Hey there stranger, nice to meet ya', I'm Xavier Riddle. Xavier 'cause I like it, and Riddle 'cause my mind's a mess. Now let me tell you a story, take you on a wild ride. An adventure of such proportion that none shall ever equal it under this sky nor surpass it within this Universe. This is the story of how I stepped Beyond and how I spread my grin across the cosmos. Excited yet? Well, you should be. And I mean that, now follow me and witness the rise of me, the great, the awesome, Xavier Riddle, King of Madness and All Things Fun.
Now Curtain! LIGHTS & ACTION!!!!!
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Xavier was having a wonderful dream about a cinema filled with magic and adventure. Seriously, this is the kind of dream you never want to wake up from. So is it any sort of surprise that when at the end of this dream, in the realm between sleep and awakening when he was asked if he wanted to stay for a while longer he said... "No."
"You see, I've got a family back home and a drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend waiting for me on the other side and as much fun as a dream can be, you can't beat the real thing they call my life."
"Fair enough" responded the voice who quickly condensed into Uncle Sam the Veteran, who followed on with, "I'd make a similar choice myself, but you're out of luck buddy, I just got the order for your conscription."
"UNCLE SAM WANTS YOU!" boomed Uncle Sam, who turned into a poster and flashed out of existence in a flare of light.
Followed by a different voice booming, "Welcome to Movie Central!"
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Xavier woke up.
Then he blinked.
Then blinked again.
This wasn't his comfy bed.
But it screamed all sorts of fun to him.
"OHHHHHHHH BABY!!! it is good to be FREE!" screamed Xavier sporting what could only be described as a psychopathic grin into the cinema, "No more boring job, no more boring co-workers, no more boring life!"
Suddenly his face changed looking contemplative, "But I will miss my beautiful, soft, curvy, warm and fun to spend the night with... bed. Oh, and also my girlfriend but MAN was that bed comfortable. Anywhom, if I ever get out of here I'm sure the nice, glowing people will supply me with a new girlfriend and help me find my bed... Or is that the other way around? Either way that sounds like a Future Xavier problem." spoke Xavier... to himself.
"So where am I, and who is this glowing, ghostly version of myself in nothing but his Cheshire cat boxers and a leather beanie?" Xavier asked himself, aloud.
"Excellent question me!" replied Ghost Xavier, "You see, remember that guy in your, my... our dream? Yeah, he was real. And we got kidnapped. By a magical, multiversal, non-copyright-infringing magic cinema."
"Yeah, I'd kind of already figured that out, I mean it is kind of obvious what happened. But please continue, Mister Magical, Ghost Me," replied Non-Ghost Xavier with a flourish of his hands. "Anytime now," he said with more than a hint of amusement creeping into his voice.
"I figured as much, we are... we, me? Doesn't matter, point is that we are the same me, so I get you." joked back Ghost-X.
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"We are after all Kings of Madness, it would not be becoming to act otherwise," pronounced the two with eerily accurate fake British accents in harmony before bursting into laughter at finally meeting someone who really saw things the way they did.
"Anyway," followed on Ghost-X, "A bunch of guys calling themselves Enforcers came by this way earlier and Luca was with them, they looked pretty mean and were carrying weapons of some sorts so I used my ghostly magic to send them the other way and hide you from sight."
"We have ghost magic?" inquired Xavier.
"Not we, I have ghost magic," replied G-X, "AND STOP SHRINKING MY NAME," Ghost Xavier continued.
"Who if not we, could control powers of the mind upon getting them?", gloated Ghost X, "I just felt they were there and by the time our buddy Luca showed his smile I mastered them. You should pick some up after we fuse. You'll also get this nifty beanie I woke up with. Oh by the way you know I look like you plus the beanie and you are in your 'pyjamas’ right?"
"True, true, true but I don't particularly care."
"Wait did you say fuse?"
"You'll get some memories too, have fun and always keep grinning!"
WAAHH!
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"Last time, in Movie Central," boomed the narrator.
"WAAAAH!"…
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"Huh, that didn't actually hurt. Wha’d’ya know?" exclaimed Fused Xavier to... himself again.
"Let's see what we've got in here... Alright, there's 2 hours of eating floor popcorn, Basic Mind Tricks 101 by Ghost Xavier, knock-off sci-fi soldiers marching past with Luca, bad poetry and when I say bad I mean jeez I hope nobody reads that ever, seems that apparently if I find more Ghost mes... me's, mes’s? What's the plural for me? Anyhow, if I find more Ghost-X's I get more stylish black, possibly leather clothing that gives me magical powers specially attuned to myself and apparently, this beanie is a Mind Piece hence the Mind Tricks. Right. Well this place is a cinema, maybe they have a gift store selling socks, my feet are freezing. Thus, my journey begins!" and with that dramatic conclusion to his rambling, Xavier started to moonwalk around looking for a gift shop.
....
"Nope."
...
...
"Not here.'
...
...
...
"This one's locked and seems kind of dark and creepy. Shame it's closed. Real shame that is."
...
"This is getting boring, I think that I'm gonna go watch a movie now. This is after all supposedly Movie Central, they ought to at least have a blockbuster running, right?"
BLAMMO!
"Well at least the sound effects are original." loudly thought a bemused Xavier.
WASHAKKABLOM!
"Nailed it," continued Xavier.
EXPEALABOSHKAM!
"Really, now that's just a bit extreme, now isn't it?" chuckled Xavier, oh and for the grand finale...
"AND FOR MY GRAND FINALE... BOOF!" shouted the third of the loud voices Xavier had been hearing recently.
"Huh, I was only sort of expecting that," finished the still bemused Xavier.
"I, Bob am the almighty BOB! An all-powerful INTERN at your service!" shouted Bob appearing in another flash of light.
"Hey Bob, didn't know you could intern at a cinema, sounds kinda fun..." said Xavier drifting off into his thoughts, only to be startled back into consciousness by a burning question, "But anyways, what do you recommend watching 'round here?"
"I, BOB am here to answer your questions and inform you of your general situation! shouted Bob seemingly ignoring Xavier and continuing on his pre-planned speech.
"THAT IS ALL!" finished Bob, "HAVE YOU ANY QUESTIONS MORTAL!"
"Where's the popcorn stall? I think my movie's starting soon," queried Xavier to the dumbstruck face of Bob.