Elster scrambled to her feet and off the white-haired wraith with all haste. The moment she crawled off the girl, she kept moving back until there was at least several metres of distance between them.
All the while, her eyes never left the girl, unwilling to trust that she wouldn't vanish the second she looked away.
It was the first time Elster got such a clear look at the wraith. Her mind began absorbing the key details of her physical appearance.
White hair, red eyes, pale skin. Young, early adulthood at most and perhaps even still in her teens. Her height was short, only approximating between 150 to 160cm. Her body proportions were slim, strongly lacking in either visible muscle or fat. A complete non-athlete. Heavy bruises and cuts littered her face and arms. Had she been in a fight?
How does a ghost even get hurt?
Elster set aside the thought for now, instead focusing on the wraith’s more unusual characteristics. The white hair was easily her most eye-catching feature, followed closely by the girl’s unnatural red eyes. Her skin was too pale, almost sickly-looking. It made the ugly bruises and cuts that marred her face and neck stand out even more.
After having a clear look at the wraith, she appeared a lot less… ghastly than how Elster remembered. The change in attire might have helped with that; instead of a nightie that was equal parts indecent and impractical, the girl was dressed in the typical Nation Polytechnic uniform meant for youths, which was far more mundane and appropriate.
But it was not just that. The girl looked more… real, for lack of a better word; less ethereal, more human. Elster’s enhanced senses could pick up the girl’s irregular and shallow breaths, her frantic heart rate, and even detect the beads of sweat forming on her forehead.
The wraith’s terrified expression also contributed greatly to her ‘realness’. Elster was expecting her to look angry or sad, not frozen stiff with fear.
Elster took note of the odd combination between the girl’s unusual white hair colour and pale skin again. Could be premature achromotrichia, she thought. But the pale skin and red eyes point towards albinism. Except… aren’t her eyes a little too red for that?
She briefly entertained that the girl was actually real, and not just a figment of an imagination, but she quickly discarded the thought. While there were some differences, the girl in front of her looked too similar to the wraith haunting her earlier. It had to be her.
Besides, what were the chances she would hallucinate about a white-haired girl, and then just coincidentally stumble upon another person with the same feature on the exact same day? White hair wasn’t exactly common; the odds of something like that were basically null.
Maybe she was thinking too hard on this. The girl was just an apparition… right?
Well, if that was the case, then what should she be doing?
Elster gazed at the girl, who stared back at her like a deer in headlights. Cautiously, Elster decided to take her eyes off her target and glance quickly around the train. The cabins were all still empty; as far as Elster could tell, the two of them were the only ones around. She turned back to the wraith and was relieved to find her still there.
With the girl finally in front of her, there were many things Elster wanted to confront her about. Even if she was just an imaginary apparition, interrogating her has to be at least worth a shot, right?
The Replika was already at the end of her rope, and it was only the first day. Was the wraith going to keep haunting her for the rest of her life? Why was she stalking her, and why did she keep sending her those visions and fake memories?
If she was going insane, she would at least like her delusions to make some sense, rather than simply be made up of random absurdity that held no context or meaning to her. The questions were right on Elster’s lips, but she hesitated to be the first to react to their stalemate.
However, the girl appeared to be in no hurry to react either. Or perhaps she was just too afraid to act. The silence stretched on, until Elster’s frayed patience finally snapped.
“Well!?” She lashed out. “Do you have nothing to say for yourself?”
The girl cowered at her raised voice, keeping her gaze to the floor and shaking in fear. She looked utterly pitiful, lying there surrounded by her broken belongings. Not at all how she was like during Elster’s earlier encounters with her. It was odd, but the Replika was too nervous and angry to care.
“Why?” Elster half-snarled. “Why all this? Why me? Don’t just sit there, answer me!”
Elster shouted those last words, the traces of her usual calm and stoic self gone. The girl flinched at those words, a half-choked sob escaping from her lips as she raised her arms protectively before herself. Arms that were covered in bruises.
The sight of the cowering wraith infuriated Elster. What was this pathetic display? After spending the entire day harassing and tormenting her, it should have been Elster who was the one afraid, not the other way around.
More than the rage, however, it was that sliver of sympathy and doubt creeping into Elster’s mind that was beginning to take precedence. The Replika forced herself to take a breath.
“Look at me,” Elster forced out, her tone calmer than before. It took a few seconds before the girl managed to nervously raise her head. Elster had to compose herself not to flinch when those red eyes met hers again. “Good. Now, explain yourself.”
“You’re one of AEON’s Protektor Replikas.” The girl finally blurted out, her tone terrified. Her voice sounded far more mundane than Elster expected. The Replika had been expecting a disembodied noise in her head again.
She continued talking nervously. “I swear, I'm not one of the protestors or insurgents or anything like the people you are looking for! I, I’m just…”
The girl didn’t appear to recognise her model. She thought she was part of the riot suppression group sent by AEON? Well, technically she was, but she was here not to police the riots and locals, but to– wait, no, that's not the main focus now.
“I’m just a student!” The girl kept babbling on, her words a deluge over barely disguised panic. “And I understand how this looks. I shouldn’t be out here, not while classes are still on. But you have to understand, I had to get away! I… the other students, they kept…”
Elster frowned. What was the wraith talking about? Did… did she think that Elster attacked her because of mere truancy? It was true that the totalitarian Nation took such matters seriously, especially now when tensions were high and such actions were highly suspect. Elster would have full rights to arrest her as a Replika. If the wraith were actually a Gestalt.
But at that moment, Elster couldn’t care less about the Nation or its laws.
“I don’t care about that,” Elster interrupted. “What I want to know is why you have been bothering me the entire day! Is this innocent charade of yours simply just to annoy me more?”
Some of the fear on the wraith’s face was replaced by confusion. “Bo–bothering? The entire day?”
“The visions? The hallucinations? Stalking and haunting me the entire time? Why did you do any of that? What do you want from me?” Elster demanded.
The wraith looked at her, dumbfounded. “I… what?”
Why was her hallucination trying to feign ignorance? Before Elster could stop herself, a flood of questions burst forth from her. “The nonsensical visions, what do they mean? And the nightmares, what was that place that you showed me? Why was I forced to kill those… things? And the steam room, why save me if you were just trying to drive me insane? And, and…”
The Replika's thoughts wandered back to the rooftop. You remember our Promise. Thank you, Elster.
The wraith looked genuinely lost, but Elster forced herself to push forth. Out of everything, somehow, that last statement that the wraith made on the rooftop was the one that lingered on her mind the most. “The Promise that I made. What was it? You thanked me for remembering it, but I have no recollection of what you mean. What did you make me do…”
Elster words trailed off. The wraith was staring at her slack-jawed in utter awe and bewilderment, her earlier fear seemingly washed away in the face of Elster’s outburst.
Unable to bear the wraith’s stunned expression, Elster looked away. “W-well?!”
The silence stretched for an insufferable long moment before the wraith finally replied: “I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.”
“Don't lie to me,” Elster snapped back, cheeks flushing. “You have been following me all day! And all the visions, the headaches, the hallucinations… that was all your doing!”
The wraith looked completely flabbergasted. “I’ve never met you before! I’m just a student, how could I have made you hallucinate?”
“What are you talking about? You are part of the hallucination.”
“I'm both part of the hallucination AND the one making you hallucinate?! How does that make any sense– Hang on, if you think I am just a hallucination, then why are you even trying to talk to me for?”
Their entire conversation was utterly nonsense. It felt like a fever dream, not that Elster knew what that was like. The wraith was also starting to sound angrier, now that her initial fear and confusion had passed.
“Is this why you attacked me?” The wraith demanded. “Because you somehow thought that I could make you see visions? THAT’S why you tried to kill me?”
“I wasn’t trying to kill you!” Elster defended herself. “I was just… just…”
What had she been trying to do? One moment she had been sitting down, and the next thing she knew, she was suddenly kneeling over the fallen wraith with her hands on her neck, ready to choke her to death.
Elster glanced at the girl’s neck, which was thankfully free of finger marks, despite her earlier aggression. It seemed that she had managed to come to her senses before she had seriously hurt her. Elster was surprised to find herself relieved at that, but–
Fulfil your Promise/ Kill Her.
Elster hissed, clutching her head. After the discomfort passed, she stared at the wraith venomously. “Stop doing that! Get out of my head!”
“I’m not doing anything!” The wraith shouted back. “Are you just insane? Is this what this is about?”
Kill Her.
The pain in her head suddenly returned, except this time it was far worse. It felt like someone was talking a sledgehammer against her brain. “I said STOP!”
“I already told you, I’m not doing anything–!”
Kill her.
End your misery and mine.
Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.
If she killed her, would the nightmares end? She could try. Killing her was fine, right? The girl wasn’t even real. What did she have to lose?
Before Elster realised what she was doing, her right hand was already grasping for the stun baton on her waist.
Not like that.
It must be by your hands.
Elster released her grip on the weapon. Mutely, she turned towards the girl, eyes cold and empty. The wraith saw her expression and turned pale.
The Replika could barely register anything. Her feet moved on their own. Step by step, she moved closer to the wraith, who was still on the ground.
Her murderous gait and intent could not be mistaken for anything else.
The wraith looked at her, the fear giving way to resignation. She laughed hollowly. “Just my luck. I ran away from my tormentors just to end up with something worse.”
GESTALT ERINNERUNG
MEMORY
“The universe just hates me, doesn't it? It just can't give me a break.”
ICH WAR SCHON IMMER NUTZLOS
“I'm about to get killed by an insane Replika…” The wraith’s voice was calm. She looked up at Elster, who was now right in front of her. Her smile was bitter. “What’s the point? I don't care any more. Do whatever you want.”
I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN USELESS
The Replika knelt down. Her hands reached out and grasped the wraith’s neck, who did not resist. Instead, she closed her eyes. Elster mutely stared at her face for a second, before her fingers clenched–
Memory
…
…
…
I’ve come back for you.
It’s me, Elster.
…
…
… Elster?
I’m sorry, but I don’t remember.
…
…
It’s okay.
…
I am me again. But you…
You are not you any more.
Perhaps, this is Hell…
…
Please, just let me stay by your side…
A little longer.
…
…
…
The anger and haze faded away.
Elster let her go.
Her fingers numbly slipped from the wraith’s delicate neck. The Replika just knelt there, staring at nothing.
She didn’t know what to think. What was there left to ponder about, anyway? She was irrevocably insane. Her moods kept swinging from irrational aggression to mute resignation at the blink of an eye.
She had no idea what she was supposed to do any more. What did she even want?
Elster glanced at the girl in front of her, who had opened her eyes and was staring at her with a mixed look of sufferance and confusion. The wraith’s neck remained free of damage. Elster had yet to hurt her yet. But…
The Replika eyed the other ugly bruises and cuts that littered her face. Gently, she placed a hand on the wraith’s cheek, tilting her head slightly to get a better look at her wounds.
The girl’s eyes opened in shock. She stammered: “What, what are you doing?!”
Elster’s finger lightly traced her wounds. Most of the bruises were fresh, the skin sprouting spots of noticeable flush that had yet to darken into ugly splotches.
Too many to be a simple accident. Looks like a beating. Kicks to her face, shoulder, and torso. Most likely when she’s on the ground, Elster deduced. Her breathing sounds a little erratic earlier, but I doubt it’s broken ribs, so that’s good. Bruises are still fresh. She must have received them less than twenty minutes ago. Right before she boarded the train… wait.
Elster frowned. A closer inspection revealed darker discolourations that she missed earlier, hiding beneath the uniform’s collar. Ignoring the wraith’s embarrassed yelp, she gently tugged away the collar, showing a mess of older bruises; a grotesque mosaic of purples, blues, and sickly yellows.
Not just a one-off occurrence. Multiple beatings. Regular beatings. Elster frowned.
“Get on a seat,” she ordered numbly.
The wraith blinked blankly. “What?”
The Replika sighed, before wrapping her hands under the wraith’s shoulder and bodily lifting her off the floor. She ignored the girl’s cries of surprise, instead plopping her down gently on one of the cabin’s seats and kneeling before her.
“Hold still, please,” Elster instructed. She began drawing out an assortment of medical items from her Replika inventory. The supplies that the Gestalt residents had given earlier were still with her. She had not expected to find a purpose for them at all, seeing as they were mostly ineffective on Replikas, but this was as good an opportunity as any to use them.
Cooling gel packs, band-aids, antiseptics, painkillers… The residents had been generous with their gifts, probably as a way to garner some favour with the Eule after their argument. Briefly, Elster wondered if the cheerful Replika would actually follow up on her claims to get an ARAR unit for their building repairs.
“Hold this to your cheek,” Elster said as she passed the wraith a cooling gel pack. “It will help with the swelling. Any headaches or dizziness?”
The girl stared at her for a few seconds before mutely shaking her head.
“No concussion, then. Good.” The Replika began cleaning the girl’s cuts, disinfecting them before applying the band-aids with precise and efficient movements. She might not have the medical training of an Eule, but all Replikas know basic Gestalt First Aid, in case they ever needed to treat one.
“These are Gestalt medical supplies,” the white-haired wraith suddenly spoke up. “Why do you have these? Do you just carry these with you all the time?”
“No. Today was just a weird day.” There was a short pause as Elster tried to think of something to say. She blurted out the first thing she thought of. “What about you? Your wounds show signs that this is a frequent occurrence. Do you get kicked in the face often?”
Why did I just say that? Elster thought, lamenting her model’s lack of any social skills. Literally saying anything else would have been better.
The wraith frowned, before her eyes looked away. “Not usually. Just… happens more often now, I suppose.”
There was a complicated look. A mix of frustration, resignation, and despair. After the events of the day, Elster could relate, even if the girl was the cause of her problems.
It took another ten minutes before Elster addressed all the wounds on her face, and another ten to attend to her arms.
“Here,” Elster said as she handed the wraith the rest of her Gestalt medical supplies. “You probably have more injuries elsewhere on your body, but I’m assuming you do not want me to strip you down and attend to you here.”
The wraith’s eyebrow twitched. “You assume correctly.”
Elster rolled her eyes. “Then, in that case, you will need the rest of these. Take them and use them when you get home. There are ointments and cold compresses that will work well with the bruises, so be sure to apply them after you wash yourself. Clean up your cuts and reapply the band-aids afterwards, before taking the painkillers. Once all that’s done, take it easy for the rest of the day and get some rest. If the pain or swelling becomes unbearable tomorrow, go see a doctor.”
“You don’t need to tell me all this. This isn’t the first time I have been through a beating,” the wraith said despondently. The expression on her face was conflicted. “Why did you attack me earlier, then help me afterwards? I thought… I thought you were going to kill me.”
That was what Elster wanted to know.
“Just insane, I suppose,” Elster said numbly. She sighed, rubbing her forehead in frustration. “I don’t need to tell you this, but you should probably stay away from me from now on, whatever you are. My life is already complicated enough without a ghost or imaginary phantasm haunting my days with nightmares.”
The girl looked unsure of how to react to that statement. “I don’t know what you think I am, but I'm just a student.”
Elster gave her a dubious look. “Sure.”
The cabin shook as the train took a turn. A broken charcoal stick rolled over to them. The wraith’s expression fell when she saw it. She tried to stand up, but Elster gently pushed her down.
“I’ll get it.”
The Replika moved around the cabin, meticulously picking up every shattered art tool and material scattered about. Broken charcoal stickers for sketches, torn drawings, the ruined notebook, and other damaged items.
She really likes drawing, Elster thought. Strange to see someone still keeping the arts as a hobby, especially within the Nation. It can’t be easy. Is that why she was hurt?
The Replika idly looked through the notebook. There was an impressive array of sketches and drawings, both coloured and charcoal drawn.
“Here,” Elster said as she passed the remains to the wraith. “This should be everything.”
The wraith nodded miserably as she examined her things. Elster paused before she handed her back the notebook.
“These drawings, are they all yours?” she asked.
The wraith chuckled bitterly. “What, do you want to tell me they are a waste of time as well? I’m sure a Replika from AEON has a lot to say on the uselessness of my drawings–”
“They are good,” Elster said, cutting off her tirade. “You should keep drawing.”
The girl looked at her, dumbfounded. “What?”
Elster shrugged. “Your drawings are good. The best I’ve seen, really. Granted, I haven’t seen much of any drawings before, but even I can tell that a lot of genuine effort and care was put into them.”
The Replika looked at the ruined art materials on the girl’s lap. “Today will be a setback for you,” Elster said. “But you shouldn’t give up. Even if others call it useless, or a waste of time… this is something you love. Spending time towards a goal you genuinely care for… something like that can’t be called a waste.”
Even if your efforts come to nought. Even if it amounts to nothing.
All that time… it has to mean something.
“That’s the first time anyone has ever said something nice about my drawing.” It took a while before the wraith found the right words to say. The girl looked strangely at Elster. “You’re not all right in the head, are you? No Replika would ever praise something as frivolous as this. Not even a Eule has anything nice to say.”
Elster shrugged. “Personally, I don’t see the harm. Besides, the Nation is not at war any more. Maybe restrictions on such things will loosen up soon.”
“I hope so,” the girl sighed, flipping through her sketchbook. “These were the last of my supplies that I managed to bring over when I moved here. Maybe I can somehow get Mom to send the rest I had over from Leng?”
Maybe Elster could respond, she felt the train begin to slow. An announcement was made, but the Replika was too distracted by the drawing on the girl’s notebook that she had flipped to.
The sketch of the isle, the same drawing she saw before she blacked out earlier. It looked… familiar.
Where had she seen it before?
“This is my stop,” the girl said, shakily standing up. Her hands were full holding both the medical supplies and her belongings, but not to the point of being overburdened.
“... I see.” Elster shook herself out of her reverie as she helped the wraith stand. “This is goodbye, then.”
The girl looked at her warily. “You aren’t going to stalk me home to kill me now, are you?”
Elster rolled her eyes. “That’s my line. I shouldn’t need to say this, but it would be best if the two of us never see each other again.”
The girl looked down. “That’s a shame. I think I would like to talk to you more, if only for a little bit.”
The Replika stared at her in disbelief. “I just tried to kill you.”
The girl shrugged. “And then you helped tend to my injuries and said my drawings are nice. That’s already way better than what anyone else did for me since I came here.”
Elster sighed. “Just stay away from me from now on. I never want to see you again. If you come haunting me again while I’m at work, I’ll… I’ll arrest you. I’m serious about this!”
She added that last part after the wraith started laughing. “Sure, sure.”
The train came to a stop, and its doors opened to reveal a near-empty station. The girl stepped off the train and onto the platform. She walked a few steps before hesitantly stopping.
She looked back at Elster. The red eyes that haunted the Replika all day did not look as intimidating now. “Thank you,” the girl said.
Elster gave an awkward wave as the doors closed. Once the train left the station. The Replika let out an explosive sigh of relief and sat down.
What a mess that was. Elster didn’t even know if she did the right thing or not. She didn’t even know if that encounter was even real. What if everything was fake, and she was trapped in some dream where nothing made sense?
That last thought felt exceedingly disturbing to her for some reason.
Well, those concerns could be addressed after she got some rest in her calibration pod. How far was she from her station anyway? Elster glanced at the destination display, blinked, double-checked that she was reading it right, before jolting to her feet with a frustrated cry.
Of course, that last stop where her imaginary wraith got off had been the Replika’s stop as well. And she had just missed it completely.