be happy. Just don’t give up hope.”

“Hope dies last, huh?” she let out a sigh before showing him a smile. “Thanks. . .”

“You’re welcome,” he smiled back.

Yeona, I could never say this to you, but fate has a weird way of doing things. It might not be in this life, but maybe you shall meet him again in the next one.

“We should get going. It’s getting pretty late.”

“Yeah. . .”

The two got up and made their way back. Reentering the house, Arthur saw that everyone had cleared out apart from the boys who were in the middle of setting up their beds to go to sleep. It was impossible for them to go unnoticed, but Yeona’s gaze never met them as she kept looking to the ground. Arthur gestured them to leave anything they had to say for tomorrow as he could tell Tjay was keen on speaking up. Considering the way they looked at her, Arthur assumed they were aware of what happened.

Proceeding upstairs, they both looked to Sophie’s room, letting out a simultaneous sigh which made them chuckle.

“Good luck. . .” Yeona whispered.

“I’ll need it,” he scratched his head, nervously smiling.

“I should get changed before I go to Irene. Would you mind telling her that I wanna talk?”

“Sure, I’ll let her know, so come by when you’re ready.”

“Thanks. . .” she said before they parted ways.

Entering his room, Arthur saw Irene laying on the bed, impatiently waiting for him to return.

“It’s over,” he sat down on the edge of the bed, letting out a sigh of relief.

“How is she?”

“She’ll be alright. She’s strong.”

“She is. . .” she whispered, letting silence take over for a bit.

“She wanted to talk to you by the way, so I told her to swing by once she’s ready. She went to change so she’ll be here soon.”

“Alright,” Irene sat behind him, wrapping her arms around his chest before planting her lips on his exposed neck. “What’s wrong?” she whispered into his ear. “I know that look. . .”

“I have to talk to Sophie and I’m feeling kind of nervous,” he let out a sigh, glancing at her over his shoulder.

Her lips were so close to his that he could feel their warmth, yet they didn’t kiss.

“Well, it was nice while it lasted,” she teased him before giving him a peck on the lips. “I’ll miss you.”

“Oi, oi. . . I’m not gonna die.”

“You sure?” she chuckled after which they sat in silence for a bit, staring into each other’s eyes.

“I hate lying to her,” Arthur whispered. “Part of me wants to tell her everything, but the rest is terrified that I might end up losing her.”

“One day you’ll tell her and then that iron stake that is piercing your heart will be removed,” she whispered back to him, leaning her forehead against his. “Give it time.”

“I don’t have the courage,” he closed his eyes. “I’m not brave enough to tell her now nor do I think I ever will.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself,” Irene smirked, closing her eyes as well. “You never know what might happen in the future.”

“True,” he exhaled slowly through his nose. “Irene.”

“Yeah?” her whispering voice sounded angelically soothing.

“If there ever comes a time where telling my secret to anyone is the right thing to do, don’t hesitate to do so. I trust your judgment, even if it’s Sophie you have to tell.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, but you really should be the one to tell her.”

“I know. . .”

Arthur could feel Irene’s grip tighten around him. She leaned into another kiss, both gentle and sweet, but was soon interrupted by an expected knock on the door. With Yeona ready to talk, Arthur left the two on their own before proceeding to Sophie’s room. He anxiously stood in front of her door, unsure of what to expect. Exhaling deeply, he formed a fist and knocked with his knuckles against the wooden door.

Chapter End.

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