A/N hey guys red here just want to say if this gets positive feedback then i'll turn this into a series :D also i wrote this before but internet f**ked up and.....well F**K
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Day 1
I was born......nothing else worth noting other than i'm a half elf and also I DON'T HAVE A GOD DAMNED MOUTH!!!
''What is this thing?'' (Father?)
''M'lord it seems to be a child'' (guard)
''I can see that but why is it here....wait a minute it's a half elf.....Oh gods that elf woman I had fun with must have gotten pregnant '' (Father)
''What should we do m'lord??'' (Guard)
''Throw it in the river and let it die'' (Father)
''Yes m'lord'' (Guard)
Hey wait a minute, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SH*T I WAS JUST BORN AND NOW I'M GOING TO DIE!!!?? BULLSH*T!!!
A/N the main character has a few anger problems
[the guard picks up the main character and walks up to a lake and drops him in there]
''Rest in peace little thing'' (Guard)
HEY YOU KNOW WHAT F*CK YOU MAN!!! IF I GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE YOU AND THAT OLD MAN ARE DEAD!!! YOU HEAR ME DEAD!!!
Day 2
Okay so i'm somehow still alive and that's a GOD DAMNED WOLF WAIT WHY DOES IT HAVE ME IN ITS MOUTH!!?
''hello there little one'' (Wolf?)
What the hell!!?
''.............'' (MC)
''oh I'm a wolf man if you're scared that's understandable but just so you know i won't eat you (wolf man)
Okay okay calm down just calm down JESUS CHRIST IT'S A F*CKING WOLF MAN!!!!
''.......'' (MC)
''wait...........you don't have a mouth......oh okay....makes sense that you didn't talk to me child.........hmmm what are you?'' (Wolf man)
Dude i'm a dude...
''oh you're a man good you can become a great warrior when you grow up hmmmmm I'll name you Ren'' (wolf man)
oh that's a cool name.........NOT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A CHICKS NAME DUDE WHAT THE F*CK!!!!?
''........'' (Ren)
[the wolf picks up ren and takes him into a small village where various demi-human races are]
Okay let's see Cat people, wolf people, lizard people, fish people, bird people, mole people....WAIT MOLE AND FISH PEOPLE!!!!??
(A/N just imagine a fish person like a reverse mermaid and a mole person like a midget with a mole face)
''this is your home now Ren'' (wolf man)
''HEY EVERYONE KOSUKA IS BACK!!!'' (random guy at the front gate)
''Oh hey Beru'' (Kosuka)
''so who's the kid?'' (Beru)
''i found this small one in the middle of a lake when i went hunting....he must be really lucky''(Kosuka)
Yes i am lucky like really F*cking lucky to be in a small crowded town with about 50 people? and like 20 huts yeah really lucky
[a fish woman comes running out of the village]
''A BABY!!!!'' (fish woman)
AAAAAAAAAAAH WHAT THE F*CK IS THAT THING KILL IT KILL IT WITH FIRE THEN CHOP IT UP THEN BURN IT AGAIN UNTIL IT'S JUST ASHES THEN BURY IT IN THE CENTER OF THE EARTH!!!!
''oh hey Lara'' (Beru)
''Oh hi honey'' (Lara)
THAT THING'S GOING OUT WITH THE GUARD!!!?? hold up if i look closely that's a cat man.......okay she'll be eaten soon enough just have to wait
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
''Oh Lara i found this half elf child in the lake it seems somebody wanted him to die'' (Kosuka)
''what irresponsible people'' (Beru)
''Kosuka you do know that we've always wanted a child and since we can't mate could you please give him to us?'' (Lara.........trying to seduce Kosuka but really failing)
''I'm sorry Lara but I have already decided to keep him as my own child and his name is Ren'' (Kosuka)
could you please stop calling me that girly name it's really GETTING ON MY F*CKING NERVES!!!
''oh okay we'll just wait until you find another child in the river heh'' (Beru)
hey he actually looks happy i guess that thing wanted me and he had no say in it........thank you weird luck
[The gate opens and Kosuka and Ren go inside the village]
''Okay Ren let's go inside and meet some people'' (Kosuka)
okay so this place smells like sh*t that's all oh and now it's night time and i've gotta sleep...
day 3
holy shit it smells way worse than before.......oh god if i could i'd puke about twenty times now
''morning son'' (Kosuka)
okay why the hell is he calling me son?
[Kosuka opens the door and smells the air]
''do you know what that smell is?'' (Kosuka)
Shit?
''freedom'' (Kosuka)
well if that's what it smells like i don't want to be free
''Morning Kosuka!'' (Lara)
OH GOD IT'S THAT THING AGAIN!!!
''Morning Lara'' (Kosuka)
why is he talking to that thing normally!!??
''while you're out would you mind if i look after Ren?'' (Lara)
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
''Sure okay Ren i'll be gone for about three hours be good'' (Kosuka)
You sir are A F*cking asshole
[Kosuka leaves the village holding an iron sword and a crossbow]
''So Ren do you want to play hide and seek?'' (Lara)
no
''okay i'm it go and hide now'' (Lara)
F*ck this shit i'm out
[Ren crawls out the door and tries to leave the village]
''oh Ren are you trying to find your father??!'' (Beru)
well sh*t
[Beru picks up Ren and brings him back to Kosuka's hut]
''OH GOD WHERE'S THE BABY!!!??'' (Lara)
oh my god that face looks GOD DAMN HIDEOUS DUDE GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!
''Lara Ren left the house i found him trying to find Kosuka'' (Beru)
''Oh thank gods that the baby's safe'' (Lara)
[Lara picks up ren]
stop holding me
[three hours of being bored later]
''Ren i'm home you okay son?'' (Kosuka)
No i'm not she held me the entire time i couldn't sleep.........i don't know how i'm alive since i can't eat
''oh hey Kosuka'' (Beru)
''hey Beru....where's ren'' (Kosuka)
''lara fell asleep holding him he looks terrified'' (Beru)
help me please HELP ME!!!
''wait Beru if you're here who's guarding the gates?'' (Kosuka)
''BANDITS!!!!'' (Random person)
''Oh sh*t'' (Kosuka)
''Oh sh*t'' (Beru)
Oh sh*t we're f*cked
*****END*****
Hey guys hope you liked it and like i said before if it does get positive reviews i'll make more :D