Thursday afternoon, Lolly was practically bouncing up and down on the bus seat. Mr. Long was still among the living and had made some small improvements. And more importantly for Lolly , her pa was at the house. It was the first time she had been happily excited about anything in almost a week. Munch for his part was taking in deep breaths. He knew his mama and THAT MAN probably already did the deed. It was just so gross. God, he was NEVER going to survive this week. NEVER. Honestly all he knew about sex had been gleaned from the dirty magazine’s Max had stolen from his dad. Mama had not had any talk with him about anything because until now, he had never liked a girl enough to distract him from his art. For reasons he did not quite understand, Thanh Ho had captured his attention completely, but she wasn’t a distraction. Some how she made him more aware of his own art and his own creative process. He always thought of girls in terms of what he could make for them to wear. Now, he wondered what it would be like to hold Thahn Ho in his arms. How would it feel to kiss her? Would he ever get to kiss her? This terrible longing swept through him. Was this what falling in love felt like? Was he falling in love with a girl he hadn’t even kissed or been out with? How was that possible? He didn’t know. He only knew it was true.
As the bus neared the house, Munch caught a glimpse of THAT MAN’s truck. Inwardly, he recoiled. Lolly was so happy she was practically shedding light. The bus stopped. Okay, it was game time. Munch put on the best face he had and stepped into the bus aisle. He could feel Lolly’s eagerness to get off the bus. Though he was really trying, his feet were reluctant participants in his journey to the bus door. The instant he was out the door, Lolly darted passed him and ran all the way to the house.
The door to the house banged opened and closed. Munch let out a slow breath. Okay, he could do this, for Lolly he could do this. Finally he reached the front door and walked inside. He was met by such a wave of happiness. Mama was glowing. Glowing, at her age! Lolly had her arms around her pa’s waist and was talking so fast she didn’t seem to be breathing. Her pa glanced in Munch’s direction. He gave Munch a tentative smile.
Inside Munch’s head, the words, Show time, echoed. With effort he returned the smile. It was not real or genuine and maybe THAT MAN knew it, but it was the best he could do.
THAT MAN asked, “How’s it going Munch?”
How was it going? Did he really want to know? It took everything he had not to pull a face. “Uh, okay. And you?” Munch could feel the struggle going on inside of Lolly’s pa. It was as if his eyes wanted to dart in Mama’s direction but he had to focus to keep them from doing so.
He said, “Good.” And left it at that.
Of course he was good! By the look on Lolly and Mama’s faces a body would think Jesus was visibly standing in the room with them. All the good vibes were bouncing off Munch and just making him feel angry and very alone. He was not part of this happy reunion. His resolve was melting. He was failing, and failing fast. Truth was, despite his spectacular imagination, he just couldn’t keep his pretend button pressed down. He needed to get out of this room and get out fast. He said, “I got homework,” and dashed up the stairs. Lame, so lame. He was embarrassed he had bailed so soon. All his good intentions had come to naught. Besides, what did it matter? Lolly didn’t even know he was in the room. If Mr. Long hadn’t gotten sick he never would have attempted this farce…oh yeah what a little chicken he was, blaming his cowardice on a sick and possibly dying man. But, hell he wanted to blame someone, anyone. He wasn’t any good at hiding his true feelings. He never had been. Why in the hell had he thought he could do it today?
He flipped through his record albums and pulled out Etta James. Nope, he couldn’t listen to her. If he did both Mama and Lolly would know he was in a mood. Right now they were so happily oblivious, he wasn’t so selfish that he would ruin their evening by pitching a fit like he was three, though he really wanted to pitch a fit. No, even if he was NOT happy at this moment. Lolly was, and he wouldn’t spoil that for her. She had had a very hard week. He needed to calm down. He put on Nat King Cole’s album, The Very Thought of You and pulled out his sketch book. His art could always take him to another place and he desperately wanted to be in another place now. He didn’t think, he just started drawing, long swirls. The swirls turned into flowers and stars as Nat King Cole sang:
I see your face in every flower
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Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you
My love… *
When he looked at his drawing he saw the vaguest outline of eyes. Thahn Ho’s eyes. Art was strange like that. Sometimes it pulled stuff out of him and he didn’t even realize it until he finished a drawing or a sketch. He began to high light the eyes in the drawing. Slowly, Thahn Ho’s eyes became distinct on the page. How he missed her. She would be out of school for one more week. Would she call him again? He hoped so, he really hoped so.
*
Grandma Toady came over for supper. She brought fresh baked bread. Usually just the smell of Grandma Toady’s bread made Munch’s mouth water. This evening as he sat at the table trying to eat, he was having a hard time just swallowing his food. All around him happy chatter filled the air. The three females were beyond happy that their beloved was home for the week. Munch felt like he was sitting on an isolated island of misery. He managed to answer questions when asked, but that was all he could manage. To his relief, for the most part, no one tried too hard to draw him into the conversation.
When the meal was over, Grandma Toady said her good byes. She reached out and gave Munch a hug. In his ear she whispered, “You are doing so good. Hang in there.”
He nodded. He didn’t feel like he was doing so good.
Lolly and her pa went into the living room to watch TV. Mama and Munch weren’t into TV. Mama washed the dishes and he dried. When they finished he was sure Mama would join Lolly and THAT MAN in the living room, only she didn’t. She said, “Let’s go on up to the studio. I think Lolly really needs to spend some time alone with her dad.”
Grateful he said, “Sure.”
For two solid hours, Munch and his mama worked in silence. Mama was putting the finishing touches on an illustration of a barn owl while Munch worked on a series of sketches for his next painting. Downstairs the sound of the television clicked off. Mama glanced at the clock. It was almost 10:00. “Lolly must be leaving, let’s go down and tell her bye.”
“Okay.”
When Munch and Mama got downstairs, Lolly looked nervous. Her pa gave her a look of encouragement. Her voice trembled when she asked, “Estelle, would it be okay if I stayed here while Pa’s home?”
“Of course honey. The couch folds out.”
“Thanks.” Lolly looked like she was about to cry.
THAT MAN looked really worried. He mouthed the word, Help! to Mama.
Mama said, “Lolly you are welcome to stay anytime and every time your Pa's in town. Would you like to have a bed here? We can pick one out this weekend.”
Lolly asked, “Where would you put it?”
“Believe it or not, there is space in the studio. Michael will just have to organize his fabric.”
Lolly asked, “Munch, will you do that for me?”
“Sure.” Of course he would, but he did have an ulterior motive. If Lolly was in the house the next seven days, chances were she would call Thanh Ho and if she did, maybe he would get to talk to her too. Somehow the week just got a tiny bit brighter.
“Thank you.” Lolly still looked upset. She said, “I have one more question. If you say no, I will accept it, but I really am hoping you will say yes." Once again, the quaver came back inot her voice as she asked,"Would it be all right Fluff stays here too?”
Mama was not a fan of cats in general, but she said, “Of course Honey. You go on and get your things. While you're gone I'll make up the couch for you."
"Okay, thanks." She asked, “Pa will you come with me?”
“Sure thing Shortcake.”
*
Lights were out. It was late. Munch couldn’t sleep and he suspected Lolly might not be sleeping either. Quietly he left his room to check on her. With flashlight in hand, she was reading a book titled, Tears are for the Living. It was super fat and she was more than half way through. He didn’t know why she liked to read so much, but she did. He asked, “Can’t sleep?”
“No.”
“Do you want some company?”
She nodded. A couple silent seconds passed before she said, “I know you don’t want Pa here, but I wish he was here all the time.” She started crying.
He couldn’t deny what she said. Softly he said, “You’re right, but I do get it.” He sat down in the chair beside the fold out couch.
“You do?”
“Of course I know you love TH-- er, um your pa. It’s only natural you would want him home.”
“You aren’t mad at me?”
“No, of course not.”
“It's just everything that's going on with Trevor's dad has me really scared. I know Pa's not old, but....”
Munch finished the sentence for her, "But, he's the only Pa you have."
“Yes. Thanks for understanding. You're the best.”
Munch gave her a smile and said, “On that I will agree.”
She stuck her tongue out at him and wriggled down beneath the covers. “I think I might be able to sleep now. Thanks for checking on me.”
“You are welcome.” Buried beneath the blankets, Fluff began to snore. He didn’t sound like a cat he sounded like a pig, a big fat pig. Munch asked, “Will Fluff be staying here every time you stay here?”
She smirked at him and asked, “What do you think?”
“He will be.” Cat hair was going to be everywhere. Tomorrow he would tell Mama to buy a heavy duty roller brush when she went to the grocery store. When Munch got up to leave, he said, “Night Sis.”
“Night Bro.” She pointed the flashlight in the direction of his door. He followed the beam of light.