Heya!

Thank you for reading this!

basically this is my first story that should be a bit longer than one page and im just uploading this here to get some

kind of review.

anyways, i have currently only this and a second chapter written, but i do have an idea how to let the story go on.

please keep in mind that i am not a native english speaker, but i very much appreciate any comments, be it criticism or anything else. I have to add though, that i dont know yet how to make tables, so there arent any included (for now)...

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Chapter 1

Black darkness enshrouded her after she had put on the helmet and pushed the power button on. A few Seconds later she stood on a semi transparent platform and while looking around she noticed that she could see and move her body as she pleased.

'I wonder what kind of material this is'

She thought and sat down while patting on the strange texture of the platform. After she made herself comfortable,

a girl which looked as if she was about her age appeared and greeted her while giggling:

"Hiya there, how are you? I'm Ricky, the A.I which will be helping you through your character creation."

She starter jumping up and down excitedly.

"If you have any questions, just ask me okay?"

The girl just nodded feeling too overwhelmed by the liveliness of a mere code of numbers. She continued her explanation and seemed pretty exited,and asked me what race The girl wanted to be. She explained:

"Currently you can choose from 6 unlocked races who all are living on the central continent Láhoren :

The Fétheren, a plantlike race which lives in unity with nature and which is able to fly.

They are a very peaceful race and live in isolation from the other races.

 They are rarely seen outside of their races' country, and if seen, almost always admired for being so beautiful and kind.

 It is unknown how many Fétheren are living nowadays.They gain extra vitality and nature affinity, but have lower stats than the other races at the start! Also, because of their affinity with nature they will start in a completely random place, which is inhibited by nature !

the Gondørrer, dwarvenlike creatures who live in caves in the biggest mountain range of láhoren.

They are especially gifted crafters who supply the whole continent with their weapons and armour.

It is unknown how many gondørrer are living nowadays, because they mostly don't leave their homes.*they gain extra strength and an affinity for metalworking but they have lower intelligence and wisdom*

the Humæs , a race which has lived on this continent for millions and years,

 which has established a great empire with mercenary routes all over láhoren to supply every corner of the continent with the good weapons of the dwarfs or the beautiful necklaces and earrings of the Fétheren.

They are the ones who inhibit the whole continent with their sheer numbers.they don't get any bonuses and have normal numbers for every stat

The Centaurus, a wandering race of nomads who travel all around the continent with a body of horse and man while presenting their collected goods wherever they go.

They are labeled as a race which has no home and is always in search for a place for them to live and settle down.

They are very small in number.they get extra stamina and have a survival skill, but they have no magic ability

the playful Tarhí, a sub-race of humans who can speak with animals and live in small communities in the woods

They have very good bonds with the creatures of the woods and can share their thoughts and emotions with them.

They are very playful and always do unreasonable things, so they normally aren't included in discussions between the representatives of the six races.

They have traits similar to those of a humæ and live in human cities as well as in the woods.They have an affinity towards animals and receive a taming skill when they start,

but they can't learn any skills or professions which are used against animals (  archery skills, hunting professions and so on...)

the Thalyà, a race of small beings who are often called 'pixies' .

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

They are half spirits so they excel at Magic and sorcery.

They are often hunted because humæs discovered that they could be used to make really good health potions,

so currently there are very few Thalyà in láhoren.They receive a stat bonus for agility because they are so small and are good at spirit magic,

but they live in constant fear of being caught.

NPCs will try to capture them the moment they realise who they are

"And that's it! Have you decided yet? If you want I can show how you'd look in every race..."

"Uhh, I think... "

"What? You don't know what to choose?"

"C-can you show me how I'd look as a Fétheren and as humæ ?"

"Of course. Here you go!"

Ricky swiped a few times trough the air and two girls appeared In front of her. One was just like her, obviously a humæ, the other one had light green plantlike skin and a Slender build with light blue wings that were gently folded behind the back of the being that looked so much like her. She was much more beautiful and mesmerising than her humæ self which had the same build, but standing next to the Fétheren, it just looked boring and colourless. It had the same brown eyes and the also brown ponytail that went down onto her shoulders.

The Fétheren had rose coloured bangs and some blue-ish aspects and it was curled, so that the strands ended up a bit under her shoulder. Her eyes were coloured in a dark blue and the body of the 15 year-old girl was just like in reality. A pretty waistline, but not many curves. While she was looking at the two avatars, Ricky had continued to talk about something without noticing that she didn't listen anymore.

"And that's why...

Hey, you aren't even listening anymore!"

"Oh, I,I'm s-sorry! I was just to surprised how beautiful that avatar was... Could I please look like that?"

"So you want to be a Fétheren then.ok, wait a moment I'll make you look even better!"

"Wha- what? What do you mean even better? Isn't this way too much already?"

"No resisting please, you are just so cute, it would be a shame not to do this!"

Ricky said while playing around with the settings of her character while the girl tried to persuade the A.I to just let her go.

' I mean, isn't it really uncomfortable to have everybody looking at you? ' the now helpless girl thought.

When she finished and let her see the results, she was flabbergasted because of how different she looked.

The person in front of her was slender like herself and had the same long hair which fell down to her shoulders , but her hair was a pastel tone of pink and light blue shades. She had light green skin , that looked like somebody had glued big leaves onto her whole body, but in a nice and natural way.Her face looked like the girl's, but more refined. She had long pink-blue-ish lashes and brows which surrounded a small nose and deep blue eyes with green sparks. And finally, behind her back one could see a pair of really beautiful blue wings with a green shine and golden ornaments at the small ends.

"This... So beautiful... "

She couldn't even talk and was happy to be able to play with such a wonderful character.

"So you like it? That's great then!"

She could just nod in agreement.

"Okay, we took pretty long at your character, so could you please tell me your name?"

The girl stared at her, unwilling to tell her her real name and wasn't sure how to react so ricky sighed and explained to her:

" I mean your in game name, dummy!"

Ricky laughed as the now confused girl realised what she wanted.

"Umm.. Please make it Falyora."

"Gotcha, that shall be your new name. So normally I would now tell you some things about this continent and the cities where you can start, but because you are a Fétheren you will start somewhere completely random."

' Eh? Wait, I didn't know that! '

Her face displayed what She thought so the A.I said:

"Relax, it isn't completely random.

I'll send you somewhere close to a friend of mine,ok?"

Falyora nodded, She never was good with words and always had problems talking to people She didn't know very good, but she hoped to change this by talking to the npc's Who she was very inclined to meet.

" Then let your adventure in this word begin.

may you find what you search and who you want to be."

With these words she pushed the girl back and She fell down somewhere.

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sooo, if you enjoyed this chapter, please comment or point out my mistakes [th_059_.gif]