Amethyst needed rest after all the social interaction since that morning had begun, Tenya was in their room hiding from everyone again while Busara was out with Nuru searching for Ebba. Tenya was pissed about not being out there, but she just didn't blend in. Neither did Amethyst, so they were stuck waiting for others to do the work they felt they should be a part of or so Amethyst felt.
Stochastís, also, was too well known. He was "on the run" since wanted posters came out with crude depictions of his face. Though the Serpent guard hadn't seen him, it was fair to assume one of the many locals he had interactions with had made some deals. Amethyst enjoyed her time with him, but found him a bit long winded. He was often locked in some deep thoughts or profound wisdom, or so Amethyst thought while failing to pull him from himself.
The weight of time crushed Amethyst as the boredom deepened. Waiting with nothing to pass the time besides working out and sleeping. She didn't feel like doing either, but resigned herself to return to bed after the sun finished setting. The candle meant to illuminate the room was left on its perch outside of the room. Tenya must have been out somewhere in the manor. She lit the candle and gently pushed the door. She was unprepared for the resistance of the door. With a little effort, the door gave way. On the other side, Tenya's bag along with Amethysts had been haphazardly shoved, or more likely thrown against the door.
Amethyst sighed as she neatly replaced the bags to their proper place. She spent only a short time fussing over them, determined to fix them more in the morning. She looked over to Tenya who was splayed over the bed in a deep sleep. Tenya had stripped, leaving a trail of her clothes to the bed. Her pale skin was brightly reflecting the light, while her limbs blended darkly with the covers. The exasperated sigh rang in the dark as Amethyst went to wake Tenya. In the light which flickered dimly, she could see the nectar apparatus lightly hanging from Tenya's arm.
"Tenya?" Amethyst asked as she observed the motionless body. "Tenya." She said louder, making her approach. She didn't see any movement or response. Amethyst felt a surge of panic grip her as she rushed to check Tenya's pulse.
The rapid beat, beat, beat of her own thunderous heart made it difficult to feel Tenya's. But soon a slow but strong thump... thump... thump made itself quietly known. The adrenalin fell away as her own heart found rhythm similar to Tenya's and yet a third and final sigh for the evening escaped before the hint of a smile accompanied the drop of her shoulders.
She looked around to the mess Tenya had made. The bed had been pulled bare with bits of straw poking up through the thin barrier. Amethyst could see now that her eyes had adjusted a multitude of feathers and straw along with all the fabric. but the glint of a bottle stole her attention. The unique shape was a cloudy clear brown. The cork, which she couldn't see in the mess, normally had the head of an animal attached, though Tenya's had been worn away with use. She searched for the cork, finding it across the room. She lifted the bottle and her heart fell again. The bottle of Nectar was empty.
*
Amethyst had given aid to many who were suffering from withdrawals. The survival rate unassisted wasn't even worth a number, not that she had ever considered it. It wasn't that they got sick and died, it was a slower deteriorating process. The first four days without Nectar are clear but some who have been using it for a while are quite cranky by that point. One would be forgiven for thinking they were fine or just having a bad day. Day five the real aggression starts as they lose the ability to rationally look at the world. They become paranoid about everything.
As the aggression and paranoia grow, they start picking and scratching at themselves, complaining there are bugs under their skin. They keep scratching to the bone if left with enough time. They turn their aggression inwards and hate themselves by hitting, biting, and continuing scratching. By this point, infection and blood loss are the top killers. But if one manages to survive to this point, the fever kicks in as the body really goes crazy. They turn rabid and feral until the last of the drug is purged from them. Most don't get that far, being put down by local authorities for becoming too much like the undead scourge.
If by some miracle they make it past that point, without more Nectar to help wean the body over a long period, they slowly and painfully crystallize. Scum of the earth seek out their crystal bodies to crush and sell as "Sugar" which is said to be the purest and most concentrated form of drug. Though Amethyst had never seen anyone crystalize, She heard that from many other slaves who claimed to have been a part of monstrous experiments, or who knew a friend of a friend, whose cousin died that way.
*
There was no need to consider things. Amethyst searched through the pouch that held the collected coins Hofu had given them which she squirreled away. Only a hundred or so remained with most of it gone. She was equipping her traveling clothes as she heard groans coming from Tenya.
She moved quickly to Tenya, her hand resting on Tenya's head. She was a bit flush, but no warmer than normal. Amethyst looked down on her with warm eyes as Tenya remained oblivious in her thrashing dream. She watched Tenya wriggle a bit more before settling down. The low whisper of "stop" softy fled the dream into reality. Amethyst heard a familiar desperation that she Had felt many times before. She needed to get Nectar, regardless of the consequences.
She managed to sneak out of the compound, not from the guards, but from her companions. Nuru would understand, but only if she knew about the Nectar. It wasn't Amethyst's place to expose that secret, besides, if Ponáei learned of the addiction, she might throw her out. It was clear, some distaste had been held for Tenya on Ponáei's part. Busara wouldn't give an "I told you so." Even if he didn't say it, Amethyst was afraid of his judgment of Tenya. He had told her in the beginning that Tenya could get them all killed. She wouldn't mean to and Amethyst knew that. Wa Chini would probably want to come along, and like last time accidently let it slip what she was getting into. As kind and understanding as he would be, she required secrecy and he had a hard time knowing what not to say.
Amethyst was taken by the night air, it's cold breath sucked away the warmth from her exposed skin. She was prepared and brought along some extra layers. She had almost become accustomed to the hot and cold. Amethyst laughed quietly at her imagination as she thought how Tenya was like the desert. Hot then cold, giving, then taking. Maybe the desert wasn't so bad. After all, you never quite appreciate an oasis until you march through the desert. Tenya was just like that, with small springs amidst her hostile scape.
Her mind wandered along to different paths as normal, but she remained somewhat focused as she passed shadowed figures with shifty eyes. Small bits of sand which had managed to get in her shoes had rubbed a small blister as they crossed the Shifting Dunes when they first got into the country. After all the training, the blister had come and gone, and tonight it returned with a vengeance. She was grateful for the pain to keep her mind grounded, but cursed the ground which ground sand into her suffering feet.
Back to the red-light district, she looked around for anyone she could trust to tell her where to find a dealer. Among the delinquents and prostitutes she found a familiar face. A certain man who once claimed to be the only human in the Serpent Guard. His face was darkened by more than shadows under his hood. Bruises of deep hues had migrated from the beating he had received. Part of Amethyst almost felt sorry for him, or at least would feel sorry if he weren't once again spinning tales to a woman who clearly wasn't buying it.
"... He threw me sure, but with my cat-like reflexes I managed to--"
"I saw the Serpent Guard wail on you. Imposter. If you are not gonna pay, fuck off!" The woman spat at the man, then walked off.
The man shook his head, "Yeah well..." He started to shout, "I hadn't got to the best part." He let his head hang for a moment before he realized Amethyst was watching. His head snapped when he noticed and as if the whole scene hadn't just happened, he slicked his hair back under the hood and with a wide smile strolled over to her.
Amethyst stared him up and down. She wondered how he thought a move like that could possibly work. He wasn't just a delinquent, he was a degenerate too. But he did help her to meet Wafi, maybe there was still a spark of something good in him. She stood, arms crossed, waiting for him to make a move, or recognize her. As he was about to speak, his mouth hung open for a moment, then looked with squinted eyes. She could tell the gears were turning, even if they were a bit rusted.
Amethyst could smell a heavy stench pouring from his slack jaw. Alcohol mixed with some kind of rot, or maybe just old food which had found a comfy place to live. Luckily with the dim lights illuminating only a part of his face now, she couldn't see his teeth. She held back the urge to choke, holding the perfect façade she had achieved from decades of men like this as her masters.
"Didn't you just yell at me?" He stammered
"You're drunk again, aren't you." Her accusing tone left no room for a question.
He drew out. "No." His voice rose towards the end, making it seem like a great insult, or maybe a poor attempt at sarcasm.
His rancid breath burned her eyes. She took a solid step back. She gestured for him to remain as he attempted to advance on her retreat. "You're a dog, Wanna do me a favor?" Amethyst said unamused.
He remained in place as prompted, then nodded his head like he was a dog following her command. Amethyst hoped he didn't take it as a compliment since he didn't bother defending himself. To her, she saw a boy still learning to be a man. Degenerate or not She really was starting to feel bad for the guy. He must just be living the life he was taught. Her head rang with echoes of her companions telling her she was too kind.
She pushed down her urge to help him, her time was limited, and she needed to keep moving forward, for Tennessee. "Nectar."
The perversion that glazed his eyes had vanished as he started thinking. He looked like less of a dog now and more like a guard trying to think of the best directions to the city park. "Oh, yeah, I knew a dude, but haven't seen him around in a bit."
"Wafi." Her solemn tone betrayed the fate Wafi had found at the hands of Uongo's men.
"Yeah Wafi!" He said loudly and with a laugh. "My ssssssnake buddy." He mimicked in a nasally voice that sounded pretty accurate. The booze had dimmed his wit, Her meaning was lost on him.
Amethyst's throat was itching fiercely as the rune vibrated lightly, causing her head to jerk. "He passed, was killed by... well he died." She hadn't known Wafi long, and their conversations were brief. Even so, she empathized with Hofu, and could extrapolate the hole Wafi’s passing had left in Hofu's heart. She considered briefly the friends she had lost over the years, along with her failures.
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The long silence Amethyst left festered, giving the man enough time to receive the words and process the meaning. He became suddenly lucid as the news finally hit him. "No! Wafi is like a cobra, he is way too quick." He forced an unconvincing chuckle. "I... I've seen him take on thieves and rivals several times." He stopped suddenly, placing his hand on his chest.
"A cobra would still be felled if surrounded by four serpents, and Wafi was not so lucky to have only four as his assailants." She remained reverent, surprised by the clear heartfelt response. Hofu may have known Wafi for a while, but it was clear this man lost a very close friend. Maybe he really wasn't so bad after all.
The man slid against the wall, his head cradled in his hands "Who killed him?" He asked looking up to her.
Amethyst saw a boy once more, terrified and hurting at the loss of his friend. She hadn't felt empathy like this for someone who served such a cruel man like Uongo. She had honestly thought a man like this incapable of feeling this way. She remembered her thoughts in Stone Town. Perhaps everyone truly is a slave to something. "You should grieve and let it be. Honor his memory and live."
He sat still for a moment, breathing slowly. He heaved once, twice, then let dinner spread the sandy road.
Amethyst remained stoic on the outside, but inside she wanted to comfort him. She clearly remembered The purpose of her being here, but here she saw another injured cat, in need of someone to help.
He did his best to clean up there, slumped against a wall on a busy street. Amethyst watched as people just passed by. Those who did turn to look laughed, or mocked the drunkard. She wasn't surprised, but felt a weird urge to shout them off. She didn't owe this man anything, but her heart just wouldn't allow her to push past his pain.
He looked up at her with lightly glazed and wet eyes highlighted by the flickering lamplight. "Please, I need to know."
His friends deserve to know the truth, no matter the consequences. He may look like a lost boy, or injured cat to her, but he should still be able to make his own choices. "He was killed in the House of Uongo, by the hands of many guards while he secured the escape of his compatriots."
"That--" The man's fury took over his drunken mind. His fists clenched tightly before he let his head drop back against the wall. his hands fell loosely to his lap as a deep held breath relieved his tense figure. "Well Wafi always was finding trouble."
"I'm sorry for you and your friend."
"He went out on his own terms, I'm sure he found his honor." He sighed again. "Thank you for telling me, I... You need Nectar right?"
"If you need more time, I don't want to interrupt your grieving" Her body relaxed a little as she squatted down, her tail sticking tall to keep her balanced easily.
"You are a lot kinder than these degenerates." He had a sad smile. "Thank you."
"Yeah, well you don't seem like such a bad guy." She gave a smile to match.
He pushed up the wall and stood wobbly as Amethyst rose to meet his gaze, though she kept her distance. He may be nice, but he still smelled like dead fish.
"Go down that alley, it's 3 streets down, looks like a rug shop next door, don't go in there though. It's not meant for a nice lady like you." He dusted himself off as he spoke, shaking.
"Assassins?"
"What?" He let out a long laugh "No, it's just a rug store."
"Okay." She said, confused. "Why shouldn't I go in?"
"Well, the owners are... not quite right. This guy has these big buggy eyes, and a weird smile. The place is something out of a scary story. And the woman just sits and stares blankly."
"So it is a weird rug store?"
"Yeah, just weird. There is a short alcove to the right of the rug shop, go down that and take the door on the right, the door on the left is to the back of that rug shop."
"Thank you." Amethyst turned and started away but turned back at the man's call.
"A piece of advice, don't get hooked on Nectar, or anything for that matter, you're better off." He gestured to himself.
"Thank you, It's not for me, may I offer you a piece of advice as well?" The man nodded like he had earlier. "Don't get hooked on anything, you're better off."
"I think you might be right, maybe it's time to look for another job while I'm at it.
Amethyst smiled and nodded to him giving a little wave as she went on her own way
*
Money spent, Nectar vials on the bedside table and a rough night with little sleep made the practice with Busara and Wa Chini the morning following her venture into the dark streets more challenging was preferred.
Tenya would be aggressive and hit frequently, but Busara masterfully kept his distance with his staff, as he trained her against reach. On the other hand, she couldn't keep Wa Chini more than two feet away at any given moment as he rushed her again and again. She knew Wa Chini wouldn't hurt her, but the glint in his eyes showed none of the gentle nature he always exuded. The results couldn't be argued though, she was rapidly gaining skill. She felt like she could almost keep up, at least until she and the ground reunited again.
Tenya skipped the training, so during Amethyst's lunch, she made her way up to the shared room. Inside, the room looked less of a mess than last night, except for a big bundle of blankets now in the corner. Tenya wasn't here. A spark of panic began to ignite before she heard the soft sob which came from the blanket bundle. Curious Amethyst slowly shut the door, latching the lock bolt. She stepped cautiously towards the blanket bundle her hands lifted, palms down and fingers outstretched. She slowly lifted it, "Tennessee?" She asked sweetly.
Tenya looked up from under the blanket, her eyes were puffy and red. Her sniffling form looked pathetic as she was curled tightly in the corner. The beautiful confident façade she always presented had finally cracked in a big way.
"What is wrong?" Amethyst asked, squatting hesitantly. Her voice was gentle and soft, like speaking to a small child.
"It's all my fault." Tenya whispered. She had been clutching at her arms tight enough to draw blood. Small clumps of hair had found their way to the ground.
"What is your fault?" Amethyst jumped back slightly as Tenya pulled the blanket down again.
"It's all my fault!" Tenya's muffled yell was like a cutting blade, making Amethyst's heart cry out for her.
"Okay," Amethyst said, as she transitioned to sitting on the floor. She was close enough to Tenya, that even her quietest whisper was clearly heard. She tucked her tail into her lap "Talk to me." Her soft voice was nearly inaudible.
No response came, so Amethyst pulled the blanket up and let herself inside so both could be under at the same time. She sat the small candle between them, illuminating them both. The heat was not nearly as bad as outside, though it was still uncomfortable.
"It's my fault." Tenya shuttered at her own words, tears rolled heavily down her rosy cheeks.
Amethyst sat patiently waiting for Tenya to collect enough of herself to speak. She could tell Tenya didn't know what to say.
"Ebba... Sven... It's my fault they were kidnapped." She sniffed deeply, "I...I was too high and I took them out of the compound against Solveig's orders and while I was too high to fight, they came and stole him. I walked that trail with them so many times, by the time I realized what was happening, they--" Her breath caught as she started to choke, She fell into a coughing fit as she struggled to breath and cry at the same time. Her body was heaving and shaking. The cold sweat soaked her body.
Amethyst tossed the blanket off to help with cooler air, then scooted beside Tenya, wrapping her arms around her, "Shh, you're okay, inhale as deep as you can and hold it."
"I think-- I'm -- I'm going to... die, my heart doesn't feel right... I... I... think it's... exploding." Tenya tried to speak more, but fell into another cough as she hyperventilated.
"You are not going to die, and your heart is just fine, I can feel it's beating. It's strong." Amethyst's voice remained calm and even as she spoke with confidence. "You are going to be okay. Deep inhale... and... exhale."
Tenya slowed her breath as she began to calm slightly. She wiped tears and put her hands on top of her head as she shuttered and tried to follow-through with deeper and slower breaths.
"There you go, you are doing great. Let's start over... slowly" Amethyst rested her hand over Tenya's heart and left her other hand wrapped around her shoulders. Tenya had clutched Amethyst's tail.
"Sven and Ebba wanted to leave the compound. I knew a way to leave so that Solveig wouldn't notice." She kept her head low. "We stuck to the trail we had taken a hundred times, The city isn't far, and the path is well known and traveled by locals." Tenya composed herself as she continued. "Before we left, I... over Indulged." She fell silent as she considered what she wanted to say further. "I forgot, I loaded a dose the night before, plus this dose, and I was... well my mind was... somewhere else. Lucid, but slowed."
Amethyst rubbed Tenya's shoulder and pressed her hand more firmly over Tenya's heart.
"I remember men laughing, Sven and Ebba screaming, then I woke up to James waking me. Oh, James is the compound caretaker, he found me out by the trail." She had let all the tears she could out, now all that was left were the memories. "If I hadn't been high, or taken them out against Solveig, they--" Though she didn't have more tears to spend, her body wretched in a dry heave.
"When did you last eat?"
"I don't deserve food. leave me alone to die."
"Don't belittle yourself, you made a mistake, and now you must be strong enough to fix it the best you can."
"I'm a shit mom, What kind of mother lets her babies be stolen! And... and I am still on this fucking thing!" She shrieked, then with little more than a whisper. "I killed Sven and sent Ebba off to be abused by monsters."
"I can't imagine how you feel as a mother, but as a daughter, I have never blamed my parents for my being taken. I am sure your children know well and good--"
"You can't imagine. Not the look of fear in their eyes." Amethyst flashed to memories of Sven crying out in the dark. She could hear his outbursts as Wa Chini tried to lull Sven back to sleep. The screaming voices above The Sewers sending Sven into a tantrum while all she could do was watch the fear in his eyes as his body clenched, seizures setting in and Sven's delirium growing deeper.
"You are right, But I'll do my best to understand."
Tenya looked up at Amethyst, who had tears of her own welling. "I'm sorry, I know you've been through a lot and seen a lot too." Tenya wiped her face, "Sorry I've been such an asshole, I just want to be better."
"Then let's get better, I went out last night and got more for you, it's not much but..." Amethyst realized just how tightly Tenya had been gripping her tail. She was embarrassed at first, trying to press down the feeling as she continued. "I'll help to wean you off, and take charge of the vials, I've injected before, so it won't be a problem."
"Okay." Tenya's eyes were cast down.
"And if you start getting cranky, I'll call you Tennessee, instead of Tenya."
"Okay." Her head turned away as she tried to be as small as she could be.
Amethyst gently lifted Tenya's chin until their gazes met. "You are not doing this alone, We will find Ebba and get her safe, and I'll help you with the nectar addiction."
"Okay." Tenya whispered.
"Then we will get you back to your youngest." Amethyst had a little smile as she gazed into Tenya's Eyes.
The soft and feeble look switched in a blink, as the fiery determination returned to her. Amethyst remembered that fighting mother who stood proudly against Katili and had already trekked thousands of miles to get back to Ebba. Amethyst's heart yearned, She wasn't thinking of kissing her, or holding her. No, Amethyst was imagining the moment when this strong, beautiful woman took control of her life, and the lives of her children back.
"Fuck yeah!" Tenya proclaimed.