when I open them, the child is there again and has brought me books. It tells me I said I liked books, but I don’t remember telling them this. I thank the child anyway. They smile at me and I ask them what they’re name is. I can hear them clearly when they say Amy. Amelia was a friend of mine, but she got scared of me like your parents did, and ran way. They’re not my parents, remember? They’re my mum’s brother and sister. Please don’t smite them. I couldn’t smite a fly. Can you walk? I stand up and walk around fine. Amy gets up and takes my hand again. Will you meet with the priests? You won’t get shot again. I have to get back home, I say to Amy. Where is that? I tell her the name and ask Could someone take me there? Yes, but please come talk with the priests first. Okay, I don’t mind talking, as long as someone takes me there. Amy takes me back to her house, which I can see now is at the edge of many houses, shielded with tin and wood. The people guarding the perimeter of this town watch us closely, but don’t raise their weapons and Amy leads me to the centre where a large crowd is gathered, who kindly, fearfully part so we can stand at their centre with two men and a woman. The first man asks me if I am sent by Jesus or the Devil and I tell him that I am sent my neither. The second asks what I am, and I say nothing. The woman waits a few moments and proclaims it is their duty to deduce what I am, and the trial begins now. I ask how long it will take and if someone could take me back to my town, when this is over. This generates murmurs, and someone writes something down. When everyone settles the trial begins and I am asked questions and people shout out their cases. It’s demonic, unnatural, why would Jesus send us something ghastly as this? It is but a test; it will deliver us. It is dangerous; don’t you just feel sick looking at it? Don’t you see how it is breaking our minds already? I can see it, I can’t see it, I can see mirages swirling in its holes! If it were up to the crowd I would be branded devil-spawn, but one of the priests and Amy defend my case. In the end the final remark is Let’s not judge this creature by its abominable appearance, its grievance wounds; it has shown no hostile intent, even when fired upon and injured by Amy’s parents. It is lost as we are in these strange times – we will repay it for what we have learnt by taking it where it wishes to go. I will drive there myself. Pleased at this remark, and tired from concentrating at length I allow the world to fade for just a bit and
the word comes back and it’s a world I know well, even though I think it’s dark; I’m next to the town’s welcome sign. I go towards the centre and no-one stops me because there is no-one. Not until I walk pass the Board once more where I see Nikki, writing furiously as ever, now using two hands. Stranger isn’t here, but I feel clear enough to talk to Nikki and I say hi to them. Their lips say hi, as do they’re eyes, and they pause their writing. Everything is still going to plan. Good, I say. Can I do anything to help? Just make sure you’re around when we need you; Stranger will make sure of that; they’re in the WHSmith with Other. I don’t want to keep you from whatever you’re doing – the first note is glitched; I’m befriending myself over and over, just in case – ah, I still don’t want to keep you, but can I just ask something, in case I don’t ever get to ask you anything ever again? We’ll talk when this is over; I’ll cure you and everyone will be at peace. I trust you, but I still want to know now. What? Did you know I have a crush on you? Yes. So, you don’t like me the same way? I think your crush is a mistake; I’m not kind to you. You’re my friend because you want to be, and I’m yours because you’re not annoying. I don’t care if you aren’t kind to me. I have no interest in you, but if you ever want to have sex again – when you’re cured – come talk to me. So, does that answer your question? Yes. Nikki goes back to befriending themselves and I arrive in the WHSmith where Stranger and Other greet me; the former with Hello and the latter with a wave of excitement. I attempt to smile and approach Other to hug them. In whatever state I’m in, their pins-and-needle hug feels all-the-more intense, and all-the-more calming and I wonder how it feels for them; seemingly not bad as they don’t let go. Neither do I. I tell them what happened to me isn’t my fault and, together, we are relief.
Stranger and I converse while the hug goes on. They tell me it’s the 6th event. Nikki was concerned that you wouldn’t be back before we needed you; I’ll be following you until the 7th event, and then I’ll show you what to do. That’s fine, but there’s one thing I want to do first. What do you want to do? I want to go back home and see what it’s like. But not here; in the real world. You can do what you want so long as you’re lucid when the 7th event starts. Once I’ve seen it I’ll go right to sleep, and you can wake me up when it starts. That sounds fine. Stranger goes back to reading The War of the Worlds and I, still relaxing into Other, continue browsing the books where I left off six weeks ago
the pins-and-needles fade and Nikki and myself are next to me. The other me is sitting on the floor, writing on their phone furiously and Nikki is reading the blurb of Game of Thrones, checking their phone when it buzzes. This goes on for a few moments, before the other me stands up and talks to Nikki. I reach my hand out to see if I can touch myself, but I know I can’t. I know I shouldn’t. I watch a few moments longer, but can’t hear any of the conversation, so I leave, the same way I know I ought to. I keep on walking, through the park (where I see myself and Nikki again, talking about the books, figuring stuff out), and to the street that leads almost directly to Nikki’s house. But I turn left there and after some time I’m standing outside my own house.
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It’s bright again; early morning. The police tape is slight frosted, as is our overgrown lawn. I push the broken-door open gently and crawl under the tape to get inside. Stairs are to the right. As are the kitchen and guest room, but these are towards the back of the house. The living room is to the left. I enter there because that’s where the books are, in shelves that line both the left and right walls. Between these, facing inwards from the window, are the two armchairs my parents sit in, placed so their sides touch. When they weren’t working, they would be together in those chairs. I can see their ghosts: my mother is reading Post Office; my father is reading Midnight’s Children. They’re holding hands and taking long, loving glances at each other.
They fade as my brother walks in – something I’m not surprised by – and says, “I didn’t like them. Even I could tell they weren’t good parents. But I liked seeing their love for each other.”
“That’s a bit of a weird thing for a son to say about his parents?”
“I’m not really their son, though. But hey, given what you’ve become, we’re probably the closest thing the other has to family at this point.” I turn around and see my brother more clearly than I’ve seen anything else for a very long time. He smiles at me and takes a seat on the floor. “Do you want to chat? I do. I didn’t want to interfere too much, but I’ve had to a lot, so I’ve given up on that policy.” I sit down in front of my brother and nod. “Alright … I guess we’ve only got a little while before you zone-out again. We have time to discuss three things, I reckon. What would you like to talk about?”
“Why did you become part of my family?”
“Oh, well that wasn’t really my choice and that’s a long story. But if you really want to know; I simply found your parents interesting – they just let me live in their house and didn’t mind since I was quiet and didn’t eat food. You were about six when I started living with you guys, and I was always planning on leaving after a short time, but then something happened: the company your parents were working for discovered non-entities, although your parents never knew about this. I stayed to watch this develop.”
“What happened here almost seven weeks ago?”
“That is due to me, I’m afraid.” My brother sighs and lowers his head slightly. “We attract our kind, and for the longest time I only attracted the undetectable harmless sort, but the more of them there were, the greater the risk was. Eventually detectable ones started showing up and it became obvious that they mostly appeared where your parents lived. The company wanted to apprehend them on that day, but your parents are very strange and decided it was better to fight – a fight they only won because of me.” He looks over his shoulder to the blood bathed, bone-fragment sprinkled hallway. “I told them to leave, told them I wasn’t their son, but that I owed them for keeping me entertained for twelve years. Well, they didn’t care about my reasons, nor did they thank me. But they did take my advice and they left. What’s the last thing you want to know?”
“What do you really want?”
“I’m a nice person, you know.” He smiles, closes his eyes and gives me two small nods as he hmms to himself. “I do really want to bring about the Second Coming, give you all your own little paradises, and I do think the best way to do this is by giving you all a taste of power to change reality, and I haven’t given up on that. I lied when I said I was abandoning this project. I knew people would try to exploit the system and it’s important that people learn to think about these too. That’s why I was fascinated by Nikki and you: you were both always breaking games as a child, finding loopholes, glitches, etcetera. That’s why I kept you together; I wanted to give you the chance to exploit it and I’m very impressed by what you’ve done so far. Mostly, what Nikki has done, but you’ve been very important to their plans too. Of course, I knew it would turn out like this – the decay of Your Company and rebellion of my employees, the way Nikki is exploiting the situation. To actually see it occur, though … I’m awed. But it’s all for naught. Just like the efforts of Amelia, James and the hundred others who think they’ve got a way out. I won’t let anyone ruin it. I can’t. I like existing too much, and I want everyone to have their paradise. If people ruin it, let the non-entities run free – everything will be at risk. So, when Nikki thinks they’ve achieved that consuming world of theirs – which they’re quite right in believing they’ll get – I’ll stop it. No matter how far they go in their plan, I can revert everything back.” My brother stands up and winks. “Don’t spoil the ending for them, though. I’m telling you this in confidence.” He spreads his arms out and yawns. “Well, nice chat, Lollipop, but you told that handsome friend of yours you’d be well rested for the final collection event, so you better get to sleep soon. We can chat a lot more when this is over.”
I lie down and close my eyes. My mouth is shut. I want to tell my brother he shouldn’t underestimate Nikki, but I want him to underestimate them. Because I could stop narrating here; I know that Nikki has won and that was always the only possible ending. This is fact. But I want to tell you about their victory.