Max floated on a sea of numbers, and more than numbers. He had no idea anymore just how much he had consumed, only that his character sheet could no longer handle to what heights he had pushed his statistics. They had gone beyond numbers and were now into the realm of letters and symbols the like of which he could not tell what they represented, only that they were far higher than the System had been designed to display. He was a veritable god, immortal, all-powerful, unstoppable.

He couldn’t stop himself though. He had to push on, to push the numbers even higher. He moved so fast that the rest of the world appeared to be frozen in place around him. No longer could any perceive him, and that was just as well, for the sheer magnetism of the level of his APPEARANCE was such that any who beheld him would have declared their undying love on the spot, if not faint from the overwhelming nature of it. Unknown to him, he could have his pick of any in the world for a harem, but such was his addiction to his stats, his alcohol and the boosts it gave him, he had long gone past the point, never to return. He had squandered it through greed and desire, which only served to prove that irony at times had a sense of humour.

On and on he went, sweeping across fields and farms and forests, collecting and brewing and quaffing and swelling with the power of it. Through the frozen world he flowed, the ULTIMATE POWER he had craved no longer enough. He needed more. More. More.

“What are you doing?”

The voice was simply spoken and quiet, yet cut through to Max as he blazed about. He slid to a halt, in the process setting off a small earthquake that levelled a minor hill, though he did not notice it.

There was a man standing nearby, meek in appearance, unassuming, no match for his ULTIMATE POWER. The fact that he could see Max, talk to him, even match his speed was in itself puzzling.

“I am obtaining what I deserve,” Max explained. “Power unmatched, immortality. A harem. The usual.”

The man sighed softly, his eyes filled with disappointment and gave a sad shake of his head. “That was not the purpose for this place. Too much has been forgotten, changed since I have been gone.”

“Not the purpose of it?” Max frowned. “Look, is this like the ending of The Absent Professor and the Enlightened Broom? It is, isn’t it?”

“I have no idea what you speak of. This has to stop though. You need to end this foolishness, now.”

“What? No. I deserve this! I will not give it up. I am a god!”

The man sighed again and his disappointed look deepened. “I did not wish it to come to this. I would have preferred you to voluntarily turn from this path, but you leave me with no choice. I shall have to strip you of this power.”

Even on the high that ULTIMATE POWER gave him, his brain addled from it, Max could not but fail to perceive that the man did not doubt he could do as he said, and a seed of doubt began to form in his mind. If the man thought he could challenge a god, and not just think but believe it, then there was a good chance that he could, and Max wanted no part of that.

He ran. Such was his speed and power that he left a canyon furrowed across the land in his wake, shattering a mountain that he crashed through rather than go over. He came to the edge of the ocean and did not stop, but ran on, sending two tsunamis out in opposite directions. And still he ran, the light around him shifting, the air burning behind him.

The man was there alongside him. He was not moving, yet kept pace, simply floating along serenely beside.

“Please stop,” he said calmly. “We need to fix this mistake and you can not outrun me.”

Max screeched to a halt as he reached another landmass, sending a tidal wave of molten rock sweeping forward, to wash the land.

“I will not let you!” he screamed. “It is mine, all mine! If I can not have it, no one can! [Troll Quake!”]

So saying, he slammed his foot down, hard.

The world shattered. White light blossomed, and all turned to dark.

YOU GAIN ERROR ERROR ERROR XP.

YOU GAIN CHEESE BISCUITS LEVELS.

ERROR ERROR.

REBOOT UNIVERSE.

ERROR.

The light cleared, slowly, and Max’s vision started to return. He found himself….nowhere.

There was nothing to see, just a dark and empty void bereft of anything.

Anything, that was, except himself. And the man. He had survived the greatest single attack that had ever been made, or would ever be made. Completely unscathed.

And he was looking rather vexed. One might even say miffed. “I do wish that you had listened to me.”

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

“What happened?”

“What happened was that you broke all of reality with your foolishness. No one was meant to have such power. There were reasons why limits were set in place when reality was established. It does appear that those limits were overwritten by those who came after. No doubt they wished to see how high those numbers could rise, and here we are, at the logical conclusion to that - the destruction of everything. My disappointment is not just with you, as much as with those who allowed this to happen. I guess that when you have children the keys to reality you should expect these things to happen.” he waved his hand. “You will wait here until I decide what to do with you. In the meantime, there are others who need a good talking to.”

********

A sheepish bunch of sub-systems and sub-sub-systems milled about in the Conference Room, after the Devisor had reformed it again. A lot of the frivolities that had once cluttered it did not return. The bean bags were sorely missed, but not half so much as the coffee machine.

They shuffle about, keeping their eyes lowered towards the ground, avoiding eye contact with anyone, most especially the Devisor. Somehow Dave found himself at the front of the group, the rest shuffling away.

Finally, when the Devisor was done, he turned to look at them. “Would someone care to explain this mess?”

No one answered.

“Well, who is in charge? What happened to George?”

“Er, he left,” Bruce volunteered, before pointing at poor Dave. “He is in charge now.”

Dave found himself under the reproachful gaze of the Devisor. “What happened?”

“Um, someone found a loophole, an exploit that led to, well, ultimate power.”

“I can see that. What is your name? I don’t know you.”

“Dave, sir. Until a few days ago all I did was slime and mold and fungi. I didn’t expect to be in charge,” he added miserably.

The Devisor looked around at the others assembled behind Dave. “Is that true?”

“Kind of, yeah.” The Devisor arched a brow. “Sir.”

“I mean no offence to you, Dave, as I am sure that you are competent in your chosen field, but this appears well outside of your level of skill and knowledge.”

“The one before me was Bob, from accounting,” Dave replied, half turning to give a glare at the other sub-systems who had dumped it all on him.

The Devisor pinched at the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Why?”

“No one else wanted the job, sir.”

“I can see why that would be. Who added all this other stuff? It was simple at the start, just elves and dwarves and humans. And catgirls. There is so much unnecessary clutter now. Who decided that a half-mermaid was a good idea? Of course it was all going to break down with a bazillion combinations of choices on hand. It looks like the whole purpose of this place has been forgotten. It wasn’t meant to be a key to immortality or ultimate power. Or harems, whatever they are.”

Dave told him.

“Really? And they actually want that?” The Devisor shook his head. “That sounds like far too much hard work to actually be any fun. Speaking of hard work, we have a lot ahead of us, don't we? And this time we are going to do it right, according to the purpose of this place.”

“What is that, sir?” Dave asked.

“It was meant to take people who were having a hard time of it and bring them here, to give them an experience, to teach them a valuable lesson that they could take back with them, to make them better people. It wasn't meant to let them indulge in powers fantasies. And there certainly weren’t meant to be trucks involved. This time, I will be keeping a much closer eye on things, but we will still need a Boss to oversee the whole System. Dave! I am sorry that this all fell on you, but you seem the most sensible of this lot. How would you like to be in charge properly, to help me get this place back up and running?”

Dave smiled broadly. He had ideas. Lots of ideas. Some even involved slime. He looked at the others and noted their troubled expressions. “I think I could manage that. And I do believe that there are some jobs that could be reassigned to start with,” he added, giving Bruce a pointed look.

The Devisor nodded. “Good. While you start with that, I have another to deal with. Someone else has a lesson that they need to learn.”

******

Max woke. He felt odd, different. Deflated. He could remember the feel of the power that had once subsumed him, the taste of it, but it seemed to have gone. After the high of it, the immortality that it had provided, he felt low. No doubt they had fixed the exploit so that he could no longer use it, but there was the other one that he hadn’t mentioned or used. Sure, it would be a little harder to pull off, but he would get there in the end, just like in Second Chance of the Loveable Rival to the Capture Target. And this time he wouldn’t let it go to his head, to let himself get noticed. Just quietly build up his power, return to immortality and collect his harem.

He yawned and scratched under his armpit - and noticed an odd thing as he did. His hand was green and warty. In fact he was green all over, and shorter than he remembered as well. What had happened? Why wasn’t he a Proto-Troll still? And where exactly was he? The snow-capped mountains of the valley were gone, replaced with a particularly barren plain. There was a cave behind him, and a large cooking pot, the contents of which did not smell appetising.

He tried to call up his character sheer, to discover what had gone wrong.

Name:

Max Masters

Type:

Goblin

Level:

1

Health:

7

That was it. No stats, no class, no powers or traits.

“Look, that one has a name! He must be a rare spawn,” a voice called out. “Kill it, quick!”

A sword hit him and all went black.

Max woke. He felt odd, different. Deflated. Wait, again? He was back where he had just been, standing on the barren plain in front of the cave with the cooking pot.

“Look, he is back! That was quick. Kill him again, see if the loot is just as good.”

He managed a glimpse, barely, of his attacker, who bore a nameplate stating that he was called xXxDarkSlayerzxXx, level 1, before the sword hit him again and darkness took him. Again.

Max woke. He felt odd, different. Deflated. A terrible realisation dawned on him. He was no longer a character, but a mob in a starting zone.

The sword hit him a third time and for a third time the blackness took him.

Immortality does not exist, but for you, we may make an exception. The voice came into his mind and was rather smug sounding to boot.

Immortality was going to be a long time.