The world is teeming with strange and inexplicable events. Many of these events are simply too complex to be understood by anything other than an omniscient being. Others simply make no sense because the universe in general makes no sense. But every so often, an event will unfold that could be completely understood but for the lack of one important fact. This is the story of just such an event. The story begins, harmlessly enough, with a nurse named Linda.

Linda was traveling home from the red-eye shift at the hospital. She frowned at the sun as it emerged from the horizon to her left. The light from the sun was strobing between the trees while she drove, making her feel even worse than she already did.

She was tired, overly caffeinated, and her body felt like it was humming slightly, which was its way of signaling that if it did not get some rest soon then it was going to shut down on its own accord — possibly for good. She was therefore fortunate to live only a few blocks from the hospital.

She pulled into her parking spot and forced her somewhat bulky body to make the journey from the car, up the stairs, and into her apartment. Being of a caring and considerate nature, Linda opened her door as quietly as she could and closed it behind her gently, as to not disturb the neighbors. Before she turned on the lights, and before she could even know why, she froze in terror. The animal part of her brain was screaming at her: SOMETHING IS WRONG!

She froze dead still while the more cognitive part of her brain, now fueled by both caffeine and adrenaline, began to rapidly assess her surroundings. She quickly came to this conclusion: she was not alone in the apartment.

She struggled to keep her breathing quiet, and dared not take any steps for fear that the squeaky hardwood floor would give her away. She closed her eyes and concentrated; she could hear mumbling coming from the other side of the house.

Two alternate futures flicked across the movie screen of her imagination. She pictured herself bravely investigating the noise, only to have the squeaky floor give her away just before the lurking madman raped and stabbed her. Then she pictured herself quickly but quietly fleeing the apartment and calling the police from the safety of her locked Volvo, and she liked that scenario much better.

But as she turned around to make for the door, she heard what the lurking madman was saying, and it complicated her decision. If she heard him correctly, it sounded like he was saying, “I don’t know where I am. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know where I am.” He also sounded like he was sobbing, which made the nurse part of her brain want to give the idea of investigation another chance.

Against her better judgment, she stealthily made her way across the living room and then cautiously poked her head around the corner.

In the bathroom at the end of the hall, the light from the new dawn illuminated the figure of a man who was sitting on the floor and hugging his legs as he continuously muttered, “I don’t know where I am…” The man was dressed in sweatpants, a t-shirt, and socks with no shoes.

He was in front of the bathroom vanity, which was open. He was also surrounded by the former contents of the vanity, which were now scattered around the bathroom as if he had been hurriedly digging them out while looking for something.

As Linda studied the man, she saw that he was bleeding badly from the back of his head. Her inner nurse beckoned her to rise to the occasion and help this man, but a more rational part of her forced her to go back outside and call the police and ambulance first. After she did this, she stiffened her resolve and entered the apartment once again. She left the door open for the police, and also to facilitate a hasty retreat if things got ugly.

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As she entered her apartment, she made a little more noise in the hopes of giving this strange man some advanced notice of her arrival. She walked casually across the living room, cautiously rounded the corner, and bravely entered the hallway.

To her surprise, the man seemed oblivious to her entrance. He was still hugging his legs, rocking slightly, and muttering. Linda was about fifteen feet away from him, which was as close as she dared to go. She cleared her throat. No reaction. She tried it again. Nothing. Finally she called out (perhaps a little too loudly), “Hello?”

The man flinched, looked at her in panic, and then tried to scrabble under the sink. To her surprise, he actually fit inside the vanity. The man shook like a frightened puppy and whimpered, “Please help me. I don’t know where I am.”

Clearly he was not a threat, so Linda slowly made her way to the bathroom, all the while giving the man her assurance that she was a nurse and was there to help him. She pushed aside a few shampoo bottles that were in her way and sat down next to him. She gently touched his arm and told him the age-old lie: everything is going to be OK. With a little more friendly reassurance, she convinced him to come out from under the sink so that she could examine his injury.

The man would not leave the perceived safety of the bathroom, so she had him sit on the toilet as she worked. While she was disinfecting his wound, she tried to get some idea as to what the heck he was doing in her apartment. She started with a simple introduction. “I’m Linda. What is your name?”

The man squinted and touched his head. “Sssss. Ss. Sussss…”

“Sam?” suggested Linda.

The man looked pained and offered her a faint shrug. “I’m sorry,” he said slowly. “I seem to have forgotten. Where am I?”

“In my bathroom,” she explained.

The man glanced around. “I see. Why am I here?”

Linda let out a short laugh, more out of exasperation than humor. “That’s what I want to know. How did you get in here?”

The man squinted and held his head in pain again. After a moment, he looked at her with hopeless resignation. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. I really don’t know. If I try to remember anything, I get a stabbing pain in my head. I’m so tired. I just want to sleep.”

“No, no, no!” insisted Linda, loud enough to make the man jump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, but you mustn’t sleep. You have a head injury and signs of a concussion. An ambulance is on the way to take you to the hospital. In the mean time, just keep talking to me, OK?”

The man nodded his head. “OK, but then what’s going to happen to me? I don’t know where I live.” He exhaled dejectedly. “I don’t even know who I am.” His eyes started to tear.

Linda rubbed his shoulder. “Don’t worry. They are taking you to the hospital where I work. I’ll be there later this evening to check on you. I’m sure you will get your memory back soon, and everything will work out just fine.”

“And if I don’t get my memory back?” asked the man.

Linda continued to rub his shoulder. “Well, we’ll worry about that if it happens. I’ll help you out as much as I can.”

“Linda,” said the man softly, “just… thanks. You’re being so good about this. You’re a really great person. I’m sorry about this. I…” he sighed, “I… I’m just lost right now.”

Linda smiled and was about to give the man a hug when the police called out from the living room and scared them both. The man quickly bent over and started to rock back and forth while muttering, “We don’t like the noise, do we? We don’t like the noise. We don’t like the noise.”