Chapter 3.2: Damn Bureaucrats!
The TV in the room was loudly broadcasting a Royal Road commercial featuring a paraplegic kid who could walk again in the virtual reality created by the game. The Royal Road commercials had come out of nowhere, but were now shown non-stop.
Ozzy was disgusted, ‘How can these people live with themselves, using a helpless kid like that to promote their useless product. It's revolting that humanity has come to this… Ack!’
Ozzy looked away from the TV to those around him. He was sitting in one of the many chairs and sofas that were spread about the room. Some chairs were pointed to the TV as his was and others were pointed at each other – their occupants being currently engaged in chess, poker, monopoly or bridge games. Even with all these high-tech games taking over the TV commercials – it’s still the good old fashioned games like monopoly that survive in the old folks home. Ozzy didn't know whether he should be pleased by this fact or disturbed by it.
On the one hand it showed that humanity still valued its roots. On the other it showed that the retirement facility didn't want to invest its money into the entertainment of the elderly. He wasn't sure which perspective to take, so he decided to take the one he could be most vocal about.
“You see that Bernie!” Ozzy screamed at the man beside him, “there are all these fancy-schmancy gadgets out there that could make us feel young again! And do we get any of the action? Nooo. We don’t! And you know why? I’ll tell you why! It’s because of those damn bureaucrats! Somebody has to show them they can’t just railroad us like this!”
Bernie just gave Ozzy an apologetic glance. The man was mostly deaf in both ears. Both men didn't really care that Bernie couldn't hear what Ozzy had been shouting. Bernie knew that Ozzy was just shouting because he could – and because he liked to be loud… a result of having been a drill-sergeant for many years before he had climbed the ranks. Both men knew that he didn't actually care about how the entertainment fund was divided. Most people in this facility were part of the wealthier class and didn't have to worry about paying for being old and unable to work.
Being old wasn't easy, but Ozzy was pretty fortunate when it came to his bodily equipments. He didn't have to deal with diaper priviliges like many of the others in the room. He had his pick of chairs and didn't have to worry if they had upholstery or not.
‘In the end, it’s the small things in life.’
‘The end huh… so it’s come to this.’
Ozzy wasn't depressed about being old, he knew it was just a part of life, he did however resent it a little. He had always been a goal-oriented man. A go-getter. A man who believed that merit could overcome any obstacle. And he had done pretty well for himself – all things considered.
When looking back at his life, this is what he could see:
Macklemore Oswald.
Seventy-two years old.
Retired army General.
A true medal of honor veteran.
Current location: Florida.
Current residence: End of the Road, Home of the Elderly.
‘Not only do they put me in this shit-hole, they got to rub it in my face that I’m old. They think I don’t get it? My joints don't let me forget it! Damn-it! End of the Road is accurate. Ack! People nowadays have no respect! None whatsoever!’
---
Ozzy had a hard, angular, quadratic face. He had a perpetual 5 o’clock shadow over his large jaw. In his youth he might have been considered extremely handsome – though handsome is a somewhat effeminate way of describing his good looks. These looks were however concealed by the permanent crease on his forehead caused by his never-ending scowl. It’s not that he was unhappy, it’s just that he got used to scowling so much – his face didn't remember how to… not. His eyes were a steely grey, they were not however the eyes of a killer. The eyes that many military men ended up with. His eyes held a certain warmth. He had however inherited the harsh military buzz-cut.
Most see him as a moody character. Some of it is inherently his, the rest was drilled into him during his illustrious and extensive career with the army. He enrolled fresh out of college. It was his way out of a broken home in a small town. He had done very well for himself. He had applied his ideals of hard work into his life and it had paid off. His kids were both able to go to college and now had kids of their own.
When asked about them, he would answer in a harsh tone, “Damn ingrates! Forgettin’ who provided them with all those opportunities. Opportunities I never had!”
Deep down though, he knew that his kids would take him in with open arms if he asked, but he knew better than to ask. He didn't want to live with his kids. He loved them and all, but they had to move on with their lives.
‘Let them live and learn.’
They didn't need him for that. He was proud of them and was happy that they visited him in the holidays. He didn't need much more than that.
But he was just so bored all the damn time. There was TV. Then there was food. Then there was some more TV. Then there was some more food. Then some lucky bastards got knocked out and went to sleep. And others like him – didn't have enough going wrong to get the good stuff. So he twisted and turned as he tried to go to sleep at night.
‘It’s so strange. When I was a kid I loved sleeping. I would of slept all day long if I could. And now, after six hours of sleep I can’t anymore. Maybe my body’s afraid of the ‘eternal sleep’ and is trying to stay awake. Heh. Heh. Heh.’
He chuckled himself to sleep.
----------
The next morning Ozzy got up and decided he was going to play Royal Road.
‘After all, it can’t be as boring as what I do all day anyways.’
He needed a sense of purpose in life. He needed his goals.
He had never played an MMORPG before. He had however had some experience with virtual reality. The American army had been experimenting with training recruits through a virtual reality simulator. He had given it a go once.
‘Perks of being the General. Heh.’
‘Can’t be that much different from that right?’
He signed into his Amazonia.com account and ordered a capsule.
‘This thing’s expensive… buuuuut… what am I going to do with my cash anyways? Bury it?’
He didn't believe in saving it for his kids. His philosophy was: ‘I worked for mine, I’m gonna use it. If there’s some left when I go – then it’s all yours… but until then stay out of my pocketbook’
Amazon had recently (16 years ago) merged with all the major shipping companies of the United States to form Amazonia. It had created a massive monopoly – but continued to offer low prices when they could have been exploitative. After the merger there had been major riots where people claimed that a company shouldn't be allowed that much power. Amazonia however, promised that it would not abuse its position, claiming that it had only gone into the merger to promote customer satisfaction. At a now famous press conference they promised that the merger allowed them to be so efficient they could deliver ice to your doorstep if you wanted.
At the time Ozzy had though they were full of crap so he decided to order a large chocolate milkshake from them. Twenty minutes later a deliveryman had showed up at his doorstep with a perfect shake in hand. Ozzy has been a loyal customer ever since. Every now and then he orders a chocolate milkshake, ‘to keep them on their toes.’
And so, he was not at all surprised when an hour later he waved away the two tech-support employees that had installed the capsule for him. He eyed the silver casing speculatively. Then, he squared his shoulders and purposefully entered the capsule.
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Connect to Royal Road?
Yes | No
‘No Einstein I want to go fly-fishing!’
"Yes."
-- The scan on your iris and vein has determined that you are an unregistered user. Do you want to create a new account?
‘Jesus Christ! Are they afraid I am going to change my mind or something? I just laid down hard cash for this piece of junk!’
“Yes.”
--Select the name of your avatar.
Ozzy had been ‘Ozzy’ for as long as he could remember. It had been Oswald in the army, but that was quickly morphed into Ozzy. By the he finished boot camp, even the drill-sergeant had to look at his file to remember his name. After fifty-four years, a successful marriage, two kids, a brief widowhood, an unsuccessful marriage, a brutal divorce and retirement – he still went by Ozzy. He didn't see how now should be any different.
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
“Ozy.”
(A/N: The one less Z is to differentiate between real life and Royal Road Ozzy.)
--Select your gender from male, female or neutral.
“… Male.”
--Royal Road has forty-nine races. You may select your race from the primary twenty-nine. These races include, human, dwarf, elf…
“Human!”
--You may alter your appearance to a certain degree, at least 25% of your original appearance must be maintained.”
Ozzy wanted to remain the same, he didn’t see how pretending to be someone else was going to make anything better. But then he remembered all those commercials he had seen. He did not want to appear on national television.
‘People these days don’t know the value of privacy. I’m going to keep as much as I can of it.’
He thought about who he would like to look like. He considered making himself young again but quickly discounted that. Ozzy didn't want to be considered young by others. He liked the authority that was given to elders, ‘Even if every generation is becoming more and more disrespectful!’
As he thought about it, he found it difficult to think of someone he could just pretend to be. He didn't want that person to be alive!
‘That could bring all kinds of legal trouble.’
And then he remembered Harry Potter. Ozzy had loved the series as a kid and he had always thought that Dumbledore was one of the best characters of the franchise. He decided.
“Make me be a Dumbledore.”
-- Your appearance has been modified in accordance to your instructions. The changes were made whilst still maintaining 25% of your original appearance.
‘Yea… ya… I get it! I’m old enough to look like the guy… Ack!’
“Can’t we just get this game started already?”
-- Your account has been activated. Your stats and class shall be determined while you are playing Royal Road¬. You will now be guided through the introductory guide. Which will include all the information you need to survive and thrive in Royal Road.
“Alright.”
--Select the city and kingdom in which you want to start.
Ozzy remembered all of the TV commercials he had been forced to watch. The cripple-boy’s city had been the one that he remembered the most vividly. There had been footage taken from a running person’s perspective. Always moving, going somewhere. That’s the feeling he had gotten from those videos. That’s what he wanted. To be moving, doing, going somewhere.
“Fort Feranisburg.”
*Flash*
Ozy looked around the market square.
‘Well this is… different.’
Royal Road’s virtual reality was designed for pleasure and so the sensory reality aspect had been developed much more than what he remembered having experienced in the military pod.
‘Well… you know what? I kinda like it.’
He was surprised himself. He had expected to come in and hate it immediately. Part of him had actually been looking forward to it. Imagine all the complaining that could be done in spending thousands of dollars on a useless venture.
He spent some time studying his surrounding and the people in it. He looked up at a woman that was standing next to him. In real life he wasn't short, he was sort of stockily built – but on an average frame. Here though he seemed to be shorter than average. Way shorter. He was probably around 5’0 tall.
He remembered asking to look like Dumbledore so he was perplexed.
‘Had they gotten it wrong? Surely not. Everyone knows Harry Potter – even if it is sort of old.’
He decided there was nothing he could do about it and took stock of his appearance - comparing it to the real Dumbledore. He was small and slightly pudgy. He was still old and he still had his half-moon spectacles, but he was bald on the top of his head with little sprouts of hair still covering the sides and back of his head. He had a large nose, a crooked posture and a large wooden staff that towered over his diminutive features. He wondered about the staff.
He had been standing in the square for quite some time and he had seen other users appear out of thin air. Their gear was always the same and yet none of them had a staff. He was very confused. Being small was going to be difficult for him to adjust to as he had to shorten all of his movements to account for his smaller body.
---
Unbeknownst to him, Unicorn Corporation had not been able to get the copyright agreements to include Harry Potter into the virtual world. They had tried repeatedly, but the company that now owned the franchise had demanded a sum that Unicorn Corp. could not afford. They had invested almost every last penny into the development of the world; they hoped that the fantasy of the world itself would make up for the lack of Harry Potter and that users wouldn't take notice. They didn't. Unfortunately for Ozy though, a user named Mist had recorded a Dumbledore into the world. A Dumbledore that was completely different from the one he had known in his childhood.
---
Ozy decided get a move on. He wanted to shoot something. He hadn’t been able to go to the gun range in quite some time. He knew it was all just a game but he figured he could get the same level of enjoyment out of it since it all felt so real. He asked one of the town’s people about where to go and they said he was probably looking for the Training Hall. The man he had asked pointed him in the right direction and off he went.
When he arrived at the Training Hall the first thing he realized was that it seemed kind of barren… and small… especially if they had any real firepower. A man introduced himself as he approached Ozy who had been looking around with a confused look on his face.
-“My name is Flavius. I am the main instructor of this Hall. Do you need some instruction?”
“Yeah, matter a fact, I do. Where are your guns?”
-“What are guns?”
“You know, they’re big. Mostly made out of metal, bullets come out of them.” At Flavius’s confused expression Ozy continued, “Well it doesn't even have to be guns. Where are your grenades? You got any of those?” Flavius still looked confused, “They explode when you take a pin out of them. You know, big BAM BAM BAM?” He said as he reenacted shooting a shotgun with his staff.
Flavius eyed the staff Ozy had been swinging around warily. He seemed to be contemplate something for a while before he eventually said.
-“I know what you are looking for. It's the alchemists’ guild!”
“…”
‘They can’t not have guns here… I mean this is a warfare game right? Isn’t the main objective about becoming the Emperor or something?’
He thought about all of the commercials he had watched. Surely there had been guns in them… hadn’t there? As hard as he tried to remember – he couldn't remembering any scenes that had featured guns.
He could deal with the weirdly small body. In fact, he hadn’t even considered destroying the character to create a new one that would be easier to handle. He didn't believe in quitting. But no guns? That was a harsh call even for him. He looked at Flavius who was still standing in front of him again. He gave him a pleading look and asked.
“Not even the standard issue M4 carbine? Or even an M9. I’ll take an M9 if you got it.”
By this point Flavius was getting impatient and said, “I’m sorry but we do not offer that kind of… equipment. Now if you want me to teach you how to fight. I would gladly assist you.”
‘No guns. Ack! Damn. Damn. Double Damn!”
Ozy squared his shoulders as far as he could in his little avatar and followed Flavius to the scarecrows.
'Flavius...What a shitty name!'
Chapter 4.1
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That's what I hope was some comic relief. Not a comedian though so...
** Might move this to after chapter 8 and 9. Remains to be seen. I wanted to write him though.
Again for those of you who need help placing the time: 2 days (Royal Road time) after Foot has started his training with Ty.
I hope you guys enjoyed Ozzy. I had a lot of fun with him. He's my favorite so far - which is why I wrote him out before what I should have.... OH well.... artistic liberty and whatnot.
Thanks for reading!
Chapters 8 and 9 are in the works. Not today though. Maybe tomorrow - but def. by Friday. (:
Got to figure some stuff out!