“I have the map that you need, but if you want, it, I’ll require you to go on a quest!” The mysterious man we located in the alley based on the bartender’s directions stated.

“S-seriously?”

“Yes… you see, the other day, I was fighting for my life, and my prized armor was lost. I need you to find all five pieces of armor. Each piece is in the hands of a different scoundrel located all across Alerith.”

“What?”

“You will need to acquire the armor from them, which may require you to complete their requests in turn! However, that is a risk I’m willing to take.”

“Um… can’t I just give you the money for the armor?” I asked with my eyes narrowed. “Heck, I’ll pay double, I just really need that map.”

“No! That armor is particularly important to me!” He snarled. “You must recover it! Once you do that task, and also clean my house and do my taxes, I’ll give it to you!”

“What were those last two? You live in a tent and you’re a criminal who probably doesn’t pay taxes!”

“Hmph! Don’t judge me! Do you want the map or not?”

Why does this world randomly turn into a game at times? I’m already on a side quest, and now I had an errand in the side quest which may lead to another side quest. I just wanted a map that indicated some good places for a Bandit to hit!

“And don’t think you can find this map anywhere else! I’m the only man in the poor district who has a Cartographer job. Plus, I used to work for the Merchant’s Guild and still have some contacts there, so my information is good!”

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“Can I just glance at it, to make sure it’s real?”

If I just looked at it once, I’d be able to update it on my Map skill, and then I wouldn’t need to do anything ridiculous. This guy was seriously pissing me off. No one would care if I murdered him, right? I mean, he could just be resurrected later, right? I supposed if I started thinking and acting that way, I’d be just as bad as all of the others. I resisted the urge to end this man’s life, but I was thinking about it.

The man folded the map and then put it in his back pocket. “You think I’m a fool? Armor first, or no deal!”

“Can I kill him?” Salicia mouthed the words.

“No, we can’t.” I sighed. “Very well, this map better be freaking worth it.”

The man then gave me the location of all of his pieces. Some seemed easy to acquire, while others seemed to span day-long adventures. It was truly disheartening. Maybe that’s what it means to be a Hero. Never give up, even in the face of constant side quests. The pair of us turned around and left. After leaving the wiry man behind, I checked my map and considered how we were going to get the armor.

“We probably should start with the mysterious mage. I swear to god if he has a backstory, I’ll-“

“It’s fine, Master, I just pickpocketed him.”

I froze. “What?”

She didn’t even get close to him.

She pulled out the map, “It’s one of my skills. How could I be a Bandit Queen and not be able to pick someone’s pocket from the other side of the room.”

“I don’t even want to go into how little sense that makes.”

“Well, whatever. He was annoying so I just took the map.” She handed it to me, and then let out a noise. “Ah! But… I’m sorry Master, I know you don’t like theft! Do you want me to return it and we can do the quest fairly?”

“Hell, no!” I pulled the map away and opened it.

Once the information appeared in my Map skill, I let out a breath of relief.

“Salicia, I could kiss you!” I declared, marching back to our house with renewed purpose.

“K-k-kiss…” She blushed, touching her fingers together and then speaking very lightly. “W-well, if that is what Master wants…”

I looked back to see Salicia standing a few dozen meters behind me, not moving as she had her lowered and her face flushed.

“Come on? What’s the holdup?”

“Ah! Y-yes!” Salicia ran up next to me and we made our way back to start planning tonight’s raid.