Chapter LXVI – That One Time I Remember
While sitting on the bed holding a black box Arthur tried resisting a tremendous headache that nearly paralyzed him. Gritting his teeth and squinting his eyes, he fought back the memory that had been haunting him for the past few days. When Yeona snuck into his room and found the black box, her attempt at hiding it back was an utter failure. He noticed right away that the boxes were moved around and the loose compartment wasn’t even properly sealed. Part of him wished he never found the box since it was the cause of all his recent troubles. Yesterday, when Arthur told Irene that he was confused and couldn’t put it into words, he wasn’t lying.
Arthur knew that whatever was inside would be a clue related to the original host. When he opened it, he found lovely handwritten letters that didn’t match Arthur’s handwriting when compared to the diary he read upon reincarnating. The letters addressed him and considering that next to them were drawings with a style closely resembling Yeona’s, based on what he remembered, it was safe to assume she was behind them. The notes were full of Arthur’s quotes that she expressed changed her life, but the bigger secret was that they all hinted at her unyielding affection for him. Few of the drawings were of the night sky from atop the construction site where the two met and the rest were sketches that commonly depicted him doing random things such as browsing his phone on the bed. The only oddity among them was a drawing that had writing on it which read ‘Finally’. It was easy to figure out what it was referring to as it had Arthur smiling for the first time.
While the letters and drawings depicted his past, they weren’t what had triggered Arthur’s memory. Inside the box was a medallion that Arthur surprisingly didn’t sense before while meditating in the room. It was surprising because it had Qi flowing through it, albeit a faint amount. Arthur wasn’t sure about the meaning of the tree engraved in silver but in his old world, it symbolized union and a new beginning.
The Qi within the medallion was a result of a powerful emotion that surfaced and imbued itself into it. Touching it for the first time resonated with Arthur’s Qi and triggered a memory of Yeona curled up against the wall on top of his bed, sobbing helplessly. Her faint whispers haunted him as she begged for him to stop.
“Please don’t do it. . .” Arthur could vividly see her in the room now vastly different. “Don’t leave me as well. . .”
While he remembered nothing else, it was clear to him that she wanted him not to attempt suicide. It wasn’t exactly a secret between the two that she was aware of his intentions.
Had Arthur told anyone about the memories they would surely understand his troubles, but that wasn’t the real reason he was stressing over it. His biggest concern, one that he couldn’t share with anyone, was why he was the one remembering it. If memories of a past he never lived through could awaken, then what awaited him in the future remained cloudy.
Letting out a sigh Arthur got up and stretched his arms back. The only way to clear his mind and stop the memory from bearing down on him was to take a cold shower and prepare for his meetup with Irene. They planned to teach him how to ride a bike and afterward go shopping. The idea of having something new to learn that would occupy his mind was a welcoming thought.
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Arthur was running a few minutes late, but since he was coming to pick her up he didn’t stress over it. Knocking on the door, Arthur was greeted by Amelia who already dressed up for a day out in the city.
“Hey,” Arthur waved to her.
“Come on in,” she winked at him before moving to the side. “She’s still getting ready. . .”
“Did she just wake up?”
“I tried. . . Nothing worked.”
They chuckled knowing that Irene had a hard time waking up, especially if there was no school that day.
“I can hear you!” she yelled from the living room.
“Take your time!” he yelled back before turning to Amelia. “You coming with us?”
“Nah, I got shopping to do before the trip.”
“We’re going afterward as well. You sure you don’t wanna tag along?”
“And get scourged by the sun? No thank you, but thanks for the invite,” she smiled.
Arthur walked past her before the two made their way into the living room. He could see Irene running around the house looking for something. She had her hair tied into a high ponytail, something she commonly did during PE. Her outfit on the other hand was different than usual, wearing a vanilla-colored sports bra, loose shorts, and a pair of white running shoes.
“Need help?” Arthur offered.
“Nah, I have a feeling I’ll find it soon. . .” Irene stood still as she pinched her chin while glancing around the room.
“What are you even looking for?”
“My keys. . . I gave her my spare that I typically use.”
“On that note, I’m leaving you two lovebirds alone,” she teased but neither reacted as they were used to it. “I’ll leave the door unlocked.”
“Don’t forget to buy something for dinner,” Irene reminded her.
“I won’t,” she said while making her way toward the door.
“Have fun,” Arthur waved goodbye before his focus shifted back to Irene.
Now that the two were alone, her search continued.
“How was your morning?” she asked as she searched around the kitchen.
“It was alright I guess,” he answered while wandering around the living room slowly, keeping an eye out for her keys.
“Did something happen?” she looked at him surprised but also worried since he seemed troubled.
“Nothing new,” he refrained from explaining. “Here, catch.”
He threw her the keys.
“Where did you-” she looked at him baffled as she spent the last hour looking.
“It was on the table. . . Under your book.”
“I swear I looked!” she let out a defeated sigh as her keys were in such a plain spot.
“We tend to struggle to find things when we’re in a rush.”
“Sure, let’s go with that. . .” she shook her head before approaching him. “Shall we get going then?”
“Not until you give me a smile,” he said, catching her off guard. Irene couldn’t resist chuckling before finally showing a smile. “There you go. Much better.”
“Dork. . .” she gently grabbed his wrist and dragged him outside coyly smiling the entire time.
The two eventually found their way to the riverside where they could rent bikes. After picking their wheels, they went to a more secluded area. She insisted that they pick up hybrid bikes as they were easy to pedal while being comfortable and versatile as mountain bikes.
“Ready for your lesson?” she asked him while stationing her bike on the grass near the bike trail.
There was a lot of empty flat space where they could ride around that wasn’t grass or the trail itself, making it the perfect spot to start learning.
“Always,” he smiled while awkwardly holding onto the bike from the side.
“Keep in mind this is my first time teaching someone. . . Still, I ask you to trust me.”
“I’m not worried. Just have fun with it and we’ll figure it out. Worst case scenario I fall a few times, but so what?” Arthur chuckled.
A major advantage that Arthur had was the fact that he wasn’t afraid of falling. Even if it was dangerous, he could always utilize Qi to save himself. However, he genuinely trusted Irene.
She took the time to explain everything she believed was important. At first, she talked about pedaling and breaks as well as balancing. It wasn’t difficult to comprehend the mechanics behind it and since it was an inanimate object rather than a living creature such as a horse, Arthur knew he didn’t have much to worry about. It would all come down to his skill and perseverance.
“Just remember to stay relaxed. It’s harder to balance a slower-moving bike than it is when you build up speed. I’ll first show you how it’s done and then we’ll get you used to mounting and dismounting the bike.”
She threw her leg over the middle bar while standing on her toes, successfully mounting the bike. Arthur watched her as she pulled the pedal backward that her foot rested on, setting it to the front. Pushing down on the pedal gave her enough momentum to place her other foot on the bike as she moved forward. After a few meters, she turned around and began to circle Arthur.
“That’s pretty much it,” she said while riding. “You just keep pedaling while maintaining balance. To turn at higher speeds you need to slightly lean into it. However, at lower speeds, you can slightly turn the handlebar controlling the front wheel.”
“What happens if you’re stationary? Is there a way to maintain balance?”
“There is. . .” she slowed down significantly before holding down on both brakes. Irene refrained from dismounting as she stood up and turned the front wheel left and right trying to find balance. “I don’t often. . . Do it. . . But you just need to find the right position and use your body to balance.” She finally stepped off the pedals and rested her feet on the ground. “However, the easiest way is just to step on the ground. Especially if there’s no room to wiggle your wheel like that. We’ll worry about it later since we need to get you moving first. As I said, riding slowly is much harder.”
“So, when do I start?” he smiled, excited to give it a go.
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She dismounted the bike before leaving it to the side.
“Eagerness, I like it,” she chuckled before stepping next to him. “Firstly, we need to adjust the seat to fit you. Ideally, you want to be just on the tip of your toes when you mount the bike so that when you pedal it doesn’t strain your knees. However, it’s typically better for beginners to have their seat lowered at first so that they can stand flat-footed, giving them room to feel safer.”
“If you’re okay with it, I’d like to adjust it appropriately. I’ll be fine even without being flat-footed.”
“Why did I already expect you to say that?” she chuckled again before nodding approvingly. After adjusting the seat she looked back at him. “Alright, just hold the handlebar and try imitating me. Throw your leg over and rest your foot on the pedal.”
Without any issues, Arthur did as instructed and found it surprisingly comfortable too.
“Alright, now adjust the pedal to stand in the front by pushing back on it so that when you wish to go forward you can just pedal down right away.” She approached closer before gripping the handlebar and the backside of the saddle. “Don’t worry about me, I’m just here to support you so you don’t fall.”
“Thanks,” he said smilingly before setting the pedal to the front position. “So now I just pedal forward and try maintaining balance?”
“Yeah. However, we’ll go slowly as I walk next to you to help you balance. It’ll be wobbly at first, but don’t panic and just keep trying.”
“Okay. Ready?” he asked waiting for her to nod.
After her signal, Arthur pushed down on the pedal and began moving forward. She expected him to struggle to mount the other leg or to immediately hit the breaks, but was shocked to find him instantaneously managing to set himself straight and balance accordingly. Within a few seconds he managed to build up speed that left her confident to let go of the handlebar and the saddle as she observed in awe.
Realizing he was alone, Arthur took a deep breath. Riding the bike felt natural, almost as if he had done it all before. He turned the bike around and returned to Irene, circling her as she did him. Effortlessly, he stopped the bike and stepped forward on his toes.
“I’m amazed. . . I’ve never heard of someone knowing how to ride a bike right away,” she was excitedly shocked but for some reason Arthur’s expression showed deeper confusion. “You okay?”
“Huh? Yeah. . .” he snapped out of it briefly, but he didn’t appear any happier.
“Are you disappointed that you succeeded?” she asked confusedly, but then realized that maybe a joke would cheer him up. “Sorry, but it’s to be expected when you have a teacher such as myself. Nothing is ever a challenge anymore.”
Arthur chuckled before looking into her eyes.
“It’s almost as if I remember doing this in the past.”
“Well. . . That wouldn’t be the strangest thing in the world. They say that once you learn how to ride a bike you never actually forget. That’s probably why.”
“But I have no recollection of riding a bike.”
“Maybe, but your body remembers. Our ability to remember things vividly isn’t the only form of memory that we have. Your amnesia might’ve just erased your awareness of what happened to you, but not the muscle memory. For example, you didn’t forget how to speak Korean, right?”
“Right. . .” he sighed. “Well, I was looking forward to your lessons. Still, I guess this is alright.”
“Aww. . .” she approached him before nudging his sides. “I’ll just find something else to teach you if you’re that keen on it. However, now we can ride around without worry. I’ll still keep an eye on you just to make sure you’re safe.”
“Alright. Sounds like a plan,” he said, resetting the pedal to the front. “Do you want to lead the way?”
She nodded before mounting her bike.
The two began their ride along the Han River, following the trail. While the breeze felt refreshing and riding the bike reminded him of horseback, Arthur was still left puzzled.
After twenty minutes of riding, Irene pulled up next to him. “Let’s stop here for a moment,” she said before slowing down and riding toward a nearby empty bench.
Arthur was confused as to why they suddenly stopped, but assumed that maybe she was just starting to get tired because they walked on their way there.
“You okay?” he asked while dismounting the bike.
“No, I’m not,” she let out a sigh before sitting down on the bench.
“What’s wrong?” Arthur looked at her worriedly before sitting down next to her.
She turned to him and grabbed his hand. “Art, I’m not blind. I can tell that something’s seriously bothering you. I was hoping that this would avert your attention from your troubles at least a little but it seems it made things even worse. . .”
“Yeah. . .” he averted his gaze, knowing that he couldn’t deny it. “I hoped so as well.”
“I know you said you can’t put it into words, but I want you to try. I’ll make sure to give it my all and not misunderstand. So. . .” she let out a sigh before glancing at the hand she held. “Art. . . I know the world doesn’t revolve around me, but I got to ask. . . Did I do something to upset you?”
“What?” he hastily looked toward her, stunned by her assumption.
“If I said something or did something, please tell me. Maybe I’ve hogged you a bit too much and you’re feeling uncomfortable telling me that you want to see each other less?”
“Hey! Stop that,” he said, gripping her hand. “My confusion has nothing to do with that. Please don’t assume such things. It’s just complicated, that’s all. Also, I love spending time with you.”
“That’s a relief,” she let out a sigh before looking him in the eyes. “But if that’s not it, then would you mind telling me the truth? I want to help you or at least listen to what you have to say. If you keep it locked up inside, it’ll just eat away at you. I’m fine if you can’t tell me, but then tell it to someone else. I’m sure the boys or Sophie would be glad to listen.”
If anyone knew how true her words were, it was him. His secret and now his troubles were slowly devouring him. While he could handle one, he struggled to keep the other in check.
“I’ll tell you. . .” he mumbled.
“I. . . I didn’t hear you,” she leaned in closer.
“I’ll tell you,” he took a deep breath before swallowing what little saliva built up. “Though, please just hear me out. I don’t want you misunderstanding what I’ve said.”
“I promise,” she said while gently holding onto his hand.
Something about her words made him believe her.
“As you know I have no memories before the accident,” he watched as she intently listened without interrupting him. “Well, that was true until recently. I ended up finding a box that had letters and a few drawings inside along with a silver medallion. It belonged to the old me and the one who wrote those letters and drew everything was Yeona.” Arthur saw Irene’s eyes show the slightest hint of surprise. “It triggered a memory where she was in my room crying, begging me not to go through with my suicide attempt.”
“Are you saying she knew you before the accident?” she finally spoke up, unable to hold back from asking questions.
“Yeah and I already knew that.”
“You did?” she was even more surprised by that. “I thought you two met only recently.”
“This was a secret we decided to keep since I thought I’d never see her again after that, but we initially met during the school trip where she confessed to knowing me before and liking me. However, I explained that I had no interest in her and that I wasn’t the same.”
“But how did Sophie not know, weren’t they friends?”
“About that. . . It appears that I knew her from before she met Sophie. The two never met before that and only became friends later down the line. She admitted that part of the reason she became friends with Sophie was to get closer to me since I’m her older brother, but somewhere along the way she truly befriended her and was afraid that if the truth was out, she’d lose Sophie. Not thinking much on it, I agreed to keep our meeting a secret. I didn’t remember her anyway and she knew that.”
“Do you believe her?”
“About her being true friends with Sophie? Yeah. . . She seemed genuine.”
“So the guy she liked and never disclosed was you. . .” Irene looked as if she already suspected it. “I noticed the way she looked at you, but I never assumed you knew her before. Do you think you guys were more than just friends?”
“I’m not sure, but if we were then I don’t remember any of it. I only remember her crying on the bed.”
“Did you ask her?”
“I didn’t and I don’t know if I will. I’m truly not interested in being in a relationship with her, even if she was with me before the accident. The me before the accident and I are not the same. I want to live based on the choices I make, not the choices I’ve made. However, between that memory and now the ability to ride a bike, I’m worried about what else might resurface.”
“Wouldn’t that be a good thing? I mean, you’d remember everything you forgot,” she spoke quietly.
“As I said, I want to be the person I am now and live based on the choices I make moving forward. However, these memories. . . What if they change who I am, or should I say make me who I don’t want to be? What if I remember feelings that I had for Yeona and what if it messes with my head. . . I’m confused and afraid. I’ve never had something like this happen to me before.”
Realizing that Arthur was beginning to panic, Irene pulled him closer before planting a kiss on his cheek. It was enough to snap him out of it before she rested her forehead on his shoulder. After pulling back, she smiled and maintained a strong eye contact.
“Listen, I don’t understand exactly how you feel since I haven’t lived through it myself, but I can imagine how scary it is not knowing what might happen. But that doesn’t mean you can’t control it. Who you are is not who you were but who you choose to be moving forward. Even now, you can change who you are by making a simple decision to change a habit. It’s that simple, yet that hard. You won’t change if you happen to remember. You’ll only change if you choose to change. That’s like saying that a grown man would be spoiled again if he remembered his spoiled childhood that he moved on from.” Arthur was left speechless. “Listen, I’ll admit that I’m not thrilled to learn that there might be history between Yeona and you, nor that she likes you. Not that this story has anything to do with me, however, you’re not stupid and I’m not afraid to admit it, but I-. . . No. . . I wanna say it properly.” She held his hand with one hand while the other touched his cheek. “Arthur, I like you. I’ve liked you since we met. Something about you draws me in and as I’ve got the chance to spend time with you I learned how caring, kind, loving, strong, smart, and fun you are. Not to mention good looking. . .” she chuckled. “I know you’re aware of this and I know that you at the very least like me back a little bit, otherwise you’d stop me from relentlessly flirting with you. I understand that your emotions are all over the place right now which is why I don’t want you to feel pressured to answer my confession. I’ve waited thus far, a little while longer won’t kill me. Take the time and sort your thoughts out.”
“Irene I-”
She could see him struggling to come up with words so her only idea was to give him a warm smile and reassure him that everything’s fine.
“Arthur, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter what happens, I don’t regret telling you this. No matter what, even if you reject me or fall in love with someone else, I won’t disappear from your life if that’s holding you back. I don’t want my overthinking to be the thing holding me back, because that’s what I’d regret. I’d regret never trying. . .”
Arthur nodded, still unsure what to say. “Irene. . . The time I’ve spent with you has been some of the most fun and loving time of my life. I know it sounds silly, but that’s really important. Obviously I like you. I’m also not afraid to admit it, but there are things that you don’t know that are holding me back. Things that I can’t tell you yet, but I’ll try as soon as I figure out how. The problem is, while I’m not interested in Yeona, what if something I remember changes that?”
“I won’t stop you from talking to her and I won’t dislike her even if you learn that there was something between you two before. If you happen to choose her, I’ll accept it and move on. Just focus on doing whatever you want and live the life you won’t regret. I want you to be happy and if I didn’t then I couldn’t say that I truly liked you in the first place. . . If you want, I could give you some space to think about things. . .”
“That’s the last thing I want. . .” he gripped her hand tighter which made her chuckle.
“Good, cuz I’d hate of us not spending the summer together. . .” her chuckle turned into a quiet laugh as she bit her bottom lip.
“Same. . .” he finally smiled again.
The two sat quietly for a bit before Irene finally spoke up again. “Then how about we return these bikes and go shopping?”
“Race you back?” he challenged her.
“Now you’re just being cocky,” she chuckled, accepting his challenge.
They got up and started to make their way to the bikes, but Arthur suddenly grabbed her wrist before pulling her closer.
“Irene. . .” he whispered before planting a kiss on her forehead. “I promise that I’ll tell you everything soon. I won’t let my fear of losing you hold me back.”
She was surprised, but instead of pulling back, she embraced him into a tight hug. “Good, cuz I’m not as patient as I’d like to say, so don’t make me wait forever. . . Besides, you won’t lose me. I promise.”
Arthur simply nodded before pressing his cheek against her head that was buried into his chest.
The two eventually raced back resulting in Irene’s victory as she was a better rider. Afterward, the two went to the nearest mall and Arthur felt as if a huge boulder was lifted off his shoulders while he got to enjoy watching Irene change from one alluring swimsuit to another. She kept teasing him about it and once he admitted to having a credit card, she couldn’t resist but get him to shop for some new clothes. He accepted as he needed them anyway after having outgrown his old ones due to training. She even bought him a few under the pretense of it being a present since she found him adorable in them.
Arthur no longer stressed about his memories as he realized that she was right. All he had to do was focus on himself. However, he finally made the decision to tell her the truth about everything after he figured out how to make it sound less crazy. Even if he was afraid, he took inspiration from her and wished not to regret staying quiet. Now that she openly confessed, he knew he couldn’t wait forever as her patience would run out so he decided that the trip to the beach house was the perfect time and place to finally let it all out.
Chapter End.
Thank you for reading.