Sunday after church, Mama and Munch went to the hospital. The instant they walked through the doors, the antiseptic smells got to Munch. He really hated the smells. He didn’t know how Lolly could stand them. Walking down the long hall was weird. Every room contained someone who was not well. How could so many people be unwell. From some rooms came the sound of laughter. Odd how laughter could exist in the midst of pain, but it did. They reached Lolly’s room. For an instant Mama hesitated before she paused through the door. She took in a big breath, smiled and sailed inside. Munch followed. He was not prepared for what he saw. Lolly’s color wasn’t good, and the circles under her eyes had grown darker. The medication she was on made her look a bit dopey. He went to her and navigated his arms around her IV. Her arms went around him. His face touched the side of her face. He felt a tear slide down her cheek. For a long minute they just held onto each other and then she let him go. Munch took a step back. Lolly tried to smile, but she didn’t succeed. To Mama and her Pa she said, “I want to just talk to Munch.”

Mama said, “Oh, okay.” She started to reach for that man’s hand but stopped herself. The two of them walked out of the room. When the door closed behind them, Lolly let out a sigh.

Not sure what do to, Munch stood where he was. Lolly said, “Get up here with me please.”

Munch climbed into the bed beside her. She lay her head on his shoulder. Softly she said, “I’m having a hard time. My insides really hurt. The doctors think its colitis. I have to have a colonoscopy in the morning. They are gonna look at my insides. No one’s seen my insides. At least I will be put to sleep for it.” She snuggled a little closer and said, “Oh Munch, I’m scared. I haven’t been feeling so good for awhile and I didn’t tell anyone, not even you. I should have. If I had maybe I wouldn’t have ended up here. Why is it so hard for me to tell people I’m not okay?”

Gently he said, “Lollipop, you don’t want to be a bother, but for your own good you need to be. The people who love you want to know how you are.”

“I’ve made everyone worry, haven’t I?”

“That’s what people who love each other do. It’s okay. If I was sick right now wouldn’t you be worried?”

Against his shoulder she nodded her head. “There’s other stuff I’m struggling with. I feel bad because I’m not getting along with your mom right now. I always thought if only I had a mom like Mrs. Dutchendorph…I didn’t realize at all how hard it would be to make a family. I didn’t know I would feel such resentment and jealousy. I am so mad a Pa I can’t see straight and its not like he’s done anything wrong. Truth is I don’t like sharing him at all. I’m just so confused right now. I have all I ever dreamed of and yet I feel the way I feel. Why?”

Munch said, “I’ve felt all those things too. I still feel some of them. Just give yourself time, us time, our parents time. It is hard to make a family. And, dreams aren’t easy even when they do come true.”

“So true. Pa finally got in touch with my mom last night. Guess what, she’s pregnant and she expected us to be happy about it. How can we be happy about it? This baby won’t have Grandma Toady. What’s going to become of it?” Munch did not have an answer for this question. Truth was he didn’t even want to think about it. Lolly’s mom was pretty unreliable. Lolly continued, “Then there’s Trevor. How I have dreamed about having a boyfriend. Dreams are so much easier than reality. I’m really worried about us. If he were like Amber I’d have more faith in us, but he’s like his dad. He caves in every time his mom wants what she wants. I’m not what she wants.” Lolly started to cry. All Munch could do was hold her and let her cry. He didn’t have any words of wisdom or consolation. Sometimes life just sucked.

He waited for Lolly to stop crying before he asked, “When will you get out of here?”

With a sigh, Lolly said, “If all goes well with my colonoscopy I may get to go home tomorrow evening or Tuesday morning.” She started to cry again. Her tears seeped through his t-shirt. She wasn’t sobbing or even making any noise. The silence of her sorrow hurt his heart. He wanted to make everything all better for her but he didn’t have the power. Instinctively he knew, what she needed most from him right now was what he was giving her, his time and his attention. He would tell her about Thahn Ho when she was feeling better.

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Lolly’s medication kicked in and she fell so sound asleep she was drooling. Munch loved her a lot, but not enough to be drooled on. Carefully, he extricated himself from her grasp. She let out a soft sigh and rolled away from him. Before he left, he gave her a kiss on the forehead. Quietly, he opened and closed the door.

In the hall he made his way for what he hoped was the waiting room. He got lost once, but a nurse directed him to the right hall. In the distance he saw that man staring out a window. He was such a slight man, so tall, thin and lanky. Munch saw his hand tremble. Mama was no where in sight. Though he didn’t want to, Munch made his way to that man. He was so absorbed in his own thoughts he didn’t even hear Munch’s approach. He cleared his throat. That man turned and looked at him. He asked, “Is Lolly okay? Does she need something?”

“She’s asleep.”

Relief shown in that man’s eyes. He said, “Good. She needs lots of sleep so she can get her strength back.I never would have left her Thursday nightif I had known how sick she was. I’ve been kicking myself for not realizing she wasn’t herself.”

The remorse in that man’s eyes was clearly visible. Munch actually felt bad for him. He said, “We can’t know what Lolly didn’t tell us. She knows she should have told us.”

That man nodded, but it was clear he still blamed himself.

Feeling uncomfortable, Munch looked around the waiting room for his mama. She wasn’t there. He asked, “Where’s Mama?”

“She had a tummy ache and went home.”

“Oh. How will I get home?”

“I’ll take you.”

Oh great. It took thirty minutes to get home. Thirty minutes of having to be alone with that man making awkward conversation. It would be torture. Usually, Munch managed to avoid ALL alone time with that man, but not today. Today he was extraordinarily lucky.

That man said, “I best get back to Lolly.”

Munch didn’t follow. He remained where he was and stared out the window.

After awhile Grandma Toady’s truck appeared. She parked it. As usual she was loaded down with bags of goodies and her quilting supplies. Munch watched her make her way to the doors. She looked tired. Worry had deepened the lines on her face. She came through the door and saw Munch. Her face brightened in a smile. “Hey there handsome, care to give an old lady a hand?”

Munch never thought of Grandma Toady as an old lady. He told her, “I don’t see no old lady.” Her smile brightened. He took her bags from her and they walked down the hall.

Inside her room, Lolly was still sleeping. Quietly, Grandma Toady took the bags away from Munch and put them on the chest of drawers. Without a word, she hugged her son and motioned for him to leave. Munch could tell he didn’t want to leave yet. Grandma Toady wrinkled her nose and whispered, “Son, your’e starting to smell. You going home to shower would do us all good.”

“Okay Ma.” He motioned to Munch and they stepped out into the hall. Together they walked out of the hospital and into the parking lot. As soon as they reached that man’s truck, he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. Munch hated the smell of cigarettes. His daddy had smoked a pipe sometimes. Cherry tobacco smelled good. That man’s hand trembled as he tried to light his cigarette. It took a couple flicks before he got the dang thing lit. As soon as it was, he took in a long draw of smoke and then slowly breathed it out. Munch said nothing. He turned and looked at the trees that lined the entrance to the hospital. There was a blue jay on a branch making a terrible racket.

Once that man, had finished his cigarette, he unlocked the truck door for Munch. Munch climbed inside. That man circled the truck once before he climbed into the cab. He said, “One of my tires is low. We’ll have to make a stop on the way home.”

Great. Munch nodded. The last thing he wanted to do was prolong his time with that man.

The engine started and they were off. That man put his Eagles eight track tape into his eight track player. Munch was not a fan of the Eagles. He turned his face toward the window. Trees, fields, cows, passed by in a blur. To his relief that man didn’t try to have a conversation with him. From time to time, Munch cast a sideways glance at Trace Phelps. His hands were gripped hard on the steering wheel. It was obvious he was sleep deprived. Deep lines were etched in his forehead from worry. Poor guy. In that instant Munch realized he didn’t harbor any ill will toward that man. He just felt bad for him. He didn’t know if the ill will was gone or just on vacation, but to be free of that raw bitterness made him feel lighter. How long was he going to carry this grudge anyway?

The stopped at the gas station. That man asked, “You ever put air in a tire?”

“No.”

“Well, its time you learned.”

Reluctantly, Munch climbed out of the truck and followed that man to the air hose. That man held up a silver thing. “This is an air pressure gauge. Check first to see what the air pressure is.” He put the gauge into the thingy that stuck out in the tire. “The air pressure is low.” Next he took the hose and handed it to Munch. “Stick it there and put in soft burst of air.” Munch did as he was told. The soft his of air flow could be heard. “Okay.” That man handed his the gauge. Check it. If the number is too high let some air out, if its too low, put more in.”

Munch checked. To his surprise the number was just right. He had done it in his first try.

That man patted his shoulder and said, “Good job.”

His compliment pleased Munch in a way that was unexpected.

That man stood and said, “Well, let’s head home.”