Before I could decide, a blaring noise accompanied by a blinding flash of multicolored lights burst from somewhere overhead. The Volunteers crowding around Spawn Alley stopped whatever they were doing, some with slippery ramen noodles still dangling from their mouths, and craned their necks, shielding their eyes as they stared into the expanse above.
Gaudy billboards delivered an audiovisual message, amplified gratuitously across The Commons. I gripped my little treasure chest and winced.
Attention Volunteers! Because of your bravery and selfless sacrifice, The Collective is ready to grow! Reality Inc. is rolling out the red carpet as we prepare to welcome 30 million new Citizens to this virtual utopia! Thank you for your dedication to the cause–to Make the Metaverse Safe Again so our Citizens can live their best second lives!™
Murmurs and visible confusion flooded the alley. The sentiment was mutual. Nothing about this world seemed remotely safer since the time I had arrived. But the announcement wasn’t over.
The boards showed what could only be referred to as corporate propaganda, portraits of the smiling faces of the ‘brave men and women’ who allegedly volunteered for this hazardous cleanup duty. Glancing around, the real Volunteers were a rugged, modded-up group of bezoomny roughnecks, not these picture perfect poster children on display.
But remember, your job isn’t done! We know you Volunteers won’t rest until every repulsive globule of invasive foreign data is scrubbed from The Collective! To reward your hard work, Reality Inc. is introducing an amazing new opportunity in our upcoming patch!
Hmmm. That’s… unexpected. Reward? Opportunity? The system didn’t like to give out any free advantages, as far as I could tell.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
For every invasive entity purged, you will receive one Voucher–even if you didn’t have an active Task assigned for that entity! Vouchers can be redeemed at the newest, hottest location in The Commons–the VF Social Hub! Possible rewards include property upgrades, hoverbikes, special auras, and emotes! Don’t know how to do the Moonwalk or the Running Man? Well now you can–with emotes!
Emotes? What the literal hell.
The billboards now displayed some sort of splashy outdoor carnival atmosphere by way of a rave. I think I spotted a ferris wheel. The video even showed so-called Volunteers dancing on a hexagonal light-up stage while a helmeted DJ spun records. The entryway to this Hub appeared to lead through a narrow, enclosed shopping area–a place I had seen once before.
But that’s not all! The VF Social Hub will also feature a Leaderboard! Do you have the skills to get the kills and pay the bills? Bragging rights!
I didn’t think this Metaverse could get any worse…
The final part of the message was conveyed in rapidfire delivery, and in a lower register.
For a (partial) list of patch notes, the compulsory addendum to the Volunteer Terms of Service, details about ‘Loserboard’ demerits, and a disclaimer on Voucher odds, please visit your nearest Information Kiosk.
And just like that, the announcement was over. The red lanterns and neon signage seemed dim in comparison to the sensory onslaught that just occurred. I rubbed my eyes.
Maybe I’m still adjusting to my ocular implants.
A new patch. Hmm. Antisoc said something about the system timing the release of new patches with the cycle changes. Does that mean rain is in the forecast?
I looked down at the chest, visualizing the tinkling 100 Crystals within. Before I did anything else, I would go to the Data Forge and spend these. It was a risk. But I had a feeling this Metaverse was about to get a lot crazier.