Everyone spends most of the day alone. During one of the few times we are together, Nikki brings up their theory to James and Amelia and they say that we should probably head out tomorrow to look for any useful supplies and a CRT or plasma screen. James suggests we get some board games too if we can find anything, so I mention Rules and Amelia says she knows how to play so she’ll give me a game. We then discuss who’s actually going and decide Amelia and Nikki since Nikki knows the town better and Amelia prefers driving her car. I hear the thudding again at night and decide to start sleeping on the floor again. That night, I spend a lot of time thinking, and given the circumstances, my thoughts are drawn to what happened after Nikki and I had intercourse. Most of it is vague but something significant did happen – I met a third non-entity. Nikki drove us back, I think, and Stranger and Other were at the WHSmith. Then I went out with Stranger, we noticed (or most likely, Stranger noticed) a weird visual phenomenon. When we investigated, something, a non-entity, tried to talk to us. I keep trying to remember exactly what the non-entity is, but I fall asleep before I get anywhere.

On Tuesday the internet connection drops so we give up looking for signs of non-entities on the internet. Nikki and Amelia leave early in the morning. I remain in bed for a while, continuing my thoughts where I left off. I can recall a bit more than before, but the order of events is still off. I remember playing Rules until the event was over, but my memory jumps to chatting to Other outside the WHSmith after that, and that jumps to throwing more things at Nikki. Everything being so inconsistent seems to suggest time being manipulated, but that might be too optimistic. I guess I’ll ask Nikki if they remember anything when they come back. I put the thoughts to the side and get out of bed.

James tries to talk to me as I eat my breakfast rations in the communal area. I try to respond, but I don’t try very hard and the conversation dies down. Eventually he gives up and focuses on his book while I look for a new one. Once I find something, we sit in silence avoiding looking in the other’s direction; it reminds me of home. We often spent whole evenings in silence like this: my parents ignored the unfortunate fact of my and my brother’s existence, and we did the same with respect to their existence. The familiarity of this thickening silence, the silence born from people actively ignoring each other, is comforting. So, I don’t mind that it goes on for hours, but I do start wondering when Nikki and Amelia will return; I’m even tempted to disturb the peacefully settled quiet to ask James if we should start getting concerned. But the hatch opens before I do, and I can hear it being slammed closed. I hurry after James to see Nikki and Amelia.

They’re on edge and have dropped the supplies haphazardly on the corridor floor. James goes forward to ask if Amelia is okay, and I do the same for Nikki.

“We’ll explain in a moment. We should go to the control room now.” Amelia tells James something similar, so we go there. I check for signs of injury as we do, but I’m relieved to find none. Nikki collapses onto a chair and lets out a sigh. I can see their hands shaking (although it’s not very noticeable), so I hurry to the kitchen to fetch some water for them – I remember to some for Amelia too when I’m there.

Once Nikki and Amelia have drunk all the water I brought, they start to relax. They exchange a look and Nikki motions for Amelia to begin the explanation. She starts: “We got most of the stuff, but we had to travel further than we wanted to. It was fine until we came across some people. I think they’re military—"

“Military? This isn’t the sort of emergency that warrants military. We should only expect their help in the even of a ‘natural disaster or a—"

“’—major incident.’” Amelia gives James a look for interrupting her. “Yes, I know, James. I read ‘Emergency Plan and Procedure for ‘The Books’ too. But they were military. They’re not acting under government instruction.”

“Did they see you?”

“They did, but only for a moment. I don’t know if they were able to follow us, but I drove the car into a river, so they can’t use that to find us.”

“Hopefully they won’t make anything of it, but I’ll keep the camera feed from outside on from now on.” Amelia approves of the idea. “Are you two alright?”

“Again, yes. We were just a bit panicked.”

“Alright,” James sighs. “I guess we were right about it getting too dangerous. No-one leaves again.”

We all agree. James and Amelia leave to organise the stuff that was brought back, and Nikki looks at me. “I couldn’t find a plasma screen, so we just got an old LED laptop. It’ll probably take a few days, but we’ve got plenty of time. Want to get our lunch rations while I get it set up?” I nod and so Nikki retrieves the laptop and brings it to the communal area, while I go to the kitchen and prepare our lunch. The ration for today is a ham, lettuce, and cheese sandwich. I take out two plates and assemble them – my sandwich is ordered lettuce, cheese, ham, and Nikki’s ham, lettuce, cheese. The bread still retains the slightest bit of heat from when it was made almost an hour ago. I take the rations to the communal room where Nikki has connected their phone to the laptop which is displaying Jesus grinning directly at the camera at full brightness. I give them their plate and we watch the image as we eat until it starts to make us uncomfortable and we turn it around.

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“What do you think makes us see them the way we see them?” Nikki asks me.

“I’m not sure … it seems a bit random to me.”

“I’m sure it can’t be.”

“I don’t think it is either, but it does seem that way.”

“What does James see them as again?”

“I don’t remember. I don’t think he ever said.” On cue, James enters.

“And he shall appear, my ears are burning, etcetera,” he winks at us. “What are you chatting about?”

“Our Lord and Saviour.”

“Oh, that bastard.”

“Yep. We were wondering why he appears the way he does to people.”

“Ah, I have to say I never gave it much thought.” James sits down in his usual seat, to the right of the door, and thinks. “Well, I see him as James Bond. Not any of the actors, but as the character. Exactly how I imagined he’d look from the books.”

“What do you think of Bond?” Nikki asks.

“As a child I thought he was really cool. I never grew out of my spy-phase. As you can tell.”

“I see. What does Amelia think of Madonna?”

“She loves her music and personality. I think she died her hair blonde at one point, but it didn’t suit her at all.”

“Admiration is a common theme … or it would be. Do you like your brother?”

“He … was the best member of my family, but I didn’t have strong feelings towards him one way or another.”

“That’s odd. It must be something else. Did you ever look up to him?”

“Maybe when I was really young, but I don’t really remember much from then.” My brother must have spent a lot of time outside the house; I can’t recall seeing him at all until I was about five.

“Well at least that doesn’t rule out admiration as being the defining factor … ideally we’d have more subjects.”

“I can list off what some of the people I worked with saw him as,” James offers. “But except for a few, I won’t know how they felt about the person they saw him as.”

“Better than nothing.”

And so, James lists of some famous people and offers some suggestions, and I listen for a bit. Although I like developing theories about this stuff my mind returns to the potentially time-altering non-entity. Should I tell them? I need to tell Nikki at least, but I don’t know how I feel about telling James and Amelia just yet. We’ve got a while to wait and it might be a false alarm, but it is an interesting find so letting them know might be worthwhile. I occasionally contribute to the theorising as my internal debate runs around in circles. Amelia joins in eventually and I head back to our room shortly after that.

On the bed I find a pack of Rules cards, with a few booster packs, which I have to open at once. It’s the same structure deck I started which means Nikki probably picked it out – maybe it’s exactly the same one we found during the last event. I tear open the booster packs one at a time and flick through all the cards. Most of the cards I keep in my usual deck are here, and every time I find one I let out a “yes!” but some of the most important ones aren’t. But that doesn’t matter too much; I’m just glad to be able to play again. I start organising the deck and enough time passes for Nikki to finish their conversation and join me.

“Ah, that’s the right one, right?” they ask as they walk in.

“It is.” I’m grinning. “Thank you so much.”

“Welcome. I doubt Amy will feel like playing now, but I’d like to watch you two tomorrow.”

“Sure. I’m looking forward. Do you want to split the deck for a game?”

“Sure,” says Nikki. And so, we play a few rounds before reading. I sleep on the bed again.

#

On Wednesday Amelia and I have our game early in the morning – apparently, she’s been looking forward to it too. Her deck’s strategy is to give each player an object to protect, and then destroying the opponent’s object, giving victory. I lose the first time, but we have another round and I win. I win the next round too, and the next. She wins the one after that, and then we stop playing because we’ve both gotten very excited and it’s bothering James who is trying to nap. We decide we’ll continue in a few hours, and when we do I remain the overall winner.

At the end of the day, we decide to see if we can deduce the true image of Jesus. But we can’t: there’s only a vaguely human shape burnt in where he was smiling. I can make our hair, in distinct Madonna style, and I can see some of my brother’s face clearly above the mess since he’s quite tall. I can’t really make James Bond out, but I do see a few of Nikki’s features. I’m a bit disappointed, but more fascinated by how the illusion must work.

“Well,” says Nikki. “That isn’t the way I would have done it.”

“Done what?” Amelia asks.

“Made the illusion work. It seems excessive.”

“Oh, I see what you mean. She’s a pretty odd girl.”

We unplug the laptop and phone and return to bed.

Thursday and Friday are spent mostly playing board games – and they’ve never felt more fun. My family never played them for leisure; they were played to assert dominance. Exciting as that is, it’s not my thing. Playing so casually is refreshing. Nikki, unfortunately, does play competitively and although Amelia started off very relaxed, she becomes coerced into a fierce rivalry with Nikki. By the end of it James and I are hardly more than resources to be exploited in the effort of each to best the other. It’s not as relaxing as it could be, but I like cheering Nikki on, and by Friday I’ve given up on winning myself, focusing only on helping Nikki defeat Amelia. James is idly amused by this dynamic.

By Saturday night everyone has gotten too tense for board games, so we watch a film. That’s when I remember that I need to tell Nikki about what I remembered and so once we’re in the room together that’s what I do.

“You definitely remember this?”

“Yes.”

“I think you’re right. I have similar memories. I remember you coming back, and everything after seems messed up. We may have found a time-altering non-entity. This is great news.”