A new beautiful day in this shitty line of work.

Today started out pretty normal. If you can call being woken up at six in the morning by an angry, nagging bitch normal, that is. Turns out Sandra needed my help once more. It was to set up all the new tech and to sort through all the new equipment she’d ordered. Within a couple of hours, she’d transformed our new apartment’s barren living room into a nerd’s wet dream. She’d set up a server, two state-of-the-art PCs, and a giant row of monitors. This would allow her to analyze massive amounts of data and any signature we’d stumble upon. Why we needed all that shit? I’ve got no clue. Even worse, I didn’t get to play with those shiny new toys, of course. No, I was tasked with sorting through and storing away all the fancy new gadgets, equipment, books, tools and, god knows what else she’d gotten delivered.

I’d just put away another box full of flasks containing a strange purplish liquid when Sandra called out to me.

“Exterminator 7D11087, we’ve got a new signature. It’s a C-class, beast type. Get ready, we’re leaving ASAP.”

I walked up to her and had a look at the monitors. They showed a map of the city and I saw the signature was located near the outskirts in an industrial area. Nothing was there except factories and warehouses.

“We’ve got ourselves a beast type there?”

She hit a few keys and zoomed in on a patch of forest to the east of the industrial area.

“It’s likely that a forest animal got exposed to some external influences and mutated,” Sandra explained.

“Is it moving? Has it attacked anyone yet?”

“I can’t get any detailed information on the creature, so I assume it must hide somewhere. Most likely underground. However, that might not be the case much longer.”

I nodded and went to get ready. Ten minutes later, we were on our merry way.

The moment we’d made it to the area, Sandra stopped me.

“All right, Exterminator 7D11087, this time I don’t want to see any unnecessary actions. You’ll follow my orders and we’ll do things by the book, understood?”

“Sure thing,” I answered

As I looked at her, though, I saw once more that she wasn’t carrying any weapons. Hell, she wasn’t carrying any equipment at all. This time, however, I knew better than to say anything.

“Good. Once we make contact, you’re on standby. Today, I’m going to handle the extermination. It’s simpler and more efficient that way, considering your lack of... finesse.”

When I heard that, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut any longer.

“All right, lady, and how the hell are you going to do that? You’re not even carrying any weapons!”

“As I told you before, I know how to handle myself,” she said, giving me the slightest hint of a smug smile.

I was about to go on, but seeing her expression, I didn’t care anymore. If the bitch wanted to get herself killed, so be it.

“Let’s scout the area. The signature indicates the creature is somewhere near the northern edge of the factory grounds. No sudden actions or anything. We’re just two normal civilians.”

“You want me to hold your hand? Maybe we could pretend to be a couple. Might work better than just-?”

The angry glare she threw my way made me drop the subject, but I couldn’t help but grin a little to myself. As we made our way past the factory grounds, Sandra’s eyes were glued to one of her new shiny scanners. We were getting closer, but so far, we saw nothing resembling a hiding place.

“As I assumed, the signature indicates that the creature’s hiding underground, most likely in an old maintenance tunnel or an underground parking lot.”

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s take care of the fucker.”

Sandra sighed.

“Since I’m in charge, we won’t do anything reckless like that.”

“What do you suggest we do, then?”

“We’re going to cause a distraction that will get everyone out of the area. Once that’s done, we’re going to lure the creature to this abandoned warehouse nearby.”

With that, she held up her scanner and pointed to a location to the north of the factory grounds. I listened, but I couldn’t help but be annoyed by her up-stuck attitude.

“Sure thing. What sort of distraction do you have in mind? You want me to walk up to people and-?”

“We’ll raise the fire alarm. That way, we’ll get everyone to evacuate the area for the time being. You’ll be in charge of that. In the meantime, I’ll confirm the creature’s current location.”

“Jesus Christ, why do you have to make everything so goddamn complicated? Can’t we just go and-?”

“Exterminator 7D11087,” she cut me off. “You’ve caused enough trouble over the past month alone. My analysis of your work shows you’re prone to anger issues, use excessive firepower and cause unnecessary damage to both your surroundings and Headquarters equipment. Your general cost of operation exceeds that of other, more professional exterminators by-“

“All right, fuck, I get it! So I hit the fucking fire alarm and you go find the creature, is that it?”

She stared at me in annoyance before she nodded, but handed me another one of her shiny little gadgets.

“A jammer. They are bound to have security cameras. Use it before you enter the premises. We can’t risk having your activities being recorded.”

I shrugged and pocketed it.

“Well then, guess I have a fire alarm to raise,” I said in an over-the-top upbeat voice and went on my way.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

God, I hated this woman.

Sneaking into the factory was child’s play. You might not believe me, given my latest series of misadventures, but I’m not half bad when it comes to getting into places I’m not supposed to be at. Avoid a group of workers here, crack open a door there, and in I was. Then I activated Sandra’s little jammer and began my search for a fire alarm. Once that was done, I did my best to walk down the factory hall as nonchalantly as possible. Hopefully no one would bother me, but if worse came to worst, I could pretend to be a customer on his way to the sales department.

Finding a fire alarm wasn’t hard, a factory is swarming with the things. The important part was to set it off without being seen. I made my way down a hallway and wouldn’t you know it, one was right down at the end. A quick look back showed me no one else was around. With a single swift motion, I cracked the glass and pulled. Sirens went up all over the place. The added confusion of a failing security system should do the trick. As quickly as I could, I made my way back outside and I could already see the chaos erupting. Wouldn’t be long before someone figured out that nothing was amiss. By then, we’d most likely baited the creature to where Sandra wanted it to be.

I pulled out my phone and hit her up.

“You found our little friend?”

“Get to my location. I’m transferring it as we speak. It’s hiding in an underground maintenance area.”

It took me about a minute to meet up with her. I could see the small downward ramp she was waiting at and an old, rusty gate at its end. The moment we got closer, I saw the gate was ajar and had been pushed open by force. Bingo, I thought.

Sandra cross-checked her scanner once more before she nodded towards me. She reiterated the plan once more. Then we entered. We inched forward bit by bit and made our way past rusted boilers and giant water tanks. It wasn’t long before we saw the creature. The thing was huge, much bigger than I’d imagined. It could only mean one thing. It must’ve snuck in here while it was still mutating. Now, it was down here to bid its time and grow. As I stared at the dark silhouette ahead of me, I guessed it was at least twice my size. Shit, this could get nasty, but it hadn’t noticed us yet. All right, fucker, I thought, as I pulled out my gun and pressed the trigger. If I was lucky, I might take care of things right here, right now. The moment the bullet hit, the creature stirred and pushed itself upward. It was even bigger than I’d thought before, the size of a small bus. I pressed the trigger again and again, but it didn’t seem to do anything. For a moment, the creature didn’t seem to understand what was going on. Then a pair of glowing, bloodshot eyes focused on me and it let out a deafening roar. Shit.

“I think we should,” I started, but I started, but closed my mouth again.

There was no hint of Sandra. I was alone. Where the fuck did she-? I didn’t get to wonder any longer because right at this moment, the creature stormed in my direction. Without looking back, I dashed towards the entrance. This goddamn bitch! She’d told me we had to lure it to the abandoned warehouse, so she must’ve gotten there already. She’d left me behind as bait.

As I ran, chaos erupted behind me. I heard the crunching of metal as the creature crashed against a boiler, followed by the explosion of one of the water tanks. For a moment, I pulled out my gun again, shot at the giant, looming shadow, but the thing didn’t even react. Shit, what the hell were we supposed to do against something like that? Grenades, I thought, and had already closed my hand around one of them. Then I remembered where I was, right below a factory. If I threw one of my goodies here, chances are, I’d blow up the entire fucking complex.

Finally, I’d made it to the doors, then I was on the ramp and then I stormed into the direction of the abandoned warehouse. A second later, the metal gate exploded outward. Another angry growl followed. When I looked back once more, I saw how close the thing was and got a good look at it for the first time. From the body, the snout, and the tusks, I could assume that the bloated abomination behind me must’ve once been a wild boar. No time to think. With every second, the creature closed in on me. I sprinted towards the warehouse, but was stopped by a giant fence. My eyes darted left, then right, but I found no gate. Dammit! In an instant, I jumped onto the fence, pulled myself upward and climbed. I’d barely made it to the top when the creature reached it and charged right into it. The fence was obliterated, and I was sent flying. Somehow, I could land on my feet, but pain shot through my legs and I crashed to the floor.

“Over here!” I heard Sandra call out to me.

“Fucking hell, help me you goddamn-!”

I didn’t get to finish the curse. The thing was right behind me. There were only a few meters, then only one, then the entire area was basked in blazing white light as the flash grenade exploded. The thing was disoriented and growled in anger. It continued its charge blindly, barely missed me before it charged in a different direction. I fought myself to my feet, felt the pain in my legs and knees, and knew I hadn’t come out of the fall unscathed. I half-ran, half-limped over to where Sandra was.

“What the hell are we supposed to do against something like this?” I screamed at her.

“Can’t use any grenades, can we?”

In front of us, the bloodshot eyes scanned the area. They grew wide when it found us. I saw muscles twitch below the skin and tusks grow. Shit, the fucker was still changing and mutating right in front of us. Another deafening roar followed. As it opened its mouth, I saw a gorging maw filled with brick-sized teeth. A disgusting black tongue and something else pushed outward. It was half a dozen huge, heavy tentacles. They were pulsating, stretching, and then opened up and shot something into the air. A disgusting yellowish-green liquid flew right in our direction.

“Watch out!” I screamed at Sandra, who still hadn’t moved a single step.

For a second, I rushed forward to push her out of harm’s way, but then I felt myself being propelled backward. When I pushed myself up, I saw Sandra hovering a few inches over the ground and her hair stood up slightly. The liquid crashed against an invisible wall about a meter ahead of her. The moment it hit the ground, the concrete oozed and bubbled. Acid, I realized.

My eyes, however, weren’t resting on the acid and neither on the abomination in front of us. No, they rested on Sandra. This bitch! This goddamn bitch! She was one of those damned freaks, one of those... psychomancers or whatever they call them.

The creature roared, charged forward, but came to a halt after only a few steps. Its mouth opened again, the tentacles pushed outward once more, but with a single wave of her hand, Sandra closed it. I could hear the thing screeching in pain and saw the muscles of the jaw tightening before they tore apart. The creature tried to push itself forward and pushed against Sandra’s invisible barrier. I saw the muscles in its legs tighten, but then Sandra’s eyes grew wide. The air was filled with the sickening sound of bones breaking and flesh tearing. A moment later, the front legs of the creature gave way. It struggled, pushed onward on its hind legs alone, but another wave of Sandra’s hand obliterated them in an instant. Sandra hovered closer. She made the smallest of gestures, a final, minute wave of the hand, and I saw the creature twitch and convulse. Acid oozed from its jaws and ate away at flesh, bone, and skin.

“The acid glands are gone, and it’s unable to move. Please finish the creature off, Exterminator 7D11087.”

For a moment, I just stood there and stared at her with an open mouth. Then, as she came to a rest on the floor, I nodded. In a trance, I stumbled towards the pitiful creature. Its eyes looked at me. I saw what remained of its jaw twitch, but nothing was working there anymore. All had been destroyed. I pulled out the gun and finished the thing off with a few shots right into its head. Then I limped back to Sandra.

“You’re one of those psycho-“

“We prefer the term mentalist,” she cut me off with a slight smile on her face.

“All right, mentalist then. Now tell me, if you’re able to take down a C-class organism like it’s nothing, why the fuck was I needed here?”

“You weren’t. It was merely a precaution. Beast, vermin and humanoid types are no problem for a trained mentalist. There is, however, a chance that an organism can have abilities similar to ours or that the extermination lasts for a prolonged period.”

“The hell are you trying to say?”

“What I’m trying to say is that even though we mentalists are far more capable than other, lower-ranking exterminators,” her eyes came to rest on me, “at times, even we can’t handle things on our own. It’s a rare exception, though,” she added with a condescending smile.

As I stood there, I could only continue to stare at her. Great, so Headquarters hadn’t just sent me a freaking bitch, no they’d sent me a fucking mentalist, of all things. Way to go. Way to make me feel fucking useless.

Fuck monsters and fuck mentalists.