I sprinted home to get my talent crystal. If I remembered correctly, humanoid monsters, like goblins, had a high chance of giving me a skill, and the bigger ones probably had decent skills, so this sounded like a good time to try and get one. I then sprinted back to the gate. My Endurance and regeneration wasn’t good enough to let me sprint forever, but it was enough that I was barely breathing hard after running.
The City guard had closed the gates on the palisade that surrounded the town, and Barry and Dave were talking to Martha at the top of one set of steps. The other adventurers were also there, though they all seemed really nervous. “Haven’t fought goblins before?” I asked them before climbing the stairs to meet the rest of my team.
The goblins started beating a war drum outside of town, which seemed to frighten them even more. “Sure we have. One or two at a time. Have you looked out there? There are over a hundred, and it looks like they have a few hobs with them.”
Hobgoblins were just bigger versions of goblins as far as I knew. Was there something special about them? I asked, only to have one of the adventurers yell at me. “What, are you stupid or something? Of course they are special. They are smarter and stronger than goblins, about equal to orcs. They’re a Minor ranked threat and we are only low Petty ranked. How are we supposed to beat them?”
“Outsmart them?” I asked, and one of them scowled. Before I could explain how we beat the bears Martha called for me, so I ran up the stairs to her. “Yeah?” I asked.
“They’ll attack in a few minutes. I just want to make sure you’re ready.”
“Yeah, I’ve got all of my gear. Are you guys ready?”
“As ready as I can be.” said Barry. “Seriously considering spending my DP on something useful, but then I remember how Gary used it to fix a broken bone and I figure I should keep them. If nothing else, a hundred DP to fix an average wound, or three hundred for a major one seems worth it.”
I nodded and looked at my own DP stores. I had gotten 327 from the last dungeon run, putting me at 832. Maybe after battle I could spend a thousand on something nice, assuming these goblins were from a dungeon break and I didn’t need to use points to heal.
There was a war cry and the monsters began marching. At fifty meters away, Barry and the other archers, including three of the adventurers, started firing on the enemy. At thirty Martha started throwing Fire bolts at them, so I joined in with Freeze bolts. When they made it to the wall, though, and started setting up ladders, I threw several javelins at them. One of the goblins picked up the one I threw at him and threw it back at me, with it sticking just below the top of the wall.
Out of javelins, I waited until they were almost at the top of the ladder and started stabbing at them with my spear, as did Dave. We managed to wound several of them, even making one of them fall from the ladder. I stabbed for another thirty seconds before one of the goblins grabbed my spear and pulled. I tried to pull it back, but he was stronger and I was hanging over the wall, so I fell, falling seven meters to the ground. Thankfully the only thing under me was the goblin that had fallen off of the ladder and my shield, as I landed on my back on top of him. I heard something crack, but as I wasn’t in that much pain, it probably wasn’t something in me. Hopefully I just damaged the already dead goblin beneath me.
I stood up and looked around for my spear. One of the goblins nearby had grabbed it and tried to stab me with it, so I let my anger boil over and pulled him towards me. I grabbed him by the throat and activated Freeze touch, freezing his neck solid. I then spun the spear around, ignoring the bruises on my back, and attacked the ones that still hadn’t climbed the ladder.
They started swinging their crude swords at me with surprising skill and I jumped backwards, flipping my shield off my back. I quickly slid my arm into the strap and swung at the goblin. With my greater reach I managed to keep them away until one of them flanked me. Seeing it come up behind me, I imagined its head was one of those mud balls with rocks that the kids liked to throw at me, and spun around to swing at it. There was a rush of energy flowing through me as I cut its jaw off and it fell to the ground.
Turning around I caught another goblin on my shield, then held it in front of me as I ran at the wall, crushing the goblin. When it fell off, I could tell that it wasn’t dead, so I stuck my spear into its chest before turning to face its friends.
The last of the goblins had just been clubbed to death by one of the adventurers as it got to the top of the ladder, so they opened the gate and the guards came out along with Martha. They ran up behind the goblins and soon they were all dead. Martha and I, however, ran at the Hobs. There were three of them, and I happened to draw two of them, one with a bastard sword and one with a club. They attacked simultaneously and it was only my increased strength from the rage that allowed me to withstand the two handed swings of the Hob’s small tree-club.
I kept backing up and to the side, trying to avoid being backed against the wall. One of the guards I sparred against liked to back me against the fence which surrounded the training field, so I had gotten used to it. This put me at an angle to see the edge of Martha’s sword turn red and leave a shallow cut on the chest of the hob she was fighting. The crude fabric of its shirt started to smoke, and I realized that she had somehow put her fire magic on the edge of the sword. Maybe I could do that with ice?
I first tried just freezing the spear, but when the wood started to get cold I realized that I was just doing to the wood what I had just done to that goblin’s neck, and damaging it. I would have to try something else. Thankfully I was good enough with a shield that I could probably keep blocking them until help could come or my shield broke. Hopefully the first would happen, and not the second.
Seeing that sword hob lift his weapon over his head for a massive downward swing, I flipped my shield up and punched at his stomach. Only after I heard ribs crack did I realize that the edge of my shield was glowing blue. Still, I was getting a bit of a headache, so I doubted I could do that much more.
Now that the sword guy was slowed I could try for the bigger one. I stabbed at him several times with the spear, being careful not to overextend myself, and he jumped backwards to avoid me. I added in a few swings, careful to make sure that the sword one wasn’t sneaking up on me, and kept him backing up. Right up until a glowing red blade took his head off.
I knew that Martha was there, and had backed him up to her. The one she had sliced across the chest had bled out, leaving only the sword one. I saw him standing up and charged at him, running him through with my spears. Or I would have if not for the fact that it was a boar spear and therefore designed to not pierce through targets. I let go of the spear and he collapsed to the ground.
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Seeing that the enemy was defeated, the guards started to cheer, soon followed by the adventurers and my team. Several people came over to slap me and Martha on the back and congratulate us on taking down the hobs. I didn’t know why you hit people to thank them, and the bruises from the fall made it hurt more than it should, but I gave them a thumbs up anyway.
After that I collected the stones from the goblins I killed. They were, in fact, from a dungeon, which meant that we would need to set out tomorrow morning to find it and kill as many monsters as we could. We would take the other adventurers with us. They were good enough against the normal goblins, so we should be able to use their help. I negotiated for the sword hob’s stone from Martha, giving her a goblin stone for her half of it. The hob crystal weighed about twice what the gob crystals did, so that should be fair. I just wanted the larger crystal.
The people were now coming out to loot the bodies, as they had some decent weapons, so I picked up my javelins and spear and checked the Talent I picked up. Average Swordsmanship. Interesting. Well, if I had that I would need a sword. Before someone else could pick it up, and ran over to the body of the hob and picked up its sword. It was actually of decent quality, roughly equal to what the city guard started out with. It didn’t have a scabbard, but the sword was nice enough that I could buy one later and just put it in my belt for now.
That night they threw us a party. We cooked up a boar that the adventurers had brought back today and the tavern brought out several kegs of their finest ale. Everyone in town was treating us like heroes. They were even treating the adventurers like heroes, and they only stood on the wall and attacked from safety.
After several hours everyone was drunk and several women were flirting with the ‘heroes’. Martha even had a few guys making passes at her, though she didn’t seem that interested. That’s when an older woman came over to where I was and sat down beside me. She was probably in her early forties, but I didn’t see that. All I saw were the two massive pillows on her chest. Even with too much alcohol in me I could tell that she was into me. If only my sword would stop poking the front of my pants. It took me a few seconds to realize that wasn’t, in fact, my sword, and that I had already taken my weapons home and absorbed all of the crystals, including the talent.
I gladly followed her back to her home, only noticing that it was an abnormally large log cabin before we were inside and heading towards her bedroom. The next morning I woke up and looked around. She was, indeed, more than twice my age, but I normally didn’t hold that against a woman. She also had melons the size of a child’s head. That was actually a big positive when evaluating a woman’s attractiveness.
I then got the feeling that she and this room seem familiar somehow. I knew that I had seen her somewhere, but that I hadn’t been in this room before. As I put on my clothes I thought about it. I was pretty sure I saw her at the harvest festival. Just as I finished putting on my boots, I remembered where I saw her. She was on stage sitting beside the mayor. That was because she was his wife.
I didn’t know much about women, and had never actually dated one, but I did know that most men didn’t like it when another man did the adult game with their wife. I started towards the door when I heard someone knock on the door. “Belinda? Are you in there? I need you to come talk to the town’s housewives. Apparently last night’s party wasn’t enough, and they think the men that defended us deserve some sort of monetary reward.”
She opened her eye and was about to speak when she noticed that I was still there. Her eyes opened wide and she motioned towards the window. I didn’t understand what she was saying.
“Belinda? Are you in there?” asked the mayor.
“Uh, in a minute. I need to get dressed.”
“Well, hurry up. I can’t keep them waiting for long.” He stomped off down the hall.
She sighed and got up. “I meant jump out the window.” she whispered.
“But this is the third story.” I whispered back. “And you have bushes down there.”
She quickly put on a shirt before looking out the window and verifying that. “Fine, wait until I lead everyone away and sneak into the public area.” She quickly put on the same thing she wore last night and opened the door just enough to slip out before closing it.
I waited until I heard people talking downstairs and quietly left the room. Only the first floor was meant for the public, so I needed to make my way down there. Luckily the lady’s room appeared to be at the top of one set of stairs, so I quickly went down to the second floor. The stairs down to the first floor were just under these, so I walked the three or four meters to the top of the steps when I heard one of the servants approaching. With no choice, I opened the nearest door and went inside the room. This appeared to be the mayor’s trophy room. Most of the things were just examples of various bits of fine craftsmanship, but I did notice several items glistened oddly in the sunlight. They were probably magical.
I looked at the various objects, as I had never seen many of them, until I heard the door knob turning. Apparently one of the servants needed to clean in here. As the door opened I stepped backward instinctively and bumped into a vase on a small table. I wasn’t fast enough to catch it and it crashed to the ground. The female servant stood there in surprise, staring at me.
“I know what it looks like, but I’m not a thief.” I said. “I’m actually here because...um.” what was the proper word for it? No one knew what I called “the adult game” besides my parents. Not able to think of the word, I mimed putting my finger in a hole made by my other hand.
“Are you seriously propositioning me?” That wasn’t the word I was looking for.
“No, I mean, that’s why I’m here. I...”
Someone stomped up and knocked the second door to the room open. “Okay which incompetent fool just broke...” The mayor stared at me for a few seconds in surprise. “GUARDS!” he yelled. “THIEF!”
Not wanting to get caught, I ran towards the servant and out the door she entered from. I tried to make it to the top of the stairs, but just as I got there the guards also did. I tried to run, to find the other staircase that I knew they had, but one of the guards tackled me.
A few seconds later they were dragging me down the stairs towards the front door so that they could hand me off to the sheriff. Belinda only saw me at the last moment as they drug me out the front door.
A minute later the mayor was beating on the door of the sheriff’s station. The man had been sent here by the local lord, in this case a count, to make sure that the mayor and other people of the town followed the law. “Ok, ok, I’m coming.” said the sheriff, then opened the door a few moments later to let us in. The guards drug me in and threw me on the ground in front of the sheriff’s desk.
“I caught this man in my treasure room, trying to steal from me. Obviously he wasn’t happy with the party or the rewards we were planning to give him for defending the town, and was planning on taking his reward directly from me.” So he recognized me.
“Do you have anything to say to that?” the sheriff asked me.
“I wasn’t trying to rob him. I had another, very good reason to be there, but… I can’t say what it is.” Telling the servants was one thing, as they probably already knew that she brought me home. But telling not only the sheriff, but also the guards and the mayor? That was a very bad idea.
“Really? You had a good reason to be skulking around my trophy room, breaking my vases?” asked the mayor. “Well, what is it?”
“I can’t say. It’s too embarrassing.” I wish he would just drop this and accept that I was telling the truth.
“I don’t care that you’re embarrassed. What, you spent the night with one of my servants? My butler? I always suspected that he was into men, but I never cared because he does such a good job. Well? What is it?” He grabbed the front of my shirt and somehow picked me up even though I weighed a lot more than him, even considering his plumpness.
“I’m not the one I don’t want to embarrass.” I said.
“He just told you he didn’t care about his butler.” said the sheriff. “If you are covering for him, just confess already so he can confirm your story. You’ll still owe the mayor the value of the vase, but it’s better than being indentured as a thief.”
Just then the door opened and Belinda stepped in. “I’m the one he’s protecting.” she said, the door still open behind her. “He was at the house because he woke up in my bed.”
The mayor just stared at her for a few seconds. “You mean you cheated on me?” he asked, then turned and swung at my face. “You bastard, I’ll kill you.” I was just going to let him take his anger out on me until the sheriff pulled him off of me.
“You need to stop right now. I get that the guy wronged you, but you can’t assault him for it.”
“I want this bastard arrested.” the mayor responded.
“For what? Sleeping with another man’s wife isn’t illegal, or gods know half the nobility would be in jail. I also can’t arrest your wife, because infidelity also isn’t illegal.”
The mayor stared at me. “Then for breaking my vase.”
“I think you just did more than the price of the vase in damage to his face.” Now that I thought about it, my lip and nose were losing a lot of blood right now. I hope he didn’t break anything. Apparently he hits harder than I thought. Probably because he wears a signet ring.
“Fine then.” said the Mayor. “You are banished from this town effective immediately. If you aren’t out of town in one hour, I’ll have you arrested for trespassing.”
“While you do have the authority to banish people from town,” said the sheriff, “the law says you have to give him at least twenty four hours to gather his belongings.”
“Fine. You have until eight tomorrow morning.” With that, the mayor stomped out of the office, giving his wife a nasty look as he left. His guards followed.
Belinda ran over and started cleaning the blood off of my face with her handkerchief. “I am so sorry.” she said. “I’ve caught him with other women before, so I didn’t think he would care.” I knew that was at least partially a lie, as she had tried to hide me, but I nodded.
“I need to go pack my things.” I got up and headed home.