Everyone has amnesia in some form. We cannot remember our life before the age of 6 and that is something never bothered us, It has become a part of life and norm. I have amnesia and the only difference is, my 14-years worth of memories missing from my life.

                                                                                   ******

Part 1: Dreams of The Past

When the light of dawn touched on my face, I opened my eyes with a warm and fuzzy feeling, I didn't know where that feeling came from.

The day would be the same as always it has been, I will go to school and come back home, do some work and sleep.

"What is this about..."

 But when I roll around on my bed and turned to left, I saw her. The moment I saw her face I knew, where that warm and fuzzy feeling came from. It was her.

 "Senpai...? "

 The first light of the sun shining on her beautiful face, contrasting her black hairs and skin. Right now, her beautiful eyes were hidden under her soft eyebrow, but I wanted to be the part of the world that shone in her eyes.

I want to have my presence in the world she sees through her eyes, In every moment of my and her life.

 "She is making a cute face in her sleep."

 There was drool on her face and she was grinning in her sleep. It is strange to find her cute in this kind defenseless condition she is in? I questioned myself.

 Though I wanted to spend more time while lying beside her, that won't do!

I had to get ready and go to school so, I left my bed with her and went downstairs to cook something " Here I come, Delicious food! " I spoke in a song like a rhythm. I was excited to cook something for senpai thus I also become somewhat strange

"I wonder, how would senpai respond to my cooking? Will she praise the cook or the food? I mean, I am using a delicious Salmon so, it will taste good no matter what. Hmm, maybe I should use something that shows skills of co... Ummm..... Argh... Let's just go with salmon"

 So, I cooked the fish with every bit of my talent that I could muster and waited for senpai to wake up but she didn't. In the end, I thought " Maybe she isn't morning person... " I was already late for school so, I left the house with a note on the table with food in the fridge.

 On the road, I was now. Heading towards the school. By now I could somewhat understand what senpai thought of me, Though there were other concerns. "This isn't a dream? " yea, there were still things that I couldn't bring myself to believe.

I mean, we were living under the same roof and she is "Now senpai is my girlfriend... " she accepted my confession and rejected everyone else's.

on top of that, " we have already kissed more than twice... if this was rom-com, the author wouldn't have anything else to progress the story with! " .......

In any case, I was happy.

[High School]

My high school looks like any ordinary high school, A two-story main building, a gym building on the right and a courtyard in the top left.

I am in the last year of high school. Well, this is the beginning of the last year.

 "This somehow feels different compared to before. "

 There were small things stood out to me while I walked to the school, the gust of wind on my face felt refreshing, the sun above my head which has always been annoying, is kind today.

As I stepped inside my school, I realized; how much I and my life has changed in one single day because of senpai.

I was kind of person whom you would call 'Gloomy'. I stood out in everyone's eyes, but not in a good way. I was never able to find a place in the school, in this world, where I could belong to. Nothing excited me for some reasons but when I saw senpai for the first time at the station, I fell in love and finally, found a place where I could belong, and then, I only had to achieve that place and that I did, by conveying my love to senpai.

 -I still know little about senpai though I have the intention to know everything about her! The secrets that she holds close to her hearts is now what I aiming for!

 "Just kidding. Let's go to class!" (I wasn't)

 Every other student was already in the class and I was pretty late-- So, I directly went to my class, which was on the 2nd floor of the school building.

-Walking those staircases is pain ass

Is what I had always thought and I still think It was a pain in the ass but let's not go there.

I stood in front of my classroom's door, I could hear the teacher taking the attendance and that made me nervous. I had already missed the ceremony and now that I came to school, I was late.

-I want to go home...but

 I had to muster a lot of courage to open the door while the homeroom was in session but I did open it.

 ".............. " I was greeted by silence and surprised expression on my classmates' and teacher's face. What are they surprised for? Is there something on my face?

 While I stood there, Looking at everyone's face the teacher said " What standing there like a statue for? Come in and sit down "

 I stepped inside the classroom and was walking towards my bench when I heard my classmates talking "Isn't that Reil Katsuki? What happened to him? "

"yea, he looks, like a totally different person! " is what they said. I ignored their gaze and sat on my chair.

 -There is without a doubt, something on my face!

 A few of my classmates keep on staring at me but I didn't have time to go and look at myself in the mirror, in the middle of class, So, I endured their stares.

 The homeroom ended but not the stares that I was targeted by.

Before the next class started, the boy who sits in front of me, turned and asked me "Hey, Riel- What happened to you? "

-Wh..what? What happened to me? What.. I don't know! and why he is talking to me? That's something never happened before even though we have been in the same class for two years!

 "uh... Nakamura, Is there something on my face? " I asked him in a low voice

 When I asked him that question, He seemed a little surprised by my question since there is a little pause before he answered.

 Nakamura is the person who sits in front of me, He is--- I don't know what kind of person he is but I do have a general idea about his personality, Last-year he was also in the same class with me and I did often saw him flirting with girls from the class. So, yeah, you get the idea, he kinda straightforward. By the way, He is also the person who asked Senpai if she was only interested in girls.

 "No, there is nothing on your face. It's just that you look really good without acne on your face and yea, those dark circles under eyes are gone. Your skin is also... You look kinda cool. So, can tell me your secret? How did a gloomy guy like you turned into the person I see before my eyes "

 ".........Are you making fun of me, Nakamura? "

 "No! I wouldn't... " He said but before he could finish, The biology teacher was already in the class "Get back to seats, everyone. "

 "we will talk later." Said Nakamura and turned to the front.

 I was stunned by Nakamura's word. I, who couldn't even believe senpai when she genuinely accepted my confession, and still cried in front of her and then, ran away, I, who have done things like that Look cool?

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 What a joke that was. So, That's I thought at that time about Nakamura's words and didn't pay much attention to them.

 "We will study human reproduction today. " Teacher said

 -.......Am I in middle school again?

 Pimples on my face were already gone before I confessed to Hina-senpai, It was one of a phase of the puberty I was going through.

 [Lunch break]

 Nakamura didn't talk to me after that and the Lunch bell rang, as the bell rang, few of my classmates surrounded me and my chair. They all started asking stupid questions such as "Riel have you gone through plastic surgery? " Another one asks "Did you went oversee for the summer holiday, which changed you drastically? "

 My reply was " uh-umm eh? " yea, that was all. I was confused beyond words. They first bombarded me with questions and then, they started talking to themselves while reaching their conclusions and still, standing and surrounding me.

I wanted to get out there so, I looked over the shoulder of one of the guy, towards the door and I was dumb-founded from what I saw

 I saw Nakamura standing near the door while blocking the way and for a second, I saw the person He was talking to,

 "Hina-Senpai? " Were words that came out of my mouth without my realization-- What she is doing here?

 When all of those, who had surrounded me heard those words, they saw me looking at the door. All of them saw her and rushed towards the door. Almost all of the guys and girls from the class now were standing near the door, talking to Hina-senpai. Suddenly, I was left alone.

 I left my chair and stood up, Started looking at the Hina-senpai while she was talking to everyone. There were a lot of people around her, so many that I couldn't push anyone away from her, neither I could get close to her.

-Oh... No... She is my girlfriend, I don't have to get depressed over something like this. and Like me, Everyone admired her.

 But I don't think... Anyone love her, as I do.

 -She is the only person I love and now, She is my girlfriend. By being my girlfriend and accepting my feelings, She showed me her my feelings, She felt the same way towards me as I did towards her.

 I started walking towards the door, with many thoughts similar to that. As I walked to the door, I was drained of my embarrassment and shyness. I felt empty but proud. I wasn't looking down, I was looking straight forward, looking directly at, her face and the smile she had while talking to everyone. The smile on her face, it was different compared to the one she showed me.

 I am sure, She was looking for me and she searched for me in the class, while she talks to others-- She must have seen me, sitting on the chair. As her kind personality is, She must have thought to finish the greeting she was being presented by all other students and then, talk to me. But is that what I wanted?

 -No... I want to be the first one she talks to, whenever she sees me.

 With determination like that, I walked to her, to the group she was surrounded by. With a straight expression on my face; I wanna talk to her! Get F--- Away from her, mob-characters. These were the words that I wanted to say but I ended up with

 "uhh... Guys... Could let me pass? " Is what I said when I reached the group. Hina-Senpai saw me speaking and smiled, the smile that I like but... It seems that it was not clear enough for someone to understand what I meant.

 "Hey! guys, make a way for Riel-- He needs to go to the bathroom. " Said, Nakamura with kindness... Kindness my ass! I wanted to knife him so bad at that moment and you could tell that, by the expression I had when I heard him say that.

 But to my surprise, Instead of laughing at the joke that Nakamura made, everyone made way for me to walk outside of class. But to their surprise, Instead of walking outside, I walked to the Hina-Senpai and asked her "Senpai, What are you doing here? Do you need anything? "

 Indeed when they heard me ask senpai a question like that, everyone was surprised but when senpai answered with a little but still, an embarrassing expression on her face "Aha... No, Katsuki-chan, I just wanted to give you bento that you forgot at the home... No, I made it for you."

 "Wha.."

 "Made a bento... "

 "For Riel?... "

 Their surprise turned into a shock. -Are you okay? Nakamura. Wanna go to the bathroom instead of me? to cry...Fu! Fu! Fu! (Evil Laugh)

In any case, I had to reply to senpai so, For now, I let my laugh aside and replied to senpai "Thank you, Senpai. " and I didn't say anything more, didn't ask what I should've at that time and She waited for the words the I wouldn't speak for a few seconds before saying "Then, I'll be going." Surely, I had some-what development but that was not enough.

I watched her, heading down the hallway with little hesitation that I didn't notice. When She was gone, everyone went back to their sits and started talking and guessing the relationship between me and senpai. Surely, They never thought She is my girlfriend. No matter what I turned into and what I became, they can never think the girl who rejected everyone in the school would go out with someone like Riel Katsuki, Someone like me.

 They were wrong about that and Also I was but I was wrong about something else. Surely, a girl who rejected everyone's confession in the school wouldn't go out with someone like me unless there something more to it.

 -Where did that Nakamura go?

 There was more much to it that I would learn later in the future.

 On the rooftop of the school, Hina-Senpai was standing with another guy. If I had seen that, I would have surely snapped.

 ; End of Part - 1

Part 2: Dreams of The Past

When Senpai was walking down the hallway, Someone had chased after her, Realising something that I didn't and did something that I couldn't.

He stopped senpai on the staircase and asked "Senpai, Could we talk for a bit? "

 "Nakamura...?" Senpai Mumbled and agreed to listen to his words. Then Nakamura lead Senpai to the rooftop

 [On the rooftop, Their Legendary Conversation Begins]

Near the rooftop gate, Senpai stood in front of Nakamura. With a little hesitation in his words, Nakamura asked Senpai " Umm... Hina-Senpai, What is your relationship with Riel? Is he your relative... but I never saw you talking to him before and neither he is kind of person who would talk to anyone, let alone someone like you but today, He was different. He came to you and talked to you as if it was nothing to him-- as if that was normal and he even used your given name. So?"

Hina-Senpai's full name is, Fukai Hina-- Her given name is Hina. She listened carefully to whatever Nakamura had to say but Nakamura noticed an annoyed expression on Hina-senpai's face when he finished talking to her-- With that annoyed expression on her face, Senpai replied to Nakamura's question with her own question "Nakamura.... was it? First of all, I don't remember getting so familiar with you that you started to use my given name. So, Why are you using it? "

Nakamura was taken back by Senpai's question, He was surprised The girl who was so kind that she'd allow everyone to use her given name, is asking such question. Though it was only in his imagination that Senpai would allow anyone to use her given name.

 "uh? I thought you don't mind people using your name... Even Riel used it. " Nakamura asked Senpai

And the answer he was about to receive is something so satisfying that I could die in peace.

 "He uses my given name cause he is my boyfriend. And you, you are not even someone I know much about." Senpai said to Nakamura.

 Nakamura was dumbfounded by Senpai's answer, so much that he refused to believe Senpai's words and thought of 'Aha this is a dream, isn't it? Indeed, It is a dream. ' emerged in his mind but, Sorry, It's not a dream, Nakamura-Kun.

 Even though Nakamura tried his best to deny the reality, He failed to do so. As he recovered from the shock, He asked senpai, with a calm voice "I understand... But senpai, you said that you wouldn't go out with anyone so, now why are you going out with him? "

And Senpai remained silent for a few seconds and after much thoughts, she answered his question with " That got nothing to do with you but... I know if I don't answer, you will end up asking about it to Katsuki-chan and I don't want to cause trouble for him so, I will answer. Along the lines that I said while turning everyone down, I forgot to mention something so, Let me tell you again and this time, with what I had forgotten to mention 'Please don't worry, it just not you. right now, I am not interested in any of boys since I already have someone I love' and that person is, Riel Katsuki. There were various reasons for me to not confess to him even though I badly I wanted to but when He confessed to me, I was all over clouds and accepted his confession"

 Is what Senpai said to Nakamura, Nakamura had no choice but to accept the fact that Senpai was my girlfriend. (YEH!!) There was nothing that Nakamura could ask more so, He left senpai alone on the rooftop and came back to class. He told me about this incident.

 Though I was happy when Nakamura told me about this incident later and when I realized, How openly she declared I was her boyfriend But still... I didn't understand why she'd fall for a guy like me.

 In any case, This is where my dairy end. I will continue on tomorrow and learn something new, then write it in this diary of mine

[End of Diary....]

It was a tragedy.

" The world has gone through so much that now it is crumbling beneath my beloved's weight alone. " She stood on the rooftop of a school. Speaking those words to herself. The ground started shaking from an earthquake- She looks beyond the fence of the rooftop, She sees a few tall buildings crumbling. She doesn't wish to harm any innocent people, thus she suppresses her emotions once again and the violent earthquake stops.

She puts a smile on her face, beneath that smile she hid her sorrow. On her smile, the world stands still and the one she loves, and to protect the one she loves, she smiles.

With that smile on her face, She extends her right arm in the air. An Images appears in front of her, Reminding her of her past. Tears from eyes would always fall on the ground whenever she watches herself in the image, killing the person she loved the most "On...Only If I could've acknowledged your will-- Only If I had done that, We would have been together forever. " She says, with a smile yet tears falling from her eyes.

 She was suffering...Yet, She was happy. Those were complicated emotions that she felt. The image that she uses to reminds herself of her past and what she has done, in that image- She stands in the middle of ruins of a city, holding a sword in her hand. On the other side of the sword's tip is the person she loves the most, the person she would've given her life for, without a second thought. She thrust her sword in that person's abdomen as the person who stands in front of her, give her a smile in return. The resolve she made to cut the person she loved the most, broke in pieces.

She saw his smile for her, in his last moment. The mere moment he had before she stripped him of his soul, he spent those moments to smile, for her

She started crying in agony "Why... Why you had to smile!!? " She shouts in the ruins but there was no one that could hear the cry, the only person that could hear and answer-- was Dead.

When She reminded herself of what she has done, She fell on her knees on the rooftop. She was almost about to cry and ready let her emotions be free, to mock the world of its trivial existence, to remind the world what she had sacrificed while trying to save it.

 "Hina-Senpai? What are you doing... No, I mean; Do you want to eat lunch with me? " But the world was saved by these words that she heard. When she heard those words, tears from eyes quickly disappeared along with the image which reminded her of her past.

She stands up on her two feet and replies to the person who had just saved the world without even knowing "Katsu...Katsuki-chan... I love you. " but these words are not the only that she wanted to speak---She wanted to apologize for she has done and she wanted to ask, Why'd you smile for someone like me?

Truth is hidden from him so, He couldn't answer but... Everyone who fell in love knows what his answer would've been to that question

He replies with his benevolent words to the person he loves the most "Eh...?? Wha... Uh Yea, I also love you. "

The past is something that cannot be changed in the real world but surely, in this world, The past is something that can re-written with a price and She paid that price, to live again with the person she loves the most.

 As she walks beside him, again. She swears 'This time, I will attain our Dreams of The Past. '

The Diary will resume---

; End of Chapter